( .ooc ) re-reading stuff here and aaaa i miss writing this chara :')
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@eastsolis02
( .ooc ) re-reading stuff here and aaaa i miss writing this chara :')

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Onew | Dice | Teaser Images 1 ā”
22/ā of favourite jinki's fancams
āŖ || @95sonnaeā
Ā Ā Dongsun had seen that face so many times before, he couldnāt understand her intention of using her hair to obscure her visage. Nonetheless, he could distinguish differences between the past and the present. One thing was for sure, her brighter demeanor was such a breath of fresh air, a beautiful scenery he was more than happy to see for himself. It might be why she felt this way towards him until now. Even he wasnāt one to deny the complicated feelings with the kind of relationship they had before.
Ā Ā At the display of her uncharacteristic politeness, he couldnāt help but let out an amused chortle. Still, he bowed his head in a polite manner in return.Ā
Ā Ā āAhh. When did I stop looking handsome for you~? Shame.ā he jested as her manners back in the day were more... straightforward and emotional. āItās an understatement to say that itās been a while. You still look as surprised as ever whenever we meet, though. Am I that scary now?ā

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OnewĀ ā§ Allure KoreaĀ
SHINee [ Donāt Call Me ] Onew
@celestiialmechanicsĀ·Ā·:
kibum chortled when his words were met with dongsunās quiet defeat admission. these waters they were testing were new. it was a talk about the past, yes, but they were living in the present. they werenāt fighting anymore, werenāt in the business of denial either. it was like giving a taste to a new path of what they could be if they stopped clashing like they often did.Ā Ā
ā like hell i will delete milk chocolate, ā he smiled, no spite nor teasing visible in his expression. he was content. it was the kind of ease that came after a heavy run, like finding the rays of light after a long walk in the dark.Ā ā i will treasure that one until my dying day and you canāt do anything about it. ā and this last remark was childish, but still in good-nature.
he took a few steps closer until he was right in front of the younger male. lips twitched as he observed dongsun for a good moment. like always, something delicate unfolded inside him and filled him with warmth at the vision. hands reached up to cup his face between them and while he did lean in, he didnāt force a kiss onto him. instead, he dedicated this space in time to watch him without tension or fights clouding his judgment.Ā
he could see the contours that had changed across the years. could see the little lines forming in places that spoke so much about him like the way he laughed, the stress and hardships he had gone through in the past twelve years, how often he smiled and furrowed his brow. his thumb brushed dongsunās cheek and he dedicated him an eye-smile, tender and adoring.
ā will you sing for me then? ā he asked, not letting go of his just yet.Ā ā or do i have to ask with a please followed by a kiss? ā he was teasing the elder now, but it held no malice like it often did whenever he wanted to rile him up with frustration. this was playful, flirty even. he was also closing the distance.Ā ā though you know how much i adore to kiss you. āĀ
this was new, kibum thought again as brown eyes flicked from dongsunās gaze to his lips. his heart was calm, nervous with anticipation, but it was not ringing in his ears like it did when they were at each otherās throats. it wasnāt the shy love that bloomed that spring when they were teenagers, no. this felt like flutters honeyed with a subtle charm he couldnāt quite describe. he gave dongsun one last tiny smile before he pressed his lips against his in a light contact. dongsunās lips were cold against his and everything was like a mixture of past and present.Ā
a future.Ā
Ā Ā While Dongsun wanted to say that sending that stupid love-fueled song was the biggest mistake of his life, he also felt relief that he no longer had to hide its existence anymore. After so long, the recipient of the song to whom the song was written for somehow got to listen to it for himself. After everything that went down between them in the past, he was so sure there was no way he would let his former flame listen to it. But then, he never deleted it that resulted in a unique Valentineās for the both of them.
