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oozey mess
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will byers stan first human second
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#extradirty
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@dyingcharge
Alright. So Birthday comes out wearing something perfectly reasonable this time. Now he's ready to get some beach babes, or...
...actually do his duty as head of security.
Well, he decides, he has his tazer in his trunk's pockets, so that's doing his job enough. Time to pick up some beach babes.
"Ladies?"
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[very quietly.] Father, forgive me for what it is that I am about to do.
[MAKES THE SIGN OF THE DAMN CROSS.]
Ballista…. SHOTTO!!!
[Birthday is fucking dead. The end.]
Beach?
Well, Birthday emerges wearing the latest fashion.
"Ladies?"
help me janitor sama || birthday & yato
One would generally think that a school as illustrious and prestigious as Kerria would have students with their heads on their shoulders who know how to behave properly.
Wrong.
So far he was called to unclog six toilets (what the hell did these kids eat?), clean the pool, change a grand total of sixty eight lightbulbs and take care of the vending machine near the Music Department that got punched three times too many, and now there was this. He honestly should’ve just applied as a teacher, damn it. He’ll need to start charging extra five yen per job.
Taking a deep sigh, he teleported (being a god was very convenient) to the cooking hallway with a soft poof.
「 Delivery God And Part-Time Janitor Yato atcha service! What’s the- 」 He paused, noticing the man dripping in what he assumed was some kind of dough.
「 I s’ppose someone has a great knead for some cake, huh. 」
The janitor, thankfully, had fast reaction time, arriving almost as if he teleported (not that Birthday would be surprised that the guy could, indeed, teleport). He was about to thank the guy for coming so quickly, but as soon as that stupid joke came out of that janitorial mouth, he revoked his praise.
"Well, sir, I knead you to clean this up," he said, deadpanning. Slowly, he approached the janitorial god and looked straight into those dead eyes. "Should I egg you on with a little home made recipe?" The bitterness in his voice continued to rise.
"Want me to batter your face?" He pulled back a fist as if he were about to punch the janitor, but, instead, he took some of the gunk on his and threw it right at the the guy in front of him. Hell, it couldn't even be called a throw, considering Birthday simply smeared it across the guy's face.
"Cook me at 420 degrees until I'm golden brown and delicious."
you damn kids || birthday & juuzou
Juuzou was just strolling around, minding his business and enjoying the scenery. He was, however, starting to get a little bored, and was looking to play a prank on someone. Yo! Perfect timing. With the most innocent looking smile the teen could muster up, he greeted the adult.
‘Hi there! Well… I’m not sure it’s fashionable, but I like it.’ He nodded to himself as he displayed a stitched arm. ‘Plus it’s pretty, don’t you think? I could show you how to do it, if you want. It’s really easy. Do you sew, mister? It’s a lot like that, actually.’
Did he just call himself old? Well, there was Juuzou’s cue. Another briht smile became the teen as he held his hands behind his back and swayed on his heels. ‘Oh, but I didn’t think you were really that old… you don’t look a day over fifty!’ The adult sure seemed like the type to get riled up easily. Maybe, if he was lucky, they could play a game of tag.
He examined the stitched arm with exaggerated interest, making an obnoxious hum as he tilted his head many which ways. Truly it took a remarkable pain tolerance to sew your arm up in this way; mad respect was given to the kid.
Until he took the old joke too far.
Birthday expected a comment, rude or not, but he didn't expect this caliber of rudeness. He mused that, in a way, it wasn't actually an insult, and that looking like he lived a full life was respectable. Somehow, by the look on the kid's face, he knew such wasn't the case.The student wasn't some ten year old, so he couldn't simply let it go. Oh, but he would play this on the same ground.
"Thank you! I've been trying this new cream out. It does wonders for wrinkles," he said with a laugh. "I must say: I didn't think toddlers had access to needles. I guess you must be some exceptional little kid."
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two police dicks || birthday & adachi
So, another underling for Birthday-sama, ohoho~! A detective, but not just any detective, joined the academy's force. He would have to keep a close eye on this one because, like a responsible adult and boss, he read up on the guy's history. Tohru Adachi: arrested for suspicion over multiple murders, but released due to a lack of evidence.
