My monitor is sideways and this motherfucker is still swording too hard

This man is trapped in his house with what’s going to be like 1000 giant moths and it is somehow the funniest thing I have seen in days.

I get the bittereet vibe they were going for but I’m not a fan of these separation endings that are so trendy lately

Which doesn’t speak English at all, all it’s line are in Italian and it’s name is GUIDO. And everyone knew I was obsessed with Italy in elementary school but they didn’t know why bc I, even as a young autistic child, had the sense to know this was a rightfully so, highly mockable thing. So I would read about cars on IMDB and then one day someone posted a crackfic on the message boards there and it was about this guy getting drunk and beating his wife, and it snapped me out of my fugue long enough to realize how absurd wanting to be Italian was, but then it made me cry really hard and my parents were like ‘hey what the fuck’ and I didn’t have the chutzpah to admit anything so I told them I saw a naked lady online and then they went into the computer and found all the weird south park midi songs I downloaded on lime wire and I thought they were literally going to kill me for about two weeks.

He’d always had a bad temper, but this was ridiculous. We were in the middle of a crowded restaurant when he …

tfw you realize the guy who keeps kidnapping you and using you as bait to catch his arch nemesis is actually just a theater kid who’s really nice

Please tell me they are hooting among each other. Cuz that would be so cute…

OP I think you’re my cosmic opposite and we need to duel or something.

we’re entering into soft girl spring where I roll myself up in moss, paint myself in pastel colors, and cry a little like a sorrowful waif of the moors every hour

I wrap myself up in moss and I roll tf away.

Future birthday cake goals