hotter pants

just for the record i would have played wolves with you

If scientists can make a plastic eating bacteria, why can't they make an asphalt eating one as well??

Nobody would even miss I-71 if some bacteria just fucking ate it

online posting is like military combat and im the brave general and you are all the footsoldiers fighting in the tranches

Tranch

Tranch

im sending you both on a mission into enemy territory and i dont expect either of you to return

America be like "you cant have free healthcare or easy access to disability but you can have a gun"

no healing, no living, go KILL

This post was really fucking funny in hindsight

what if a second CEO got got and the bullet casings said "WRONG" "GUY" "LOL"

(through gritted teeth) sometimes what's good for your mental health isn't another do nothing day or a little treat sometimes what's good for you is putting in some of the work. Not all of it at once but sometimes you have to finish that essay or at least take the next step or you have to clean your room or at least dust the shelves or you gotta do the laundry or at least put it all in the hamper and it's not fun and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks but you have to because i read a post on the internet that told me that's what being nice to yourself is sometimes

i think some of you need to eat a slice of cheesecake and listen to ambient rain noises ten hours

c’mon everybody!!! *runs off excitedly and no one follows me*

i can’t die but thank you :) im sure this information will be useful for someone who can

calling in sick to work with realising i've been dead for years