tell me which way to go

a low hushed chuckle had slipped out of the male’s lips as he had heard the way that she tried to conceal herself from him when he already had seen her blush a thousand times before.  as if, he’d actually forget how gorgeous she looked whenever she did. it was why he had been so courageous to tug that blanket away from her face just so he’d get a glimpse of her. despite how heavenly it was to even be in this situation with her now, to have gotten the idea that they only needed each other for the sex out of their minds––it was almost surreal to know that they shared something so much MORE than just that. now, each night was spent in one or the other’s bed that they barely could sleep without the other by their side. with each morning, he’d be greeted with her face all bare, hair tousled and making her look twice as gorgeous as she already was. he’d see how her lids were too heavy for her to open, how she’d yawn and stretch out only to let herself land into his body yet again & how it would be so difficult for him to get out of the bed, just like today. “mm, i’m sure they’ll be more than pleased to have me late today.” he says, his tone coated with that hint of lust that was looming in his body. nothing seemed to turn him on much like how she’d use those little nicknames. there was something that was just far too arousing about hearing her call him that way. it had him running his tongue along his lips before he had gripped onto her waist as he mumbles, “don’t then. stay in bed with me, baby.” he practically purrs just as he had laid her back in bed with his torso hovering over hers as he captures those lips into one slow yet sensual liplock to start their day.

[ flashback → 3 years ago ] :

the SMART move would easily be having jaehyun packing up getting out of his office as soon as he could. after all, being alone with her just reminded him of that rather fortunate moment that the two shared a few nights ago. barely taking their clothes off, his body flush against hers and his lips whispering lewd things that a man with professionalism wouldn’t dare say to a student of his. this was nothing that he should have done, but he did and he made no move to put a STOP to it; not when he reactions to his moves were far more pleasing to watch. it was exactly why he hadn’t made a motion to leave or allow himself to be alone yet again. instead, he lets them be alone together in that room. he’d watch how she stood before him, how she answers his questions with that tone in her voice. it almost makes him chuckle to hear how she almost seemed so harmless. however, he knew her capabilities––especially when fucking with her once was enough to let her be the constant image that popped into his head whenever he got off on his own. “that’s an offer i wouldn’t want to pass out on.” despite the joking manner she had posed, he has the courage to flirt with he as he says such words before he sunk his teeth onto his lower lip. this was a dangerous game that he was playing. however, with no one around at this hour, who could possibly catch the sight of him acting up? “well, i missed out on the offer of teaching assistants.” he tells her, gesturing for her to come closer. “maybe….you could help me. i’m sure you’ll make it less boring for me. what do you think?”

jackson didn’t know how to treasure these moments, ‘cause whenever he tried to grab one and hold onto it, another one appeared. his chest felt soft and bright, like the sparkle in junsun’s eyes as they locked glances. such a connection he hadn’t ever dreamt of sharing. and maybe it was just him and his own imagination, but every now and then he swore he could feel the shorter one’s heart beat along with his own. he swore he could feel the butterflies escape from behind his rib cage, showering the room with bashing wings and pure relief. sure, jackson was a smooth talker. he was prince charming, the charmer and flirtatious remark. he knew what he was doing, and he knew he did it well. this was his field, this was where he’d spend so many years getting comfortable. though this ; what was stirring within him wasn’t, and he felt oddly trapped yet also stunningly freed. from himself, maybe. from his own expectations of the world, life, maybe from his own fears. he was so scared of this, and yet he still found himself diving in, head first. what an unexpected turn of events. it was more or less uneccesarry when the salt and sugar was put into actual actions, when it was becoming a more serious part of the conversation, and that’s when jackson realised how dumb his way of approaching had been. how cliche could you get? was it lega to be this cheesy? but he fought his insecurities under a ton of heavy blankets, hiding his every thought from junsun. okay, maybe not every single thought as one was very clear ; he wanted to be close to him and feel his presence merged with his own. he wanted to sink into the couch and never get up, just sit there, lay there. comfortable and calm. just taking in the rising and sinking of the other’s chest, listening to nothing but the vague sound of the traffic outside closed windows and their own individual breathing, now breathing together. 

a boyish chuckle, almost shy in honesty, leaves jackson’s throat as the native asks him if there’s anything else, he wants from him. lowkey denying how many things he could name right then and there, jackson sticks to his chuckle and disreetly sticks his tongue out and runs it across his lips, giving them moisture. soon enough his chubby lips explode into a smirk and another wink is sent in the direction of junsun. he asked for this one. though when the other boy starts correcting his appearance, fiddling with his caramel golden locks, soft and warm, jackson raised his hand. fingers touching, hands meeting briefly as jackson gently tried to remove junsun’s hand from his hair. a genuine smile and look of pure endearment splashes junsun like waves onto the naked shore with all the fondness jackson had within him. and so his hand once again sank to his body. ‘ you look good, ‘ the british one complimented the other, finding honesty flattering himself, hoping the other would feel the same. jackson felt himself space out, completely in trance of the other’s eyes, and he’s almost leaning in when … junsun speaks and the taller one was immediately awakened from whatever dream world he’d been sinking into. jackson stands up straight, his height and the width of his shoulders standing out in this upright position, and his lips once again forms a smirk. ‘ well, i figured if i dressed up real nice i’d be able to charm you into spending the day with me, maybe? or .. ‘ jackson pulls his phone up the front pocket of his jeans, checking the clock, his lockscreen lighting up ; it’s a picture of a woman leaving the café where his mum’s working ( that woman is indeed jackson’s mum ) afraid to lose the one moment of truth he had, afraid he’ll never get a second chance. ‘ evening, that is, ‘ he corrects his own mistake and buries the phone in his pocket again, and his eyes once again lands on junsun, ‘ so what do you say? did i charm you well? ‘

junsun wondered if this was a DREAM or a REALITY , for someone like jackson --- who seems to have the stars shining in his eyes and stardust across his lips , was simply talking to him . the other seemed absolutely unreal , polished with a smile that could ignite a fire inside of him . for jun , it was almost as if he was too afraid to blink , afraid that if he did , jackson would disappear ; like light , he would warm junsun up but disappear through the cracks of his fingers when he’s trying to grasp onto him , before he’s gotten the chance to hold him close . his train of thought STOPS once his sugar brown hues drift across the taller male’s features once again , all his worries disappear because he now realizes that it would have been a privilege just to have the chance to be close to jackson . but secretly , he hopes that he wouldn’t have to ever encounter the feeling of loosing him ; even if they weren’t close , yet . maybe it was a habit but for the boy with caramel colored locks and golden hues to match , he’s grown used to seeing the people he love , disappear from his side . he joked around with taehyun before that maybe it was destiny , written in the stars or something like that --- and while junsun manages to play it off cool , his heart was tired of feeling this way . it’s been time and time again where his he’s given his heart away only to have it returned in shattered pieces that pierced his sun kissed skin , whether that be past lovers , friends and family ( although now , he only considers taehyun to be his family ) . and with the way jackson lights up the room when his eyes dipped into half moons when he smiles , he only hopes he never loses that . he can’t quite pin - point it , but there’s something about the british that made his heart flutter , causing jun to become more shy than he already is , even with just a glance ; he wonders if it’s obvious with the hint of cherry pink blossoming across his cheeks .