no, mark

hi we dont post here anymore. hope you enjoy scavenging what is still here <3 may reappear here and there to complain about recent events or to answer asks but dont count on it. cbench and michael_beloved are still awesome godbless

when we were just an older teenager who still hated ourself we had been so sensitive to that many people thinking we were wrong and the vocal few who were cruel to our face about it damaged us so significantly that we kept trying to give grace to how we messed up but like oh my god. we're 21 now and we would never treat a 15 year old like that. condescending, twisting her words, cyberstalking her and trying to put her down to a friend trying to defend her, saying she was calling people bigoted just to call her a bigot, self reporting that there was a group making fun of her just for someone to treat her like shes crazy for bringing it up, all over messy wording when she was trying to tell people she was uncomfortable

truly and sincerely, fuck you people who contributed to that. it was our first time truly being in the public eye in such a stressful way and it worsened our paranoia so badly to the point where we had to confide in our therapist about fucking fandom discourse and the insane thing is we had breakdowns publicly and it still took a while for people to stop and leave us alone. fuck you to the people who were cruel and condescending and didnt give us a moment to breathe. we still arent as old as one of the main people who contributed to that yet

and like, thanks to the people who were nice and did have our back even when mask messed her words up or was openly upset and unstable. but god being a black teenage girl in this fandom was a humiliation ritual and im so glad we're out. i doubt wed fit in much to whats left of it but i dont care so much about that anymore. weve got our rewrite we're working on and people who do care about us no real thanks to this fandom and i think weve finally made it to a point of being okay despite it all