đ§ pairing. co-workers!jeonghan x reader.
đ§ social media au & epistolary (told through emails).
đ§ genres. alternate universe: non-idol, alternate universe: co-workers. romance, humor.
đ§ includes. mention of alcohol; suggestive language; profanity. workplace rivals, corporate jargon, engineering terms i definitely butchered, use of y/n l/n for e-mail purposes. title from noah kahanâs growing sideways; waaay too many kahan references, really. style and format insp. by cinnamorussellâs tell all your friends iâm crazy (iâll drive you mad).
đ§ notes. this is a bit long, but we ball. in one of my first conversations with @diamonddaze01, we dreamed up workplace rival yoon jeonghan. i offer it, now, as part of a month-long celebration for the person iâve dedicated a good quarter of my work to. tara, iâll never meet someone who wonât know about you. nanu ninnannu pritisuttene! đ
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jeonghaniyoo_n  if my engine works perfect on empty, guess iâll driveÂ
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vernonline woah indie ahhh caption
user1 Looking good, Jeonghan! Letâs catch up soon x
user2 who tha baddie in the back in the second slideee
âł sound_of_coups đ
âł user3 no the one on the right sry :/ â„ïž Liked by creator
user4 congrats to whoeverâs bouncing on it !
junhui_moon Aura 1000000%
âł jeonghaniyoo_n what language are you speaking
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yourusername  romanticizing life (before i go insane)Â
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user1 need to know where that phone case is from
user2 Are you EVER not working
dk_is_dokyeom THATâS MY GIRLBOSS â°(âââ)âŻ
âł yourusername â€ïž
user3 i wanna be you when i grow up <3
xuminghao_o Lovely â„ïž Liked by creator
I reviewed the validation draft you uploaded this morning. Fascinating interpretation of clause 4.3.2. Bold of you to skip the stability data appendix entirely. I can only assume it was an artistic choice.
Also, the raw tensile data from the 0528 batch isnât included. If it was meant to be in the shared drive, it wasnât in any of the usual folders (QA_Share > FR_Validation > tensile_data > missing_files > probably_Jeonghanâs).
Thank you for the prompt review. I assumed your obsession with clause 4.3.2 would outweigh your impulse to nitpick, but alasâsome things never change.
The stability data was excluded intentionally while awaiting results from the accelerated aging test. If you opened the protocol (second folder under QA_Share > FR_Validation > tensile_data > definitely_not_missing), youâd see that.
As for your edits, I appreciate the effort. Itâs cute when you pretend Excel likes you back.
Not that I expect you to read full briefs, but just in case you skimmed this one: yes, the transfer protocols need to be locked before next Friday if we want the France site to hit qualification by Q3.
Your last edits to the QAP template were inspired. I didnât know it was possible to confuse ISO 13485 with a haiku.
Iâve restructured the equipment IQ section. Youâre welcome. Youâll need to coordinate with Wonwoo at the Lyon site for vendor access, assuming you remember to email him this time.
Of course I read the brief. Just because I donât annotate every margin with red ink and superiority complexes doesnât mean I donât understand the deadline.
Iâll coordinate with Wonwoo, assuming you donât scare him off again with your charmingly blunt emails. (I still have the screenshot of him calling you âintimidatingly competent.â)
By the way, your IQ revisions look fine. Shockingly legible this time. Congratulations.
Iâll see you in Lyon. Try not to sabotage the coffee machine this trip.
If Wonwoo was intimidated, itâs because I sent him instructions written in complete sentences. A rare treat, I know.
You still havenât confirmed the calibration matrix. Weâll need the traceable certs before equipment ships, or do you plan to charm EU regulators into letting us slide on documentation? Actually, donât answer that. Iâve seen you talk to vendors.
Also: bring the correct adapter this time. Iâm not sharing an outlet with you again.
The calibration matrix is in the tracker: third tab, fourth column, next to the thing labeled âREAD ME, PLEASEâ Try it. Itâs fun.
And yes, I plan to charm the regulators. You, on the other hand, can stun them into compliance with your piercing PowerPoint transitions.
As for the outlet. Iâm bringing an adapter. And a surge protector. For reasons.
Looking forward to our time in France. Nothing says âteamworkâ like four days of jetlag and passive aggression.
Yours in regulatory purgatory,
Yoon Jeonghan
he/him
[email protected]
YJH đż (Work) [8:13 AM]: why do you type so aggressively. the guy next to me thinks youâre yelling at me
You [8:14 AM]: heâs not wrong.
YJH đż (Work) [8:15 AM]: did you really need three highlighters in your carry-on?
You [8:15 AM]: yes. the pink one is for your mistakes.
YJH đż (Work) [8:16 AM]: romantic
You [8:16 AM]: if you die on this trip itâs going to be from a highlighter to the throat.
YJH đż (Work) [8:17 AM]: worth it
You [8:17 AM]: you are the worst seatmate in existence.
YJH đż (Work) [8:18 AM]: you snore when you pretend not to be sleeping and your pointy elbow crosses the line
You [8:18 AM]: so weâre calling it a truce?
YJH đż (Work) [8:19 AM]: weâre calling it foreplay
⟠You have silenced Notifications.
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jeonghaniyoo_n  everything, everywhereÂ
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user1 oui oui đ
user2 Who are you wearing???
ho5hi_kwon surprised a murder hasnât occurred lolololol à° ââżâ à°
âł jeonghaniyoo_n not counting it out just yet
user3 WHATâS 4+4? ATEEE
user4 Is he a model?
âł sound_of_coups please donât say that his bed is going to get so big
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jeonghaniyoo_n  northern attitudesÂ
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user1 bwoah . . .
feat.dino STUNT ON THEM HOESSSS â„ïž Liked by creator
user2 gender gender gender đźâđš
user3 Really need to know where the second pic is !! Plsss DM
yourusername i see how it is
âł jeonghaniyoo_n credits. xo
Per our debrief notes (the ones not written on a cocktail napkin), Iâve uploaded the final QAP revisions and vendor qualification summaries to the shared drive. You can stop emailing me pictures of our hotel room as  âdocumentation.â Though impressive dedication to fieldwork.
Also, your expense report still lists the mini bar from Tuesday night. Pretty bold move, considering you insisted you only drank half the bottle.
Iâd fix my spacing if youâd stop adjusting my bullet styles just to mess with me. And next time, maybe donât volunteer us for the plant tour while hungover. Watching you nearly fall into a vat of solvent was not the regulatory impression we wanted.
Not my fault someone booked the hotel late and got us the romantic suite. Youâre lucky I didnât call room service for rose petals.
Iâve uploaded the final sign-offs and confirmation from the French regulatory contactâwho says weâre the most âthorough and theatrically matchedâ engineers sheâs worked with. I think thatâs a compliment.
Let me know if Iâve missed any appendices. Or if you want your highlighter back.
Yours, even if you deny me (hotel registration said so),
Yoon Jeonghan
he/him
[email protected]
P.S. I liked sharing the room with you. Not because of budget errors or international confusion. Just because it was you.
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yourusername  good week đ·
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user1 GIVE US A FIT CHECK
user2 something youâre not telling me ? hmmm
âł yourusername dm dm dm
user3 Need to know who yr nail tech girlie is fr
everyone_woo đ
âł yourusername đ€«
sunwoo pretty flowers 4 a pretty girl â„ïž Liked by creator
Believe me, the feeling is mutual. I'd sooner date a malfunctioning tensile tester.
I fixed your math in the timeline estimates. Again. Please donât bother me for the rest of the week. Iâm going to be busy preparing for date number two.
You [11:42 PM]: he ghosted me. u jinxed it.
You [11:43 PM]: i shaved my legs for nothing. hope ur happy.
You [11:44 PM]: he said he liked my slides. he LIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You [11:45 PM]: sitting alone at a bar rn contemplating the meaning of life.. and if i can blow u up telepahteitcally....
YJH đż (Work) [11:45 PM]: *telepathically
YJH đż (Work) [11:46 PM]: which bar.
You [11:47 PM]: fucking MANSPLAINER
You [11:47 PM]: donât come near me EVEREVER
YJH đż (Work) requested your location.
You started sharing your location with YJH đż (Work).
You [11:50 PM]: fuckfcuckfuckity my fat fucking thumbs FMLLL
YJH đż (Work) [11:53 PM]: iâm coming. donât order tequila until i get there. or do. i want to see the disaster myself.
You [11:55 PM]: jerk
YJH đż (Work) [11:56 PM]: always. save me a seat, heartbreak girl
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jeonghaniyoo_n  keep the bad shit in my liver and the rest around my heart
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user1 Caption + second slide >>>>
joshu_acoustic is that yourusername in the last slide đ«š
âł jeonghaniyoo_n is it ? yourusername
âł yourusername must be a lookalike â„ïž Liked by creator
âł dk_is_dokyeom THATâS ME yourusername & min6yu_k !!! á” á” á”
user2 just one chance pls,,
user3 Wait was that a wine date or
Your revised equipment validation timeline looks solid. Iâve flagged the dates where QRA and process requal overlap. Youâll need to talk to Ops to make sure thereâs no resource conflict.
Also, thanks. For the other night.
Donât make a thing out of it.
Reluctantly yours,
L/N Y/N
she/her
[email protected]Â
Noted on the QRA overlapâIâll sync with Ops and shift our timeline by 2-3 business days. Iâve attached a revised Gantt for your very critical review.
Also: you owe me fries.
Yours with no reluctance whatsoever,
Yoon Jeonghan
he/him
[email protected]
P.S. Donât let your guard down. Iâd hate for you to start thinking Iâm nice.
P.P.S. Youâre beautiful when drunk. Infuriating, but beautiful.
Attached: my comments on your Gantt chart (see rows 14â27). Also, your font choices are unhinged. Youâre lucky youâre marginally good at your job.
Fries are contingent on you not mentioning the karaoke.
Sober now,
L/N Y/N
she/her
[email protected]
P.S. Youâre nice when you think Iâm too drunk to remember.
P.S. I remember everything you said. Even the parts you donât.
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yourusername  new perspective
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user1 fly safe, babygirl
user2 ermmm.. am i witnessing a soft launch ?!
min9yu_k Iâd know that YSL bag from anywhere đ
user3 How can I be youuu :(
user4 is that a BOYFRIEND?!
junhui_moon strategic non-response to any of the comments here #respect
Attached: updated protocol outline and projected data submission window. Added notes re: temperature excursions flagged by the lab.
Unrelated, but I saw your latest post. Interesting how you managed to frame the lighting just right on that cafe table. Almost as if someone you work with took the photo.
Also, bold choice uploading a cropped version of that one picture of me holding five tote bags. Very âsoft launch,â very subtle.
The humidity chamber failed mid-run and half of the accelerated aging samples are compromised. Iâll need to retest from baseline and revalidate the controls. Not sure yet if it pushes our submission, but Iâm flagging it with QA.
I suggest you review section 6.2 of the protocol instead of obsessing over my Instagram.
Didnât mean to distract. I hadnât seen the alert yet. Engineering just looped me in on the chamber issue. Iâll prioritize sourcing backup samples and contact Tech Ops to check chamber calibration across all zones.
Youâll have data. Weâll make it work.
(But if you were soft-launching me, I looked great.)
I just really didnât want this run to go sideways. I know itâs not your faultâbut Iâve been fielding calls since 7:00 a.m. and Iâm a little fried.
You can yell at me any time. Preferably not before coffee, but Iâll survive.
QA says theyâll expedite sample disposal so we can start the new batch by end of week. I sent you a revised Gantt. And a snack. Donât fight me on it.
Yours in whatever way youâll have me,
Yoon Jeonghan
he/him
[email protected]
P.S. Internet speculation is already intense. Iâve received two DMs inquiring if Iâm truly off the market. Is this your twisted little way of staking claim?
For the record, I wasnât arguing. I was advocating for consistent formatting.
Also: Iâm sorry. For earlier. I shouldâve checked the system alerts before joking around. You always catch things first, and I forget what itâs like to be under that kind of pressure all the time.
Let me know what else you need. I mean it.