Ā Ā āI figured as much.ā He let out a breath. For the first time, there wasnāt annoyance to the manās voice at all. He felt⦠relaxed, at ease even. āThe least you can do is never let anyone else hear this teenagerās obsession with some guy back in high school.ā He furrowed his eyebrows, glaring in a playful manner to the person in question. Whenever Dongsun looked back at how much he used to love the male before him, it made him feel embarrassed for himself. However, it was impossible to deny that he never loved him. Even a young fool like him during those days knew he did love Kiha with all his heart before.Ā
Ā Ā His body twitched in impulse when the older male cupped his cheeks. A familiar yet surprising gesture for the likes of the touch-deprived producer⦠at least, until Kiha became shameless in his own advances. He had no idea what the silence was for, which was unlike the other. Nonetheless, it still made Dongsunās heart race as it always did, something that never changed even after more than a decade of absence and separation. The heart wants what the heart wants, he thought absentmindedly. A thought that came from out of nowhere, something he didnāt expect to experience in a romantic holiday of all days.
Ā Ā What happened to his so-called allergy towards anything romantic? By now, he would have pushed Kihaās hand away. He already got what he wanted from this day, so why did he push it again? What got him so compelled every time to act out his urges to do something like kiss the living lights out of poor defenseless Dongsun? It was like he wanted Dongsun to let him know that if he made him stop, then all of this would be gone-- and for good this time. And for some reason, Dongsun didnāt want him to stop.
Ā Ā He let out a defeated sigh, glancing away. āUgh, whatever. Letās just get it over with.ā This gentler side of the other male⦠It affected him in a different way, like he was weaker to resist at this side of Kiha. Dongsun hated that he still had a soft spot for the man after all this time. He was supposed to be bitter and jaded, damn it! Was this his age shining through? Or was he just an idiot for letting things be the way they were now?Ā
Ā Ā The kiss felt⦠strange, but not in a way he wanted to push him away. It was reminiscent, it embodied Milk Chocolateās message back in the day; how the kisses tasted so sweet, how he felt like he would melt from the warm embrace, how he felt like it gave him a shot of energy he didnāt know he needed. And most of all, how sweetest the thought was that the person he kissed was the person he loved the most, who loved him too.
celestiialmechanicsā:
Ā Ā ā ā does it? ā taeil grinned, proud of the fact the elder had noticed so much with a small glance. to the young dancer, it meant dongsun was paying a lot of attention to him and that itself was rewarding enough.Ā ā i had a practice for an upcoming show and i was running late so i ran as to not make you wait. yet, you still beat me to it and arrived way earlier, ā he ducked his head for a second.Ā ā were you nearby? or perhaps this is one of those rare breaks you take now and then from the office? ā
Ā Ā if taeil hadnāt been so intent on his observation of the elderās features, he would have missed the rising of eyebrows behind all too big sunglasses. in spite of his mischievous nature and a natural magnetism for trouble, taeil had always been a bad liar. dark brown eyes flicked down avoiding dongsunās face as he passed him the letter. technically, hiding a fact was not a lie, but he was going beyond that when it came to this matter. taeil had come up with a whole biography for an alter-ego that didnāt quite exist ā all to avoid questions he couldnāt bring himself to answer to yet.
Ā Ā ā a fluffy feeling? ā taeil repeated, fingers lacing together as he propped both elbows on the table to look at the other properly. he mused what dongsun would think if he knew taeilās source of fluffy inspiration was him, jaded and bitter but still possessor of the sweetest smile taeil had ever seen. ā so you would say it shows it is a juvenile song? ā he tilted his head.Ā ā i have a hard time thinking you are not strong at something when it comes to music, but i think i understand what you are saying. i will pass him the message, he will be happy with it. ā
Ā Ā the small pause was filled by a waiterās presence. taeil orderedĀ a soda and a huge grilled sandwich. as they waited, he continued to look at his elder without repair.Ā ā you mentioned fluffy things arenāt your preference so,Ā ā taeil held his hand out as if he had a microphone in it. ā what would lee dongsun, important music producer of the last decade, say about his personal preferences when it comes to music? ā a cheeky grin was adorning young features and eyes were bright with both badly concealed interest and his own sense of fun.Ā ā could the mysterious and charismatic man behind the sunglasses give his fans an exclusive insight of his heartās current status? āĀ
Ā Ā āIf itās something related to your job, then I could wait even hours. Itās not like Iād go anywhere else, because your work is an understandable reason. Besides, new scenery can be refreshing even if the music studio is my ultimate mistress.ā If Dongsun stayed outside for a while, it meant his time indoors would increase twofold. He would go through the cycle of regret and frustration that he āwasted timeā when he could have worked on music; a toxic work habit that he couldnāt seem to change even if he was aware of it. āI wish I could say that this is a break, but Iām just trying to find inspiration for some new songs. Indoors arenāt cutting it out for me this time around.ā
  One would say this was an excuse just for him to go outside, but Dongsun never lied when it came to his job. He thought of himself as a songwriting machine first, then human second. He was surprised that he still managed to make some connections who seemed interested enough with him despite his demeanor. In fact, someone like Taeil was in every way the opposite of Dongsun. The man was active, bright, straightforward, playful, adorned with youth⦠It was almost like a reflection of what the music producer used to be once upon a time.
