Those Beyond, Brought Within

All I wish is that people see me as the thing I am. Luckily for me, many of my friends call me a creature or cryptid due to me referring to myself as one, but do they really see me that way? Do strangers see me that way? I wear the clothes I am allowed to that make it feel like like I don't have a human form, but will anyone ever look at me and not see a human?

Seeing as I play a protector role in the system, I cannot help but to see my existence as a subversion of the guardian angel trope. I sprang from religious trauma (among other things associated with my host's childhood), so I suppose it makes sense. Where else would you turn when whatever heavenly forces you grew up believing have failed you

I hate being a human because my form which I am trapped within is so comprehensible

while I am a shadow demon, I am wondering if I could be an eldritch void at least from some perspective

I find humans to be fascinating, and yet I am constantly and consistently away and separate from them, as though an invisible, glass wall blocks any interaction from being true and genuine. They're fun, they're interesting, and I am not one of them.

I’m typically okay being in this body because many people can’t tell my gender or voice so it makes me feel somewhat indescribable, but I get heavy dysphoria around extremely large/open buildings (like airports) for some reason?? I guess it’s because I’m supposed to be bigger than those. I’m supposed to be in the body of an indescribable pulsating mass, with limbs of every animal, but I’m not. I’m not the size I was supposed to be and I hate it. I’m supposed to tower over cars, bring an indescribably thick fog wherever I go. But at an airport or mall I just feel. Small. (Grahhhh I hate it)

sometimes, i’m reminded that i inhabit a human body, and that it’s honestly really gross and confusing. i don’t know, i’ve never been good with words. it’s just very strange to realise at random points in the day.

ive started considering my actual appearance more like a flesh vessel than not. its weird being like this when im supposed to be an endless mass of eyes and teeth and wings in the vastness of space

being the god of mortality is such a paradoxical existence (maybe that’s why I died so early…) that’s why I adopted the saying “my ichor runs red”. if anyone else wants to use it to describe their divine kin or just general nonhuman experience, feel free to do so