This Is Where I Reblog Everything

Introduction

Hi there! This is my first post since revamping my blog to reflect my new outlook, and I’m really excited to introduce myself to the community!

My name is Effie, and I'm a 21 year old student currently studying in Winchester, UK. I plan to use this blog to explore my interest in healthy (and not so healthy) food, books, fitness and just life in general! Recently I've found that writing down my thoughts has really helped me manifest my goals, and so I think putting my thoughts out there in the world might give me the push to actually do something about them.

I’m really looking to make some friends here, so please pop up and say hi!

At 14, I told my guidance counselor that I didn’t want kids. He chuckled, patted me on the back, and informed me that when I got a little older, and I was with a guy, I would change my mind.

At 16, my grandmother nearly had a heart attack because of her three granddaughters, myself and the youngest agreed we didn’t want to uave babies. Ever.

At 17, my father asked about my life plan. I told him: graduate high school, get my college degree, do some traveling and writing, go for this particular job I wanted, retired around X age, take month-long vacations to places I wanted to spend time in, etc. He asked, “What about a husband? Children? Normal things a girl is supposed to think about?” My response- a husband if a man came along that could share an adventure with me, kids were a No Go. He assured me I would ‘grow up’ qnd change my mind.

At 19, I shocked my former babysitter who had known me since I was a toddler, when I confirmed the rumour she’d heard that I didn’t want kids. She patted my mom’s arm and reassured her in a sweet voice that, “Don’t worry, girls say a lot of silly things before they meet the right fella, and wise up. She’ll give you grand babies”

At 22, I was talking to a college professor who chuckled at my making a comment about how, “thank goodness I’m never going to have to worry about juggling child rearing eith marriage, work, and life”, then she realized I was serious. She asked if I was alright, thinking I could-not (not didn’t-want) kids. I told her the truth, could have but didn’t want to. She was aghast, then told me that I’d change my mind when my husband wanted some kids.

Well, I’m over 30, still have absolutely no desire to give birth, adopt, raise, or have much of anything to do with children. I don’t hate children, I don’t think people who have them are crazy (more power to you, to create and/or care for another person), and I don’t think it’s impossible to have a life AND have children. I recognized at an early age that I don’t have that biological imperative to procreate, I don’t have the patience to deal with children (something that has shown very little improvement as I’ve gotten older, in fact it might be getting worse), and I don’t feel my life is incomplete without creating another life- I am good with living my own and doing my best to enrich the lives of those I care about (I try my best to be a good friend, to be a good sister, good daughter, good pet-owner, and a good person in general).

So please, please stop telling girls (or really kids at all, but especially girls) that they will change their minds. Please don’t tell them that meeting ‘the right guy’ will make them suddenly feel broody, that their potential future husband’s desire to have children will make her reconsider and see things his way. For one, a couple should have had that conversation and decided if it was a deal breaker, LONG before they got hitched. For another, it’s her body that gets to grow and birth another human being- her husband’s desire to be a father doesn’t supercede her autonomy.

Please, let girls make their own choices? Girls are forced to mature too fast as it is and are bombarded from all sides with SHOULD (you SHOULD be a size 2, you SHOULD wear this dress, you SHOULD have a boyfriend to be a normal teen, you SHOULD always smile), they don’t need another judgement from someone who hasn’t walked a mile in their particular shoes. Respect teenage girls and their ability to look at the world, themselves, their situation, and their future, and make an important choice.

*gets off soap box, slides it back under the sofa, lets out a sigh*

If your daughter says she doesn’t want kids, if you act all condescending and completely ignore her, that isn’t going to make her more likely to have kids! If she gets older and decides she wants kids, she might be hesitant to actually have kids because she doesn’t want to hear I told you so or because the way you disregard her opinions has permanently tainted the idea of having kids.

But if your daughter says she doesn’t want kids and you say “Okay, sounds good,” she’ll know that she has your support for her future and if she later says “Actually, I do want kids,” she’ll know that you’ll be just as happy and supportive, and therefore more willing and more enthusiastic about the prospect of having kids.

Or maybe she’ll still think “No, I don’t want kids,” but now she won’t resent you for not believing her when she voices her opinions.

Luckily for me I didn’t grow up with adults (not my parents, not my teachers) saying the above kind of bullshit. The few times the topic came up, the worst I got was a, “Oh! Really? Huh.”

I’m so sorry for all of you who’ve had to put up with being treated like you’re a baby factory who just hasn’t realized it yet. - _ -

READ ON AO3

Based off of one of the bulled points on my long list of things I thought about 911, I wrote a short scene where Eddie asks Buck to dance, at Maddie and Chim’s wedding. Idk you might not like it sos I haven’t written for Buddie before but I just really love them.

Words: 1284

Wisteria hung low from the ceiling, creating an intimate space in what was normally a harsh-lit, lino tiled Rec Centre. Buck tried to remember if they’d ever had a call from there, but decided that all community spaces looked too similar for him to differentiate, and if there had been an accident, then there would have probably been some renovating anyway.  

our momentum is slowing down. we can’t let our dashes go back to normal when the world is not normal. so, if you are reading this, you are ~legally~ obligated to choose 2 numbers below; you must complete the task of those two numbers today. don’t pretend you didn’t see this. either do them right now or set a reminder to get it done before the sun goes down. the timer starts now. choose two. 

sign some petitions. LINK HERE. if change.org hasn’t accused you of being a bot yet, you haven’t signed enough. 

watch this youtube video. LINK HERE. do not skip the ads. this is a way to help raise money without having to donate any.

sign up to get daily actions. LINK HERE. after filling out the form, you will receive texts Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays telling you what action to take. (i got this link from @ wp4bl on instagram)

text or call for any of these victims. LINK HERE. this website is extremely helpful, well organized, and practically does all of the work for you.

donate some money. LINK HERE. if you have any more money to spare, please donate it to one of these funds.

follow every single one of these organizations on social media: blcklivesmatter, colorofchange, reclaimtheblock, showingupforracialjustice, and civilrightsorg

post these important sources to your social media. LINK HERE. you have no idea who it might help. 

read this article and forward it to at least one person. LINK HERE. 

watch this video explaining the racial wealth gap. LINK HERE. it’s really informative and only about 15 minutes long.