Alaska
last day and i cant go back to my life the way it was before//again//i dream of how it would be to have some other life here//not going to chicago//not being an artist//just hiking the mountains//being in love//being in love with the ice and cold//being in love with the bering straits even tho ill never see them//being in love with Denali even though ill never climb it//being in love with a boy with blue eyes//eyes echoing frozen waterfalls and the sky in winter that pierces//so cold they never even found my teeth//my heart heaves and i reach for anything//i never wanted to feel this way again//i never wanted to have to stand in one place while a man attacks me again//i never wanted to have to say im not afraid of you outloud//and stand there in one place to prove it//i only barely remember life before all that//a life when my body was not the site of violence//back when i loved you//i loved the boy with blue eyes in silence//silence like the frozen sea//silence even though i know all the words for cold//perhaps because i know all the words for cold//i sat in love in silence//but i loved you before i knew such violence//and i still do
