Things you should avoid saying to someone with an ed
[Things you should avoid saying to someone with an ed]
Honestly, you shouldnt say these things to someone whether they have an ed or not, you dont know if someone does unless they tell you and it can be rude to do so in general.
Even as a joke, it's not okay.
- DONT comment about food portions.
Dont say things like "are you going to be able to eat all that?", "that looks like a lot", "save some for x, dont hog it all", "are you sure you have enough?", "do you want some x with your y too?"
- DONT try to tell someone how much they can / cant eat.
Unless the conversation is a debate on whether or not someone can win a food eating contest, it's not okay.
- DONT joke about someone eating habits
- DONT comment on how someone eats.
You can gently remind someone about manners like asking for things to be passed across the table, asking someone to close their mouth while chewing and using a utensil instead of their hands, but dont make comments about how someone eats things a certain way like separating foods on a plate, it might just be their way to get themselves to eat anything at all.
- DONT mention your distaste or preferences over the food they choose to eat.
Unless they ask, dont tell someone the food they're eating is gross to you and you prefer something else. That implies you think they're gross for eating something you don't like.
- DONT order someones food for them unless they ask.
Dont tell the waiter or cashier theyll have the salad instead of the fries or anything of the sort. Let the person you're with eat the food they want on their plate.
- DONT comment on food a person refuses to eat.
If someone leaves behind food on their plate and doesnt like to eat that certain thing, like taking off onions or pickles from their food and setting it aside, dont call them a picky eater and to just "suck it up and eat it." You can offer to eat it yourself if it bothers you that much. Some people, allergies or not, just cant handle certain foods.
Personally I cant eat mushrooms, onions, pineapple or pepperoni, and I set them aside if they're in or on my food. I'm proud of myself for eating what I can and I often give the pieces I took off to my siblings or friends if they ask for it.
- DONT make fun of someone for how they eat.
I've gotten comments about how fast or slow I ate growing up, the way I bite into my food even. My mom called me a little rabbit for how I took such tiny bites, now it's part of the reason I eat small portions so I look like I'm biting into things normally and at an average speed.
- DONT make comments about someones body.
Dont call them thunder thighs, dont joke about weight or how thick or thin parts of someone's body is and ESPECIALLY dont make these comments around or relating to food.
No "you should eat more so you put on weight", no "you should eat less so you lose weight", no "dont eat/drink so much x it's all going to y"
- DONT comment about how someone prepares their food.
Dont snub at someone for putting food in an oven to heat it up, it still counts as cooking because oven or microwave they still cooked it. Doesnt matter if it didnt get started from scratch, not everyone is physically able or has the rescources to make food from scratch.
Dont argue or pick at what ingredients someone adds to their food. Let people enjoy things the way they cook it.
Here are some things you CAN do.
- just dont mention those things at all.
- DO ask if someone would feel more comfortable eating alone or with company
- DO ask what they would like.
Instead of assuming, let them pick.
- DO be aware theres a lot of people out there with different dietary needs/requirements, palettes and restrictions.
Some people have allergies, intolerances, cant be vegan, cant be vegetarian, are vegan or are vegetarian, are celiacs, cant process certain foods or cant handle certain things in general and it helps to be mindful of that, rather than forcing things on them, singling them out or making then feel left out when they cant eat what options there are.
- DO be supportive when they ask things.
If they ask, let them know what they ate was okay, some people need reassurance and encouragement and it's hard to ask, letting them know you're proud they asked and that they ate anything at all can be a big help. Combating insecurities is hard. Creating a safe space for a friend, partner or family member is easy.
Feel free to add on with things you thing people should avoid and/or can do to be more supportive.
Theres a lot of behaviour that needs to be more normalized and behaviours that are normalized and shouldn't be, and spreading awareness about it is a great way to create change in peoples lives even if you dont see it first hand.
Remember to drink water, get your meds, your vitamins, your protein, electrolytes and your iron and keep yourselves cool this summer butterflies! <3
