the butterflies are free…

god, your worst warrior needs money

did you know that you can increase the quality of your quesadilla by adding seasoning

did you know that you can decrease the quality of your quesadilla by making a tumblr post while it's cooking and burning it

"Love/sex is what makes us human" Wrong. It's the obsession with rectangles. look around you and count the number of rectangles you see.

they should invent an 8-9:30 pm that's seven hours

Ghosts aren't real, it was probably just the house settling that gave you that blowjob

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

my specialty is liking the same movies that 50-year-old dads like but in a way that would instantly send those dads into cardiac arrest if they heard me talk about them

does the body ALWAYS have to keep the score? maybe we could just have a friendly game this time. maybe we can just have fun without putting numbers on it

i can't express how absolutely important it is that when you make an edgy, brooding, badass character who's tough as nails and good at fighting and whatever, you HAVE to give them at least one reason to become completely helpless and pathetic. you have a panic attack quota to fulfill.

My Name is 8 PM. and I am always arriving when you atrent Looking

a one season television show is also a dead wife if you think about it