For what it's worth, if you make "all men are trash" jokes, your male friends will not assume you don't mean them. If you say "kill all men", we do assume you mean us, because the word you used is "all". We assume you mean disabled men, oppressed men, trans men, gay men, bisexual men, impoverished men, black men, asian men. All of us. All the male victims, all the boys who have been abused by women, all the men who were never able to get help because of patriarchal toxicity. Everyone.
A friend made that joke in front of me, and as a result, I felt afraid to tell her about the times I'd been assaulted and harassed by women. ("Friend" and "joke" are words I use very loosely.) I knew, despite her claims of progressiveness, that she was a gender essentialist. She would not believe that women could possibly harass or abuse me. I have tried to confide in other friends, and been further abused as a result. She lost a friend that day, because she broke my trust and insulted me. I fought to be a man, and I am still fighting for my gender to be recognised, and that is no less valuable than the fight of a trans woman to have her womanhood validated.
It doesn't matter if you don't "identify" as a TERF. If you bully men for being men, under the guise of fighting misogyny, you're a gender essentialist. Trans men do not choose to be men. Cis men do not choose to be men. Being a man is not inherently bad. Being a woman is not inherently good. Men are abused, more than is widely known, because incidents are under-reported and not believed. Women are abusers too. I don't say "all women are trash", though. Because that would make me a misogynistic gender essentialist, and besides, I just know such a statement is incorrect and vile.
Spreading rhetoric that men=bad and women=good silences male victims. Men like me.
This rhetoric is literally TERF rhetoric. It's what the TERF cause stands for. TERFs abuse trans women because they view trans women as men. TERFs misgender and harass trans men because they view us as deluded women bowing to the patriarchy. Men are inherently bad, so we must be inherently bad for daring to identify as men.
Opposing TERFs isn't just about supporting trans women. JK Rowling tweeted that all people who menstruate are women, and the wider progressive community seemed to forget that this statement was literally targeting inclusive AFAB perspectives. We were disregarded right from the beginning of this fresh identity debate. Radcliffe rebutted with "trans women are women", which was necessary and wonderful, but neglected to mention trans men or transmasculine non-binary people at all.
I'm seeing a worrying trend where mocking and harassing men is considered funny or progressive. Using homophobic slurs to demean gay men, "as a joke". Minimising the struggles of trans men, because surely we have it easier than trans women. Interrupting transmasculine conversations, telling us to shut up.
If you hate TERFs so much, prove it. It's not enough to just throw around slogans and say "all trans people are valid". Engaging with men's issues, trans male oppression, and transmasculine identities is part of progressive feminism.
I do not want women to be supported less. I want innocent men to be supported more, in a genuine and helpful way, that assists in dismantling the patriarchy. I do not want trans women to be supported less. I want trans men to be supported more, and to be listened to. Included in conversations about reproductive health. Comforted when we face violence.
Some TERFs primarily target trans women. Others primarily target trans men. This is a fact. Their mission is multi-faceted, horrific, and insidious. Opposing all aspects of TERF bullshit is key to promoting transgender equity.
Dismantling the myth that men=bad and women=good is central to fighting TERFs. It seems everyone's forgotten that. What is your feminism led by? Equal rights? Or hating all men?
Anti-men activism can never be trans inclusive.
Some AFAB bodies belong to men.
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