im in the wrong realm and i think everyone can tell

i feel like im in the sims where it takes 5 hours to make pasta and then u have to immediately go to bed

god making snails: alright now i need a lil goopman

god makin slugs: haha okay one more but this time naked

are you an “arrr” pirate or a “yo ho ho” pirate

I’m an “I’m not paying $600 for Photoshop” pirate

i know theres no assigned seating in college but like….. thats my seat ?? leave u squatter ???

life is a lot like shaking trees in animal crossing. sometimes there’s bees

maybe you MILLENIALS would be able to afford a house if you stopped spending your money at your local diner’s jukebox buying twenty one (21) plays of what’s new pussycat with one (1) play of it’s not unusual in the middle

me experiencing love: this is too spicy