"I'm going to fix you up, but you have to sit still."

the town of green hills wasn't too rowdy when one really thought about it, it was rather peaceful even with the arrival of sonic and his friends, but he was still a deputy and his job did get a bit hectic from time to time.

this particular event was thanks to some neighborhood kids riling up the herd of cattle outside of the town, he had gotten a few nicks on his arms thanks to the barbed wire fence that had been trampled down, but nothing he couldn't handle.

though, it was a surprised to wade when stone had offered to patch him up when he came to get his daily dose of caffeine.

cattle had done this to the man apparently, and he started to picture briefly how funny it might be seeing the sheriff dodging and herding the angered cattle. though he does suppress the laugh he felt rising up from his chest.

& just how much of himself was he willing to give, could he give? could he give parts that stone would help him to understand? julius had always wondered that, how he was supposed to just KNOW things innately when no one ever bothered to teach him, to explain, to show him. to let him feel, not that he felt very often or for very long.

at the reassuring smile, julius gives a small, awkward, brief one in return. like he isn't used to smiling very often, never sincerely. at what is said next, julius blinks, his turn to be caught off guard. oh. right. he supposed they never introduced themselves, did they?

"julius," he steps forward, reaching a hand out and shaking imad's, "it's nice to meet you, imad. er, properly." julius' touch lingers, not wanting to let go of imad's hand. he's probably shaking it for too long. how long did one normally shake another's hand?? julius glanced down, cleared his throat, finally stopped shaking imad's hand after probably 30 seconds, rubbed at the side of his neck again.

he doesn't mind that the handshake went on for longer than was considered polite, figuring julius just might not be used to doing such things and perhaps didn't know the unspoken rules of it. then again maybe he just liked having physical contact, given julius' stone was no longer in the picture.

despite it though stone keeps his smile, feeling a bit happy that the man was willing to open up a bit more, even if it was brief.

⸻ ft. imad stone x julius robotnik ⸻

( "i can't lose you." )

"Right, so, this'll sound far ruder than intended, but do you even have a first name? Or should I just keep calling you Agent Stone, and assume 'Agent' is appropriate should we ever arrive upon a first-name basis?"

The pale young man, who doesn't even clear five feet of height, strikes out a hand that's cold to the touch. There's something rather imperious and aloof about his comportment, as though he's perpetually awaiting some form of disaster, and doesn't want to be blamed.

"Colin Robotnik. The menagerie of anthropomorphic beasties call me 'Snively,' or various middle school playground variants thereof."

then again, he wasn't entirely surprised. the doctor always did like his secrets.

"I have a first name, but I do not feel like divulging it currently. Agent works just fine," stone says as he shakes the man's hand, giving him a firm handshake before letting colin's hand go as he lets his own fall back to his side.

"......i'm," his fingers shift, and he moves to rub a hand along the side of his own neck, not looking at stone as he says this, "i'm sorry you never got to tell ivo," that felt strange to say, "the things you wanted to." he felt jealousy nip in his chest and knew that was irrational and stupid. he barely knew stone after all. & clearly they were both lonely from, everything either of them had gone through. but julius wanted to throw caution to the wind and let himself feel jealous, want stone, want, want⸻ he always wanted but never knew how or if he should sate that wanting. if he had the right to.

what had stone called it? marinating? just marinating, coasting through life, he supposed. doing what he felt he had to. a death without dying.

he exhaled, not sure he had it in him to explain more. there was so much more he felt he wanted to say, it was conflicting. he was scared that if he didn't now, the opportunity might never present itself again. he wondered if that itself was irrational, or maybe stupid, or naive. too emotional, too sensitive. he also couldn't stand the silence. wanted to speak with stone, but didn't know how. was he afraid of judgment? rejection? stone recoiling?

was he scared more, maybe, of stone stepping forward to meet him, and accepting it? what would that mean? to be seen, accepted, wanted not in spite of his ugliness or his horrors or his darkness but because of it.

"I'd like to know you, as much as you feel comfortable telling me. In turn I will tell you about myself, that way it is an even exchange."

