Star-Captain

     “Messenger. That I could do.” That would provide enough time apart from her home, whilst not entirely severing her from it — and the constant travel would do much to ease her restlessness. 

     All of that aside, she would not refuse the chance to see Bard’s children every now and again. They had taken a liking to her, Tilda especially, and Tauriel did not doubt that she would enjoy more time spent with them, or they, her. 

     “Thank you.” This reprieve from her kingdom is not owed her, she knows. And she is grateful for it. “I— hope I might return to the Guard. Someday. Not very soon.” 

𝑼𝒏𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒆, 𝒘𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒃𝒐𝒓𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒄 𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒐𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆.    And to carry those weary from the storms chasing them, as would Thranduil anyone dear to him; not at last for battle has left them all SCARRED.    Stripped them of composure, to the bone.    Brought forth the unsightly nuances.    Tauriel’s willingness to climb the ladder to regain his trust as one among the guard, suffices to cast warmth to the ELVENKING’s still blood-stained countenance.

❝  Tauriel, I know you well. And you do not cease to remind me every once in a while, to remind me of one thing.  ❞    He remains sitting beside her for another moment, a hand reaching for one of hers to hold it and give it a gentle squeeze as he leans closer, if just by an inch or two.    ❝  Your determination is unequaled.  ❞

     “...have you seen Bard’s children? I spotted them after the battle, but I haven’t been able to speak with any of them. I worry that — for the effect this battle has had on them.” She would not object to a chance to speak with them, provided they wished to see her, as well. Acting as messenger would provide them plenty of opportunities, but she hopes not to wait that long. 

The Battle of the five Armies countdown - day 8 of 30

“Can you heal him?“

“Are you lying to me?”

“Did you ever study magic?”

“I know magic when I see it.“

“You can’t address me like that.“

“Are you not fond of old crypts?“

“Perhaps, but have you any proof?“

“So, how is it that you know magic?”

“What’s the point if it can’t be used?“

“I saw what you did. It was so brave.”

“I pride myself as a fair and just king.”

“Haven’t you had your fill of revenge?“

“Whatever it takes, I will make this right.“

“Everyone thought you were a real hero.”

“It was simple justice for what he’d done.“

“So, killing things mends a broken heart?“

“I thought I told you to get out of my sight.“

“They will do anything you tell them to do.“

“Yeah. What are you going to do? Kill me?“

“Has anyone ever told you you’re a genius?“

“You need to be careful who you say that to.”

“How can you go out there and fight like that?“

“I warn you, I’ve been trained to kill since birth.“

“Come on. Don’t pretend. I know what you did.“

“I don’t see that there’s anything to be jealous of.“

“What did your mother say to you about your gifts?“

“Perhaps if you found someone? If you remarried?”

“You were prepared to sacrifice your life to save me…”

“Okay, let the bragging begin. How did you manage it?“

“You are a question that has never been posed before.”

“You brought that on yourself with the evil you practiced.“

“I’m sure you’d have the pick of any lady in the kingdom.“

“I want you to swear to me what you’re telling me is true.“

“No, no. I’m sure you’re stronger than you look. It’s just…“

“See, you’re too proud to admit you were saved by a girl!“

“Wow. And how long have you been training to be a prat?“

“You are special. The likes of which I’ve never seen before.“

“I saw you fighting today. You have a very aggressive style.“

“No young man, no matter how great, can know his destiny.“

“With your swordcraft and this shield, I guarantee you’ll win.“

“It must be so tough for him, with all the… girls and the glory.“

“There is only one evil in this land, but it is not magic. It is you!”

“I just hope it doesn’t involve putting yourself in terrible danger.“

“Well, I’m glad you walked away. You weren’t going to beat him.“

“Poor child. It can’t have been easy to grow up without a mother.“

“I turn to you, for I feel lost and alone and don’t know who to trust.“

“None of us can choose our destiny. And none of us can escape it.”

“I saw how desperate things were becoming. I had to do something.“

“I’m not sure fairness comes into it. You never know, it might be fun.“

“Your magic is not a toy. It’s not for you to use or abuse as you see fit.”

