Edward Henry Hyde

This pinned posts gets updated over time. Fictive and Co-Host of a larger system.

⋆ Basics about me ⋆

♱ My name is Mr. Hyde, Edward Hyde, or just Edward || He/Him || Male || 20 || Co-Host with Henry Jekyll (Don't tell him I sent you) || System blog link

♱ I'm a fictive of Mr. Hyde from Jekyll & Hyde: The Musical (2001, David Hasslehof) exclusively. There are multiple Hyde's from different sources in our system.

♱ New to tumblr as a whole. Idk what's going on. Don't assume I do.

♱ Misc: Mostly asexual, with very dark kinks || Working on a hobby dedicated to collecting and eventually preserving all known J&H media

⋆ What I Post ⋆

♱ Kink Content - I post a lot of kinks related to darker topics. Death, necro, killing, aquaphilia, drowning, suffocation, hanging, rope, sexual torture, you get the picture. All fantasy

♱ Art - I will post art here once and a while once i feel up to drawing again.

♱ Feelings - Vents, rants, random thoughts. You get it.

⋆ DNI ⋆

♱ MINORS DNI - For the love of god no minors at all. Please do not interact under any circumstances. Look at my headmate's paintings or something

♱ If you don't like the content I post - Block, scroll, whatever you need to move on. This blog is targeted towards a specific demographic, and is a vent blog. I didn't choose what I'm into, and is purely a trauma response. Remember that I'm still a person.

I want to be on-top of her, holding her down with my body weight. I beat her with my cane until she submits and gag her with cloth. I'd straddle her so I could feel the changes in her breath as I held her forearm. I'd grip it tightly and bend it until her precious bones cracked and snapped in two. I want to feel the shivers of pleasure of pressing on the fracture site and hearing the fragments scraping against each other against the backdrop of her muffled cries and begs.

I want to see her tears mix with mud and fight the urge to throw up lest she does and is forced to swallow it back down. I want to hit her hard with the ball of my cane until she is black and blue all over, and slowly loosing consciousness. I'd put my hands around her neck and help her die.

So I was just wondering if you might want to talk about how some "fucked up" art / writing has been meaningful to you? Like either making it yourself or just any art that has influenced you

Dear unspeakableachieves,

I would please me to write about the art that has influence us. Disturbing media is something both I, and my alter-ego seek out for our reasons. I find disturbing media makes me feel something, as i find myself very emotionally blank most of the time. Dr. Jekyll finds disturbing media very intense, and helps him dissociate, or process when the need arises.

Both I, and Jekyll were interested in answering this question, so you'll get a few comments from him in a few entries. I have ordered this as Art that has influences us, Jekyll and Hyde media, and art that we have made.

“Where the dead go to die” by James Creamer

I know this movie is very well known in disturbing movie circles, so I'm going to assume you're familiar with it. We watched this movie very young, and before we really understood who was who in our shared head. Our interpretation of the movie is that its a showcase of when people don't know the difference between love and obsession. I believe because of how shocking it was along with how strangely comforting it is, it causes me to take on more obsessive traits, and Jekyll more loving traits. It all sort of fit into our young minds splitting of us.

"Alfred’s playhouse" by Emily Youcis

This little webseries is seriously one of the most accurate representations of PTSD I have ever encountered. I could go on and on about it, but I know this letter is going to be really long. The ending scene of the first part includes Alfred crying, and the post-man begging for it all to stop, which is exactly what our brain sounds life during flashbacks. The way Emily portrays dissociation during Alfred's flashback looks exactly like ours, the way Alfred processes through fiction, because they're unable to handle reality, is exactly what we are going through. We have never felt so seen by a piece of media in our life. According to Jekyll, it was a vital part to discovering what "having multiple people in our head looks like." I believe this series directly lead to our discovery as a system. The piano from 'Bennie And The Jets' still puts us on edge to this day. He doesn't like that, but I find it rather exciting