Well, there was a lack of evidence... but something about this guy just didn't sit right with Birthday. However, hunches could always be wrong, so he would give the guy a fair chance to prove himself. Speaking of which, he saw one Tohru Adachi enter his office door.
He swung his feet off his desk, put on his flip-flops, and jumped out of his seat to greet the newcomer. Smiling, he reached out a hand, a customary greeting of course.
"Nice to meet you, Adachi-san. Welcome to the school's defense force."
notthegodloki replied to your post:Greetings
I’M CRYING I LOVE THIS
im a pleaser <3
do not eat people w/o permission || birthday & tsukiyama
Aliens, vampires, half-humans, princes, and now human-eating ghouls? Surely Birthday, a man with only electricity by his side, shouldn't be put in charge of this mess; the entire mish-mosh of people presented itself to be a mess just waiting to happen.
Nothing happened yet, and he credited himself for such a feat. He was at least partially responsible; he greeted each not-100%-human when they arrived and set down the rules and consequences, hoping, at least, some of the less confident ones wouldn't misbehave.
He was now off to greet one of the newer arrivals: a ghoul by the name of Shuu Tsukiyama, ironically a culinary arts teacher. With complete confidence, he went directly to the dorm of the man in question and knocked on the door.
"Tsukiyama-san~ It's your neighborhood security person here to have a little discussion."
Greetings
Greetings: And I will write our characters’ first ever meeting.
"Your food looks delicious, but not as delicious as you, my dear~"
By the terrified and confused look on the cooking teacher’s face, it seemed Birthday didn’t make a great first impression. No matter though; the ladies always fell for him in the end.
And by fell, he fell, really hard onto the ground when he was pushed out of the classroom.
you damn kids || birthday & juuzou
One look at this kid and he could see that there had to be at least one thing about him that obstructed school rules. At least one thing. Even if this was a school with students and teachers stranger than the ones at the Facultas Academy.
He read through the tiny handbook given to him three times over-- no, he would do that if he was a responsible head of security. That book stayed almost untouched in his back pocket.
"Yo~!" He greeted the shorter male, hands in his jacket's pockets. "So, kiddo, is it fashionable to have all those stitches everywhere nowadays? Teach this old man a lesson, hm?"
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help me janitor sama || birthday & yato
"Excuse me there's a mess to be cleaned up near the cooking hall way."
Birthday spoke into his trusty earpiece, like one straight out of a cool spy movie, about a situation that was definitely not from a cool spy movie. It was probably from some school comedy sitcom and he was the butt of the joke. All he wanted to do was grab a bite from one of the cooking classes, a little reward for all his hard work, but he came at the wrong time.
As soon as he entered, a bowl of some liquid flew out of a student's hand and onto Birthday's head.
He spoke into the earpiece again, feeling the liquid dripping from every part of his body (only a slight exaggeration). "Please hurry."
its july asshole || birthday & kyle
It was the middle of July. The A/C only worked indoors. The shade didn't provide enough cooling in 100 degree weather. Birthday had already sent three kids to the nurse's office for heat stroke.
Why, then, was this student completely clothed in winter wear, hat and gloves and all? Was he insane? Birthday wouldn't doubt it considering the kinds of people who went to this school. As much as he would love to see the kid reap the consequences of his own clothing choices, an adult decision had to be made adultly.
"Yo! Green hat!" He called out. "You have a death wish?"
Drabbles meme 2
Send me one of these:
Greetings: And I will write our characters’ first ever meeting.
Kiss: My character will kiss yours.
Comfort: My character will hug yours.
Date: I will write an account of what would happen if our characters went on a date.
Truth: My character will tell you what they think of yours in all honesty.
Tender: I will write some sweet fluff between our characters.
Run!: I will write some action with our characters involved.
Scare: A nightmare my character has had about yours.
Break: My character will greatly upset yours.
Oops: I will write our characters getting into some trouble.
Morning: What my character would say if they woke up in bed next to yours.
AU: I will write an AU drabble with my character and yours.
Marry: My character will propose to yours.