“I believed you. I trusted you. And you made me look a complete fool.“

“You have to show everyone that you were right and they were wrong.“

“I know what it was. I just want to know where you learned how to do it.“

“Then I’m afraid there’s nothing more I can do for him. He’s going to die.“

“You see? This is how a true knight behaves. With gallantry and honour.“

“I just don’t think chopping someone’s head off is cause for a celebration.“

“Why does everyone seem to think it’s down to me to do something about it?“

“How long are you going to keep punishing people for what happened, then?“

“But I promise you, before these celebrations are over, you will share my tears.”

“The choice was mine. My punishment is mine to bear, and mine to bear, alone.“

“I’m sure he was merely mistaken. I wouldn’t want him punished on my account.“

“I’m afraid it counts for very little as far as the king is concerned. That’s the way it is.“

“I wouldn’t say I needed exactly saving. I’m sure I would have thought of something.“

“I feel like I’ve put you in danger without stopping to ask how you feel about it. I’m sorry.“

“Would you let something terrible happen if it meant you’d stop something even worse happening in the future?“

“Well… magic requires incantations, spells that take years to study. What I saw you do was elemental. Instinctive.“

‘ want me to stay? ’

‘ we’re almost home. ’

‘ you should be in bed. ’

‘ we can share it.’

‘ stay there. i’m coming to get you. ’

‘ shh, shh. you were dreaming. ’ 

‘ grab my hand. ’

‘ i’m just going to pick you up. ’

‘ everything okay? ’

‘ i won’t leave you behind. ’

‘ don’t worry. better out than in. ’

‘ who did that to you? ’ 

‘ sit down and rest. ’

‘ sweetie, i would never think that. ’

‘ come lay down in my lap. ’

‘ i know you think you’re all alone out there, but you’re not. ’

‘ call me when you get home. ’

‘ we should change those bandages. ’

‘ you’re safe here. ’

‘ honey… ’

‘ of course we love you. ’

‘ wait here. i’ll go run a bath for you. ’

‘ take my bed for tonight. ’

‘ i promise. ’ 

‘ you’re always welcome here. ’

‘ don’t talk like that. ’

‘ bad dream? ’

‘ talk to me. ’  

‘ it’s okay to cry. ’

‘ you need to be more careful.’

‘ we should hug this out. ’

‘ i worry about you. ’

‘ can i hold your hand? ’ 

‘ because i care about you. ’

‘ it made me think of you. ’ 

‘ take care of yourself. ’

‘ put your seatbelt on. ’ 

‘ where did you go? ’ 

‘ i didn’t mean to worry you. ’

‘ i made breakfast. ’

‘ sing something for me? ’

‘ open it and find out. ’

‘ how long have you been like this? ’

‘ you look nice. ’

‘ here, take my jacket. ’

‘ close your eyes and try to get some rest. ’

‘ focus on my voice. ’ 

‘ i meant every word. ’

‘ i was here all night. ’

‘ look both ways before you cross. ’

‘ you don’t have to talk. ’ 

‘ this is your favorite, right? ’

‘ you’ll feel better in the morning. ’

‘ you have a nice laugh. ’

‘ here, take my jacket. ’

‘ you could stay here. with me. ’

     Anguish, he says, and yet expects her to overcome having lost the guard. Her purpose in life, so she thought. But to return there now, when so little awaits her at home — it seems more daunting than her first patrol, so many years ago.

    “I know.” Voice low, Tauriel looks up at last, meeting his gaze; and her eyes soften when she fails to find as much anger as she had expected of him. “…But I have no wish to return, if I’ve no longer the responsibilities of a guard.”

    She will not deny she has found herself yearning for the familiarity of home, but not so much that she is ready to face the people and the memories that surround it. And besides ——

    “The people of Laketown will need help to rebuild,” she says, sitting up straight as she speaks, despite the pain. “With your leave, I would stay and do what I can for them here.”

𝑴𝒖𝒇𝒇𝒍𝒆𝒅 𝒗𝒐𝒊𝒄𝒆𝒔 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒃𝒆𝒚𝒐𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒍 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒐𝒖𝒕 Tauriel’s response, for his attention is undivided and hers alone.    So does not once his expectant gaze avert from her mien ( believes to see her world shatter behind those pleading eyes ), even if her wish to stay among Dale’s men catches him off guard.    FAIR lips peel apart, albeit no word pours forth just yet;  prominent brows crease.    Initial thought that Tauriel means to turn her back on her kin, out of selfishness, fortunately reclines with her suggestion following.    And Thranduil emits a barely audible sigh, relief guiding GRACEFUL limbs so he may sink to sit beside the elleth.

