E'rin Rae's Adventures

There are a lot of things that happen in life that are upsetting, disappointing, unfortunate, and so on. Everyone knows this. It can be hard to cope and find the silver linings in particularly unfortunate events. The pain of losing a loved one may be abated by the bittersweet realization that the memories remain are a piece of them that never fades. Those memories can still bring you joy and in doing so, the departed are still there, make every day a little bit easier. For someone with amnesia, there may be a realization that they get to experience things they know that they loved for the first time again. Small comforts, maybe, but comforts none the less.

For E'rin, being forced out of her tribe and abandoned outside a schoolhouse was hard to accept at first. It made her bitter and distrusting. As she's grown older and wiser, she's realized that her life would never have been as good if not for that fateful event. That is an easy silver lining to find. Harder to find, though, are the positives of her lack of voice.

Two positives come to mind for her, though. Firstly, it's made her great listener. Secondly, it makes it easier for her to identify those that are truly devoted friends. Those friends will patiently wait for her to finish her written replies and give them as much respect as they would any spoken remark. Then there are those who have the time and dedication to go even further. They will take the time to learn sign language and give E'rin the opportunity to have comfortable, real time conversations. No stopping to write, no awkward pauses or attention turned to paper, just two friends talking... And that is something special.

What is a soul? Where does one's incorporeal aether go when one passes? What is the nature of the Lifestream? When one is at death's door, what happens to their aether then? Does the soul lose something to the Lifestream or does it gain something? Perhaps it does both? E'rin had so many questions to think about as she pondered the circumstances of her birth.

Born with her umbilical cord wrapped around her neck, absent breathing, and heartbeat faint, the young miqo'te was in a dire situation. The midwife feared that the young miqo'te she'd helped bring into the world would soon exit it. Quick thinking drove the midwife to seek out the village healer. Eccentric, reclusive, stubborn, she rarely left her home. This was a special circumstance, though. A brand new spark of life was in danger of being snuffed out before it had been given the opportunity to become a flame.

The healer hurried to the mother's home as fast as her old bones would take her. She entered the home to find a panicked mother and a motionless infant. Wasting no time, the healer began to channel her powerful magic. The pale blue glow of aether illuminated the inside of the home as the healer pulled the infant's back from the brink. The child had dipped a to proverbial toe into the Lifestream and had been pulled back to the living world in full.

All in the room breathed a collective sigh of relief as the pink-haired intent drew in her first breath and continued breathing. They were overjoyed to see the girl open her ocean-blue eyes and take in her first sights and sounds of the world. She did not cry, she did not scream, she did not make a sound, but she was alive.

A pleasant rain had come to call

E'rin watched the raindrops fall

Heavy droplets tap their rhythm

A beat to mark the new life given

And though she's sad they had to go

She sat and watched the new rainbow

And when the rains had finally ceased

The blonde miqo'te seemed at peace

The pleasant scent of petrichor

Had come to knock upon her door

Watered earth and dewdrop glimmer

Create a moment to remember

A simple time of simple bliss

No din of war, no cold abyss

The forest woke with restored vigor

That urged the plant life to grow bigger

Fleeting, precious, quick to pass

In life nothing will ever last

And so she welcomed to her door

E'rin looked down at a place she'd tried to forget. It was a building that contained evil within its walls. She couldn't forget, try as she might. She could not abide its existence now that she had the power to do something about it. Fire formed in her hands as the memories of her time in that place came back to her. The fire grew, flickering and dancing around her forearms.

The Miqo'te was bathed in orange light from the flames, making her eyes gleam with it. She thrust a hand out and fire trailed towards the building, starting a small fire in a corner of it. The occupants within rushed outside in a panic as smoke began to fill the establishment. E'rin waited until all were out before she fully unleashed her fiery wrath upon the place.

The flames roared to life in a matter of seconds, forming into a fire tornado. The building was naught but kindling in the face of such fury. Beams turned to charcoal and ash, collapsing. The roof fell into the flames and they burned all the hotter. Those outside looked for the source of the sudden inferno. They found it atop the rise.

Presenting as a borderline demonic presence, E'rin stood with half of her glowing by the fire's light, the other half of her in dark shadow. The stark contrast only added to the sinister and fear-inspiring presence of the Miqo'te. Feared murmurs exchanged between the former occupants, who consisted entirely of women. There was a lone man among the group. This was who the devil on the rise pointed at. Her eyes seemed to blaze with flames. There was no question as to whom she was leveling that threatening finger at.

