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in an au where soulmates are an accepted phenomenon, and you only see in black & white until you meet your soulmate, sam winchester was born seeing in color.
he thinks it's just because he's not built for a soulmate, that the weird, ugly, broken thing inside of him exempts him from ever being connected to another human being like that.
he keeps books underneath his mattress, stolen from school libraries and left whenever they leave, of big dramatic soulmate revelations. of people who aren't soulmates but make it work anyway, of two widowed soulmates falling in love. a million soulmates-by-choice stories, where people carve out their own happiness.
he resents the fact that the sky is blue on the day of jessica's funeral, that he's allowed to know it.
in "faith," it's raining and dark and sam is so strung out he doesn't even notice the color leeching out of the world, a slow dial lowering the volume tick-by-tick.
it's not until dean gets dragged to hell, sam screaming no-no-no-no, that the world clicks off color like a light switch. sam crawls over to dean, and hauls him into his arms, and can barely see the blood anymore--soaked into the already-dark wood of the floor.
and sam sobs and sobs and sobs because not only does he have a soulmate--did, past tense--the entire time, but he's alone in it, because sam was hauled back into life and dean didn't mention it once.
in an au where soulmates are an accepted phenomenon, and you only see in black & white until you meet your soulmate, dean winchester can't remember a time when he didn't see in color.
life for him started when he saw baby sammy in his blue, blue, blue blanket in mommy's arms at the hospital. he remembers the fire was red. he remembers mommy's blood was almost black on daddy's ruddy face.
he figures it's probably for the best that he doesn't have a soulmate, since the life is so dangerous and he's seen what losing colors has done to his dad. he loves short flings and sleeping around and pretty girls, and lets them know he's not looking to get attached. it's the best someone like him could hope for, anyway.
until sammy dies in his arms knee-deep in a mud-pit in cold oak. dean thinks the world's ended, because he lifts his hand to see if sammy's bleeding, but it's just black smeared on grey and he doesn't know what's happening.
it's like peering through a veil, staring at his dead soulmate on a bed. for days. when he brings sam back, he almost sobs in relief to see the demon's red eyes. he doesn't tell sam--of course he doesn't--who fucking wants to hear that your evil, fucked up bastard of an older brother has a one-way tie to you? especially 364 days from his ultimate demise? no. dean's not cruel, just selfish.
((the worst thing of it all, though, is when sam jumps into the pit, and dean stares down at the green grass underneath his hands, clenched in his fists until they come away to show rich, brown dirt, where sam lies thousands of miles below. alive. alive. alive. until, presumably, he hits the pit, and dean feels sam die in real time, feels that string snap, and tear ragged, and sam and all of his color is taken from him.))
sam winchester is hilarious because he's like. six foot ten. face that scares demons shitless. hand doesn't shake when he points a gun at you. threatens anyone he needs to in order to get what he wants (usually his brother's safety). intelligent beyond comprehension. could probably fight anything from god herself to the concept of politics to global warming and win if he put his mind to it. but he's also his big brother's entire world and he fucking knows it. so he also grabs dean's coat. whines to get what he wants. makes bitchfaces and participates in prank wars and teases like there's no tomorrow. lets dean step in between him and the danger because standing behind dean doesn't mean he's any less a shield for his brother it just means his brother is a little calmer. he's like one of those giant-ass dogs who could probably kill you with little more than a single bark, yet knows they're the center of their owner's universe and refuses to let that go to waste. you'd better BET they're milking that for all its worth
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one of my all time favorite wincest quotes is agent hendrickson telling dean “i know about sam, too. bonnie to your clyde” clearly calling them out on their incest and dean’s all calm casually saying “yeah that part’s true” he dosen’t even try to fight the brotherfucking allegations
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I'm still in season 1 so I thought... Why not go back and psychotically go over my favorite scenes in every episode? (with gifs!) Yeah... I had a lot of time to waste. This blog has wincest.
This is not an intelligent review, it's not theory crafting, or any sort of meaningful critique. This is just me being enthusiastic about scenes I like and me having fun making gifs!
Overall
Let's say this isn't the best pilot episode. I mean, I liked it, but it doesn't sell the idea of the show in a way that immediately reeled me in. It's certainly fun tho! And god... everyone is so young here, barely recognizable. What I can say is that it presented the dynamic between the Winchesters pretty well, there's still a LOT to develop, also they're not that shippable yet in my opinion.
The scenes:
LITTLE SAMMY! He looks so adorable in this episode. It was almost sad seeing him outside of the whole fucked up family dynamic, like... Boy you could've been (a bit) normal, somehow.
His relationship was so sweet. Let's act like I remember the name of the girl (sorry). It was just a plot device, but I wouldn't have minded seeing more of it. I felt like reading college AUs after this. (if anyone has recs...)
This being the first scene we have of the two is kinda funny. The girls are fighting throughout the whole episode, and I love it. Sam losing so easily is also... interesting.
Sam trying to be independent,, ahh... The part where he said "When I told Dad I was scared of the thing in my closet he gave me a 45" and Dean saying "It was bad but it wasn't that bad." shows the dynamic in a way I like a lot! They're so fucked up... Yes give me more.
"W-well I don't want to, hmph... *blushes*" is the way I read this scene even though I'm totally wrong I'm just having fun mkay? In my head Sam accepted to help just because Dean looked so needy.
You can't say no to that pretty face!
The lil brother will always be the lil brother. He might be almost 2 meters tall but it's his fault he's so adorable.
Breaking News wife and husband can't stand eachother.
Someone add a cat hiss sound effect...
We just had to sprinkle in some mandatory erotic manhandling! I approve this message!
I didn't gif every scene in this part but I really liked the whole "Does she know the real you?" talk Dean gave. Like, she doesn't know you as well as I do.
But also some moe moments to balance things out. (notice how Sam is the bitch)
I specially loved the comedic relief Dean brought to the episode. I swear there are so many quotable lines.
My boobs, ;)
Some more cuteness overload.
Sad puppy noises.
:( (back to being dependent on each other)
Okay, that's all!! I don't know if I will do this for other episodes because it is a lot of work. But I had fun making this!! It's also a good way for me to remember everything given this show is so long, I want to enjoy it slowly. I'm making this mostly for myself.
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