BlastyBitch

Kirishima: “You know what your problem is?”

Bakugou: “Oh I don’t know Shitty Hair what do you think my problem is huh!?”

Kirishima: “You just can’t seem to figure out when to accept defeat. Sometimes people lose, it’s not the end of the world.”

Bakugou: “Yeah!? You’re one to talk! How often do you go into something expecting to win and then get all butt hurt when you don’t??”

Kirishima: “At least I’m not throwing a chair at someone over it!”

Bakugou: “Nooooo, you just throw yourself!”

Kirishima: “Alright you got me there… But nonetheless!”

Bakugou: “You know what, I’m done, I’m not having this conversation with a cheater. I want a fucking divorce.”

Kirishima: “Yeah!? Bet you’ll enjoy that!”

Bakugou: “I’m taking everything in the divorce you dumbass of course I’ll enjoy it!!”

Kirishima: “OH REAL FUCKING MATURE!”

Denki: “So are y’all gonna trade properties or?…”

Bakugou: “…”

Kirishima: “…”

Bakugou: “I ain’t trading shit until you give me the goddamn railroads!”

Kirishima: “Go fuck yourself!”

Mina: “This is gonna be a long game of monopoly isn’t it?..”

Sero and Jirou: “Yyup.”

Bakugou: “You know Kiri, for someone who’s extremely tough and manly, I get the feeling you’ve got a softer side to you than even I do.”

Kirishima: “Wha- I do not!!”

Bakugou: “Nothing to be ashamed of Shima.”

Kirishima: “You’ve got no proof of that Blasty.”

Bakugou: “Oh yeah?”

Kirishima: “Yeah.”

Bakugou: “Ok, so I must’ve imagined you snuggling up to me last night at our sleepover saying that, and I quote, ‘If anyone fucking touches you, looks at you, or talks to you wrong I’m going to prison.’ Right?”

Kirishima: …

Bakugou: “Yeah what I thought, don’t worry though, it was adorable and I have no intention of telling anyone.” *wink*

Kirishima: “If you did I’d have to beat the shit out of you.”

Bakugou: “Yeahhh… But then you’d also have to send yourself to prison all bloody.”

Kirishima: “Why can’t you threaten everyone like that again?”

Bakugou: “Because that’s mean! And besides, we both know I’m not serious. That would only happen if someone hurt YOU.”

Kirishima: “You scare me sometimes.”

Eijiro: “Hey babe, you wanna come help me with the tree?”

Katsuki: “I could but uh, kinda in the middle of something. Maybe in a minute.”

Eijiro muttering under his breath: “He’s been acting weird all day…”

A few moments go by before Katsuki is running into the room

Katsuki: “Alright come on you big dummy.”

Eijiro laughing: “Love, I’m setting up the tree.”

Katsuki: “Yeah that can fuckin wait, come on!”

Eijiro: “Alright alright I’m coming, slow down.”

Katsuki drags him into the doorway of their kitchen and lets off a mischievous smirk

Eijiro still laughing a little: “Yes?”

Katsuki then points up at the frame, when Ei looks up he sees a mistletoe

Eijiro: “Ohoho so THIS is what you’ve been up to? Well, don’t mind if I do.”

After giving his husband a tender kiss Kats smile becomes even more mischievous

Eijiro a little more nervous now: “Oh good gods what did you do?”

Katsuki: “I hid a bunch of these around the house, now you’re obligated to give me kisses whenever you find them.”

Eijiro: “And you call me the sap!”

Katsuki: “Because you are.”

Eijiro: “Coming from the man who hid mistletoe’s just to get kisses!”

Katsuki: “Yeah from my husband. Gotta fuckin problem with that?”

Ochaco: … “Maybe we’ll know in another universe huh?” …

Tsuyu: “Car’s waiting for you Kero!”

Ochaco: “Be there in a minute!”

Mitsuki: “Ok, so let me get this as straight as possible… You found this dragon,”

Bakugou: “Yes.”

Mitsuki: “It tackled you to the ground and threatened to eat you,”

Bakugou: “Yes.”

Mitsuki: “You then proceeded to smile and tell it to at least court you first,”

Bakugou: “Mhm.”

Mitsuki: “And now the two of you are dating and to be married?”

Kirishima: “With your blessing of course Majesty!”

Mitsuki: “Good Gods Katsumi. Ok, what’s your name dragon?”

Kirishima: “Eiko Kirishima ma’am.”

Mitsuki: …

Bakugou: “So we got your blessing or what hag?”

Mitsuki: “…You know what, absolutely. Eiko,”

Kirishima: “Yes ma’am?”

Mitsuki: “Best of fuckin luck! She’s a menace, but even more, now she’s your problem!”

Kirishima: “I know what I signed up for.” *smiles*

Mitsuki: “MASARU DARLING SOMEONE WANTS TO MARRY OUR BRAT OF A DAUGHTER!!”

Denki: “We understand that man, believe me, we want Kacchan back too. But you’re talking about going full vigilante mode in order to find him.”

Mina: “Denki’s right. You can’t just go at it like that. Which is exactly why we’re coming with you.”

Kirishima: “What?”

Jirou: “Oh cmon, you didn’t expect us to just sit by while the government chalks it up to a simple ‘ransom demand’ did ya?”

Sero: “We’ve all been in this together since high school. We’re still in this together man.”