Ed’s Tumblr

A “dog person” has a pet dog, a “cat person” has a pet cat. I’m really more of a “people person.”

Had to quit professional boxing because my last contract had an overly broad non-compete clause.

Not wanting to be pessimistic or downbeat, but I can’t see any upside to gravity.

If cakes which aren’t completely baked are called self-saucing, then I must be self-employed.

Apparently we don’t know exactly how the Romans made such long-lasting concrete. Turns out the recipe isn’t set in stone.

Supporting local business is important and the more local the better, which I why I’ve started charging my girlfriend for meals I cook.

No matter how hard I try, I just can’t think of another word for synonym.

If you want to keep an area completely clear of any people, just put it behind a paywall.

The person who invented Morse Code was acting on impulses.

There is a uniformed method for building rooms which are in a roof cavity. It’s very system-attick.

If loose lips sink ships, stop putting lips on them.

In order to make football more easy to play with social distancing, we will invert the number of players with the number of balls.

If you’re not terrified by office stationary, you’ve not considered the proximity between the paper guillotine and the letterheads.

If nothing existed before the Big Bang, then it can’t have been either big or small. As the only bang ever, it would be the yard-stick thereafter. It’s the the first bang.

Unbeknownst to me there are a number of local gardeners in the area who are engaged in a turf war.

Back in the 90s if your boss caught you playing games on your computer, they’d put you in solitaire confinement.

Pencils aren’t great for writing novels. Don’t be fooled by photos, they’re for illustrative purposes only.