Sic Semper Tyrannis

I upset my friend(?) the other day and I honestly really looked up to them to a lot of stuff, like they were the only person I felt comfortable sharing a lot of my private life like and I kinda just.. ruined it? it was stupid but now they don't like me anymore, and haven't for a while apparently. I managed to push through the urges to hurt myself by sleeping off depression but the last couple days I keep thinking about them and I get so fucking depressed. honestly trying not to cry as I type this out lolll. I worked up the gut to talk to them about what happened and they said they didn't mean it but I can't help but not believe it. It's so fucking pathetic but I miss them so much. I feel disgusting and wrong and stupid. I try to get better I do and it feels like I've been getting better but I just keep making people I care about detest me. I wish I was normal. I wish I was likeable. I wish I wasn't fucking annoying. annoying annoying annoying. that word has been fucking branded into my mind. today I tried talking to them in person at school and they ignored me so I just fucking know they hate me. I hate being a fuck up I hate being a fucking loser. I feel so stupid. I want him to talk to me so bad. I'm so fucking needy and worthless. I wonder what other friends of mine have actually hated me.

Damn I get what my hb was talking about when he said it fucking blowsss when someone disses someone you kin really hard.

I'm so sick of the corpse that I call my "body". I am rotting quietly from playing this character every day, can my parents not smell it? or have they just grown used to the decay that calls itself their 'son'?

What character should I use in my smash tournament tomorrow

heh i have an esports tourny tmrw and i am CRUSHING THEM

Think I'm gonna fast for a few days, how long exactly? Idfk we'll see

Not a hyperfixation but from the crew of TADC I very much kin Kinger for a multitude of reasons that I'm too tired to think about right now, but they're there.

90 degrees with no cloud cover and today's the day my parents decide I get to do all the lawn work. Asked to wait till tomorrow when it will be a nice 65 and nope. Lawnmower has issues and the only solution (because nobody cares about getting a new one/fixing this one) is to go a third as fast. "That means I'll be out here for 3 days straight pretty much" "okay". Same exact response from all 3 adults in my house. My family is filled with people that do not care about my wellbeing if it doesn't Intrinsically affect them. And yet I'm being "dramatic"

This morning walking to school I was thinking to myself "Hey I think I've lost a good chunk of weight", and then I got home and my mom said that I've gotten noticeably skinnier :3