Yours for equally no reason (I bookmarked the first time you signed off with âyoursâ, btw),
Yoon Jeonghan
he/him
[email protected]
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yourusername  needed coffeeÂ
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sound_of_coups đŁ Hook, line, sinker
user1 can this guy fight omfg
user2 Even his side view is ethereal. What the hale
vernonline okurrr â„ïž Liked by jeonghaniyoo_n
 Ⳡyourusername ?
jeonghaniyoo_n wasnât aware i had paparazzi
 Ⳡpledis_boos IS THIS ALLOWEDDD IS THIS ALLOWED
I realize this is past hours. I wonât pretend itâs an emergencyâitâs just the draft for the stability test realignment we discussed. I needed to get it out of my head or I wouldnât sleep. It can wait until morning. I just didnât want to forget.
Sorry. Again. Sleep well, or party well, or whatever it is youâre doing tonight.
The drinks are terrible. The lighting is flattering. Iâve technically pulled, but sheâs more interested in the bartender now, which is fine becauseâ
I miss you. You, and your midnight overthinking, and your Excel color codes, and the way you always say âdonât wait upâ but still check your inbox five minutes later.
Pray tell why you're getting drunk and you're "pulling" what I can assume to be ABGs whose names you won't even know in the morning, and yet you're still in the club, emailing me? Missing my drunken emails?
Why? Are the girls of Wall Street not enough for you?
I can feel you overthinking all the way from here. Youâre probably thinking that Iâll wake up tomorrow morning and regret all of this. That I will be unable to face you at work come Monday, when I am no longer drunk out of my mind and thinking you are the most brilliant, most gorgeous, most infuriating person alive.Â
You will be right. Thankfully, though, these areâwhat do the kids call it? âReceiptsâ. You will have a paper trail. These emails will be between you, me, and that Australian guy from IT.Â
He will know, and you will know, that I may have the most miniscule work crush on you.Â
Jesus Christ. What am I? A high schooler?Â
Letâs try that again: Love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. What Iâm feeling for you isnât love. Itâs so much more than that.
Love sucks, and I need to sober up,
Yoon Jeonghan
he/him
[email protected]
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jeonghaniyoo_n  you got all my love
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vernonline lfggg
min9yu_k đ€ź JK! Congrats
junhui_moon saw this coming from a mile away
sound_of_coups Gorgeousss
 Ⳡjeonghaniyoo_n back off, bud.
dk_is_dokyeom (˶ Ë ÂłË)Ëá” Ë˶) love is love
everyone_woo oh god what about our project
 Ⳡyourusername please check your e-mail. :)
 Ⳡeveryone_woo fml.
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yourusername  dreaming each night of this version of you :)
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xuminghao_o Not seeing yjh in suits is disconcerting
ho5hi_kwon RAH RAH RAH RAHHH
woozi_universefactory đ
 Ⳡjeonghaniyoo_n JIHOON?????????????
pledis_boos U CAN DO BETTER THAN HIM GIRL
joshua_acoustic So happy for you two!
feat.dino my otp fr
jeonghaniyoo_n mine â„ïž Liked by creator
 Ⳡyourusername yours,
Honestly I'd be the happy IT guy who knows everybody's shit witnessing their romance unfold thru work emails, and probably be lowkey envious too LOL. The concept and storyline are so well-put and go along together perfectleeyyâconcise but packed with so much personality iykwimđŁ office romance has a special place in my heart (and paired with this format! I've missed it so bad) ugh something bout the professional workplace setting, the subtlety of all, and the buzzwords that just does it for me Do U Guys Feel Me!? Never mind me not understanding half of it
I could probably tolerate being flirted with professionally if they can pull it off bahahqha. May this kind of romance be sent through in my dry-ass heap of inbox ;((
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Themes: smut, romance, college au, strangers to lovers
There's a guy on campus who girls go to for stress relief. Sleazy bastard, but he obviously knows what he's doing. When everything becomes too stressful for you, you decide you wanna do the same. Just a one time thing. Meaningless sex.
it's simple: jeonghan knows he's a flirt, but didn't realize you flirting back was the key to breaking him.
Ring Master | @sailorsoons
w.c: 5,383
Themes: fantasy, smut
A mysterious circus arrives in the middle of the night at the edge of town. You and your friends go to enjoy the show, but you stay for the mysterious ring master.
paris | @amourcheol
w.c: 50k
Themes: classic romance, angst, fluff, smut, exes to lovers
You and Jeonghan, jazz-filled corners, hidden history, and the city of love.
the pact | @hannieween
w.c: 13.6k
Themes: supernatural, fluff, angst, smut, demon hunter jeonghan x demon reader, forbidden love, established relationship
kiss and make up | @etherealyoungk
w.c: 6.7k
Themes: fluff, workplace romance
it's simple, you and jeonghan can't each other. but then you both get stuck working on a project together. so wheen you get fed up with his antics, you do something you don't expect to-you kiss him. but what happens after that?
Track Him | @nightshao
w.c: 13.3k
Themes: dark romance, mystery, smut
You realise someone's been following you âbut when a private investigator steps in to help, it becomes clear the stalker isn't after money or lust at all.. he's trying to protect you from something worse.
back to you | @woncheolisms
w.c: 3.4k
Themes: dark romance, smut, mafia au, toxic relationship
it doesn't matter if you run away. jeonghan will find you, and he will bring you back.
Poison | @makeitworse
w.c: 16.7k
Themes: mystery, thriller, smut, college au
there's no quitting jeonghan once his love's in your veins, in spite of the blood he must spill to stay there.
my guardian demon sucks at his job | @shuaflix
w.c: 23,610
Themes: supernatural, fluff, romance, angst, smut, demon x mortal
just when you thought your luck couldn't get any worse, you accidentally manage to summon an ancient demon prince named jeonghan out of a scrap of paper from your statistics textbook. now, you're tasked with figuring out how to return your so-called "guardian demon" back to where he came from before he can stir up more trouble.
the odds | @dxnheng
w.c: 9.7k
Themes: romance, angst, action, best friends to lovers, fake dating
in which you and yoon jeonghan, the tributes from district four, must fake being madly in love in order to ensure your survival. only, it seems like the odds are never in your favour.
Thereâs a guy on campus who girls go to for stress relief. Sleazy bastard, but he obviously knows what heâs doing. When everything becomes too stressful for you, you decide you wanna do the same. Just a one time thing. Meaningless sex.
You never banked on him getting attached to you.
wc: 7.6k
warnings: college au, physiotherapy student!jeonghan, medical student!reader, reader is an overthinker and tends to spiral, fuck boy!jeonghan, pussy drunk!jeonghan, smut, nsfw, multiple orgasms, oral (fem!receiving), fingering, semi (?) public sex, both of them are horny as fuck
masterlist
Some part of you wishes you had stayed illiterate all your life. Itâs the same part that loathes the thought of early morning classes, endless labs, assignments and presentations. Clinic hours. Procedure logbooks. Fuck, itâs just neverending. At any given point in time, you have at least six different things going on, all of them top most priority. Which isnât possible. The top most priority can only ever be one thing. Thatâs what the word âpriorityâ means. You canât have six priorities, it isnât possible-
âDo you have a copy of tomorrowâs case for discussion?â Jihyo sounds like sheâs about ready to cry. Not surprising to you at all, because youâre the same right now. You blink at your laptop screen a few times, trying to get out of your own head. Long, rambling thoughts have always been your biggest vice. And you do it even more when youâre stressed.
You grab a sheet of paper on your bed next to you and lean over the side of it, meeting Jihyo halfway from her own bed.
âThanks.â She mumbles, looking down at the sheet. She reads it over once, twice, then one more time, before her distraught eyes meet yours.
âWhatâs the diagnosis?â
You shrug.
Jihyo nearly wails, scratching at her head. âI canât do this shit. God, Iâm going to kill someone.â
You canât even laugh. Youâre too stuck on the presentation open on your own laptop, trying to make the font small enough to fit everything on it, but not so small that it canât be seen. Itâs proving to be way more difficult than you thought.
âCome on. Weâre going to grab dinner.â She swings her legs over the bed, ignoring the many papers scattered around her as they wrinkle under the movement. You donât even question it, clicking âSaveâ on the presentation a comical number of times to make sure you wonât lose it, then following Jihyoâs footsteps.
Itâs colder outside than you anticipated, but it still feels nice. The goosebumps on your skin wake you up a bit, which you desperately need after the fog youâve been under for the last few hours. Realistically, you know that neither you nor Jihyo can afford to take time off. But enough is enough. You need a break, even if it means you will crash and burn tomorrow.
The campus dorms are separate from the actual university, located across the road from it and scattered over a large area. Every building is more wide than it is tall, only three stories but sprawling over a large area. Medicine, Dentistry, Nursing and Physiotherapy. The backbone of the future healthcare system. When you walk past the park, thereâs a small bonfire going on, surrounded by many cheering students egging on three guys holding kegs.
Yup, backbone of the future healthcare system.
Right outside the gated walls of the dorms are many places to eat, catered especially for the thousands of students beside them. You and Jihyo are standing on the sidewalk, wondering what you are in the mood for eating, when a familiar face catches your eye.
âCanât work either?â Mina smiles, giving you both hugs. Jihyo pouts and shakes her head.
âDo you know the diagnosis for tomorrowâs case?â
Their voices fade as they continue to talk, and you stare off into space. One half of your brain is wondering if you want pizza or something Chinese. The other part is contemplating cutting some info from your presentation so you can fit it on the slide. Someone nudges you, and when you blink back to the present, both Jihyo and Mina are looking at you.
âWhatâs up with you?â Mina asks.
âNothing.â You reply almost automatically.
Jihyo huffs and rolls her eyes. âSheâs been like this for days, just checking out.â
Mina frowns. âThatâs not like you at all.â
âSorry.â You sigh. âIâm just stressed.â
âYou need to take more breaks.â
âDoesnât help.â Jihyo has her arms crossed and sheâs shaking her head. âSheâs still thinking of work. I guarantee you sheâs thinking about that presentation she has due tomorrow. Arenât you?â
Caught red handed. You feel your face grow warm and you pout. ââŠâŠ No.â
Jihyo snorts and Mina laughs a little. You sigh defeatedly.
âCan we just eat?â
The three of you end up at the first place you can see, a small diner where you order burgers, fries and milkshakes. Any food thatâs greasy enough to take your mind off the mountains of stuff you have left unfinished. Mina watches you closely as you stare out the window.
âYou need to relieve stress.â She says. You hum noncommittally.
âThanks for the suggestion. I never wouldâve known I had to do that.â
Jihyo snorts and elbows you. Mina doesnât seem fazed.
âI have a solution, but I donât think our goody little princess will take it.â
That gets your attention. Youâve always hated being perceived as that. Sure, youâre mostly a homebody. You donât like attending parties too much unless you know a lot of people there, which is almost never. You like spending most of your time in front of a screen, and youâre not very athletic either. You havenât had anything remotely romantic since university started, even though all your friends have indulged in hookups. And because of all this, since the start of university, youâve been branded as the kind of risk averse girl who doesnât really enjoy anything fun. You know itâs all in jest. Your friends love you very much. But it still irritates you.
âWhat is it?â You ask. You know sheâs baiting you, but you want to know anyway.
âThereâs this guy in DPT,â she begins, âTotally flaky. Kind of full of himself. But heâs amazing in bed.â
Jihyoâs already in a fit of giggles. She obviously knows who Mina is talking about. You frown.
âOkay. So?â
Mina leans forward, her elbows on the table. âHe jokingly put an ad up on the university Facebook group a while ago. OfferingâŠ.. servicesâŠâŠ to any girl thatâs interested. It got taken down almost immediately but apparently it actually became a thing, because Iâve heard a lot of girls say heâs always down to hook up as stress relief if you ask.â
By this point, your mouth has dropped open in shock and a small amount of disgust. Both Jihyo and Mina have stupid grins on their faces.
âSo heâs a glorified prostitute.â
Mina gasps âHe is not! Heâs a good guy, actually. A little sleazy but, arenât all college guys like that? Also, itâs not like heâs asking for payment.â
You gawk at her. âOh my god, you too?â
She holds her hands up in defense. âAnatomy was really difficult last year, okay?â
You groan and lean down, forehead hitting the table with a dull thunk. Jihyo laughs.
âThank you for the suggestion.â You give Mina a withering look. âBut Iâm fine.â
Mina shrugs. âIâm just saying, he's really good. And heâd probably blow your virgin mind.â
Your face flames. âIâm not a virgin.â
âEight second sex doesnât count.â
Jihyo is nearly doubled over, face red with laughter. You thank every god in the universe when your food finally arrives.