Ā Ā Speaking of youth⦠His eyebrows raised at the comment of it as a juvenile kind of song. āWell, the magic of songs is that it can appeal to all ages. It has no actual demographic, even if technically a song produced is after a certain age group. But we see lots of other people of other ages listening to some songs, right? So I think a song like this can be considered juvenile for someone who is going through something like crushes, puppy love, or how they call that kind of infatuation.ā He gave a nod as the other mentioned he would pass the message. Still, he found it strange that this friend of Taeilās wouldnāt just approach the producer himself instead. He was more than welcome to help out aspiring songwriters. āSince you put it that way, it makes me assume that your friend is in the same age group as you.āĀ
Ā Ā After Taeil gave his order, Dongsun listed coffee and burger for his own order. Afterwards, the sudden question and motion of Taeilās hand as if he held a microphone made the older male raise his eyebrow in an incredulous manner. āNice try with the flattery,ā he chuckled, crossing his arms against his chest. āMy favorite music, while not fluffy, wellā¦ā There was one song that always crossed his mind, one of his greatest inspirations to this day. āHave you heard of āPlay The Gameā by Queen? While it is a love song, it definitely isnāt āfluffy.ā Itās a power ballad, and the apex expression of romance⦠for me, at least. It is that song that if it was a person, I feel like I would fall in love again. Something like that. But for those āfansā, heart is closed off-- hopefully for good.ā A pause. āBut aside from that, I like anything thatās funky, groovy, if it is not very profound or meaningful.ā He tilted his head. āWhat made you curious about it all of a sudden? For your friend again?ā
LEE JINKI MARRY YOU

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āĀ Ā taeil looked at the elder man, blond hair in disarray and sunglasses swallowing the little light left of an already cloudy day. the younger paid it no mind and instead slid on the seat before him, this same sunny smile touching a heart-shaped face.Ā ā hi hyung, ā he greeted, little drops of sweat gathering at the sides of his temples. he had run all the way to this coffee shop after dance practice and it showed.Ā ā as promised, hereās the new lyrics for a new song my friend has been working on. ā
Ā Ā the youngest took a yellow envelope from his backpack and passed it to the music producer. he laced his fingers together as he drank in the sight before him: the cute curve of dongsunās cheeks and the beautiful shape of his lips. he was pale ātaeil was sure the eldest barely saw the light these days. it wasnāt correct of him to pretend these lyrics did not belong to him, but taeil wasnāt ready to disclose something so close to his heart not even to the reason why he kept writing these verses.Ā
Ā Ā still,Ā taeil was eager to know the otherās opinion. every time, a good part of himself wondered if dongsun had the slightest idea of who was the person on the other side of this sheet āif he had ever imagined he was the reason behind a handful of songs written. these clandestine meetings belonged to a sacred space taeil treasured with everything he had and every time, he feared the spark in his eyes was far too evident.Ā
Ā Ā ā so? what do you think? should i go to congratulate him for doing a good job? ā
with dongsun ( @eastsolis ) .
