DISAPPOINTED BUT NOT SURPRISED

there’s something about sitting on my bed right now and listening to music at 05h42 that’s so melancholy beautiful and somewhat depressing - maybe because i’m listening to cigarettes after sex (Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby) in the mid light of my beatles lamp. it’s so bittersweet. how time passes. and its never gonna go back, i made a mistake by not writing this work before. but it’s okay, because it is my fault. i remember the feeling of being in some friends room when i was a teen (sometimes i really want to go back to those years- even though they aren’t so far away from me they will never come back) and it was like it is for me now. lonely notebook music. the way the song comes out of the little speakers is somewhat nostalgic. interacting with your own universe in your mind and in your things, creating. i’ve been feeling really down lately. bad about time passing by. scared of losing people and things. everything is changing very fast. i am changing very fast.