Can you even imagine being the poor alien sod responsible for auditing an earthling spaceshipâs spending allowance? Like:Â
âI see, and why do you require many tubes of white plant flavoured paste?âÂ
âOh well, if we donât rub that on our teeth twice daily the bacteria living in my mouth will begin to devour me teeth.âÂ
âI have also noticed several large shipments of specific medications, and a variety of individually packaged absorbent material - however injury records do not show sufficient numbers to justify these recurrent deliveries.âÂ
âAh, yeah, itâs not really an injury per say. As part of our natural reproductive cycle approximately half the population will shed the lining of one of their internal organs and expel it.â
ââŚthat is the most horrifying thing that I have ever heard.â
âDoes such a process not hurt?â
âThatâl be what the medicationâs for. Pain killers for the cramps, birth control to stop the process.âÂ
ââŚand your reasoning behind the fully functional, high-tech entertainment system?âÂ
âOkay, that we could probably do without. But in our defence that was actually insisted on as a standard feature of all fleet-ships expected to encounter Terrans. Admiral PloâKaght insisted on it. Something about bored humans and a an illegal betting ring featuring a cleaning robot with a knife strapped to it going up against a human with a mop?âÂ
ââŚI believe I should speak with my superiors.âÂ