❝  Such is an endeavor I will not principally oppose and still, it requires coordination  ❞,  slow-paced speech flows calm, contemplation presenting itself through brows remaining furrowed.    A blink of heavy lids later, Thranduil’s lids narrow.    He still beholds her more as a FATHER would do than a ruler, gladdened either way that she would dwell somewhat near in lieu of straying where perils grow too great.

     All of that aside, she would not refuse the chance to see Bard’s children every now and again. They had taken a liking to her, Tilda especially, and Tauriel did not doubt that she would enjoy more time spent with them, or they, her. 

     “It would appear that it is for everyone else’s sake. And certainly not mine. Unless you intend to reinstate me as soon as I am healed.” Grips she the end of the bed, now, slowly lowering herself down to sit on the edge. 

     This final blow, to add to as many as she has already taken this day, nearly makes her question her desire to return home at all. Facing her people after all that has happened, all she has lost seems inconceivable, now. If she is not a guard — what is she? 

     “I wish you would not pretend it is for my good,” Tauriel mumbles, turning her head so she need not look him in the eye as she speaks. “When we both know well it is to make an example of me.” 

Fiery spirit, there it blazes harshly upon her tongue.    Vexation is swift to rise and return that scowl fading only a moment prior.    Thranduil glowers whilst observation wanes not once, why Tauriel refuses to see the whole picture clearly being beyond him.    It must be the GRIEF shrouding her heart ( as other elves’ ) in this battle after another.    The battle within oneself after weapons were put to rest;  still stands he content with her brutal honesty if the alternative would pose silent deceit.

❝  Speak for yourself.  ❞    Scolding edge sharpens his baritone, albeit won’t its volume increase past that necessary to guarantee hearing.    ❝  I know what I see with my own eyne, Tauriel, which is no less than a young elleth laden with anguish she needs to overcome, above all else.  ❞    Lest it misleads her further.

    “I know.” Voice low, Tauriel looks up at last, meeting his gaze; and her eyes soften when she fails to find as much anger as she had expected of him. “...But I have no wish to return, if I’ve no longer the responsibilities of a guard.”

    She will not deny she has found herself yearning for the familiarity of home, but not so much that she is ready to face the people and the memories that surround it. And besides ——

     Perhaps her ears have deceived her. Or her exhaustion has caught up to her more quickly than she predicted, and she has misunderstood. The loss of her rank was expected. From the moment she set foot outside the palace, she knew she would not return as captain  — but to pull her from the guard completely? 

     One yet uninjured hand grasps table’s edge, seeking some measure of stability. Her entire life she has sacrificed for the guard, fighting as soon as she was of age; did those years mean nothing after one transgression? 

     “You mean to pull me from the guard altogether,” she says, slowly, still in disbelief. “Not as captain.” 

Broad shoulders slacken gradually, the king’s tension subsides for the father’s sympathy to show its true weight atop them.    All those shimmering layers of fine fabric, gems and SILVER adorning him; now that facade poses burden more than means to hide vulnerability.    Tauriel’s repetition of the punishment he voiced rings in KEEN ears akin to a child realising their dream just shattered.    It does not leave him untouched.    Thranduil turns on soundless heel to face her anew, previously stone-hard mien softened a tad.    And only a tad, for he must not wane.

❝  Such would be a necessary evil, Tauriel  ❞,  swings along calm confirmation an undertone betraying his guilt.    Vague as it may be — after all has she brought this upon herself.    The ELVENKING ought to have informed her of consequence’s true extent sooner.

     This final blow, to add to as many as she has already taken this day, nearly makes her question her desire to return home at all. Facing her people after all that has happened, all she has lost seems inconceivable, now. If she is not a guard — what is she? 

