Why Life. Just Why.

“Some ancient call, that I’ve answered before.

It lives in my walls, and it’s under the floor.

If this was meant for me, why does it hurt so much?

And if you’re not made for me, why did we fall in love?”

-Fear of Water, by SYML

@voltronwhumpweek2017

Got inspired for some more langsty lance whump by this song, check it out! ( https://youtu.be/2wbw6-jx6NU )

“Harley-”

“You know,” His voice was soft. Kind. Misleading. Because the most honest part of Harley was always his hands and they were clinching papers to his fist, “Ned once told me I was just like Hamilton.”

A chill ran down Peter’s back.

“He said,” Harley still wasn’t looking at him, “He said that I was someone who worked like I was running out of time, and he joked that I needed to not make the same mistakes he did. But I wasn’t Hamilton, was I?”

He finally glanced at him, eyes brimmed with angry tears, “You were.”

“Harley-”

“No,” He held a gentle hand up, “You don’t get to talk. You genuinely don’t.”

“I’m sor-”

“You wrote me letters when you were in the Avengers Training camp. Remember?”

Peter could only nod, and Harley went on,  "You- you had this funny way of convincing me you loved me just by writing out your feelings. But I’m rereading them.“

“And,” He glanced back at the paper, “Even though you said you were mine- even though you said we were each others, that was a lie. You weren’t mine.”

“You’re paranoid,” Harley looked back up again, “In all of these writings your so paranoid that someone would find out that you were spider-man, that you were marrying the Stark heir, blah blah blah. I didn’t realize how much you liked to talk about yourself.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Harley smiled, that soft little smile that he saved for Peter, and for a second he thought it would be all right. But the most honest part of Harley had always been his hands, and Peter should have realized that as he threw the pages into the flames, “Because I’m burning them. You want to have an affair? Fine. But don’t ever fucking think about coming back to me.”

And Harley walked out of the room, all pride and all hurt and Peter grabbed his wrist, “Harley, princess, please-”

“Do you know what Flash said when you asked me out?”

Peter didn’t know.

“He said, ‘be careful. Parker likes to take and take and take’,” Harley looked at him, “And do you know what he said when he found out that you’d been fucking Black Cat? He said, ‘Jesus fuck Harley, you married Icarus. He finally flew too close to the sun.’”

“Harley-”

He pulled his arm away, looking away again, “I’m leaving you.”

“What?”

“I’m leaving you.”

“Harley-”

“No, Peter,” Harley looked at him, and saw hatred, “You Cheated. I’m leaving.”

“Please-”

“You know what else?” He took a breath and let out a breathy chuckle, “No one gets to know about this. No one needs to know that you broke my heart. No one gets to know how I reacted. That’ll just stay between you and me because guess what?”

Peter didn’t respond, and Harley pulled him close and kissed his cheek, gentle and kind, “I hate you.”

so I did take it and high-key recorded it just in case anything weird happened but the only thing that really feels different is I just feel warm but that’s probably from adrenaline

Probably

Also during my journey on return home with the …thing…I found a random patch of grass… just in a circle, no snow….and it was warm to sit in the spot 😂 y'all this is getting to be a bit much

I want to share a few myths and facts about depression with you. 

Myth: “You’ll get addicted to antidepressants.”

Fact: While you can in theory get addicted to anything (including exercise or sex which we generally won’t discourage people from!), it’s not common to get addicted to antidepressants. You don’t get “high” on antidepressants neither do people who take them start to crave more and more to feel an effect (unlike alcohol or cocaine).

Myth: “Antidepressants will change your personality.”

Fact: They only change those parts of your behavior that are symptoms of depression - and that’s a good thing! They help you be your healthy self again. For outsiders, it may look like someone who for example seemed “shy” to them changes their personality while on antidepressants and that’s because they misinterpreted their social isolation and feelings of emptiness as “shyness” and a personality trait when it was in fact those symptoms of depression.

Myth: “Just get over it.”

Fact: You can’t “just get over” depression, just like you can’t “just get over” any other illness. Depression is not just a mindset or temporary emotion. Depression is a real illness that requires therapy.

Myth: “Depression is just trendy nowadays.”

Fact: It’s true that less people got diagnosed with depression a few decades ago. That’s not because depression didn’t exist back then, it’s because depressed people back then got misdiagnosed or not taken serious! Nowadays doctors are more aware that depression exists and there’s more support available for people with depression.

Myth: “Depression is caused by a traumatic experience.”

Fact: Depression can be caused by a traumatic experience, yes - but that’s not always the case. There’s different types of depression and “depression caused by a traumatic experience” is just one of them. In most cases, there’s no one single reason someone develops depression.

Myth: “Just relax!”

Fact: While relaxation techniques can be part of the recovery program, they can’t be the whole recovery program. Depression is not the same as just feeling a bit stressed! Depression requires medical treatment (psychotherapy and/or antidepressants) - anything else (yoga, exercise, bright light therapy etc.) can only supplement the medical treatment but not replace it.

With all my love, 

hey friend

dont kill yourself tonight ok

you have a really pretty smile and i know its not always easy to manage one but itd be a bummer if we never had the chance to see it ever again