Mina is wrong, objectively. You arenât a virgin. In fact, you had a boyfriend in high school. You took each otherâs virginities. Of course he came in eight seconds, it was his first time. The fact that you never had sex again and he broke up with you a month afterwards didnât change anything. You are not a virgin.
No one says anything to you after that day, but the thought annoyingly lingers. You cannot believe a guy would just do that. And even more shocking that girls would agree to hook up with someone who has a reputation like that. Another notion plagues you: how good is he in bed to even have all these girls keep coming to him?
Fuck. These are dangerous thoughts. Especially for someone like you, who can spiral in your mind so easily. And almost like sugar on top, with every passing day, work keeps ramping up. You retreat farther and farther in your mind, thoughts racing and contorting from one shape to another, taking up lives of their own, and before you know it, youâre wondering. What if you were to hook up with this guy too?
In every sense of the word, you are stressed. You donât know what he does, but it clearly works. Maybe you can take just one night and instead of stuffing your face with greasy food as an outlet, you can have sex. It sounds like an intriguing option.
Maybe it will shut your friends up about you being a prude.
Tracking DPT people isnât easy as someone in Medicine, and especially as someone in Medicine who doesnât know more than four people and would rather set herself on fire than talk to new faces. Luckily, those four friends of yours are insanely well connected. Thereâs no way in hell youâre asking Mina. You wonât give her that satisfaction. So when you call Mingyu about what Mina told you, he has a name for you immediately.
âYoon Jeonghan.â He says over the phone. Behind him, you can hear a lot of talking and laughing. Heâs likely at a party. On a weekday. Figures. âReally cool guy. Iâll send you his number.â
âThat would be great.â You reply.
âY/N, are you sure about this?â
You immediately go rigid. âWhy? Is he suspicious?â
Thereâs a small silence before Mingyu snorts. âYou know what, this is good. You need this. Desperately.â
You donât like his implication, so you just hang up. He sends you Jeonghanâs number mere minutes later, and you reply with a middle finger emoji. He only sends you kissy faces back.
Once you click on Jeonghanâs number and stare at the blank text box, youâre at a loss. What do you even say to him? How do these things go? You really donât want to ask Mingyu again. He already thinks youâre a loser (affectionately).
You end up sending a small text introducing yourself and telling him which department you are from. He replies around ten minutes later.
[yoon jeonghan]: what can I do for you?
Now youâre at a true loss. What do you say? You type and erase, type and erase for many agonising minutes. Then, another text comes up.
[yoon jeonghan]: im in B wing. DPT. last door on the second floor.
You blink a few times, staring at his text. Fuck, he knows. You feel a little embarrassed, but you think this is more of a reflection of him than it is of you, so you just shut your phone and scramble to get dressed.
Half an hour later, youâre climbing the steps of an unfamiliar building across campus, feeling nervous and jumpy. Your eyes dart around your new surroundings rapidly, but no one is really wandering around. Itâs a weekday, so thereâs not much activity. The corridors are easy enough to navigate, and you find the room at the end of the hallway very quickly. You shake your hands out, breaths coming irregularly. This is so out of left field for you, and half your mind canât even process that you would do something so impulsive. Youâre not this person at all. But what can you say? Medical school hath changed you.
You knock on the door so quietly that you immediately wonder if you should knock again. He probably didnât hear it. Youâre just thinking of doing it again when the door swings open, catching you off guard. You freeze.
Heâs tall, and kind of skinny looking in his oversized t-shirt. But he has this gorgeous, jet black hair that falls down the sides of his face in effortless waves. Hell, it looks even better than your hair freshly out of the salon. He has pretty, almond eyes, a thin nose bridge, and lips so plump that you immediately wonder what they would feel like.
Okay. You get the appeal now.
âYou must be Y/N.â
Your head jerks with a nod. âJeonghan?â
He smiles, and it nearly takes your breath away. God, heâs painfully attractive. He looks you up and down in a way that makes you want to turn around and book it immediately.
âIn the flesh. Come in, sweetheart.â
You can feel the back of your neck burn hot at the petname. No one has ever called you that. You step in hesitantly, looking around. Itâs a cubicle, with a single bed, a desk, and a wardrobe. Lucky him, he doesnât have to share with a roommate. You donât know anyone in the Medicine building who has a single room. Damn physiotherapy people and their many perks.
Itâs surprisingly neat. Thereâs a gaming setup on the desk, a lot of wires, but theyâre all stacked neatly. Thereâs a few books on the side tables and on the floor next to the desk. The bed is made. Thereâs some posters on the walls. The room has a lot of character. It catches you a little off guard. You donât know what you were expecting. Maybe a shady dungeon with chains and a mattress as hard as stone.
Jeonghan watches you expectantly. You fidget.
âI- I heard⊠I mean, someone told me. About- about you.â
He hums, and you can see the amusement on his face, the corner of his lip ticked up just a little bit. You wish the ground could swallow you whole. He huffs out a laugh.
âShouldâve known youâd be shy. You couldnât even say it over text.â
Your face burns more. You avoid his eyes. When he walks closer, your heart races. You nearly jump away in shock when he leans down, nosing at your hair, brushing over your neck.
âShould we loosen you up a bit?â
Your heart is beating so fast it makes you a little dizzy. He smells really good up close. Fragrant aftershave and something like pine. Your mouth drops open when his lips press to the skin below your ear.
âYes?â He whispers.
âYes.â You breathe.
Your consent is all he needs, large hands brushing over your hips before moving up to grip your sides. He presses more kisses over your neck, then up your jaw. Something twinges in your lower stomach, making your insides clench. Your heart is pounding so loud you are scared he will feel it through your rib cage. He keeps traveling up, until his lips brush the corner of your mouth. You turn your head with an instinct that surprises even you, and he hums in approval.
That first kiss makes your knees buckle. Luckily, his hands are giving you enough support to keep you from collapsing. Itâs languid, like heâs taking his time with you, and yes, his lips are just as soft as you imagined. His nose nudges yours, making you tilt your head and deepen the kiss. You canât help your moan, hands fisting his shirt. You can feel his smile on your lips.
When he pulls away, you have to blink furiously to compose yourself. He watches you closely, like heâs trying to figure you out. But you should be the one doing that, if your brain wasnât completely scrambled right now. You need him to kiss you again, so you lean up on your tiptoes towards him. He chuckles.
The second kiss is even more charged, though you didnât think that was possible. His tongue comes out to play this time, and you arch into him at the feeling. His hands have become more daring too, exploring your body. He squeezes your ass a little, digs into the plush of your hips. He fiddles with your shirt until heâs coaxing you to put your arms up, pulling it off you. You feel shy suddenly, but he doesnât seem to notice, going back to kissing you, and his lips wipe away any hesitation that you might have.
He plays with the clasp of your bra a bit, running his fingers over the straps. It sends shivers up your spine. He finally undoes it and pulls it off. He disconnects your lips enough to look down at your chest, whistling low.
âPretty.â He says. You flush hard, tugging at his own shirt.
When Jeonghan pulls it off, youâre a little surprised. Heâs not nearly as skinny as he looks when heâs swimming in his loose clothes. Heâs lean, nicely carved muscle, just enough meat on him to feel good when your hands begin exploring. He lets you, doesnât even flinch when you run your fingers over his abs. Your eyes dart further down, and you can see his erection over his sweatpants. You bite your lip.
âHow do you want me, pretty?â He asks, lips running lazily over your shoulder. You flush.
âI- I donât know.â
He pulls away at that a little, looking at you curiously. âYou have done this before, right?â
You scowl. âOf course I have!â
âOkay.â He placates you, hands running up and down your bare sides. âSo how do you want it? I can eat you out. Or do you just wanna fuck?â
Well, shit. You didnât expect him to say all that. Youâre caught off guard by how vulgar his words are, by how hot he sounds talking like this. Like itâs nothing. Fuck, youâve never been eaten out before. Are you even ready for something like that? But then again, from what you can see as you look nervously down at his bulge, heâs not exactly small. Mina was right. Eight second sex really doesnât count. Thereâs no way you can take all of this.
Jeonghan laughs lightly as he follows your gaze before humming and nodding. He goes back to kissing your shoulder and neck.
âIâve got you. Just relax.â
Thatâs exactly what youâre struggling to do, but you donât tell him that. He walks you both backward until youâre pushing yourself up the mattress to the head of the bed, him on top of you. His fingers curl into the waistband of your jeans and panties before pulling both of them down in one go. You flush at the thought of being completely naked now, his eyes running over you. Thereâs a heat in them that you didnât expect, but welcome it regardless. It really does look like he wants you. You donât know how much of it is an act, or if he really thinks youâre worth looking at like this.
He kisses over your ankle before traveling up slowly, laying his lips on your skin every few beats until he reaches the apex of your thighs. This is entirely new territory for you. Even the thought of a guy down there is mortifying, so yes, maybe your friends arenât too far off in their assumptions of you. Itâs so hot in theory, but here, now, in practice, youâre so nervous it makes every muscle in your body stiffen. Maybe this it too-
You yelp when you feel it, his lips brushing over your slit. Jeonghan is taken aback, pulling away and blinking up at you from between your legs. Itâs a strange sight, strange enough to knock you out of your thoughts. He breathes out a laugh.
âEither youâre very distracted, or you really havenât done this before.â
You peer down at him, held up by your elbows so you can look properly. You hesitate before sighing.
âI havenât.â You mumble, but youâre quick to clarify. âI didnât lie. Iâve- Iâve had sex. But no oneâs everâŠ.. Iâve never had-â
âWell thatâs a shame.â Jeonghan mumbles. He runs his hands over your inner thighs, slow strokes that loosen your muscles a little bit. He thumbs at your outer lips and you flush deeply, but itâs nothing compared to what he says next.
âAnyone who got close enough to have sex with you but didnât eat out your pretty pussy mustâve been a real asshole.â
He kisses your folds, sucking on them a little. Your mouth drops and your elbows give out, back hitting the mattress. God, this is way hotter than it needs to be. Heâs probably just saying all this to make you relax a little and get it over with. You feel something hot, wet and alive run over your lips again before dipping inside, lazily licking over where youâre most sensitive. He tongues at your clit until you let out your first moan. His grip on your thighs, holding you open, tightens.
âThatâs it.â He whispers. âJust relax.â
Never in a million years did you think head would feel this good, but Jeonghan shatters all your illusions. Heâs so meticulous, discovering parts of you that you didnât even know could feel good when stimulated. He has no shame about it either. He moans into you when you try to close your legs around his head, or when your fingers thread through his hair. His tongue dips inside you too, swirling, before pulling out and licking upward so he can suck on your clit some more. You get close to your high embarrassingly quickly, and youâre nearly crying when you warn him about it. He only keeps going, consistent in his pace, until youâre jerking and shuddering, cumming hard in his mouth. He doesnât slow until youâre desperately pushing him away, overstimulated.
âFuck.â His voice is raspy, ragged. His face is drenched. You can see, even through your teary vision, that his pupils are dilated. âThat was so hot, the way you came on my tongue.â
You flush, not knowing what to say. Youâre still trying to catch your breath. You jerk back when Jeonghanâs thumb runs over your abused clit. He smirks.
âYou gotta do that again for me, pretty. I need to feel that again. On my fingers this time.â
Heâs leaning over you before you can even process his words. He presses his forehead to yours, and you feel something prod at your entrance.
âOh, fuck.â You arch when a solitary finger slips inside you. Youâre definitely wet enough, between your orgasm and his spit, so thereâs next to no resistance. Jeonghan watches you closely, too closely. You try to turn your head, feeling shy, and he only chuckles, curling his finger inside you. You shriek when something zips through your core.
âFound it.â He grins. Itâs so sleazy but so hot. God, is this why your girls are lining up for him?
He sinks another finger inside you before curling it up to the same spot, and this time, you see stars. You writhe and tremble under him, feeling so full with just this. He fucks the soul out of you with his fingers, moving rapidly while his thumb rubs over your clit. The noises turn wetter, sloppier, and Jeonghan bites his bottom lip as he watches you fall apart under him.
Your second orgasm is quicker but even more intense, leaving you near speechless. You canât even make a sound, mouth open in a silent cry as you feel blood rush roar in your ears. You seize and shudder so much it feels almost animalistic. He doesnât seem to mind at all.
