AND STEVEN

BUT IT WAS REALLY I, SPIT.

“I love them!”

“Yeah, I deserve that.”

He’s still feeling too terrible to be offended by that remark.

“Wait no it was just a joke! I was just proving I was still an asshole! Come back!”

“And you can’t prove that they don’t.”

“You’re talking crazy now! There’s nobody more assholer than me! I’m the kid, I can get away with saying shit you two can’t! This is why everyone laughs at you behind your back, gosh!”

“You can’t kick me out of the asshole squad! Then there’ll only be two! That’s not a squad, that’s a duo!”

You can practically hear the dial-up starting noises. 

“Wh-What do you mean? It’s my thing. The impressionable kid of the group! So I gotta act all cool to keep up with all th’ cool kids, capiche? Ya comprehend what I’m puttin’ down?”

“I’m reborn.”

“Real talk, I love all of you guys. I just love seeing you mad.”

“‘ey, you can always have solidarity with Spit. So long as you understand that Cookie Cats ain’t th’ jam.”

“...I see. I’m sure we can sort this out non-violently.”

“...there are two kinds of Steven.”