dusk

the world’s ending

and we’re shit

out of luck

we’ve sealed our fate

prescribed to happen

the medicine locked

in a safe

ill cleanse my slate

emerged from water

i’ve become

a fresh face

seize my spirit

of a gentle touch

that wiped away tears

and held me close

fingers stroked scars

and the salt would burn

bleeding wounds

the molotov cocktail made of

the ugliest parts of my soul

mixed with

the acceptance that made me feel whole

in the end

the gentle touch never came

tears never shed

no salt to burn wounds

just a hollow shell

piece by piece

flesh rotted off of me

revealing

something underneath

metal bones

wired veins

can robots feel pain?

now i wonder

what will bring me from under

the black of night

the only one

to embrace my core

who met my eyes

i stare at a blank ceiling

as dawn creeps in

i wonder why

i’m still laying here

the days pass me by

as my eyes glaze over

i breathe in hazy smoke every night

so that i can feel alright

so that my mind stops thinking

and the hole in my chest stops sinking

pulling the life from me

and draining the color from the sky

i am tossed to the sea

a black mirror

my eyes weep

but i don’t know what i’m crying for

an emptiness you can’t shake

one you can’t sleep away

because that was taken from you too

one more kick to the face

so here i lay

parallel to a ceiling with no stars

an empty chest

who would stay

is it wrong of me to ask for more

i’d almost think i’m being punished for

wanting something better

or even for laying

laying here

staring at the empty sky

as i talk to my phone

instead of crying

because there’s no one else

who i would make listen

to the swirling thoughts

that come back over and over again

no one could comfort

a shell of a man

who is pulled inside of himself

to escape the world

he doesn’t even want to be alive he says

so why’s he still crying about it

better off dead you’d say

since he wants it so bad

-

june 8 2025

and I’m an actor

in a play

the audience

gawks and glares

waiting for

their cue

to laugh

my mouth opens

on its own

i guess the lines

no one moves

i block my face

from the light

their eyes

are so bright

their hungry hands

reach within me

and pull out

my heart

they rip it to shreds

in my throat

a pressure building

soon to blow

a crushing feeling

it hurts to breathe

i am trapped

underneath

a heart of light

born from air

flowing through

is ensnared

tumbling down

a cliff face

frozen solid

wide eyes glazed

the mystery

gone cold

details unknown

the knowledge doesn’t

exist

fairy lights

on the screen of

my phone

are the same

ones that

were in my

at the beach

is sit on the balcony

and listen to the waves.

as i sit in my

new apartment,

as cars pass by,

i lick the sap from the tree of life

pestering for why

the syrup so sour

it’s overpowering

i chew bark for more

the blood of life

a nectar from the gods

the koolaid we all seek

not what it seems

that tree

it’s rotted deep

yygdrasil

you frighten me

you bloom ash

roots drink sewer water

standing tall

a grave robbed before the flesh gone

maggots crept under skin

eaten from within

you died as you lived

-

they pulled my teeth and forced me to eat

a bitter man in his 20s

starving for more

begging for less

there’s something wrong with me

answers i refuse to seek

always left wondering

what i’m supposed to be

there’s no one to tell me what to say

i’ve never learned how to articulate

in anyone’s company

stuck in a web of mistakes

i wish to accept my fate

watch the fangs close in

as my heart starts to fade

stuck to the rhythm of the cage

it’s always been too late

i was born to suffer in a grave

it’s all the same

you’re pretending you feel differently

maybe it’s better i don’t have it

it’ll hurt too much to lose

a flower that should’ve wilted

instead grew roots

~~~

we’re all liars

the worlds gonna end

and it will happen

again again and again

cradled in your hand

i know what true love means

wash away my apathy

i soften at your sympathy

you cry for me

it’s all i ask of you

a sacrifice for me

i don’t even beg you

 a sinking ship

no land in sight

an anchor to hold me

the waves say goodnight

~~~

how long will i have to wait

for just a little taste

of everything ive desired

to be someone admired

electrocute me im wired

set to fire

you’re a fool 

if you’re tired

ready to lay bare

exposure is the dare

i never knew you cared

i’m choking on air

is there something you can say

to make the future okay

or was it all a trail of treats

in the grass of a park

the heart of a festival

there is a lost art

a long long time ago

the trees would speak

and if you leaned in close

they’d tell you everything

battered and bruised

i held on tight

i plucked you and lost you

abandoned in the night

with many backwards looks

i heard what you called

voiceless you cried

you will never come back

with a smile i nodded

returning is a paradox

if you’re in the past

cries are meant for bedrooms

whimpers behind palms

tears in the dark

no self without harm

there’s holes in my clothes

i can’t throw them away

what is comfortable

will not stay

i grow disant

i grow tired

how to give meaning

i'm not a liar

it's all empty

it will not stay

i only look

the other way

stay close 

please share your fire

my hands are outstretched

stay a while

hold me tight

bare your soul

what does it mean

to feel whole

but honestly

it’s all in vain

true nothing

eye open wide

no where to hide

if you can choose where to die

message lost in translation

fog from expectations

i can’t see my hands

in front of my face

they seek answers

the heart decays

bled until crazed

do i live for you

what does it mean

to be afraid

stick to the rules

to hesitate

to wait

snow falls in

freezing is the way

you’re not looking for after

not any more

consumed by laughter