âJeonghan.â You weep, grabbing his wrist when itâs too much. Well, it was too much from the minute he put his mouth on you, but two orgasms in, you genuinely feel like youâre about to faint.
âMy name sounds so sweet from your lips, pretty.â He says. He keeps calling you that, and it makes your heart race a little. You just turn your head to the side. Youâre too bashful to even look at him. He lays a soft kiss on your cheek.
âYou want more?â
The thought of more makes your heartbeat pick up again. You turn back to him a little, nose nudging against his. He knows he has your attention. He smirks.
âCome on, tell me. You want my cock?â
Your pussy clenches. You bite your lower lip. Jeonghan thumbs at it, releasing it from your teeth. You nod timidly. He chuckles again.
âGotta do better than that, pretty. Ask for it like a good girl.â
The thought of saying it out loud lights your face on fire. Your hands fist the sheets, and you feel so nervous. Jeonghan watches you closely in that unnerving way of his. Then, he pushes down, and you feel his hard on press into your cunt, right between your spread legs. Your jaw goes slack.
He wastes no time in slipping his tongue into your mouth. Itâs messy and filthy, all tongues and teeth, and he grinds slowly into you, over and over. Heâs hard as a rock, throbbing even through the thin material of his pants. You clench pathetically around nothing. You canât take it anymore.
âWant your cock.â You whine into his mouth. âPlease fuck me.â
Jeonghan giggles, honest to god giggles, into the kiss. âSo polite. How can I say no?â
When he finally shucks off his pants, your head spins a bit. Heâs way bigger than your ex, longer, and he curves just at the tip in a way that you know will feel so good when he slides into you. Thereâs a large, pulsing vein running up the underside that makes your mouth water a little bit. Never before have you felt the urge to suck a dick until now.
A lot of firsts happening today.
Jeonghanâs eyes are locked on yours as he pumps himself, long fingers wrapped gracefully around his shaft. You watch him with a look of fascination that amuses him, you can see it on his face. He dips his fingers inside you again and you jerk a little. When he pulls out, theyâre wet and sticky. He runs them over his cock. Youâre shell shocked at his brazen action, and he smirks. Is he just doing all this to see how far he can push you?
When he finally sinks into you, every single thought in your head goes blank. All that incessant thinking and worrying for so many months becomes muted until thereâs nothing but static, and the beat of your own heart. You canât process it, can barely breathe through it. He stretches you like heâs carving a path for himself, dragging over your walls. By the time he sinks all the way to the base, you feel like you can feel him in your throat.
âHoly shit.â He curses, and you see his face crumple in real time, the first sign of his composure breaking. You canât even moan. You have no air in your lungs.
âYou sure youâre not a virgin, pretty? So tight, squeezing the life out of me.â His voice cracks at the end, and he bites his bottom lip hard.
âMove.â You manage to gasp out, hips jerking. He chuckles.
âHold on. I donât wanna cum too quick.â
Now that gives you PTSD. Jeonghan takes a few deep breaths, his chest rising and falling. He toys with your clit, like heâs trying to get you to relax around him a bit. Finally, he pulls out and thrusts back in, hard. Any air you may have finally breathed, he knocks right back out.
He sets a fast pace from the start, thrusts hard and deep inside you. You barely have the chance to miss him before the head of is dick is pressing into your sweet spot again, stroking it with even more force than his fingers previously had. You feel so full, like youâre ready to explode just from the force of the pounding youâre taking. You claw at the sheets, and when that isnât enough, you claw at his arms that frame both sides of your head. His eyes move between your face and your pussy, watching you swallow him greedily, over and over again.
âJesus, where have you been hiding?â He chokes out. âCanât believe I missed out on this cunt for so long.â
âGod.â You whine, eyes teary. âDonât stop.â
He shakes his head and grins. âWouldnât dream of it, baby. Not until I milk all that stress out of you.â
Frankly, you canât even remember what you were stressed about. You can barely string two words together except a mantra of Jeonghanâs name over and over. Your orgasm is no surprise, body locking and cumming hard around him, walls fluttering desperately as you cry and gasp through it. Jeonghan groans long and low, eyes squeezing shut before his thrusts turn sloppy. It takes a few more hard slams of his pelvis into yours before heâs pulling out and shooting ropes of his cum all over your stomach. He pumps himself through it, breathing hard, and you can see his shoulders shake, glistening with sweat.
What a sight.
The come down is dizzying. Jeonghan pulls his clothes on quickly before he grabs a towel and leaves the room, coming back with it wet enough for you to wipe yourself with it. You feel awkward as you dress yourself again. Jeonghan flops down on the bed with a tired sigh. You shift on your feet when youâre done.
âIâll- Iâll go.â
A slow smile spreads on his face. âDonât get all shy on me now.â
You shake your head and frown. âIâm not. I just donât know what to say.â
He laughs, nodding. Just before you turn to leave, he gives you a wink.
âText me any time.â
âŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠ.
Jeonghanâs stress relief programme works wonders for you.
You spend the next week practically buzzing. Your body is a little sore, not enough to actually notice, but enough to keep you alert. The night you come back from his room, you manage to crank out every assignment due in the week because youâre so desperate to not let your mind wander to what you just did. The next day, you get started on work from the coming week. Jihyo is so surprised when she asks you for help and you send her notes that are neat and well compiled.
âAre you taking something?â She narrows her eyes at you. âRitalin?â
You roll your eyes. âJust say thank you.â
She grumbles out a âthanksâ. You canât tell her about Jeonghan. You just donât have it in you to share that. Your night with him was beyond anything you had experienced before. You know it was casual. Youâre sure you would never see him again. So you dont want to make it a big deal by talking about it.
Except, you run into him organically soon after this.
A week and a half later, on a Friday night, you are lounging in bed with a textbook. Youâre almost caught up with work, enough that you can take a breather and do some light reading instead. Unfortunately, this gives Jihyo the perfect opportunity to drag you out of the room, claiming you have no excuse to stay home because you donât have anything due. Dammit.
The party you end up at is outside the dorms at a house a few blocks away. You canât tell who threw it, but there are a lot of Med and DPT people there. When you see Mingyu standing in the center of the room chugging a bottle, you roll your eyes.
âWhen does he even get time to study?â You mumble when Jihyo shoves a red cup in your hands. You sniff it and make a face. Disgusting.
âDunno. But he manages just fine, so donât worry about him. In fact, you need to shut your brain off for once.â
Before you can reply, sheâs throwing her drink back and grabbing another, leading you farther into the room. Mingyu spots you two quickly, and itâs all chaos from there. He knows almost everyone, and he introduces you to people at lightning speed. You wonât remember any of them, but you just nod and smile along. When he reaches the couches in the living room, your heart skips.
âYou know Jeonghan.â Mingyu grins, arm around your shoulder shaking you teasingly.
The man in question is sprawled over one corner of the long couch, and his eyes find yours almost immediately. He looks stunning even in the dim light. His hair is half up and half down, some of it falling over his eyes. Heâs dressed in all black, and his leather jacket makes him look dangerously inviting. His eyes run over you in a way that makes you shiver. You shouldâve worn something warmer. A crop top and skirt were not the way to go.
âWhat do you mean she knows him?â Jihyo frowns. You stiffen.
âHe means I know of him. From what Mina told me.â You lie smoothly. Mingyu squeezes you a little in apology. Obviously he didnât know you were keeping it a secret.
Jihyo really isnât in the mood to slow down, because she throws back any alcohol she can get her hands on. This forces you to remain sober so you can take her back when the time is right. Youâre so busy with her that you manage to steer clear of Jeonghan. The whole place is too loud, too overstimulating, that you have no time to think about him. Hours later, youâre tired and more than a little cranky when you finally manage to drag Jihyo out of the house. Sheâs stumbling a little, giggling at something completely normal that she finds exceedingly funny. You huff. How the hell are you going to do this?
âI have a car.â You hear a familiar voice. You donât expect to see Jeonghan. You hadnât seen him all night except at the very beginning, so you assumed he left, probably with someone else. But heâs here now, hands buried in the pockets of his dark jeans. You are half inclined to say no, but just the thought of taking Jihyo back like this is enough to make you cry, so you simply nod.
Jeonghan brings the car around and helps you put Jihyo in the backseat, where she promptly falls asleep. You sit in the front with him, and you feel awkward all over again.
âYou didnât text me, pretty.â He says. You forgot how the nickname makes your face flush.
âI didnât think you were serious.â You mumble. Jeonghan looks confused.
âAbout what?â
You sigh, hesitating a little. âIâm not reallyâŠ.. a casual hookup person. So I think itâs best if we stay away from each other.â
Jeonghan chuckles. âDamn, Iâm getting broken up with.â
You try to shake your head but Jeonghan just brushes it off. Heâs clearly joking. And itâs not like this means anything. So you donât say anything more, hoping the uncomfortable air dissipates a bit. Thankfully, you arenât far from the dorms at all. Jeonghan parks in front of Med and offers to help you take Jihyo up. You canât say no even if you want to, since sheâs fully dead weight now.
Heâs great support in dragging her to the room. In fact, he does most of the heavy lifting, which you are grateful for. You dump Jihyo on her bed, pulling her shoes off and covering her with a blanket. She doesnât as much as flinch. You straighten a little, sighing.
âThank you.â You smile at him. He shrugs it off. You walk him to the door. When he puts his hand on the knob, he pauses.
âSo, weâre really over?â
You blink, surprised. âWe were never really a thing.â
âI know.â He hums, watching you with heated eyes. âBut it was fun. Shame that itâs ending before it even properly began.â
You fidget a little, staring at your hands. Jeonghan steps closer, his fingers find your chin, tilting your head up.
âCan I get a goodnight kiss?â
You consider it a little before nodding. âOkay.â
One kiss wonât hurt. Except itâs not one kiss. Jeonghan deepens it the second your lips meet his. His hands run over your hips, over the sliver of skin between your skirt and your tiny top. You shiver, hands squeezing his biceps. His tongue slides into your mouth and you moan. The same heady feeling from that night comes back, the one that leaves you dumb and brainless with him. His tongue runs hungrily over yours. You clench around nothing.
âW-we should stop.â You manage to whimper into his mouth. He moans.
âNeither of us want that.â
He crowds you into the wall until youâre pressed between it and his chest. He kisses you harder, deeper, and you feel like youâre high on him, all consumed by him. He smells so fucking good it makes your head spin. Your fingers bury themselves in his hair and you tug harshly, and he seems to like that, because he groans into your mouth.
âYou had to wear the tiniest little skirt, didnât you?â He bites your bottom lip. âWanted to bend you over right in the middle of that house.â
âYou-â Your breath stutters. âYou canât say stuff like that.â
âWhy?â Jeonghan pulls back enough to lick down your jaw and nibble at your neck. You arch into him. âDoes it turn you on?â
You donât want to tell him that yes, it does turn you on. The raw need he says he has for you is so foreign, but so welcome. Before you can say anything, Jeonghan pulls off your neck and sinks to his knees.
You gape at him, shocked. His hands are urgent, pushing your skirt up and hooking a hand under your knee so he can hook it over his shoulder.
âJeonghan!â You hiss, but you canât say a thing further. Your hand flies up to clamp over your mouth when he runs his tongue over your clothed core. He wastes no time in pulling your panties aside and tonguing right at your slit, finding your clit immediately to suck on it.
Itâs so much all at once, an assault on the senses. You tremble, nearly losing your balance if it werenât for Jeonghanâs hands holding you tight to him. He chases after you with his mouth when you try to jerk away. He laps at you like heâs starved for your taste. It feels so good that you canât decide if you want to pull away (Jihyo is right there) or if him eating you out like this is a thrill you want to lean into. It feels so dirty, so all consuming. You buck into his mouth and his resulting moan is depraved. Your orgasm is fast approaching. You canât stop it even if you try.
âFuck, Jeong- Jeonghan-âŠ. Hannie.â
You have to bite your hand to keep from crying out, your high tearing through you with the force of a car crash. You shake and shudder over him, his hands holding you up with a strength that surprises you. He doesnât stop until youâre whining and pushing his head away, cleaning you up until you can feel his spit cooling on your skin.