"Pokopokopokitan" by PiroPito

This is a video of two young girls slowly loosing their innocence because of sexual abuse in a paper diorama. While I don't feel anything particularly meaningful towards this artwork; However, Jekyll has explained to me before that he finds a sense of recognition and belonging in it. He doesn't want me to go into detail about anything, but essentially he felt he was rotting before, after, and along-side me for years and years, and this artwork helped him figure out those feelings and get better

"How to pick up a blue chair" by Alan Resnick

This is part of his series, but this video specifically really took a toll on us when we first watched it. I remember going blind in our left eye, and throwing up. It was a really sobering experience, and finally set in just how ruined in the head we were. I think when we first watched it, it helped us process a lot of things, and get over a few triggers. It's very hard to remember this one. I have a deep love for it.

Now obviously we have to talk about the elephant in the room that is "Strange case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde." I'm unsure if you would really classify this as "disturbing media," especially when compared to the disturbing things seen in the current landscape, so I wont go into heaps of detail unless asked.

We are primarily fictives of the 2001 version of Jekyll & Hyde: The Broadway Musical, starring David Hasselhoff. We watched it multiple times in a row 6 years ago now, and have only recently picked it up again. This has very obviously shaped us to who we are today, and how we process trauma. In fact, during recent re-watching's, we discovered that we were doing behaviours that are present in the musical that we had totally forgotten about.

I became a holder for dark and perverted thoughts, as Jekyll repressed more and more things he felt shameful. This is very similar to how the dual main character in adaptations are described. As i have watched adaptations of the movies (for pleasure, and to document all J&H material) I have slowly found acceptance in who I am as a person, and found my own moral compass. So has Jekyll, and he has found comfort in seeing different versions of himself suffer the same way he has.

I believe it is impossible for our brain to process things in a real life setting, and has turned to the tragic story of J&H in order to survive and sort itself out. This is the same themes as Alfred's playhouse, and I wonder if we have taken that framework in, and used it for our own healing

Another thing about J&H is this common theme of the horror of never being "whole" again. That has really been haunting our mind lately, so seeing characters with our names process that has been very helpful mentally.

I want to talk a little bit of the art I make, and why/how it makes me feel. I hope this reply isn't too long already.

I cannot remember making anything beyond the last year and a half, but during that time i have been drawing and rendering a LOT of photos of people hanging by rope. I'm not sure why this subject matter has interested me. Every time i have tried to draw something else, I have been unable to finish it out of frustration. Obviously from what i've posted so far on this blog, I have an obsession with necks, and suffocation/drowning, and it likely does stem from that. I do think there is something else that draws me into drawing hanging bodies though. I find a sense of calm or relief as I draw them. It's like feeling the ultimate rest. Even when i draw figures flailing, or crying, I still can't help but feel a sense of calm knowing it will be over for them soon, and they will never have to suffer again.

Currently I've been enjoying posting little fantasies and thoughts. I currently 20~ posts in my drafts, or stories and one-off scenes that I scribble down any time they pop-up in my head. This is the first time I have really embraced any of these feelings, so its very rewarding to see people enjoying what I post. It makes me feel less alone for having such violent and extreme kinks. I also find it very fictive euphoric to both feel free, alive, and shocking, and to annoy Jekyll, as he is disgusted by what I post.

Sincerely,

I want to put my hand on it's chest and feel it's racing heart, feeling how scared it gets as it knows what's about to come. I want to feel it shake and shiver as it gets colder and colder. It doesn't move, it doesn't fight, it's loyal to me, all the way to the end. All of it's fighting instincts crushed to a pulp, all it knows is to follow my command.

I'd throw a ball into the ocean, and tell it to fetch. A quick shove to guide it down into the rough waters. If it's lucky it'll avoid the sharp rocks on the way down.

It would sink, quickly, washed away by the currents, defenseless, blind, bound, taking in water rapidly in fear. It would be freezing and dark. Slowly it's body temperature would fall, and it would feel numb and frostbitten. I'd watch as it's head goes under one last time, and it runs out of breath, finally accepting it's fate, as all sensors are lost. Still thinking of finding the ball, as any good loyal pup would be.