⸻ all that did was reaffirm to julius that he was supposed to be the one to be in that position. to be the one leading. to be the one that was meant to be sadistic. or to be the one that was meant to ⸻ what had he said? 'enslave humanity'? not unlike that time julius'd been told he was to lead his squadron despite not wanting to at all and feeling as though james had been better for the job.

if he had the energy in him, he might've gotten angered. but that odd numbness that settled into his heart and mind, sort of felt like a fog. like what little bit of hope he had for that ever happening cracked and slipped away. & julius just, let it.

he knew very well when to pick and choose his battles, and right now his annoyance was not needed nor welcomed.

"....h," voice catches, stuttered breaths, gasped exhale. feeling that squeezing on his shoulder, julius grips at stone's hand so tightly. & yet it's conscious enough at least to ensure he isn't hurting stone while doing so. if julius weren't careful he was more than capable of shattering stone's hand without much thought. "horrible thoughts, or at least i've been told they're horrible. directly, indirectly."

his fingers twitch but still upon feeling stone's skin on the top of his hand. his gaze is darting along the ground as he tries to piece together what it is he wants to say, how to say it. whether or not it'll make sense. whether or not he means it. whether he should. can he?

finally, julius glances upward, meeting stone's face. he pauses, gaze locked with stone's. though that self-conscious, anxiety spiked pit of himself wanted to look away, afraid, he didn't. wouldn't. h-he had to, face this, even if it meant being vulnerable. only with stone,

"i wanted, to give you everything. i thought you deserved a throne. if you'd wanted to kill everyone, then i'd help you with that. not because i get any real joy out of it ⸻ well, maybe a little ⸻ but it'd mostly be by proxy of you. knowing that's what you wanted. ....so long as you're, fulfilled, then i'd be content just to be there."

he trails off, gaze dropping again.

however when the topic changes to him, or rather the stone that belonged to julius' timeline, he felt his heart start to race. how odd it was to hear those words come from his mouth, as if julius were some sort of mindreader and was voicing the thoughts stone had a long, long time ago.

it was the same explanation he would have given to ivo if he were able, but that didn't matter. not anymore, not since...

he meets julius' gaze with a soft one if his own, trying to figure out how to reply.

"I know how you feel. those thoughts that you have. they were the same words I wished I had told to ivo, before he..." he quiets, clearing his throat as he wills the tears away, "before he sacrificed himself. I'm not sure what happened to your stone, but I have a feeling we are in the same situation where we are missing our respective companions."

how? HOW? he didn't know HOW to⸻ what to say⸻ how to explain⸻ if he should⸻ what if he fucked it all up⸻ what if⸻

"i'm here to listen to you and help." a hand on his shoulder. gaze flicks down to stone's hand. stares. julius focuses. exhales unevenly, focusing on his left hand, that feeling of warmth leaving his palm. his fingers twitch, but he moves to lay his palm overtop of stone's on top of his shoulder, eyes closing. inhales, exhales.

"....i can't lose you," the words are weighted: an ache and a sorrow and yet a guilt and regret and self-anger causing them to sound like even the very air from julius' lungs are burning, "i⸻ i can't, control.... s-sometimes, the energy," he falters, shamed, gaze now on the ground between himself and stone. unable to look at stone. not trusting himself to be able to handle whatever expression stone was making or whatever look stone was lobbing his way.

at least he seemed to have an idea on what happened to this robotnik's stone...

he listens to him, his grip on julius' shoulder never faltering. if anything, he gives it a gentle squeeze, a silent affirmation that stone would not judge him for anything he was saying or would say.

or was it just to hold onto him?

he hears the breathing, and does his best to match that rhythm. but then, that feeling, that sensation getting worse in his chest. the breathing helped, for a spell, but- stone would feel julius' palm heating up, warming, as though an element on a stove just beginning to heat and give off a light waft of temperature-

hurriedly, julius let go of stone's wrist, and stepped back from him. the breaths were quicker now, shallow, "n-no, no," it's murmured, to himself? his palms move, cupping and pressing and covering his own face. "enough. stop." that burning would get worse- stone would no doubt smell it; flesh, starting to sear, but julius wasn't moving his hands away from his own face.

he felt like his wrist was on fire, and just as quick as he had looked down julius had rescinded his grip and quickly backed away. what was more odd was the fact stone could have sworn he smelt burning flesh, the scent unmistakable to the former agent.

julius was... burning? mumbling to himself as well. stone doesn't move towards him however, simply choosing to remain where he was and just observe the other for a minute or so before finally speaking.