rock bottom

Eli: I hear your buddy finally made an honest woman out of Dolly Milne! When are you gonna put a ring on Odette, mate? :P

“My, you’re just as charming as ever, aren’t you? And I’m not an idiot, of course I’m going to used recyclable materials. You do remember who my parents are, right?”

“How could I forget? Seems like you only name drop them about every 30 seconds. In fact, that might have been a new record on how long it took you, if I recall correctly.”

Dawn: Do you really think she'd do that? I mean, we weren't together when I slept with Winter so like why would she want to ruin her? This is the most distressing future. I guess it wouldn't exactly concern me because it's not like I'd be invited to Odette's wedding anyways.

Odette: Uh huh. Why'd you buy me at the Auction?

Elinor: That's true, but lots of dumb shit wins awards. Like La La Land did! And other stuff but that's the main example I've got on hand.

Elinor: Not weird at all. She's a ten.

Edgar: Riverdale as well. I had an excess of headlines about it winning awards last week and I can't fathom why, it looks like rubbish.

Dawn: I don't know, dude. Dolly knows though. That's a scary thought, but she hasn't really pestered me about it anymore. We are officially in the honeymoon phase, dude. She is like all up on my dick in a good way. I'm honestly surprised the whole thing worked out this well. BRO DON'T EVEN SAY THAT.

Odette: I don't have anything to talk about. So sorry for wasting your time apparently.

“As far as I know”? Well, as long as we’re on the subject of names, it sounds like you clearly don’t have enough girls screaming yours if you think it’s still up in the air whether or not we’ve been with the same ones. 

Well, I can’t imagine people are exactly going around bragging about bagging you, are they? I’ve been afforded the luxury of being choosier with my hookups. 

Dawn: Yeah, but that's like way not my business. I mean, it is because I slept with her, but it's not my business how they handle it. Or if they ever even do. Well, to her credit I do mess up pretty spectacularly most of the time. Hey, the bachelorette auction isn't a bad idea. I don't know if I'll need you to go into a bidding war with me, though. I'll keep you posted on that one. Do you think other dudes are into Dolly? Side note: Don't ever say something so disgusting me to ever again.

“If you don’t think that this is fun for me, then you’re horribly mistaken.  And of course we need flowers. Flowers as center pieces for the tables that everyone’s sitting at. If you don’t think center pieces are necessary, well then you’re just mad.” 

“I love centerpieces, it makes it easier to tell when people are shifting their chairs so that they can check me out. But you could use recyclable materials in them, I heard sparkly sticks are in this season.”

“Alright, I’ve got the caterer ready to go, the flower arrangements all picked out, and hopefully I can get volunteers to help me put these things out. There’s a volunteer list for the Bachelorette auction, and so I hope to see you sign up!”

“Bloody hell, don’t get so caught up in the details that you forget to have some fun with it. I’m all for organization, but do you really need flowers for this? I thought it was an auction, not an episode of the Bachelorette.”

Odette: Texting me is wasting your time now?

Elinor: Was that what they did? Sounds dumb. On top of a plot that I don't totally get but which already sounds super hard to watch. I'm kinda glad you haven't seen it tbh because then I'd want to. You have good taste.

Elinor: Speaking of Westworld, is it weird if I'm into Dolores?

Edgar: If I ever make the mistake of watching it out of curiosity, I'll be sure not to tell you then. Unless it's astonishingly good, it has won several awards, but I can't imagine what's so great about it.

Don’t think it counts as a rumor anymore when it’s true.