Dy Signor

I call it dreaming; your warm pale skin on my skin, your wild kiss on my cracked lips, your soft fingertips on the outline of my being.  I call it reality; your laughter while doing those things. 

I want your scent etched on my skin tomorrow just like how our sweats mixed with love and lust last night.

I have loved a woman. I have never lived for someone as much as I am now. I want her, only her. She’s the only person who gotten inside my head and loves me, still. She knows my complications. I love her so much. :( 

A new pen and a silky white parchment are the perfect vodka mix in 3 in the morning. 

You smell like home. 

No one knows how hard it is to keep your true self from the people you love the most. I know they won’t be proud of me when they figure out what I am. What I chose to become, that their daughter’s a lesbian. But this is me. I didn't just wake up one day with the word l-e-s-b-i-a-n imprinted on my forehead. You don’t just get to choose what you feel. You don’t just tell yourself “Ah! I’m a lesbian. I feel like it. Therefore, I am!” Society is cruel. 

This is one's mediocrity of a human mind. Living to be alive. Ha! Life is beyond breathing enough oxygen for a day or two. Life is living hundreds of thousands of hours passionately, wrapping every moment to the best the you can. It ain't simple, it ain't plain. It's complicated, we are all patches of complications of humanity. Meaning of life is not just to be alive. It's not that way. We put words, and make people believe what run-of-the-mill thoughts you try to wonder. Not good.

It's weird how one person can turn your ordinary day into something grand.

Never had the thought of writing for so long. I do, with a flap of passion as thin as a guitar string that might break in any wondering moment. I have been writing with my thoughts rather than with my heart. Been pushing a little too hard this past few months. Thank God, I found it again. Found someone who opens my heart to wanderlust.

I have mastered loneliness. The darkness that creeps inside your soul every waking day, and gets stronger when night lurks at the other side. I have mastered pain. The invisible spear piercing from the surface of your softest tale of skin through the innermost being that will certainly drag you to hell of torment. I have mastered it all. And now, I am prepared for the taste of love. The taste of her succulent lips on my cracked lips. The smell of her glorious smile that sips through her eyes. Her incomparable ardor which makes her heart relish with yearning. I have mastered it all, and I am willing to master you.

Di na alam ang tunay sa hindi totoo. Ano nga ba ang nararamdaman; saya at tunay na ligaya. Hindi na alam kung alin ang pipiliin, sino, ano, saan at paano. Hindi na alam kung dapat pa bang magtiwala, kumapit sa marupok ng nararamdaman. Aasa pa ng aba na dadating ang panahon na mababaling ang atensyon, na kaytagal ng hinintay? Paano ng aba ibalik ang lahat, paano iayos ang mga nasirang pangarap, paano ka ng aba mamahaling ng matagal mo ng hinihiling? Hindi na nga yata dadating, marami ng nangyari, araw, oras, panahon na lumipas. Ang dami ng sakit na pinagdaanan habang wala siya, bakit nga ba hanggang ngayon patuloy paring umaasa sa isang majika ng kahapon. 

"You always make it real, all the impossible things turn in to magic. Though I know magic cannot be real." -D.Y. 10:48 am 8/29/2014