He lets your leg down gently, soothing a hand over it and laying a kiss on your thigh before standing up. His hair is no longer tied up, messy around his head. He is soaked down his chin and to the column of his throat. Your cheeks flame, breaths still coming heavy. He lays a kiss on the heated skin.
âThanks for the meal.â
You canât even say anything before heâs kissing you one last time and quickly leaving. You blink harshly, wondering what the fuck just happened.
You find his hair tie on the floor the next morning.
âŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠ..
You canât stay away from Yoon Jeonghan. You tried once, and it ended with him on his knees in front of you, making you cum on his face. Since then, youâve forgotten the amount of times heâs made you cum. On his tongue, on his fingers, and most gloriously, on his cock. Heâs made you feel things you genuinely didnât think were possible. He whispers into your ear such filthy words that you have a hard time even processing them. Says heâs âpussy drunkâ. That he canât live without his fill of you. So he finds you, once or twice a week, and he drags you back to his room because it guarantees privacy. Or he fucks you on your own bed when you know Jihyo is out for the night. Either way, heâs around you a lot more than you ever expected him to be.
Jeonghan is whip smart. You deduced that he was witty a long time ago, but he is a rare combination of book smart and street smart that you didnât know even existed. You both have the same anatomy course, so you study together sometimes. Of course, heâs horny all throughout it, but if you make it interesting, he is more than willing to participate. His favourite is when you strip off one piece of clothing with every question he gets right. It always ends with sex, because everything with Jeonghan ends with sex, but it feels more charged like this, when heâs talking and laughing with you, that sweet little twinkle in his eyes that makes your heart race.
Jeonghan has an unhealthy obsession with fast food, which works out great for you since stress makes you crave greasy food too. You will often find yourselves in some fast food place outside campus, usually spicy fried chicken, late at night between studying and making assignments. He isnât a big drinker, and neither are you, but you like sharing a beer with him sometimes. Jeonghan is just so comfortable in his own skin. He has no guilt or shame about anything he does, or any choice he has made. It contrasts with you, who always has ten different things playing in your head at one time, doubting, analysing, restructuring. Heâs perceptive. He can tell when youâre about to spiral, letting out a disapproving little tut before tapping your forehead.
âDonât fly away and leave me here alone.â
He says weird stuff like that.
It means nothing. It canât. Jeonghan is notoriously a fuck boy. Everyone knows it. Hell, he advertised it in the university Facebook group once. What more is there to say? He likes sex, you like sex. You give it to each other. Thatâs it. Getting closer to him like this is the natural consequence of spending time together. Thereâs no deeper meaning here. But then you hear something, a floating rumor, and you almost canât believe it.
âDidnât know he was being picky.â Some girl who was having lunch on the same table as you said. Youâre sure Mina told you her name when she introduced you guys, but you were, once again, lost deep in thought. You didnât catch it. âHeâs never rejected me before.â
Mina rolls her eyes. âHeâs never rejected anyone before.â
âMiyoung says he hasnât hooked up with any of her friends either. Heâs been ignoring everyoneâs calls or messages.â
Youâre rock still as you stare at your plate. This canât be true. You and Jeonghan are justâŠâŠ messing around. Relieving stress. Itâs not anything more. Before you can think, youâre pulling your phone out to text him.
[me]: where are you
The reply is instant.
[hannie]: dorm. u coming?
You reply with an affirmative, and half an hour later, youâre knocking on his door. He opens it with a lazy smile, hair tousled and shirt wrinkled. It seems he was still in bed. Youâre mad at yourself that he looks even more attractive to you like this.
âHi, pretty.â He hums, pulling you in and shutting the door, planting a kiss on your neck. He wraps his arms around you, hands already wandering under your shirt. You huff.
âI heard a rumor.â
âHm?â He seems distracted, fingers dipping just a little in the waistband of your jeans. You plough forward.
âSome girls complaining that you have been dodging their calls.â
He snorts into your neck. His teeth dig teasingly into your skin. You push at his stomach a little, trying to put distance between you two.
âJeonghan, are you only sleeping with me?â
He pulls off your neck briefly, but lays a kiss on your jaw instead. âYeah.â
Now you really push him away. He takes the hint and detaches, but he looks confused.
âWhy? Why arenât you sleeping with other girls?â
His face twists into something more amused. âYou know, itâs usually the other way around. Girls are mad when their boyfriends are sleeping with other girls.â
Your heart stutters at the statement. âYouâre not my boyfriend.â
He pouts. âHurtful. Are you sleeping with other guys?â
You balk at him. âNo!â
âSo youâre only sleeping with me, and Iâm only sleeping with you.â He hums, looking thoughtful. Heâs clearly being unserious. You donât appreciate it. âSome people might say that weâreâŠâŠ exclusive?â
âWeâre not dating.â You say, dryly.
âWe spend time together. We study together. We have sex. We talk to each other all the time either in person or over texts.â Heâs listing things off on his fingers. You are growing more irritated with every point. He seems to notice, because he gives you one of those sweet smiles of his that make you melt. You try to hold strong.
âOkay, pretty. Weâre not dating. But I would like to.â He grows more serious, stepping forward again to caress your sides.
âYou like me?â
Jeonghan huffs, leaning forward so his forehead touches yours. âDarling, Iâm obsessed with you.â
So many pet names. Itâs always endless pet names with him. You love it. Your heart beats fast. You fiddle with his shirt.
âYou really havenât been with anyone since then?â You mumble.
Jeonghanâs lips brush on the corner of your mouth, an action laced with affection. âOnly you. Canât get enough of you. You drive me crazy.â
You giggle a bit. âOkay.â
âHm?â
âFine. Iâll date you.â
His smile is blinding. This time, his lips taste even sweeter against yours.
đWho: Jeon Jungkook (BTS) x female reader
đWhat: Smut (18+). College au. Strangers to Lovers. Halloween! Pizza delivery boy Jungkook.
đWord count: 6.5k
đWarnings: Kissing. Brief hair pulling (male receiving). Oral (male receiving). Fingering. PIV sex. Unprotected sex (itâs discussed beforehand, sheâs on birth control). Hickies. Lots of teasing/playfulness, in and out of sex. Bit of aftercare (he cleans her up). Strong boy Jungkook (not that relevant, but also always is to me đ). Taehyung barely appears, but heâs a sexual deviant and menace and I just want to point that out, okay.
đSummary:
Itâs the first Halloween party youâre hosting with one of your housemates, and to feed the guests, he orders an honestly absurd amount of pizzas. The attractive delivery boy that winds up fucking you before the party even starts is definitely your favourite part, though.
Minors do NOT interact. I WILL block any account that interacts without an age indicator in their bio. I also block blank blogs.
Masterlist
A/N- This was originally on my old account @/whipped-for-kpop-fics, but I decided to entirely rewrite it move it over to here.
Halloween, your favourite time of the year.
Youâve always loved dressing up, even as little girl. Ever since you can remember, your family have always hosted a Halloween party, though this year, you canât attend due to being away for university. But that doesnât mean youâre not going to keep the tradition. If anything, you know this year, the party you host will be crazier than anything your parents could throw.
Then again, you do have the cheat code of your guests consisting purely of young adults donned in fancy dress and wanting to let loose and forget about studying and whatever troubles may be on their minds. And likely fucking in any vaguely private corner they can find.
That thought makes you create a mental note to lock your bedroom door before people start to show up.
Although the majority of your housemates have gone off to different parties around the city with their various friends, one remains, the most important one, anyway. Taehyung has been almost as excited about this party as you and insisted on helping you to plan and set everything up.
He also insisted on the pair of you wearing matching outfits for the party. He happened across an old painting of a couple in the attic a couple months back and decided the two of you have to recreate the old timey outfits, despite the fact the painting thoroughly creeps your friend out to the extent he canât look at it.
Of course, you had placed that painting pride of place in the lounge, hanging on the wall over the table that is currently covered in various drink bottles and disposable cups. Ever since you hung it at the beginning of October, to celebrate Halloween month, as youâve always called it, Taehyung hasnât stepped foot in the room and avoids it at all costs. Itâs highly amusing to you and the rest of your housemates, especially as he doesnât even ask any of you to take it back down. Heâs simply accepted its presence for the month and that only reminds you as to why heâs your favourite of your housemates.
Youâre working on setting up the last of the decorations in the kitchen, already fully geared up in your costume and singing along to the music already loudly playing.
Still, somehow, Taehyungâs deep, powerful voice overpowers the music to meet you as he yells your name from his room at the bottom of the stairs. âGet the door!â
You have no idea what heâs doing in his room, and frankly, you donât want to know. The last time you questioned what he was doing when he hid away for the hour before Jeonghanâs birthday party last month, Taehyung went into explicit detail about the fantasy he had conjured to assist his âpre-party masturbation sessionâ. Wisely, you just assume heâs up to something you donât want to hear a play-by-play of and leave him to it.
You donât respond, not even to question how he heard the doorbell over the music, but you put down the decorations in your hands with a soft groan and move to the front door to pull it open.
On the porch, you find a guy around your age standing there, heâs got dark shaggy hair, big doe eyes, and two hoops hugging one side of his bottom lip. Youâre too thrown off by this attractive stranger on your doorstep that you almost donât notice the outfit heâs wearing, or the piece of paper in his hand as he blinks at you a little dumbly while taking in your almost elaborate outfit.
âYouâre early,â you inform, leaning against the doorframe while he continues to stare at you, though heâs now lifted his wide eyes to look at your face, not the dress youâre wearing. âPizza delivery guy, huh? Honestly never seen that one before,â you admit, motioning to the uniform on his body while flashing the attractive stranger an amused grin. He blinks at you a few times, then shows you the writing on the paper, a receipt that is far too realistic to just be a prop. âWait, youâre actually a delivery guy?â
âYeah.â He nods slowly then recites the address printed on the top of the receipt. âAm I in the wrong place?â
âNo, I just wasnât aware we ordered anything,â you respond and step back. âOne sec.â You turn and rush over to Taehyungâs bedroom door to bang on it. âDid you order pizza?!â you call. You only gain a grunt in response, mingled with heavy breathing that makes you pull a face and return to the door. âGuess thatâs definitely for us,â you say, making the delivery guyâs posture relax in relief before he hands over the receipt to you for you to baulk at the contents. âHow fucking much did he order?â
âHaving a party I assume?â the guy says, eyeing your outfit again and seeming much more comfortable in his own skin now that youâve confirmed heâs in the right place.
âNah, I just like dressing like a sexually frustrated Victorian woman in my spare time,â you retort in a tone thatâs barely sarcastic.
He lets out a breath of understanding and nods almost solemnly. âWe all have our kinks,â he says seriously, a hint of a teasing tone breaking through, making you gasp and reach out to nudge him in faux offence. He giggles and you canât help but smile, laughing too.
Suddenly you realise whatâs happening and stop to question yourself. Are you really flirting with the delivery guy? Though when you look him over again, much slower this time to truly take in his form in the usually very unflattering uniform, you accept that yes. Yes, you are definitely flirting with the delivery guy.
âSo, should I start bringing it up?â he asks, pointing over his shoulder with his thumb to the car parked on the road.
âOh, right, yeah, Iâll help,â you respond, knowing it will take multiple trips for him otherwise and you know he canât get paid enough to go through that hassle.
âThanks.â He grins, clearly glad for the help.
Together, you ferry the boxes from the car and into the kitchen, where he follows your lead and sets everything in his arms down on the counter for you to neatly set up ready for the guests.
âWow,â he mutters after looking around the kitchen at all the Halloween themed snacks already set up, and the copious amount of decorations around the room; many of which you and Taehyung have made by hand over the past couple of months to make sure your shared vision is accurately portrayed. âYou guys really like Halloween, huh?â
âWe hate it,â you respond without looking at him, too focused on arranging everything just right.
âYouâre really sarcastic, huh.â
âNever.â Now that youâre done with the boxes, you turn to look at him and find him grinning at you in amusement. âYou know, you kind of look familiar,â you note, tilting your head a little and knitting your eyebrows together as you try to place where you might know him from.
âSo do you,â he replies, tilting his own head ever so slightly and looking about as lost as you do about this mystery. âMaybe weâve crossed paths before?â
âYeah, maybe. Do you do to school here?â
âOn campus?â he questions, pointing to the floor to signify the sprawling grounds of the university that you attend.