Ā Ā As much as Dongsun loved being cooped inside the confines of the studio, the indoors lost its inspirational spark. Going outside wasnāt as routine unless it was another night of drinking. This time, he was drinking, except it was coffee. But because this trick didnāt work either, so the producer was more or less in a sour mood. Since he wore his trademark sunglasses, no one could tell the annoyance on his visage. He didnāt want to cause a disturbance inside the premises, so his two fingers tapped his cheek instead.
Ā Ā Staring into the distance, he ended up spacing out. He either watched strangers passing by or the trees swaying along with the breeze. Nothing rattled him until he sensed someone invading his self-loathing bubble. Thanks to his sunglasses, Taeil wouldnāt notice that single curious glance from Dongsun. Upon confirmation of the identity, he leaned back in his seat and gave a nod in greeting.
Ā Ā āYou looked like you had quite the workout.ā Something he would never relate to in this lifetime. For the first time that day, Dongsunās eyes raised his eyebrows in interest. Another song for me to look at? Why is this person letting Taeil send it to me when they can personally talk to me about it instead? He thought that this so-called songwriter liked to take up a lot of Taeilās time. Dongsun didnāt want to reject any form of inspiration or reference, though. Thus, he took out the sheet of paper from the envelope and scanned the lyrics.Ā
Ā Ā āTo give credit where itās due, the lyrics have this consistent theme to them. Like, I write some love songs myself, but this really has the fluffy feeling to it? At least, thatās how I see it. Itās like your friend is inspired by someone they like.ā A pause. āNot that itās any of my business.ā He let out a breath. āFluffy things arenāt my forte and not exactly my preference, but for what it is, itās pretty good. Some parts could use some work on the editing floor once he can come up with a tune for it.ā He then placed down the piece of paper and slid it towards Taeil. āDoes that make sense?ā
ā Ā iĀ Ā justĀ Ā wantĀ Ā toĀ Ā loveĀ Ā you,Ā Ā letĀ Ā meĀ Ā loveĀ Ā you. Ā ā ( past )
dongsunās caramel eyes are clear as they look at him. the eagerness of his soul, a reckless youth, the selfness of this love,Ā all attributes to see in the shape of that determined expression unfolding across beloved features. kibum feels tempted to reach out and bring the younger male into his arms, nuzzle his ear and bask in the myriad of affections that come and go, striking him with the brilliance and speed of shooting stars āexcept these ones donāt part into infinity until they are invisible; no. they stay, smashed into his ribcage, burning andĀ burning.
ā love me? ā he asks, the tenderness of his voice coated with a note of condescension. he doesnāt carry on with the claim of his heart. instead, fingertips trace the fine line of precious features, follow the line of a smooth, rounded cheek.Ā ā i donāt understand you. āĀ
defined eyebrows furrow as he stares. the thud of his heart, the pace of these feelings, all of it is a free fall into the unknown and kibum does not care. dongsun stays at the bottom, blurred from the distance, and yet the elder would recognize him anywhere. kibum understands all too well that his heart had no chance from the start āthat meeting lee dongsun was the final step into a sealed fate made long before he was born. kibum loves him, no in between. but he canāt understand why the light of that precious smile would find him a treasure too.
kibum, with his divorced parents and a lonely house. kibum, a handsome face and no interest in socialization. kibum, with his seventeen years and chaos fluttering around a cynical mind with a taste for absurd poetry and all too complex accords. lee dongsun is the light and he opens every door and every window and kibum is forced to see what heās lacking and the abyss that grows between the two of them when they stand in front of each other like this.Ā
kibum, with seventeen years and a twisted view of love.
