She Rambles Here

O' beloved I wonder how have you been... You are constantly in my thoughts, rulling my emotions, stirring my heart. I gave up on sleep, spending it reminiscing of you instead. Your face, your scent are etched in my mind,leaving footprints all over my being. My feelings for you have changed me and this awareness thrills me yet ashames me as well. Love was an embarrasing thing before yet now, I…

Befriending the darkness, sitting in this emptiness, everything feels like home everything feels comfortable. Feeling its touches on my body, a kind of familiarity envelopes me. I know everything here - its cold touches, its bare emotions - everything feels oh so familiar.This is home - I repeat it again and again. Anything else could be better perhaps but I love it here. I don't wish to forget…

The storm raging outsidea reminder of my sorrows,as memories of you floods my beinglike there's no tomorrow.The loss of you has kept meforever in disbelief,too stunned to live, to do anythingabout all this grief.A shadow of my former self,a shell of nothingness.I'm everything but alive,a dam waiting to burst.Existing monotonously,taking up space, feeding on air,It's getting too painful to…

My love for you feels delicious -ripe for the plucking,so tempting and alluring (just like you)yet I find myself at the crossroads now -I've been forced to stopfor you no longer have spacefor me in your life..My love,I've lost a huge part of me -most of it when you left -but some of it recently..And it's only a matter of timebefore I permanently disappear..It's time for me to return -to go back…

I was once introduced to depressionand now we have some sort of deep relation.We even share the same bed nowas it refuses to leave me alone at all.We'd wake up the same time every morningyet it will pull the blankets on and try to sleep in.It'll snuggle in and tell me the sun's too hotas if I'll get burnt if I took a step out.And after a struggle, we'd hit the showerswhere it'll hog the water and…

Sometimes, it feels like deja vu, how things turned out to be,how they are not as they seem.. It feels like a dream came true,but the dream ain't ours,never will be ours to keep. Don't look at us, at how we've become, the journey's been rough, you'll never know what we've done. In this vast galaxy, everything's a fantasy - we smile ruefully at our own misery. Everything is trivial,It all seems…

When the memories of youcomes creeping in,Immense sorrow engulfs mecompletelyand for a second I lose mythoughts,I lose my reality.For a second, I travelledback in timeand relive the traumathat was our relationship.And the pain comessweeping in,numbing the whole body,filling every inch withdeep-seeded hurt.The gaslighting,the denials,the excuses reusedover & over again -Oh how you played meto your…

Perhaps it is a disappointment that things turned out this wayBut risking it all for one happy momentis something I'd never do any day.You called me blindfor never seeing the nearing end,for all these sleepless nightI had begged to be by your side.I had promised to always be thereyour beatings, your words, your tears -I was willing to bear them all.Although you said you hated meto my very core,I…

I wish my body could give mea roadmapso that I'd know where it hurtsand how to get there to heal it.I look into myself and all I can see isscars and still bleeding wounds,a festering abscess left unattendedby an unskilled, sorry excuse of a human beingI mourn the death of the child within me,the child who was never allowed to be a kid,the child who had never felt safe,the child who kept trying to…

Lying beside you,Tracing my fingers acrossYour freckled back,Feeling every lineEvery fold of your bodyAs I go,Enjoying the softness that brushesAgainst my rough palms..I'm jealous of the wayThe air and the lightCan easily brush up against youUnhidden,Its touches are there for all to see..It can be open, proud and marvelous,While I have to make doWith what I canBehind closed doors..I lie there…

A text, a simple wish started all of this. And now, months later it had evaporated like vapor. It's hard to kill this love from the bud. The skies, that deep blue that we both see has turned grey as much as me. Let me back, take me back oh how I wish to beg. Yes I know, I already am and so these tears fall like a broken dam. Can we please return to square one back to the time things were still…

Inside,The ceiling fan wobbles away in the darkness,The rattling sound of it's blade pierces through the silent night.Outside,The barking of the neighbour's dog echoes loudly,Providing a kind of company in this darkness..The mundaneness of all of these Brought forward some sort of solitudeUnfound anywhere else..Depression comes calling at times like this,Lurking in the shadows, Just waiting for…

You used to tell me that I loved too much and I believed you... I believed you when you said my love was exhausting, suffocating you tremendously to a point you felt trapped in a prison, feeling breathless, your lungs completely out of air, having been crushed by my love. I believed you to a point that I was scared of loving another after you... I didn't want to kill another being simply by…

The faint light from the alleyways pierces through the windscreen of my car and onto your rosy cheeks pressed against my breasts.. How you had hugged me tight throughout the night, crying at the thought of separation, at the thought of being apart temporarily.. You held onto me, clingly onto my arms, wanting to be embedded within me, your nose taking in my scent, sniffing at me greedily and…

I've become traumatisedabout speaking about my trauma.I've had so many peoplemeet my family and wonderif I'm making things up -because my parents, my familyseems extremely normal on the outside.They tell me that perhapsI need to open up,that perhaps I need to talk,and that'll help me overcomethese emotions.But no one understandsthat every time I do soI'm cutting myself opento allow others to…