âNah, I meant the playschool down the road,â you retort. âYouâre a child, right?â He squares his eyes on you, giving you a warning glance that feels more playful than anything. âAw,â you coo teasingly. âIsnât it cute when little boys think they can scare grownups?âÂ
Suddenly, he closes the gap between you, making you gasp in surprise. Heâs standing so close that your chests are almost touching, his head tilted down to look at you with menacingly with a glint in his eyes that sends shivers of anticipation down your spine. âWant to call me a little boy again, huh?â he challenges in a low tone. âSee where it gets you.â
A thrill shoots through your body, excitement about this sudden change in atmosphere growing thicker in the small gap between you. âOh, honey,â you scoff, snapping back to yourself instead of a little dazed by his suddenly seductive demeanour. You take a step, closing the last of the distance between your bodies, until your chest gently presses against his. You donât miss how he inhales sharply at your action and flicks his tongue out to lick his lip, tracing over the hoops there briefly. âYou canât be suggesting that you can make me take back my words.â He nods confidently. âOh, little boy,â you taunt with a dark little laugh. âYou canât make me do shit.â
His head tilts down to softly brush his nose against yours in a way so drastically opposite to the dark threat in his eyes that lingers on his next words, that you canât help but feel a little weak at the knees in the best of ways. âWatch me,â he promises cockily before pressing you against the wall and crashing his lips onto yours. Of course, you donât hesitate to lift your hands, knot your fingers in his hair, earning a soft, low moan, and kiss him back just as intensely.
Itâs kind of surreal to you. Only ten minutes ago, he had knocked on the door to deliver fucking pizzas and now, youâre heatedly making out with the man you still donât know the name of. You think the mystery might even make it ever hotter.
When he leans back to give you both the chance to catch your breath a little, you peer at his dark, hooded eyes staring down at you and wonder how this man is even real, and not a figment of your horny imagination. Heâs like something straight out a cheap porno, like the ones Taehyung claims to watch for âthe artâ.
âIs this seriously a thing thatâs happening?â you mutter a little dumbly around your panting.
âI really hope so,â he replies, seeming as surprised at you, but just as into it and shameless about wanting to continue.
âFuck, me too,â you agree and pull him back down to slot your lips together again, wasting no time in sliding your tongue into his mouth and earning moans of pleased approval from the man.
As one of your hands leave his hair to travel down to cup his jaw, youâre reminded of how defined it is and are suddenly overcome with the urge to get your mouth on it, so you pull out of the kiss to do just that.
âWhen does your party start?â he questions, hands gripping and flexing at your hips and waist as if heâs trying to decide exactly what to do with them. You decide for him and move one of his hands to your ass and the other to your breasts, making him groan softly and obligingly grope at you.
âSeven.â
He lifts his hand from your chest to look at his watch. âItâs half six.â
âPlenty of time,â you declare, and he nods in enthusiastic agreement, both of his hands moving to grip at your skirt to try and move it out of his way, but thereâs far too much material, making him make a frustrated sound that causes you to giggle amusedly.
âOkay, I know this outfit probably took a lot of time, but you need to take it off before I fucking rip it off,â he warns, tone and expression serious enough that you believe him as he glares down at the skirt thoroughly offending him right now.
With another giggle, you push him back to give you room to reach behind you and find the thick ribbon securing your skirt closed. You fiddle for a moment to undo the fastening, then tug it open further until the skirt slips down your legs and pools around your feet, leaving you in your underwear and tight blouse he hadnât realise isnât just the top half of the dress.
His eyes drag up your exposed legs, even lingering on the true to era little black boots on your feet, before following up your body to admire the view. âI shouldnât find this as hot as I do, but fuck, I really do,â he admits, making you giggle amusedly. You eye him and smirk, noticing the bulge in his trousers, then reach out to cup it, making him gasp softly and move closer, crowding you against the wall as you both kick the skirt aside so itâs not a tripping hazard.
âI can tell just how hot you find this,â you tease, squeezing his clothed erection a little, earning a slightly choked off moan to spill from his parted lips.
âYou saying Iâm the only one this turned on right now?â he taunts and slips his hand between your legs to press his palm against the more wet than damp seat of your panties. âOh, babygirl, youâre soaked,â he coos, smirking when your cheeks darken. âDonât be embarrassed.â He trails kisses along your jaw until he can murmur into your ear in a voice so low that it shoots right into your core, fanning the flames of arousal and need heâs created, âitâs so fucking hot.â At the same time as he lowers his head to attach his mouth to your neck and suck on the right side of harsh, his hand adjusts between your thighs to begin rubbing at your throbbing pussy through your panties, making you grip his shoulder with both hands and tilt encouragingly into his hand.
âWh-whatâs your name?â you stutter as his fingers hook under your underwear to move them aside so that he can touch your slick skin.
âHm? My name?â he repeats, words vibrating against your neck where heâs creating a whole collection of hickeys that you canât even find it in you to be mad about. âWhy do you want-â
âI want to know what I should moan out,â you cut him off, almost rolling your eyes at his question, but his fingers find your clit and make them roll for another reason.
His movements halt and he leans back to look at you with lust blown eyes. âJungkook, my nameâs Jungkook,â he rushes out without hesitation now that he understands why you want to know it and clearly very enthusiastic about the particular reason, making you chuckle softly. âWhatâs yours?â you tell him, and he hums, saying your name in a way that sounds like heâs rolling it over his tongue, tasting you thoroughly.
Without warning, he slides a finger into you, making you gasp out his name and tip your head back, prompting him to lean back in and return to cover your neck in attention from his mouth.
Even though his mouth feels almost desperate against you and his free hand has your thigh lifted to side, allowing him to grind his clothed erection against the underside of your giving flesh, his fingers work you open slowly, seemingly in no rush. As much as youâd usually appreciate the time and care given, youâre far to needy right now.
âJ-Jungkook,â you say, pulling his head out of your neck by your fingers in his hair, earning an utterly filthy moan that makes you both pause and blink at one another in surprise. âOkay, filing that away for future use, dirty boy,â you tease with a smirk.
âShut up,â he retorts with a blush, and curls his fingers inside of you into the spot he has found that makes you moan a little louder, smirking as you gasp at the sudden attack. Though, you grab his wrist, and his eyes grow wide in worry. âShit, was that too far? Iâm sorry.â
âItâs fine, I just donât want your fingers anymore.â
âOh.â His face falls and he pulls his fingers out of you while lowering your leg back down. âShould I leave?â he asks, looking rejected yet still worried that heâs fucked up, and steps back from you.
âWhat? No.â You laugh and reach out to tug him back in by the front of his polo shirt on show through his open jacket. He makes a confused and curious noise, tilting into you naturally when you brush your lips over his. âI want your cock, baby.â
âOh. Oh!â He nods rapidly in agreement and reaches into the gap between your bodies to fumble with his belt, opening it with hands shaking with the sudden return of excitement and anticipation about getting to bury his cock into you. Knowing itâd get in the way, he yanks his belt out from the loops entirely and tosses it carelessly to the tile flooring to the side before his hands try to work on his trouser button. âFucking button,â he grumbles in frustration when he can only fumble with it for far too long yet fail to open it.
âRelax,â you soothe, moving his hands aside after nudging him back so that you can lower to your knees and get a close-up view of the fastening, so that you can see what youâre doing and easily undo the stiff material.
You glance up at him from where you kneel, and find him staring at you intently, eyes glued to your lowered figure and bottom lip between his teeth. Without breaking eye contact, your hands find the zipper and pull it down, before tugging the material down to his knees. You drag your hands up his thick thighs, stopping momentarily to appreciatively squeeze the clearly strong muscles there while he lets out a content little sigh at the clear admiration, before your hands finish their path to the elastic of his boxers sitting on his hips. As soon as he nods at you in consent, you hook your fingers underneath and pull down until his boxers meet his trousers.
âGood girl,â he breathes out, voice almost too quiet to hear, especially with the music still loudly playing, and lifts one hand to lace his fingers into your hair, uncaring for the style you spent ages twisting it into, and gently tugs you ever so slightly closer. He doesnât do more than that, more than give the suggestion to you, letting you know what he wants but giving you all the freedom to make the move yourself if youâre comfortable and willing.
Now that heâs pretty much invited you to enjoy his cock, you finally lower your gaze from his and take a look at his erection. Internally you both roll your eyes, because of course the pretty boy also has a pretty cock, and roll your eyes back because thatâs a pretty fucking cock and you want it in every hole humanly possible. For now, though, youâll settle with the one closest.
With your hands planted on his sturdy thighs, you lean in, tongue extended and drag it up the underside of his cock slowly, making him tighten his fingers in your hair ever so slightly in approval. Though when you swirl your tongue around the drooling tip and drag the taste of his precum onto your tongue, he moans and adjusts his hold in a way that feels more pointed.
You flicker your eyes up to his face as you teasingly wrap your lips around the head of his cock and suckle on barely an inch of him. A smug sense of pride flitters in your chest as you watch the way he fights his eyes from closing in pleasure as he tilts his head further down to watch your actions intently, clearly not wanting to miss a moment of the show.
Of course, youâre nothing if not a little entertainer when you want to be, especially during your favourite holiday when almost nothing can kill your vibe, so you make sure that you give the most visibly pleasing show of slobbering and sucking on his cock. All while refusing to really do anything to give him enough to truly satiate him, enjoying his barely restrained twitches as he fights the urge to take what he wants.
âFucking tease,â he grunts, finally snapping and pulling you off of his cock, missing your dumb smile as he yanks you up to your feet.
The smile falls from your face in surprise as he abruptly turns you to face the wall, grabs your hips with one hand to keep your bottom half in place and pushes on your back with his free hand to make you jerk forward, palms slapping against the rough, exposed brick to catch yourself.
Once youâre in the position he wants, back arched, and forearms braced against the wall, he lets you go to grab your panties and instead of pulling them down, or even to the side, he grips either side of the seam at your hip and rips it open, making you gasp. Then he grabs the seat of your underwear and rips that open too, letting the ruined material fall to the ground while you question yourself for how attractive you find the brutish action.
âThatâs better,â he murmurs. You feel him step closer, the heat of his body enveloping the back of your thighs and exposed ass as he grabs at you to pull your flesh aside and expose your dripping pussy to him more. âPerfect,â he breathes out, then suddenly freezes. âShit, I donât have a condom.â
âIâm on birth control and recently tested. Nothing contagious,â you assure, looking over your shoulder at him.
âMe too,â he says as he meets your gaze.
âGlad I canât get you pregnant,â you respond in a serious tone with a nod, then giggle when he laughs. âNow, hurry up, delivery boy, Iâve got a party to host.â
âYeah, yeah, keep pretending like youâre not literally dripping right now,â he retorts, even as he lowers his gaze and grips his cock in his free hand to drag the head over your arousal-messy pussy. Just when youâre about to tell him to hurry up again, he lines up and starts to push inside, making you shut up and turn back around to rest your forehead on your arm.
Jungkook takes his time feeding his length into you, letting you both savour every delicious inch of the first stretch. Although you had previously told him to hurry up, youâre secretly glad heâs taking this slow, it feels too fucking good to pass up.
When his hips finally press against you with his cock buried in its entirety within you, you let out a shared breath of relief. It feels like youâve been waiting for this very moment, to feel your bodies locked together so intimately, for weeks, months even, not way under an hour. Heâs not even fucked you yet, the first time together hasnât even ended yet you just know that youâre not going to want this to be your only time together. Something in you tells you that Jungkook wants the exact same thing as you.
After giving you both a few moments to soak in the feeling of just being connected and entirely experience one another like this, he starts to rock his hips. At first, his movements are slow, only shallowly fucking into you for a short time, before without warning, he pulls back and thrusts back into you deeper, hips smacking against your ass with the sudden powerful movement, making you shriek slightly in surprise. He hesitates, though once you press your hips back against him encouragingly, he grips your hips firmly, adjusts his stance a little and proceeds to fuck into you harder than anyone has in a long time.
His cock is hitting just the right depth within you, dragging against your walls in all the right ways and making it impossible to think of anything else as you babble out praise mixed with his name. Your fingers scramble to grip the wall for stability as your body is continuously jostled with the power of his thrusts.
You donât really have the mental capacity to ponder on it right now, but later, youâll definitely think back on it and realise that this stranger is fucking you exactly how you crave, better than your ex even after almost a whole year of dating. You definitely wonât want to let Jungkook be a one-night stand after this.
Though, there is one thing youâd change, and it takes a while for you to notice it, notice the lack of real noises coming from the man, just some bitten back groans, and grunts of effort. The realisation that heâs holding back his moans makes you immediately sulk and press your lips together firmly, refusing to share any more of your own.
Almost instantly, Jungkook notices and stops his movements. âWhat-whatâs wrong?â he pants, more confused than anything.
You look over your shoulder at him, pouting around your words that come out around your own heavy breaths. âI wanna hear you,â you complain.
âWhat?â He chuckles and realising that you donât want to stop and that he hasnât done anything wrong, he starts moving his hips again, but now heâs no longer fucking into you, but grinding filthily, making your mouth drop open and eyes roll. âYou really wanna hear me?â he asks and you nod dumbly, unable to form words or try to stop yourself from moaning any longer. âAlright, baby,â he agrees and leans forward to blanket your back with his chest, left arm wrapping around your torso to press against the top of your chest to hold you to him, right hand pressing to the wall above your head. âKiss me first,â he demands, sliding his left hand up your throat to find your jaw and turn your head to your left, to where heâs leaning over your shoulder, hips pressed right to your ass and lips waiting.
Even if you were able to move out of the firm grip that he has on your jaw, you wouldnât want to. Your lips find his without hesitation, even if the angle leaves a lot to be desired, and you kiss him. Itâs uncoordinated on both of your parts, lips and tongue finding one another, teeth gently clashing and clacking as he shallowly fucks into you, jostling you both, but neither care. Thereâs something endlessly arousing about the shared, shameless need obvious between you.
The kiss canât last long, not with the angle plus his growing speed of thrusts, growing desperation to cum. He makes sure to press one last kiss to your parted lips then leans back to straighten. Though, he doesnât let you go, he gently holds your throat and keeps your back to his chest, pulling you upright and making you wail at the new angle heâs hitting in this position. Your reward is hearing him moaning right beside your ear as he crowds you, chest first, against the wall, still holding you and bracing you both with his right palm on the brick.
Unable to fully support yourself, you drop your head back against his shoulder, one hand lifting from the wall to grip his bicep as his forearm leans against the wall, and the other pressing firmly against the rough brick to do as much as you can to not lose your legs beneath you or tip forward into the wall. Though, youâre pretty sure his hand around your throat would catch you before you could move far. Heâs not applying any pressure at all, his fingers are barely even resting against your skin, but the implication of what he could do only turns you on, sends you hurting towards an orgasm.
âF-fuck, Jungkook,â you let out, voice turning pitching higher with your impending orgasm.
âGonna cum?â he teases in your ear, voice low and tight as if heâs not faring any better. You nod and he moves his arm from the wall, making you remove your hand from his bicep to put against the wall, freeing his hand to find its way between your slick thighs and work your clit. âCum on my cock baby, be a good girl,â he encourages roughly.
Itâs only another couple swipes over your clit before you fall apart, loudly moaning his name as your orgasm rushes through you so powerfully that you think you black out for a few seconds. Jungkookâs hips stutter and he moans your name against your neck as he spills inside you with his orgasm set off by your own, unable to hold it back anymore when your pussy is squeezing and pulsating around his throbbing cock.
âFuck,â Jungkook lets out after a few moments as you stand there together, both a little weak legged but unable to move quite yet. You hum in agreement.
Still, neither of you move for a handful more minutes, until youâre both breathing more steadily and heads arenât spinning quite so much.
You feel Jungkookâs expression scrunch as he reluctantly pulls his hips back, letting his soft cock slip out, spilling cum down your thighs, but you donât really care right now, youâve been fucked too good to care about anything for the foreseeable future.
Even though you should probably move too, you arenât quite brave enough yet to stop leaning against the wall, so even when Jungkook moves away and you hear him moving around, including the tap running, you donât move.
âAs much as I love this view, I donât think you make a very good Halloween decoration,â he jokes, stepping behind you against and wiping at your inner thighs with a damp hand towel he mustâve found in the drawer near the sink.
âIf thatâs the pink floral one, you better hide the evidence because my housemate will murder anyone is she finds that with cum stains,â you warn, glancing over your shoulder and finding Jungkook looking down at the towel heâs still using against your skin with wide eyes. You just snort amusedly.
âIâll take the evidence,â he promises then uses the dry end to gently dry your skin. âCome on, old lady, away from the wall,â he teases, putting the towel down to hold your hips and tug you backwards, making you take a few steps with him until youâre supporting yourself on shaky legs. âSo, did I prove that Iâm not a little boy?â he questions playfully as he helps you turn to face him. His cheeks are still obviously pink from exertion and lips kiss bitten, but otherwise, heâs looks unfairly put together while you feel like you so obviously look like youâve just had your soul fucked out of you.
âMm, maybe,â you respond, lifting your hands to drum your fingers against his firm chest playfully. His mouth turns up in an amused smile. âMight have to give me more proof at a later date though.â
âHow much later?â
âWellâŠyou doing anything tonight?â you ask with a cheeky grin that makes him laugh.
âI get off at nine,â he answers, and removes one hand from your hips to check his watch. âShit, your party will start any minute.â
âI should probably not have my vagina out then,â you reason, making him crack up.
âProbably notâŠat least not until I come back.â He winks in a theatrically sleazy way, making you giggle. âLet me help you get ready, then I need to go and deliver a shit ton of pizzas to make up for the tips Iâve missed being here,â he muses as he helps you over to where the material of the rest of your clothing lay in a messy heap on the tiles.
âAre you saying this was a bad tip?â you retort, accepting your skirt from him.
âBest tip Iâve ever gotten,â he answers without hesitation. âIf I bring you more pizza later, will you give me another?â he jokes.
âBring doughballs and Iâll play with yours,â you offer, making him laugh.
âDeal.â He extends his hand to shake on it, which you do, making you both giggle. âDo youâŠneed help?â he offers, eyeing the skirt as you pull it up your legs, knowing your underwear are a lost cause and just glad your skirt is floor length so nobody will know youâre not wearing any.
âActually, yeah, can you help tighten it?â you request and once itâs up in place, you turn your back to him and offer the ribbons. He accepts them, then lets out a soft groan when you lift your shirt up to your waist so that he can see what heâs doing. âWhat?â
âI can see your ass through the gaps in the ribbons,â he whines. âWhy have you got to have such a nice ass? Itâs impossible to ignore.â
âShut up,â you laugh and lift the waistband up higher so itâs in place around your waist and not in the middle of your hips. âJust tighten it already, we both have things to do.â
âYeah, you, later.â
âOh my god!â you exclaim with a laugh and catch him laughing quietly behind you as he obligingly works on tightening the laces to keep the skirt in place. âYouâre a fucking child.â
âI am a man,â he corrects in time with pulling the ribbons roughly, as if proving his point. It makes you inhale sharply and for the first time wonder if having a Halloween party is even worth it when you have another activity on your mind. He pulls the laces again once more as he leans closer to brush his lips against your ear. âAnd Iâm going to prove it to you again, and again, and again, until you get it in your pretty head, babygirl.â
âAre you threatening me with a good time, Jungkook?â you retort, turning your head to peer over your shoulder at him. He smirks then tilts to press his lips to yours in a teasing, lazy kiss. âFuck, go already before you get fired and I fail my first Halloween party host role by fucking the delivery boy instead of greeting guests.â
âIf I didnât need this job, I would say that doesnât sound at all bad,â he reasons and kisses you a final time, almost sweetly before leaning back. âDo you want me to tie this or do it yourself?â
âI can do it, just pulling it tight is hard with the angle,â you answer, reaching back to accept the ribbons, so he lets go and moves away. You tie the ribbons behind your back while watching him move to pick up the dirty towel and your destroyed underwear. âThose were my favourite pair, by the way. You owe me.â
âIâll replace them,â he promises and stuffs the material into his pocket, earning a questioning look. âWhat? I have to keep them, so I know what size and everything to buy, duh.â
âDuh,â you mock, making him roll his eyes, but thereâs an amused smile on his lip.
âAlright, sassy woman.â He starts backing up towards the kitchen exit. âSee you later?â
âIâll be the sexually frustrated Victorian woman,â you respond.
âIâll be the delivery boy who fixes that issue,â he flirts with a wink. âYou should probably fix your hair though, thatâs crazy.â
You groan and wave him off as you lift your hands to your hair. He cackles then leaves without another word to get back to work, while you rush to the bathroom to try and figure out how the fuck youâre supposed to recreate the hairstyle that took you an hour to style when you have a fraction of that before the first guests should arrive.
âWow!â Taehyung exclaims, appearing in the mirror behind you, smirking at your dishevelled state. âYou fucked the delivery guy, didnât you?â
âAnd Iâll do it again,â you respond, making him laugh then high five you before he so kindly helps you to get in a state suitable to host your first Halloween party away from home.
Itâs almost three hours later that you stop in shock upon exiting the basement door, which leads down to the haunted house that took you and Taehyung two straight weeks to perfect, only to see the man himself standing in the hallway by the bottom of the stairs, joking around with some of his friends and a very newly familiar face to you.
âThere she is!â Taehyung coos upon spotting you as you near once youâve gotten over your shock. It makes his friends turn to look at you and all of the ones who you already know quickly move to pull you into their arms with drunken affection.
âAlright, boys,â you laugh as you pull away to stand between Taehyung and coincidentally, the familiar face.
âOh, you havenât met before, have you?â Taehyung realises in a drunken drawl as he leans backwards against the stair railing, motioning to your right. âThis is Kookie,â he informs, making you look to your right at Jungkook, who is already smirking amusedly down at you and still in his uniform, though now heâs no longer wearing his jacket, revealing his strong arms, one of which is dotted with the start of a tattoo sleeve.
âAh, the infamous Kookie,â you say, nodding slowly in understanding, both putting a face to the name in Taehyungâs stories, and understanding why you and Jungkook both found one another familiar earlier; you likely had seen pictures or vaguely crossed paths thanks to having Taehyung as a mutual friend, plus some of the guys standing with you three now. âTae tells me you have like no balls when it comes to girls,â you comment slyly, making the other guys laugh as you insult the young man.
Hoseok screams as a fake spider suddenly lands on his head, before the man dressed as a pirate takes off after the culprit, yelling obscenities as he goes.
Jungkook raises an eyebrow at you and leans closer as the attention is removed from the two of you while the others watch Hoseokâs chase highly entertained. âGuess you know thatâs a load of shit,â Jungkook murmurs lowly to you, placing his left hand on your lower back, then stepping slower to slyly slide his hand down to your ass. âDid you put new panties on?â he wonders, appreciating your ass by groping and kneading at it one handed.
âNo,â you respond simply, unashamedly meeting his darkening gaze with your own, both uncaring about who sees you flirting like this. âAnd it makes it that much harder to stop your cum running down my leg,â you add with a dramatic pout, that quickly turns into a smirk as he sucks in a sharp breath at the mental image your words paint. âBet youâd like to see that, huh? Your cum spilling out of me.â
âSo, fucking much.â
With another smirk, you remove his hand from you and create a little space between you before turning and drawing the attention of the group to excuse yourself. They drunkenly, theatrically try to convince you to stay but you just laugh and wave them off to head up the stairs. You make pointed eye contact with Jungkook before continuing your way up to your bedroom, not even trying to be subtle about it and more interested in making sure he understands the silent cue.
Once youâve unlocked your bedroom door, you move over to spread comfortably on your bed to wait with simmering anticipation for your delivery boy.
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tags: bittersweet jeonghan, he knows ur lying, friends to lovers, his love language is touch and pissing you off, dino canât keep secrets to save his life, college student jeonghan, idk how to tag sorryy
playing now: melting - kali uchis
summary: yoon jeonghan hears from a little birdie that you may have feelings for him.
authorâs note: my first ever fic so pls excuse any errors or odd things ⊠hope u enjoy! also i wrote this in my notes so if formatting is weird thatâs why :,)
Sunday has been a bore, all of your friends too busy to hang out today. Youâve resorted to baking cookies, daydreaming of giving them to a special someone tomorrow morning. Your phone buzzes with a new message.
hani ^_^: can i come over?
Cold water awakens your nerves, your heart racing and suspicions invading your mind.
you: thatâs random
you: why?
