Elara-Jane

Is this all that my life has came to?

A series of fleeting moments, all scattered on a facebook page

We can view ourselves in different ways, each photo displaying a memory; a history

Of the smiling faces, some masked with the poison of a good time

And the cascading birthday messages, with the humour and fear of a bad photo going very wrong

My university life is spread across a continuous scroll

With the occasional meet up of the ghosts of my past life; the city and the people that I once called home

My life seems grander now, with more worldly views

But yet I can’t help but see that I am still in a perfect bubble

University life is exactly that; it’s a way of adulthood without being an adult

And with it comes the nights of drinking, of the wild stories and how you travelled to a foreign place at three in the morning just because you felt like getting away from it all

And now that’s what my Facebook shows me; the wild nights, the holidays and the drinking.

But it does not show my imperfect moments; of the times it got too much; when I failed that class; when I was left two-hundred pounds in my overdraft because the flights turned out to be too much money.

It does not show me how I fell out with the old ghosts of my past, and how I get messages asking for us to ‘meet up’, as if that will ever happen any time soon

It does not show how that boy I fell for six months ago still has me blocked on all social media platforms

But that’s the point, isn’t it?

It’s a trap; a way to show that you’re perfect without being perfect.

And I still fall for it; for that social media bubble

It haunts me, and everyone else in my generation, with the constant pressure to advertise themselves;