✟Pepper West Coast ✟

Awful grades Intoxication A breakup Kissing my best friend Losing my best friend Losing more friends Self harm Getting my best friend back Dating an asshole lax bro Being mistaken for a lesbian Lacrosse Sunburns Going too far A breakup A second chance A breakup Lacrosse Nothingness Loneliness Finding a place Gaining a voice Perfect grades Oh wait Awful grades Suicidal friends The death of a friend Twerking on cars Kissing hockey players Dating hockey players Finding myself Remembering what I'm supposed to do with this life that I've almost completely messed up.

I think it's funny how I starved myself for a year Let myself forget school and study new diets instead of Romeo and Juliette I would go hungry Stay up late exercising And come to school on edge Finishing freshman year with a 2.6 GPA All because I wanted to look like Cara and Candice and the other Angels But I finally got to be that "perfect" 89 pounds. then it hit me. I wasn't happy. I let some stupid vision of what TV and tumblr wanted to be Skew my reality And drive me to be plastic And sickly thin. It took the help of a lacrosse team, Coaches, And an entire year to get myself back on track. To be the girl you see in that picture. And you know what? some people see that as fat But I see it as progress and I see it as a long, ugly journey with beautiful results.