ā stop being cute ā he murmurs, delicate as he tucks those black strands of hair behind a warm, reddened ear. dongsunās hands are curled into fists and his brows show his anguish āthis need to convey what he feels. but he doesnāt understand that by offering up his heart like this means kibum will never be able to let him go. that if ages pass and dongsun finds out who he really is, kibum will still not let him go.
kibum leans in a few inches, the upper side of his body bending enough so he can look straight into clear whiskey eyes. he smiles, two fingers taking that small chin and dipping it up. it is a lonely house. it is a lonely life. it is an empty classroom and dongsunās certainty burns and burns and burns. ā i canāt help myself when you look like this. ā
lips glide over one another with practiced ease. kibum presses dongsun into the wall, takes a hold of smaller hands and places them above his head, pinned against the wall. they have learned each otherās body language, that a buck of hips translates into a pressing need, that the little sighs that escape trembling lips are an exhalation of want for things that go beyond what they can touch and taste and see.Ā
dongsunās words repeat inside his head nonstop. kibumās heart tickles. affections run and run. they burn.
( .ooc ) past & present dongsun // picrew link
@eastsolisāā inspired: ⤠| five times my muse says they donāt love yours, and the one time they admit it.
i.
dongsun is sixteen. his eyes are the color of caramel, catching the sun in them and reflecting it through sparks kibum can see dancing in a wide smile as cheeks burn with crimson. they are in the music room, immersed in the lyrics of a song that has been repeating in their heads for a while. dongsun starts humming, the melody clear as his voice and kibum is assaulted by a sense of belonging that shakes him to the core.
ā i donāt think i love you yet, ā kibum sings, the lyrics a resounding lie he canāt admit to just yet.
ii.
years later, when kibum is in college, there is a photograph buried between sheets with lyrics he doesnāt want to look at ever again. he canāt get rid of them. whenever he tries, he looks at them and re-lives this torture of remembering the person who caught his heart in a fist and let go without a second glance.
fingers have scrunched this paper in his hands countless times. fingers and tears have smeared the ink and the graphite of these lyrics, but even if they are blurred, even if the words are not legible anymore, he still remembers them in his head. they spark the same feelings they did four years ago, they are the prison he canāt get out from no matter how much he tries to.
he looks at this photo, the same one dongsun wanted of them out of a whim, and he curses his name openly. the photoās edges are ruined, frayed beyond repair. and yet they donāt reach the most important parts: those that captured dongsunās smile as kibum hugged him from behind. kibum falls back on his bed, one arm over his eyes, covering him from the world. this cannot be love. love is not supposed to hurt like this.
iii.
ā you think what i felt back then was love? ā kibum spats, cruel, vicious as he glowers at the shorter producer.Ā ā you think i could have fallen for a sixteen-year old idiot who always fell on his face? and here i thought i had heard it all. ā
but he did. he fell for that boy who always lost his balance and ended in his arms, looking up at him with a blush and eyes filled with love. he fell for that boy who whispered his name when he was overwhelmed because kibum got him inebriated with sensations as they made love.
iv.
itās loneliness the curse that follows every time dongsun steps away from him, decided on ignoring him and not fall for his cruelty anymore. kibum has come to realize he still doesnāt have much when you take dongsun out of the equation. it canāt be love, because love is supposed to be good, love is supposed to give you peace.
all he gets when dongsun is in the room is a heart beating too loud for him to listen to anything else. hands that get clammy, itching with this want to snatch dongsun away from the world and claim him for himself. a voice that gets stuck in the middle of his throat. words about to burst into a series of profanities of denial that he feels, feels taking root inside this broken and hungry heart of his. it canāt be love.
v.
spring passes too fast, the smell of cherry blossoms lost as the flowers of summer acquire intense shades and hues of red and green. dongsun blooms in summer too, the pale skin glowing as sunlight kisses his frame from the window. kibum watches him from their departmentās door, papers in hand and most of the staff gone as their schedule gets busy again with the preparations of winter albums and next yearās albums.
in many ways, dongsun is still that sixteen-year-old boy kibum met 12 years ago. itās like his talent and his looks went through lens that honeyed his skills and his beauty, sharpening him, making him even more resplendent than he already was. it canāt be love to want someone when all you have is a heart bruised by memories.
solidity.
dongsun is hiding his face under a pillow and heās adamant of not letting kibum take it from his fingers especially when the latter is laughing like this.Ā ā noā! ā dongsun exclaims, face hiding now in his hands once kibum manages to take the pillow and toss it elsewhere.
