I couldn’t think of any title. Okay, so this is the first time I am going to write about this unexpected person lying beside me tonight. Well yeah, I’ve written some poems but it was because I was hurt and pissed because of something about him. So let’s start.

(1) Now, I believe in those sayings such as “good things happen to those who wait” and “you’ll find someone if you stop looking”. I wasn’t looking for someone that very moment of my life but then there he was.

I wouldn’t tell the story of how it all began, but I just want to share that what’s happening right now is not easy. Everything’s a first and I’m still figuring out if this is all worth it or if I am supposed to be in this place right now. It’s been a whirlwind of events and emotions that sometimes I couldn’t handle but I have to because that is what I am.

I never imagined that I’d be in this position right now but after days of thinking, I’ve decided to take the risk. Just like in accounting, the higher the risk, the higher the profit. 

(2) I was not the original, but I am not the third party. I wasn’t and I will never be. We were friends and I didn’t think that we’ll come this far. For the first days that we were constantly hanging out, I thought this is only temporary, just a past time for him because he and his girlfriend are not in good terms.

 I wasn’t taking advantage, I was a friend. But I don’t know why he was always there. (We had something even before he had a girlfriend, the latest ex and the other ex) Then he started telling me that he liked me, that he feels at ease when we were together, and other sweet stuff that I didn’t believe because who would have thought that he was feeling that way, I was not expecting that from him.

(3) All I’m thinking is, why is he here? What have I done to make him like me? What happening right now? I constantly ask him “why are you here?” and I want an answer.

(4) I’m confused right now. Really. I can feel that there is still something between him and his ex, but I can also feel that he is serious about what we have right now. Fuck what am I even saying?