“  i’m not going anywhere.  ” “  you make me feel safe.  ”   “  i think i might be in love with you.  ” “  i just like seeing you happy.  ” “  just let me take care of you.  ” “  you’re my family.  ” “  i can stay, if you want.  ” “  you make me feel alive.  ” “  you’re captivating.  ” “  i want you to know i’ll always be here for you. whatever you need.  ” “  you don’t have to tell me anything, we can just sit here.  ” “  i trust you. more than anyone else.  ” “  you have a beautiful soul.  ” “  i feel like i could watch you all day. everything you do has a touch of magic to it.  ” “  i hope i see you in my dreams.  ” “  do you trust me?  ” “  you don’t ever have to pretend. not with me. not ever.  ” “  i love you, every part of you. even the parts you don’t like.  ” “  you make everything a little easier.  ” “  will you just…hold me? please.  ” “  just tell me everything’s gonna be okay.  ” “  you’re enough. you’re more than enough.  ” “  you have my heart in your hands. be gentle with it.  ” “  i wanna be the one you go to. the first one you tell when there’s something good. the shoulder to cry on when it’s bad. and every mundane thing in between. i want to share it all with you.  ” “  i have faith in you.  ” “  i’ve never met anyone quite like you.  ” “  knowing you is like…coming home. like i’ve finally found something that’s been missing all this time.  ” “  every hard thing in my life feels worth it. it all led me to you.  ” “  i feel like i could endure anything as long as i have you to come home to.  ” “  i can tell something’s bothering you.  ” “  what can i do to help?  ” “  come on. let’s get out of here.  ” “  i’m taking you somewhere special.  ” “  where are you taking me?  ” “  i don’t need grand gestures or declarations of love. i just need you. all of you.  ” “  you make me feel like i’m worthy.  ” “  you deserve good things.  ” “  i want to be your home.  ” “  loving you is like something holy.  ” “  i made you something.  ” “  come back to bed.  ” “  stay the night with me.  ” “  are you sure you’re okay?  ” “   you wanna talk about it?  ” “  did you wanna tell me something?  ”  “  you’ll always have me.  ” “  i’m proud of you.  ”   “  i need you.  ” “  thank you. for always being there for me.  ” “  don’t ever let anyone make you doubt your worth.  ” “  i’m not leaving you. not ever.  ”   “  you have kind eyes.  ”   “  sleep, my love. i’ll keep the nightmares away.  ”   “  there’s so much light in you.  ” “  i want you here.  ”  

ACTIONS: 

     “I would not have left had I felt our people were ill-equipped to manage without us for a time. Neither would Legolas.” She can feel his glare, though she yet refuses to meet it— so Tauriel stands, albeit slowly through the pain of her injuries. And turns away; feigns to direct her attention to a map lying on a small table, cluttered with dwindling healing supplies. 

     “And I would not turn a blind eye to the orcs that pursued those prisoners. They attacked us, if nothing else, and they aimed to kill the dwarves. It would have been a worse thing had I decided to leave them to such a fate.” And leave the orcs to whatever hurts they would inflict after the fact. 

     “I would be surprised to hear that you would, Your Majesty.”

Speaking as king and guard, private ties shed for the greater matter at stake, what tension reigns this healing chamber now barely paints the picture of foster father and daughter.    Hard as STONE and persistently so, Thranduil’s mien alters in no moment, softens not;  arms remain folded across his chest.    Feet planted to the spot where ends of velvety robes gather and veil knee-high boots.    He listens, albeit feeling his jaw clench behind sealed lips.    For a moment, at least, ere FLUID stride carries him toward the room’s only round window — 

❝  Therein alone lies not my frustration.  You ventured beyond our borders without my knowing, without my permission.  And worse  ❞,  demanding tone impossibly missed quiets down, briefly so, turn of his crownless head bridging that moment of nigh soundlessness.    ❝  …. marched unto other lands on your own.  ❞    Upper lip twitches where nostrils flare in an expression still wrought from naught but disappointment.

❝  In your arrogance you did not act as the captain of the guard but as a mere hunter.  And such you will be henceforth.  ❞    Degradation, as much as it breaks his heart as a parental figure who ever wanted for Tauriel to realize her potential not only as warrior but LEADER as well.    He can not say it.    His son, too, would be lifted from his position, must the father see to his duty as king who ever reigns fair but alas.    Legolas went forth into the world, forbidden to wander alone in a conversation highly similar to that one now..

     One yet uninjured hand grasps table’s edge, seeking some measure of stability. Her entire life she has sacrificed for the guard, fighting as soon as she was of age; did those years mean nothing after one transgression?