E'rin tossed a generous sack of gil down between the women. She pointed to the girl, then motioned to the gathering of women. She then pointed at the man once more, drawing a line across her throat. The message was clear. The gil was for the women, not the man. The flame-wreathed woman then turned and vanished behind the rise.

As she walked, E'rin smiled faintly. Destruction cleansed a specter from her past. No more would that place serve as a sanctuary for evil. No more would that man profit from it. If he tried, she'd be there again to burn it all to ash once more.

Somewhere in a back alley in Limsa Lominsa on a rainy day, a young E'rin was listening to the sound of the raindrops beneath a makeshift shelter. It was composed of no more than a scrap of sailcloth and some discarded palettes, but it was enough to keep her dry.

The child curled up onto a ball, fluffy tail wrapping around her, ears idly flicking from time to time as she enjoyed a moment of peace. The serenity of the soundscape was occasionally disrupted by a flash of lightning followed by a thunderous rumble. While that occasionally startled her, it could not overpower the gentle beat that the rainfall tapped out around her. E'rin closed her eyes and fell asleep to the water's lullaby.

Gridanian politics had always been a divisive subject. Opinions were typically split between two groups: Those that had only a superficial knowledge of the city and those that had seen behind the veil of flowers.

At first glance the citystate might've seem an idyllic haven for the more nature-inclined sort. Grassy roads, blooming and glowing flowers, flowing water, trees, wildlife all around... Who wouldn't be enticed by all the city had to offer? But beneath all of that was a darker side of the city. There were many skeletons in the verdant closet of the city. E'rin, having been born and raised in La Noscea, was oblivious to this fact.

When E'rin arrived in Gridania to hone and refine her talents, she'd taken it for face value. So much beauty, a place of natural treasures. She roamed the city, oblivious of many things. Appearing to be a Seeker at a glance, she'd avoided most of one of the primary pitfalls of the city: the derisive assumptions brought on by one's blood. Gridania had no shortage of ire and contempt for Duskwights and Keepers, and outright hostility towards those that did not fall in line beneath its laws.

E'rin weaved her way through the city's streets in search of the Conjurer's Guild, feasting on the foreign sights, smells, and sounds along the way. Eventually she reached her destination, walking up to the entrance of the guild. The structure was hewn from the environment around it, reinforcing the idea of connection between conjurer and the elements.

Introductions were exchanged and E'rin expressed her desire to join the Conjurer's Guild. The conjurer that greeted E'rin asked why she was interested in the guild. Rather than explain with words, she opted to use her magic and pulled water from the nearby stream. She held the water in an orb between her hands a moment before turning it to mist and creating a small rainbow.

After that small and brief display of her natural aptitude, she was welcomed in with open arms. The tour around the guild fascinated E'rin. Excited for the opportunity to learn, the Miqo'te asked to begin training immediately.

E'rin's initial "training" could more aptly be described as a lecture. It wasn't as much about the elements as it was about the rules of engagement and the doctrine of the guild. She must engage with the elements in the ways laid out by the guild, she mustn't misuse her magic, and so on. The rules were laid out for her in agonizing detail. Justifications for each rule were given with historical context. E'rin nodded along in agreement as she listened, but in truth the whole thing made her feel a bit uneasy.

E'rin's uneasiness stemmed from the fact that her relationship with the elements did not align with what she was being told by her teacher. The hearers within the guild that claimed to speak for the elementals puzzled her. But perhaps they knew something she didn't. After all, she'd heard songs and not words. Despite her reservations, she decided to press on with her training once the orientation lecture was over.

Several sennights passed with E'rin's training progressing the whole while. She was a natural at it. E'rin was an attentive student, a fast learner, and diligent with her practice. Despite her training going well, she began to notice more troubling things around the guild. What troubled her most was the way the guild members responded to the leadership. It wasn't simple respect. It was more intense. It was reverence... Deference.

On the surface, it simply looked like the students, guild members, and hearers were working together to keep the elementals happy and protect Gridania and all denizens of the Shroud. But it went beyond compliance. At times, it bordered on religion.

When the hearers spoke, their flock listened and obeyed without question. The conjurers of the guild seemed to blindly accept the hearer's professed words of the desires of the elementals. The word came down, the loyal parroted it. There was no need to enforce their will, those that hung on every word would agree no matter what.

E'rin sat in her room, relaxing on her couch with guitar in hand. She strummed a few chords as she searched for inspiration for her next song. She started to add little fills and embellishments, fingers deftly dancing over the fretboard. A melody developed and words started to enter her mind. This was the way most of her songs were created. She did her best work by simply relaxing and letting the music flow.

