Welcome to the fandoms

also not to be dramatic but they pack public schools full of republican teachers that shove capitalist propaganda down our throats but most of us don’t turn out conservative

and I start the consultation already miserable as fuck and I give the kid some pen and paper so I can maybe communicate and see what's on his mind

and then I go WAIT A GODDAMN SECOND I KNOW THOSE MONSTERS

the mom looked at me as if her son and I belonged at the same satanic cult and that's why I knew the names of the demons in his head

so they decided to highkey just appoint all of them to my day and it took me almost a month to realize that the fact that I kept arriving and finding that all of today’s appointments were autistic children was Not A Coincidence 

anyway this one time there was a kid who was really into christianity but it was like, specifically angels 

so I’m trying to start up a conversation with him and I ask what he’s reading and he goes “do you know what a nephilim is”

and like for one hellish second my soul is suckerpunched out of my body and thrown straight into supernatural-fanfic-on-wattpad hell, and then I reassume control of my flesh prison, ignoring the mental edits of Dean and Castiel making out, and go “Aren’t those the guys who are half human and half angel?”

and the kid was so fucking happy but the mom was staring at me like ‘why are you privy to this bit of occult jesus lore’

and my heathen lesbian of a self just looks at her and goes 

Jack: But Lucifer isn’t really my father in any other way except by blood

Counselor: TwO yEArS?!?!!!!

Jack: M-hm. And that’s Rowena. She’s somewhat my weird aunt and no-one knows when she became part of the family. I love her very much. She’s also the only witch in our family.

Counselor: wHAT?!!

Jack: Yes, isn’t that cool? So, Sam, Dean, Bobby and Mary are human. They hunt monsters like vampires and werewolves. Uncle Crowley is a demon and King of Hell and my dad Castiel is an angel of the lord, which is Chuck over there. Lucifer is also an angel, although many people think the devil is just a demon lord.

pees

checks fridge

drinks water

*looks at clock*

“i still have plenty of time”

scrolls tumblr

opens youtube for relaxing music-

then finding myself watching cute cats and dogs

opens new tab to finally start homework but instead types tumblr.com

“i need a 15 min break i deserve this”

*30 mins after, still scrolling through my dash*

*staring at the wall trying to find the answers

but ends up thinking what i’ll eat next*

*looks around trying to find someone to blame for my life*

*does something irrelevant*

“im so tired!!!“

*sleeps*

*wakes to pee*

*looks at clock*

It’s so weird–  thanks for shooting someone– but thanks. 

It’s part of the job. 

Not really. But I know what you mean.

It’s actually my first day back, so…

Me, scrolling down a bit, doing a comical spit take: