Ayyoo

heart shaped necklaces that say “find me in the future” “there you are sweetheart sorry i’m late i was looking everywhere for you”

the other day at work, i asked a woman her name– like i do for everyone, because we have to write it on the cup–and she goes “we come in here all the time. you should really know our names by now” as if i don’t serve hundreds of people a day or as though a nondescript middle aged white woman made such an impact upon me that i’d remember her. i was feeling pretty impatient and irritable though, so i covered my name tag with my hand and asked her my name and she didn’t know it and at least had the decency to change demeanor from haughty and superior to sort of quietly embarrassed and i’m fairly sure that’s the only thing i’ve ever done at work that matters to me. 

Weaponized incompetence my ass just weaponize it back. Once my dad tries to pull the “but I don’t know how to clean the counters as well as you” on my mom and she said “ok honey I’ll show you” and she made him stand in the kitchen and watch her clean the counters. Then she pulled out a bottle of chocolate syrup and proceeded to spray the entire kitchen in chocolate, hand him the sponge and said “okay now it’s your turn”

Keep trying stuff well into adulthood. I hated avacado in any form until I turned 30. Still hate mushroom texture but the flavor is good. Never could wrap my head around eating eel until I took a sushi making class and was like, fuck it, why not. If you're in the mood to try and the opportunity presents itself, give it a try. If you don't like it, spit it out and get something you do like.

very upset i can't find a specific cat sculpture I like

This is peak gen z humor. Incomprehensible. And yet somehow the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

that’s a tea maker

Time To Sin