And then there's the jackass, Edgar.

You got it, Ginger. Now go away, and let me get on with my work.

Aye, captain. 

I can get some feathers and shite. An apothecary should have it.

Brilliant. And I’ll get to whittling. Owl me when you’re ready to blow some shite up and change the world?

You’re really bizarre, Ginger.

Ain’t that what makes things interesting?

Look, every man needs his high hobby.

Essentially yes, if we could get it to work, it would have the same effect as spermicide- that is, it would destroy the residue as a spell was cast. The hard bit will be getting the potion right so it does that, but doesn’t destroy your wands. We’re going to need a lot of them- wands, I mean. That is very possibly the hardest part. When you buy a wand, there’s an instant record of it- it won’t go unnoticed.

Fucking hell.

Brilliant, we could have been Prefects together. In that case, just send me the time and the place. 

Ooh, not the head. That’s rough. You have my deepest sympathies and I hope that the nightmares and vivid flashbacks aren’t too regular like.

Only every time I try to sleep. It’s nothing. 

I hope you know I’m playing favoritism for my boys though. 

I’ll take the laughing as a sign I’m not far off.

Like music to my ears. 

I test residue with potions. Different ones, depending on what I’m testing. When I’m inventing those potions, they go through a lot of different stages and changes, mostly because the first initial attempts destroy the residue. Do you see where I am going with this?

I think I’m hanging on. Spermicide. 

Clearly. I don’t know what kind of uproar must be going on at the Ministry right now because of her.

Always an uproar at the Ministry, ain’t there? They’re probably happy to have someone to aim it at this time around. 

You’re damn right it’s going to be. What’s good, McKinnon?

I can do it. It will take some work, but I can do it. But it does stay in my hands- it doesn’t go out of my sight for a minute- a second, even. I treat everyone’s wand. If you have to obliviate me afterwards, whatever, I don’t care. It’s too big for me to hand it over. I might add that this is as much as a personal risk to me as taking names off a report- maybe even more of one, given the magnitude of what this type of technology could do. Whilst you may trust me, there are those in your group who I know do not. I’d like to point out to you that trust should go two ways, and in doing this I am putting my trust not only in you, but in every single one of you, including those who don’t trust me. Every single one of you will know my name, and what it is I have done. I need to be assured that that information is safe in the hands of those who expect me to trust them, but don’t trust me.

You got it, lady. 

I’m fairly sure there is a lack of trust, but it’s nice of you to say otherwise. 

I can’t speak for anyone but myself, but it’s the truth for me. 

Definitely. I mean, okay we’ll have to practice first and you’ll definitely have to ask Mrs Edgar Bones but imagine! Pool noodles can be real weapons, you know. Especially when one is thrust violently and supposedly accidentally into your eye.

I don’t doubt it for a second. I took one to the head once. Was traumatic, I tell you.