Windmills of my Mind

Logan settles well enough with Wade and Al and the dog he doesn't want anything to do with. He doesn't stab Wade at every bad joke, and actually seems to enjoy his company rather than enduring it: he quips back! He spends most of his time hanging out with Wade! He let's Wade hang off him! It's glorious!

On that note; he also doesn't seem to mind sharing Wade's bed - even though, after the first exhausted night, they could totally make other arrangements...

Maybe it's just easier?

Maybe Logan actually doesn't mind Wade?! (YAY?)

Anyway, Logan settles, and makes himself useful by helping to tidy the chaos Wade leaves about the apartment so Al doesn't fall and break a hip, and cooks for them all so Al doesn't die of food poisoning or scurvy. He even walks Mary with Wade sometimes, because being in the apartment all the time is a little claustrophobic. And also, he's got to get to know his new...territory, a bit.

But he is just as happy (he is surprised to feel!) lazing about and letting Wade show him the Way of His New World. He gets introduced to films and TV and music he'd never heard of nor would have ever listened to without Wade's influence, and it's not...all bad. Some of it's sorta catchy...!

It's nice when Wade listens to his opinions and snippets of stories too. He hasn't had many people listen to him in a long while...

When Wade's friends throw him Birthday Party Take Two, Logan partakes, and makes surprisingly easy/charming small talk with Peter and Dopinder and Collosus, and smiles, and Wade finds himself turning back from Vanessa to look at Logan, instead.

Goddamn, he's smitten.

He's got The Best Wolverine living with him! And it's not actually a dream! He's shot himself ala Inception just to check!

It's all going well - Logan can't get a job, what with not really existing - but Wade dives into his limited savings and sells a gun or two and covers the costs of food and new clothes - because Logan does occasionally look a little uncomfortable stretching out Wade's Hello Kitty shirts, and Wade just wants the best for his new...roommate. He can't help dressing Logan up like Origins Logan though, because God Damn!

Because of the lack of funds, Logan doesn't drink all that much. He isn't quite desperate enough to steal bottles off the shelf, and he can't pay for it himself. But that's fine, because he's used whisky as a bit of a crutch, and now he...finds he needs to lean on it less.

Things are good.

But he knows it can't last. That's not how his life goes. It's inevitable. A cycle.

For a few weeks, Apartment 17 is banter and easy living despite how cramped it's become, and as they move into December Wade decorates excessively for Christmas and plays cliche songs at all hours, and then, as the moon grows bigger and brighter...Logan's past and his nature come back to haunt him.

He's a monster with a temper and a lust for blood and he ruins everything. A new start in a new universe won't erase that fact. Just gives him a new opportunity to fuck up...!

After a nightmare and burying his claws in Wade's guts, Logan is spooked.

He can't stand to stay in the apartment, and he's snappy and reactive with the full moon looming close, so he takes Wade's credit card and goes drinking for the first time since being in this universe. Tries to drown himself - drown the beast poisoning his blood - like the good old times.

But it doesn't make him feel any better, nor does it make the agitated, twitchy feeling go away, and he drags himself back to the apartment guiltily because he's got nowhere else to go (rather, since living in domesticity again after so many years, he can't bare to be alone...).

(The beast craves companionship, is the thing. But if Logan stays, he'll hurt them!)

So he tires his best to act normal when he knows he is anything but - the writhing beast itching under his skin and making his joints ache and his blood lust rise, and he can't be here when he turns tomorrow night...!

So he leaves again the next evening - it's for the best (he shouldn't stay at all! He shouldn't put Wade and Althea in this position of such danger!)

He sheds his skin to wear his fur, and hides out in the dog park they'd walked Mary to so many times by now. Close enough to be on his home turf, but far enough away that he doesn't giving into the temptation to run back to his new pack.

Might hurt them!

But need to be with them!

His mind is a chaos of conflicting wants, and he howls pathetically (and angrily) about it.

When he slinks back the next morning, Wade looks tired and smells of sadness and worry and guilt, and Logan wants to whine but manages not to. Mary is overjoyed that he's returned, because for some reason she loves Logan even if he tries to dissuade her.

It's...tense, for a day or two. But then the pull of the moon wanes and Logan can relax again.

Until the next Full Moon...

***************

So, this fic is going to be all pining and Logan being hot and cold because he's got to be, and Wade being all confused and sad and angry at him for it.

But he's also smart. He figures out the pattern!

Can't quite believe it, but he's seen so many variants now; why the fuck can't the Wolverine actually be the Werewolferine?! :D