The Trash Heap

Me, reading from the Wikipedia article on honey badgers: "Because of the toughness and looseness of their skin, honey badgers are very difficult to kill with dogs. Their skin is hard to penetrate, and its looseness allows them to twist and turn on their attackers when held. The only safe grip on a honey badger is on the back of the neck. The skin is also tough enough to resist several machete blows. The only sure way of killing them quickly is through a blow to the skull with a club or a shot to the head with a gun, as their skin is almost impervious to arrows and spears." Dumpster husband: "wow, good thing Slytherin was the villain, can you imagine if the chamber of secrets had a giant honey badger? That'd be where the story fucking ended. Sword of Griffindor? Hufflepuff honey badger don't give a fuck." And now I'm pretty sure I know the real reason the Hufflepuff common room has never been entered by outsiders: honey badger mascot. His name is Smitty, and he don't give a fuck. He's gonna tear your face off for fun.