kibum presses kisses over his shoulders and neck, the chuckles soft and tickling against dongsunās ear. ā you are too cute, ā he murmurs, Iove in his voice. itās the first sunday of a life together. kibum still feels his heart swollen with too much, threatening to burst at any moment with the feelings sparked by this man of soft features and equally soft voice. he cups dongsunās face, hand tender in this caress that is also a plea for the younger man to let kibum see him.Ā
sunlight spills inside through the light curtains of his room and as soon as dongsun recedes in his embarrassment, his eyes catch it again and shine.Ā ā i love you. āĀ
what is your love language?
Your Result: Fern
Key words: intellectual, humour, best friends.Ā
You feel like you 'click' with everybody you love and get along in an intrinsic way. You would never give somebody your heart if you felt like you couldn't talk with them about anything.Ā
You show your love by making playlists, sending late-night memes or remembering their coffee order and why they like it. The one you love is always on your mind, and you're never happier than hearing that somebody you love has been thinking about you.Ā
Best matched with: Cerulean, Canary, Lavender
Tagged by: @l0vedheart ( thank you! )

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M U N D A Y Ā S T U F F
APPEARANCE
I am over/under 5ā5ā / I wear glasses/contacts / I have brown hair / I wear sweatshirts a lot / I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing / I have one or more piercings / I have at least one tattoo / I have brown eyes / I have dyed or highlighted my hair / I have gotten plastic surgery / I have or had braces / I sunburn easily / I have freckles / I paint my nails / I typically wear makeup / I donāt often smile / I am pleased with how I look / I prefer Nike to Adidas / I wear baseball hats backwards / I prefer vintage to modern clothing / I wear certain articles of jewelry every day
HOBBIES AND TALENTS
I play a sport / I can play an instrument / I am artistic / I know more than one language / I have won a trophy in some sort of competition / I can cook or bake without a recipe / I know how to swim / I enjoy writing / I can do origami / I prefer movies to TV shows / I can execute a perfect somersault / I enjoy singing / I could survive in the wild on my own / I have read a new book series this year / I enjoy spending time with friends / I travel during school or work breaks / I can do a handstand / I know CPR and first-aid
EXPERIENCES
I have had my first kiss / I have gotten drunk / I have told a crush I like them / I have traveled outside of the country / I have flown on an airplane / I have stayed awake for more than 48 hours / I have had a near-death experience / I have caught something on fire / I have performed in a talent show / I have shot a gun / I have been on TV / I have gone scuba diving / I have broken a bone / I have slow-danced / I have gone on a shopping spree
RELATIONSHIPS
I have a crush / I have a best friend / I have known a friend for over ten years / I have a brother / I have a sister / I am the youngest child / I am the eldest child / I have dated my best friend / I am adopted / My crush has confessed to me / I have had a long-distance relationship / I am an only child / I give advice to my friends / I have made an online friend / I met up with someone I have met online
AESTHETICS
I have heard the ocean in a conch shell / I have watched the sun rise / I enjoy rainy days / I have slept under the stars / I meditate outside / the sound of chirping calms me / I enjoy the smell of the beach / I know what snow tastes like / I listen to music to fall asleep / I enjoy thunderstorms / I enjoy cloud watching / I have attended a bonfire / I pay close attention to colors / I find mystery in the ocean / spring is my favorite season
MISCELLANEOUS
I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle / I am the mom friend / I live by a certain quote / I like the smell of Sharpies / I am involved in extracurricular activities / I enjoy Mexican food / I can drive stick-shift / I have memorized an entire song in a day / I believe in true love / I dream up scenarios to fall asleep / I sing in the shower / I wish I lived in a video game / I have a canopy above my bed / I am multi-racial / I am a redhead / I own at least three dogs / I am LGBTQ
Tagged by : @multiplythatbyinfinityĀ ( thank youuu xoxo )
Tagging: pls steal this lol
Do you play any sports?
I run away from my feelings