Her hands were well skilled at many things: guitar, writing, sign, and costume design to name a few. Her sharp mind made her an adroit businesswoman as well. Using this combination of skill, smarts, and a bit of luck, she'd turned her passion for music into a living. Branding, handling record deals, royalties, signing events, meet and greets, interviews, and promotions all brought in money for the miqo'te. E'rin took pride in herself for seizing the opportunities presented to her. Study developed intellect, practice developed skill, hard work made it all pay off. She knew that investing in herself was always a worthwhile investment.

It was pleasant afternoon in the Mist. Well, pleasant to E'rin. A warm late-summer rainstorm was showering the land as it passed over. E'rin loved to sit under an umbrella, listening to the beat of the water pattering all around her. Water was her oldest friend, after all. It the element she'd always heard the loudest, the one she had the strongest connection with. The quiet reverie in the downpour was meditative for her. It gave her time to clear her mind and reset.

E'rin was startled out of her reverie by a lightning flashed in the skies overhead. She hugged herself a but and glared up at the spot where the bolt had been. She began to contemplate her issues with Levin. It was intense, powerful, quick, and destructive. She heard no song, only a clap and a rumble. It was like the crack of a whip and the roar of a lion. How does one find the song in such abrupt outbursts? Perhaps she was thinking about it wrong...

Could it be that Levin's song was not abrupt? Perhaps each clap and rumble were individual notes in the greater composition that was the storm itself. Each strike could be the crash of a cymbal and the pounding of a deep drum. It was not melodic, but it could still be musical. Maybe Levin wasn't abrupt and rash all, but instead it was patient and calculating. It waited until the time was perfect and then laid down its notes exactly on beat... Power with focus and intent. She could only speculate for the time being.

E'rin had made friends with one who was close friends with Levin. Maybe it was time to contact Idanwyn so she could arrange a proper introduction.

It started as a whisper... E'rin had one friend in her first six summers: the waters that made up two of the borders of her village, the ocean and a river. While everyone else talked, E'rin listened. So distracted was everyone else that they missed the song being sung right beside them. To E'rin, it was a whisper at first. She followed it to where it was strongest. That led her to the water's edge. When she moved to the melody that the waters sang, the waters began to dance with her. It was an easy dance, calm, fluid, but powerful. The dance was clumsy at first, but the relationship quickly grew into a friendship. E'rin would play with her dance partner, chasing it, running from it, feeling the push and pull; The rise and fall of the tide. She heard the song in the rain, listened the rhythm of the waves, and felt the flow of the river. She didn't feel alone as long as she had her friend, Water. E'rin heard the song of the water and the waters heard her through her dance. It was a conversation of sorts... In a way, it was the first conversation the three-year-old'd ever had. The villagers had already thought her odd. But this? The dancing with no partner? They thought her properly touched. It mattered not what they thought. E'rin was happy to finally have a friend. A cycle or two passed and E'rin's friendship with Water deepened. During this time she'd began to notice another voice joining the song. This song was more energetic. It was warm and full of life, like a beating heart. E'rin followed this song and found the source in her home's fireplace. The flames flickered and dance, throwing off their soft glow and warmth. With wide eyes and a curious expression, E'rin neared the flames and sat down before them. They swelled and retreated, breathing in a rhythmic fashion. The voice in the flames reflected its nature. Her tail swayed back and forth behind her as she listened, brushing over the stone floor. She started to bounce her head to the rhythm the flames created, rocking her body side to side. A smile adorned by cute little fangs crept across her face. The flames burned a little bit brighter and danced a little bit more with their new playmate. She'd made a second friend, Fire! The more she practiced her dance with her friends, the more her bond grew and the more nonsensical her movements seemed to those around her. There was no song, no partner, no rhythm that they could hear. To them, she was a girl in her own little world, oblivious to the here and now. In reality, she was connecting with the world around her in a way they couldn't understand. Another voice joined the song a few moons later, forming a chorus. Firm, strong, resolute. The voice of one that would be supportive. E'rin's ears were drawn instead to the earth beneath her. This dance was harder. It took conviction and commitment. E'rin had to concentrate harder on matching her moves to the song Earth sang. Before long she'd won this one over too! The chorus expanded as yet another voice joined in. Weightless, free-spirited, pliable. Wind took to E'rin almost immediately. The miqo'te found the sense of adventure and wanderlust of wind enticing. Light on her feet, E'rin was able to find her harmony with Wind and add a fourth friend to her little circle. Her dancing became more varied and the villagers feared her eccentricities were magnifying with age. A five years of age, they'd assumed it was some odd game from an even more odd girl. The villagers did what people do when encountered with something they don't understand, they avoided it, mocked it, or found frustration in it. E'rin didn't care. Each friend she made only bolstered her happiness. Ice was the final friend she made, but this one was more difficult. Though they would later become good friends, Ice was not easy to come by in La Noscea. It was only because it was a cousin of Water that E'rin got any sort of meeting with Ice in the first place! It was slow going and took far more concentration than the others. This song was

E'rin puts pen to paper in her diary, logging her thoughts from the day's activities. Namely, a beach party. She writes by the light of her carbuncle lamps.

