I Play The French Whorn

little mermaid au jikook!

Ham: *Small chuckle as he moves towards Miles*

concrete: *cracks*

peter, thinking about his abandoned nintendogs: almost enough to lift the weight of my sins, yes

peter: *picks up the hulk, yeets him 700mph at a flock of aliens* ANGERY SHREK ATTACK

Black Cards:

Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell ___.

I am homeless. I am gay. I have AIDS. I am ___.

I’ll keep ___ right here and then one day I’ll die.

Buy ___. Engraved, question mark?

There’s ___ loose in a hospital.

This is ___. Could be a nursery.

I gave you ___ and you gave me ___ and then we called it a day.

Because we’re ___ and life is a fucking nightmare.

My wife is ___ and I like her so much.

I’m very gay. I’d like ___.

The bread of God is ___. He will bring us ___.

Is it ___ or is it ___? That’s up to ye.

College is just ___ and they’re like, “Partial credit,” and that’s like the whole thing.

___ might as well happen. Adult life is already so goddamn weird.

White Cards:

A sea of drunken toddlers

7 What’s New Pussycats followed by 1 It’s Not Unusual

A hundred year-old blind dog who’s texting and driving while drinking a smoothie

A 28-year-old healthy man trying his best

One black coffee

Playing violent video games and catfishing pedophiles

[sustained groaning] yknow, life?

STREET SMARTS!

The moral backbone of a chocolate eclair

One word at a time with verbal abuse

Snorting cocaine the night before college graduation

A hundred and twenty thousand (120,000) dollars

Being so horny and angry all the time and having no outlet for it

A tall child

A high-waisted man with feminine hips

Delta Airlines

Anyone who has seen my dick and met my parents

Going down on some rocking twink

An on fire garbage can

Doing white people stuff in Connecticut

One pre-Y2K asshole

Our nation’s No Snitchin’ policy

Such 19-year-old horseshit

Throwing pedophiles off their rhythms

Has the same energy as this

the crippling anxiety, waiting in the corner:

A wicked grin split across my face and the gates of Hell opened up behind me, releasing a gust of hot wind that whipped my apron around my body and forced the woman to shield her face. Demons came forth, dancing around in flames with songs of, “She wants to speak to a manager. Did you hear that? She wants to speak to a manager!” before erupting into earsplitting shrieks of laughter, none louder than my own cackling.

I took in the woman’s look of utter horror before my eyes rolled back into my head and I growled,

Answer: English vs. French.

Kansas was named by English speakers after the Kansa tribe of Native Americans. You can have one Kansa or you can have lots of Kansas, and the “s” is pronounced in English.