I really would’ve liked if Bella had a special interest in history and fashion and antiques cause like imagine the Cullens don’t get discovered by solely because of Edward but because Bella notices shit about their clothes and how they talk and is like “huh.” And also I think the Cullens forgetting how time works since they’re immortal and don’t sleep is just a funny concept
- she’s like “hey Edward does your family go antiquing” and he’s like “uh no why do you ask” “oh it’s just your sister Rosalie’s broach is from the 1957 spring collection of-”
- “why is your edition of Macbeth from 1911?”
- “does it bother you that your brother Jasper calls it the war of northern aggression like wtf is that”
- “yknow Emmett asked me if Charlie was a soldier in World War II”
- “Alice just asked me if I watch I Love Lucy on the tube? Is she being ironic?”
- “Ever notice how your dad says thou sometimes?” And “When I was at the hospital I saw him cross ‘hysteria’ out of my patient notes”
- “your mom must really like Gibson girl updos, she’s always sporting one at the store”
- “I’m like sixty percent the sweater you’re wearing was dyed using arsenic”