Like people’s actions are data points rather than death sentences. It could even be a data point about you. It could be that you’re not being a great friend, it could be that there’s something you guys miscommunicated. Or it could be that they themselves don’t have the means to be consistent, aren’t in the headspace to meet you where you are, whatever. But this is always data rather than a judgment. Even if you’re the problem, behavior can change.

Btw this is coming from someone who used to beg for explanations, so I do feel like I’ve really grown into myself lately and I’m in a good headspace to speak about this! I really think it helped me to process people’s behavior (and even volatility) as data rather than anything else. Their behavior is giving you information. Take it as that. Take your time deciding what to do with that. There has never been a single situation where rushing to something (even if it’s rushing to reconcile with someone!!) has served me or made me feel better after the fact.