4th Sun of the 5th Astral Moon,

Today I was an interesting day for me. By all measures, it should have left me feeling good. It did for the most part, but there was something else lingering with the enjoyment.

I've felt more aware of my inability to speak as of late. I try not to let it get to me. After all, I've had a lifetime to adjust to this. All in all, I think I've found myself and my place in the world. Despite this, every so often an event will highlight what I lack. I know I shouldn't dwell on it, it does no good to do so. So why am I so focused on it tonight?

E'rin pauses her writing, exhaling a sigh. She leans back and stares at the ceiling as she thinks of how to word her thought. She leans forward and continues to write.

A couple sennights ago I was looking for my friend Lyrient. I sought her out at a social event at her free company's manor. I arrived at the tail end of the event, though. Most of the persons had dispersed prior to my arrival. One patron remained; A blue-haired miqo'te woman. I wrote a note to her asking about the whereabouts of my friend.

She was very nice and seemed patient enough with me taking the time to write. Unfortunately, she could not read and didn't know sign. It happens sometimes. Each time it does I'm left there awkwardly trying to do charades to get my point across. I ended up crudely sketching my friend and she got the gist of it. She guessed who I was asking after and I gave a nod of affirmation when she guessed correctly.

From there, I penned a letter addressed to my friend and then handed it to them. I pointed to the note, then to the sketch of my friend. The blue-haired miqo'te got the intent and did later deliver the message, but I could tell she felt bad about not being able to communicate with me. I felt bad for making her feel bad and making things awkward. It was just bad all around.

Tonight was much more of a general problem. Understanding people has always been somewhat of an uphill battle for me. In groups that problem is magnified. It becomes a difficult task that takes intense focus and a LOT of lipreading. The party was a fairly busy one with many group conversations.

My struggle with understanding people was only half of the problem, maybe less. While I could get most of what was being said by those around me, responding was another matter entirely. When folks know sign language, like Lyrient, it's fairly easy to keep up and participate. When they don't, I'm pretty much reduced to a passive observer. By the time I'm done writing a note the conversation has already moved on. It's that or the topic has changed. Even if I manage to get a message in roughly "on time", any sort of clever interjection or joke I make loses much of its humor.

I feel like I'm always behind the curve. At best it's frustrating, at worst it's extremely isolating. I can't help but feel like they just see me as some curious oddity. Perhaps they think I'm slow or simple. Perhaps they think me shy or absent anything I wish to communicate. Perhaps they think I simply make things awkward. I don't know what they think of me. I do know that they have no idea what I am like behind this wall between us. I feel like I am constantly on the outside looking in and there's nothing that I can do about it.

E'rin pauses her writing and rubs her face. She shakes out her writing hand gets back to it.

I feel unseen and unheard. Proverbially. There's so much I want to contribute and so much I wish to say! Yet I'm stifled. I'd yell if I could. I feel like nothing but a pretty face to anyone who isn't able or doesn't bother to take the time to get to know the real me, the me that is just below the surface.

Is it odd to yearn for something you've never had and never will? I wonder what it would be like to just be able to speak what's on my mind. It's so easy for them to participate. Most seem to take it for granted.

What do I take for granted?

I wonder what my voice would sound like...

E'rin was many things to many people; A wife, a friend, a mentor, a healer, a performer, a confidant. One of the things she was really seen as was dangerous or threatening. Most might think impossible that the miqo'te had a baleful side to her. Those were the people that hadn't seen the fire within E'rin, the compulsion to protect and to take down those that would harm the people she loved.

That side of E'rin was one seldom seen, seldom used, and often deadly to those that evoked such a response. The mild-mannered woman became something else when threatened or being defensive towards those closest to her. A great power lurked beneath the cotton candy exterior.

When called out, the miqo'te changed into a force of nature. Wholesome and welcoming face twisted into rage. The earth shook, fires burned, waters raged, winds howled. Icy spears formed around her, ready to strike a death blow against those threatening her family.

No words were needed when E'rin reached this point. No spoken warnings, no requests to stand down, no "surrender or else". The threat was in the power itself. Menacing, intimidating, the message was clear as day: Cease or be destroyed.