'SUP

Just not gonna post w tags again, it's funny being termed feels like I lost all my progress, urge to lock in be strong today.

Stats:

(Job pays literal minimum wage, I dont like what I'm doing and dreading going in every day, would quit rn but have nothing lined up. Not dire, I just like having backup)

Theres a man (yes, a man, I have my hesitations but hear me out)

Hes saying all the right things, he's giving off a good vibe, almost everything is perfect and yet...

Its too tooooooo perfect. It's like he's in my brain. Weird level perfection.

Should I give him a chance?

I've known myself as ace for so long, the specificity of his convos seems fake, , there's no way he's real....

Been eating like a fucking golden retriever lately, so scared of the scale, finally got on....

Didn't gain a pound.

To experience, to feel, to remember what life is about outside of my stupid lil head.

I've been waking up wanting to throw myself off the aurora bridge (pnw peep wya).

I've been good, I've been off social media, I've taken hella walks every single day, I've eaten healthy, gotten medicated, taken supplements, fucking everything everybody has recommended for a better mindset. Basically anything besides going into bottomless debt trying to navigate the "mental health machine" NIGHTMARE that is the US health system.

Cheat day tomorrow, which works out perfect since I'm going to the mall for presents, I usually get like 30k steps and burn about 3kc so I won't feel too bad about eating my favs.