slorp

“eldritch horror beyond your comprehension” and it’s just a generic monster with tentacles and eyes

girl I’m comprehending you pretty easily you’re gonna have to try harder than that

in my dnd setting the most eldritch of creatures is an ape that is impossibly wide. Whatever room you're in, this ape is wider than that. Imagine the widest room you can imagine. This ape is wider. It's other proportions remain the same. His name is Wide Ape.

everyone go home we got a winner

"Why didn't they just communicate?? They're so stupid!" Have you considered that communicating with someone you love and value and don't want to hurt is scary and that vulnerability takes practice and that perfect characters with perfect words make the most boring stories of all

hate how they forced bugs bunny into anti-weed propaganda in the 90s, as if bugs bunny wouldn’t love smoking weed 

To be perfectly fair, bugs bunny would also love taking money for starring in anti-weed propaganda and then using said money to buy weed

turns on aim assist and its just a guy pointing at the enemies going "there! there! shoot those guys!"

turns on aim assist and a better gamer materializes in my house to guide my hands like that scene in ghost

not to oversimplify an extremely complex discipline but if i had to pick one tip to give people on how to have more productive interactions with children, especially in an instructive sense, its that teaching a kid well is a lot more like improv than it is like error correction and you should always work on minimizing the amount of ‘no, wrong’ and maximizing the amount of ‘yes, and?’ for example: we have a species of fish at the aquarium that looks a lot like a tiny pufferfish. children are constantly either asking us if that’s what they are, or confidently telling us that’s what they are. if you rush to correct them, you risk completely severing their interest in the situation, because 1. kids don’t like to engage with adults who make them feel bad and 2. they were excited because pufferfish are interesting, and you have not given them any reason to be invested in non-pufferfish. Instead, if you say something like “It looks a LOT like a tiny pufferfish, you’re right. But these guys are even funnier. Wanna know what they’re called?” you have primed them perfectly for the delightful truth of the Pacific Spiny Lumpsucker

I think one of the most important parts about film and tv analysis is never forgetting that no matter the genre or setting, the story is probably being filtered through the perspective of a person who lives in California

Like if you’re watching a tv show and you’re starting to feel alienated by some of the motivations and worldviews the characters all seem to share, consider that you aren’t the weirdo, they are, because they’re being written by people who are at any given moment no more than five minutes removed from a kale smoothie

you are NEVER too old to nestle under a blankie and get so cozy and warm. remember this