Drafts: For unsent texts
Wine: For the drunken phone-call/text
Night: For the two am text/call
[[ like for a starter. there is absolutely no limit because birthday is limitless ]]
oh no || ness & birthday
[it’s rare for him to be out in the flower gardens, especially in the middle of the day. With the strong Earth sun beating down overhead and his sometimes terrifying allergy to certain kinds of Earth plants, he’s not usually out here. But then, given the heat, no-one else is going to be either, and that’s what he needs.]
[peeking up at the sun through the wide, floppy brim of his hat, kicking his legs unconsciously and then stilling them as the smooth slide of the slip against his legs makes itself known. smoothing his hands down warily over the daintily flared garden-skirt.]
[Chulka’s sent him a pretty dress. Well, a pretty outfit— lowering his head as he thinks. She said it was something Earth girls wore during the sun season— a garden-party dress? and although he’s obedient as ever to her whims, he’s immediately fled to the garden on donning it, afraid that someone will see him and think he’s mocking their culture, mocking their femininity, or worse.]
[staring down at his tiny feet in their dainty dancing slippers. the whole thing is as comfortable as she said it was, but he can’t help feeling like a carefully arranged porcelain doll. his train of thought is completely scattered, though, when he hears a rustle, and jerks his head up, eyes wide and startled, to meet the equally startled (though screened) gaze of a male human.]
[He’d picked this place because it was guaranteed to be deserted. and well, it was, except for the guy whose job it is to patrol the deserted areas.]
[hasn’t even realised that he’s shot to his feet, grasping great handfuls of his flowy ruffly skirt and poised to flee, half-frozen and tiny with fear and confusion and huge eyes under the shade of the tree.]
Perhaps the only good part of Birthday's job, other than the title, was walking around the large campus. Each little patrol felt like an expedition in its own way; each time he would meet a new person or find a new little crevice he hadn't explored before. It's when one has little time that one begins to enjoy these little things, make everyday a little richer.
On one of his scheduled afternoon patrols, the most leisurely of the day because the time after lunch made him feel incredibly lethargic, he came upon the flower gardens. Usually, the area was completely deserted, but one person seemed to occupy the area.
He approached the rather small occupant, presumably a student, but, it seemed, he scared them. A playful smirk spread across his face.
"You do sure have a nice taste in lounging areas. I would love to take a nap here right now, but, alas, adults have duties." He let out an exaggerated sigh. "Oh, sorry for startling you, but I have to make sure there's no suspicious people about, y'know? I don't think anyone as cute as you in that dress could be someone suspicious~."
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{ Yayoi & Birthday } buddies on the making
"…Ah.”
That was Yayoi’s reaction as she stared at the man before him.
Of course she expected to be under someone else’s orders, but as much as she didn’t like judging others by appearance alone, Yayoi was sure that she’d never guess this guy was the security chief around there. He looked way too carefree to be someone that important.
Still, the former-Enforcer didn’t let her thoughts show on her face. Instead she just gave Birthday a nod and a polite bow, as blank-faced as ever.
"Kunizuka Yayoi, the new bodyguard."
Birthday's security force consisted of a few kids, a junior detective, and more kids, so it was a nice change of pace when a grown woman joined. She was very easy on the eyes and something about her stoic demeanor reminded him of someone he knew.
All the more exciting, he mused.
"Birthday, head of security, the man that will sweep you off your feet, Yayoi-chan," he said with a devious smirk. Without warning, he knelt on one knee and took her hand into his. "If you need anything," he paused and kissed her hand gently like any gentleman, "I'll be here to answer your calls."
A party~? A... birthday party? Even better it was a birthday party run by a fellow dorm head who seemed to know how to have fun.
But, of course, being head of security and all that titular power stuff, he couldn't have the luxury of attending the party with the intent to have fun. No, he was party patrol: to make sure no one has too much fun. A bummer. An extreme bummer.
Well, he could call the other junior cadets to do it for him, but... he was a responsible adult. Very responsible, and he would prove it. First, he got a present, wrapped it all professional (meaning it looked like a five year old wrapped it) and then he lugged the small package to the party.
Upon entrance he was given glasses which he duly wore over his sunglasses that he refused to take off. He placed the object onto the table where there seemed to be presents and then went off to... party patrol.
