charlotte

Sometimes people forget or are uneducated about ADHD, and that it’s not just a struggle with academic environments. 

Sometimes it’s hard to get out of my own head in any situation. While watching a movie I may need to rewind or rewatch the movie multiple times (I sometimes go back 4 times to watch the same movie again in theatres) because my mind drifted. In the middle of conversation, sometimes a word can trigger thoughts, memories, or dreams, which may make me interrupt them or blank out (it can make me seem like I’m not interested in what the person is saying or ignoring them).

It’s hard to deal with the amount of sensory input. I can’t listen to music/movies sometimes on normal settings which absolutely kills the mood for music lovers a lot of the time. I hear everything, literally down to my own breathing and heart beat if it’s quiet enough. I can barely see in the summer because of how bright the sun is and in the wintertime to how badly the sun reflects off the snow that I constantly need to be wearing sunglasses (sometimes inside). I can smell food from across my home with my door closed. Half of the materials clothes are made out of irritate/bother my skin.

It can be extremely hard to handle the overload of emotional stimulation during hyperactive moments. When I need to confront someone because of what they did to me or how they are treating me or just general moments of high stress, I get an adrenaline rush and start to shake (usually this happens because of fear, but with me it’s when anything even remotely becomes suddenly emotionally stimulating). This sometimes leads to panic attacks which are incredibly painful for me, so much so that there is too much internal stimulation on my nerves which makes it feel like I’m being poked by thousands of needles. This overload in emotions makes it particularly difficult for me to romantically like or have interest in anyone because of how intense my emotions get. 

ADHD is associated with a lot of other disorders because of how diverse the symptoms are (anxiety, mood swings, manic, depression, and hyperactivity being the main focus), and I don’t think people really comprehend how annoying it can be to deal with the repercussions. So when someone says they have ADHD, the best thing you can say is, “Let me know if something is too much and I’ll try to tone it down” because that’s all it really comes down to. Some peace of mind.  

fidget in inappropriate places

can’t focus can’t focus can’t focus can’t focus ca

did you ask me to do that?? really?? when????

im sorry i can’t control my volume i get loud sometimes im sorry

“just focus”

why can’t i just be normal

why can’t i be yelled at without crying?

why does every little thing hurt

No you don’t understand I can’t touch That One Thing, it has a Bad Touch Feeling

just once, i would love to not be irritated when something doesn’t work. just once.

please don’t leave me please don’t leave me please don’t leave me ple

“try harder.”

why was I born like this? I didn’t ask for this

I excelled early as a child and now everything’s crashing down around me

You have one (1) mildly critical thing to say? I must sob please excuse me

!!!! too much focus too much focus too mu

I saved this post as a draft to work on after a five minute break but I started this five days ago

too loud too loud too loud too much stimulation too loud

too??? quiet????? where’s the noise????? go back????????

Parents should not be searching through your trash 

Parents should not be snooping on your private social media messages 

Parents should not be taking your bedroom door off