Immediately after sending the message, you swipe out of the chat, switching off your phone and continuing to scoop the balls of cookie dough onto the baking tray. Tension pulls on your shoulder, curiosity forcing your hands back to your phone, viewing your notifications.
hani ^_^: just wanna see you
hani ^_^: do u not wanna see me? :(
You roll your eyes, pausing at first to think of a way to response before opening the chat.
you: jeonghan youâre you.
you: i never know whatâs happening in that pretty head of urs
you: what if ur gonna kill me
You sigh at your attempt of flirting, your not so obvious crush on Jeonghan seeming to thankfully not have gotten through his head. Itâs nice, but also infuriating. You suppose that when youâre a guy as fine as he is, everyone is automatically sweeter to you. You finish off placing the dough balls, carefully placing the baking tray in the preheated oven as you savor the warmth of the open oven. As you close it, your phone dings.
hani ^_^: aw u think iâm pretty?
hani ^_^: iâd never kill you donât worry about it baby ;)
His antics make your heart race a little faster, though you wonât admit to yourself how easy it is for him to catch you. Heâs like this to everyone, you remind yourself, heâs too beautiful not to be.
you: iâm honored to make the list of the various girls you call baby
you: also a serial killer wouldnât admit who theyâd kill now would they?
As you close your phone, youâre worried that your deflection of his flirtations may be too obvious about your huge crush on him, but youâre too far gone now. You just know that Seungkwan would flame you for how youâre talking to him, and even more so for not asking for his advice on what to say. You lean on the countertop, thinking intensely, when your phone goes off again.
hani ^_^: no such list babyy
hani ^_^: let me come over pleasee
hani ^_^: iâll behave i pinky promise!!
You tap a finger on your lips, considering his request, forgetting that it was the original intention of this conversation in the first place. Your apartment is clean, having cleaned it yesterday, so that wouldnât be an issue. Even better, youâd have warm cookies ready for him.
you: hmm fine only if you behave
you: n i got a surprise for you :))
hani ^_^: how sweet of you
hani ^_^: iâve got something for you too actually
hani ^_^: be there in 20 :)
Excitement floods your veins, thinking of what he could be giving you. Would he also give you baked goods? Maybe a charm for your bracelet? Or maybe heâs just bringing food? Your mind brims with possibilities, nerves flaring.
Finally, the oven goes off and you go to take out the cookies. When the oven opens, the mesmerizingly sweet smell of the cookies floods your apartment, following you as you place the hot tray on a cooling rack. You hang up your oven mitts, going to sit on your couch and wait for Jeonghan. You check the time, and he should be here soon which means that adrenaline has begun to flood your body, anxious for his arrival.
The doorbell rings. Finally. You ecstatically hop onto your feet to let him in, slowing your steps as you get to the doorway so he doesnât hear the patter of your enthusiasm on the floor. You glance through the peephole, seeing him holding a bottle of wine and chocolates. A flush begins on your cheeks, a little â okay, a lot â curious as to why he has gifts in arm.
Opening the door, youâre met with Jeonghan in his newly blond hair, a white windbreaker over a white shirt, black billowy track pants, and a maroon cap. He looked like the perfect boyfriend, a bottle of wine and chocolates in his hand. Beautiful.
âI feel underdressed now,â You say, a flush growing on your face, âAre those for me?â An obvious question, but just to make sure.
He laughs softly, âOf course they are, pretty. Who else would they be for?â He carries both the wine and chocolates into the apartment as he passes you, eyes wandering. Placing the wine bottle on the counter, heâs looking around your apartment and you feel yourself shrink in from his inspection.
âI made cookies, but youâve outdone me with the chocolates and wine.â You say, following him to the kitchen but stopping by the bar, where heâs looking around your cabinets for wine glasses you assume. Heâs been over to your house only a few times before, but heâs the type of person that makes themselves at home regardless of where they go.
âI had to bring my favorite girl some gifts,â He says as he finally finds your glasses before you could tell him, âYou like them?â
âFavorite girl, huh?â You say as he approaches across the bar where you sit, âWhat favor do you need from me?â You raise an eyebrow.
âWho says I need a favor?â He looks at me, head cocking to the side before he pours our drinks, âI did say I just wanted to see you.â
Flustered, you stand up to plate the cookies, âRight, sure. What does Hannie want from me?â Your back turned to him, you feel more bold in how you talk to him. Pulling the cookies off the tray, you flinch slightly at the heat but proceed to plate them all neatly.
âNothing, really. Is it so hard to believe that I just miss your face?â Honesty seeps through his silky words.
You turn in his direction, now suddenly faced with Jeonghanâs body turned completely towards you, eyes twinkling. Turning away, you walking back to your side of the bar, placing the plates cookies in between you both.
âA little bit. Youâve never done this, and youâve never brought me gifts like these before.â You raise an eyebrow, prompting him to explain himself.
âAlright, fine. I have a secret motive, but itâs nothing bad. I just heard a rumor, thatâs all.â He smirks into his glass, taking a sip while he looks at you. Youâre nervous, worried he might finally find out you have a crush on him. But you know that thereâs only one person that knows, and Seungkwan would never tell Jeonghan about your little crush.
âA rumor? Care to elaborate?â You attempt to mask the worry in your voice, but it might show more in your voice than you think.
âI heard through a little birdie that you have feelings for someone. True?â It feels as though heâs pried open your head and stolen your biggest worry and said it aloud, though you find some solace in him not saying if he knows who it is.
âMaybe. Whats your source?â You ask, wanting someone to blame.
âAnd have you tell them off? No thanks. And maybe isnât an answer, itâs an easy yes or no.â His eyes grow more inquisitive, prodding you for the answer he wants.
âIâm just curious, I wonât tell them off.â You say, mentioning nothing more of the crush, attempting to change the topic.
âSure you wonât, like how the sky wonât be blue tomorrow,â He looks at me significantly, âDo you like someone or not?â
âWhatâs it to you?â You answer instead, avoiding his eyes and looking out the window to your right.
âI wanna know if itâs true you have feelings for me.â He says finally, not wanting to dance around the subject any longer. Your blush creeps deeper into your cheeks, his direct words echoing in your head. How does he know?
âMm.â You hum, caught like a deer in headlights and attempting to think of what to say. What could you even say? Surely you should just admit to it, the silence ringing in your ears the longer you leave him answerless.
âAnswer me, baby.â He smiles into his glass, watching you attempt to come up with a way to sidestep the question. He sees the gears turning, the flush warming your cheeks, and he already has the answer he needs from those signs alone.
Dino would be furious, having accidentally spilled the beans of your crush on Jeonghan last night when his dance crew was out for drinks, and making Jeonghan promise not to say anything to you. But Jeonghan had already come up with a plan, knowing his hope of his feelings being mutual is now true.
âMaybe.â You say in a small voice, still not looking at him. Only as he walks into your line of sight do you look up at him, his back illuminated by the sunlight, his face unfairly pretty.
âYou do, donât you?â He smiles knowingly, the answer to his questions all over your beautiful face. His right hand reaches your face, cradling your chin and stroking your cheek.
âItâs all over your face,â You look at him sternly when he speaks, âItâs cute.â
âI donât know what youâre talking about,â You insist, stubborn, âWeâre just friends.â
âOh, really?â He grins, âIs that what you want?â
âIt doesnât matter what I want,â I say too quickly, âYouâre just a friend.â
âHm. What do you want, cutie? Because I heard that you want more than that.â
âThen I guess theyâre wrong.â You say standing up in place, turning away from him to grab the wine bottle that he placed inconveniently close to his side. You pour a hefty glass, ready to continue playing this game.
He moves behind you, placing a hand on your hips and another on the bar, âAre they really?â His breath is hot against your ear as you take a sip, âWhy canât you look at me in the eyes and tell me that?â
âIâve already said it.â
âAnd yet you wonât look me in the eyes. Nervous Iâll know youâre lying?â
âNope. Just donât want to give you the satisfaction of looking at my eyes,â You lie, too obviously.
âOh, Iâm plenty satisfied already. My hands on you, making you all nervous.â To further prove his point, his hands draw shapes on top of your clothes, though it almost feels like heâs searing your skin.
âYouâre an ass.â You weakly spit out.
âI donât think you believe that yourself, honestly.â Growing flustered, you finally turn around to face him, a satisfied smile on his face as you feed into his teasing.
âI donât like you,â You say again to remind him, your voice weak with deception.
âJust admit it already, sweetheart,â Placing both his hands on your hips now, hands roaming and leaning further into your space, âYou like me. And you love it.â His hands dip under your loose shirt, the contact forcing the truth to the surface.
âMaybe I do.â You say back, eyes flickering to his to watch his expression.
âSay it properly, please.â His smile is too sweet as he speaks again, teasing you.
âI have feelings for you, Yoon Jeonghan. Even if you are an ass.â You roll your eyes, moving forward to lean your head on his chest to escape his gaze.
âThe feelings are mutual, pretty girl,â He chuckles at your head burying in his chest, one hand reaching up to brush through your hair.
âYouâre mean.â You whine into his chest.
âSorry, baby. Youâre so much fun to tease.âHe brings you away from his chest to look at you, really look at you, beautiful in the glow of the sun, finally having you.
âYou just hate me, actually.â You joke, despite the fact that he did literally just admit that he likes you too.
âAw come on, you know I have feelings for you.â He grins a little sweeter, and just to prove his point, his lips meet yours. The kiss is tender, slow and soft as he savors the feeling of your lips on his. The hands that were once on your hips are now tightening around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer into him, as you loop your arms loosely around his neck. He pulls away, swiping his thumb on your lips.
The cookies may be uneaten, but the sweetness finds you anyways, your mind etching this morning into the walls of your heart.
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Synopsis: As a close friend of the most sought-after man on campus, youâd like to think that you know Jeonghan well enough to predict his thoughts on romance and his territoriality over ramen. (Spoiler: You don't.)
Content: Angst, Fluff, Comfort | Friends to Lovers | College AU
Tags: short hair jeonghan, extreme pining, liking ramen as a plot device, crying, being losers for each other, insecure reader, lots of konglish w/ translations, overly indulgent kissing, no "y/n,â this is for everyone who voted jeonghan in the poll <3
Word Count: 5.8K
Youâd like to think that you know Yoon Jeonghan well. Surely, you do! Over the years, youâve come acrossâand committed to memoryâdozens, if not hundreds, of his little oddities. Youâve witnessed his personality change with the length of his hair, and learned the hard way that cheating at card games is like second nature to him. At this point, you can recite more information about his pet rock than ramen, which is somewhat terrifying if you dwell on it for too long, considering that ramen is your favorite food.Â
But despite Jeonghanâs chaotic personality, you also know that heâs incredibly smart, having sat next to him in countless college lectures and trivia events.Â
Honestly, it canât possibly be a stretch to say that you know the man too well, can't it? And at times, it feels a bit unfair that you can only reply, âoh, I know him,â when people fleetingly mention him in conversation. It hurts that you canât clarify that you know himâthat you canât ramble on about how he made the stupidest joke to make you laugh when you were upset about your most recent midterm, or handmade you the sweetest present for your birthday, or let you choose your favorite film for movie night for the third time in a rowâbecause no one wants to nor needs to hear about it.
But, unfortunately, thatâs all you can think about these days.Â
Because, unfortunately, Yoon Jeonghan is simultaneously the funniest, weirdest, kindest, and most devastatingly handsome man youâve ever met.Â
Yoon Jeonghan is the kind of guy who would drive 40 minutes out of his way just to pick you up, but also wouldnât yield the last ramen at the local convenience store to you. Though he gives into his internal demands for petty possessiveness quite often, he cares deeply for his friends.Â
Heâs also the kind of guy people are quick to fall for, only to get crushed by his nonchalant but somewhat firm indifference for dating. Youâve witnessed him casually turn down far too many objectively gorgeous and incredibly intelligent people, which has convinced you that his standards are impossibly high. And if you were honest with yourself, based on the people heâd already rejected, it would be laughable for you to even think about confessing to him.
And so, as a close friend of the most sought-after man on campus, youâd like to think you know Jeonghan well enough to predict his thoughts on romance and his territoriality over ramen.
In fact, youâre sure about the ramen issue, because youâre witnessing it happen right now.
Youâre staring at his smirking face in the instant food aisle of the convenience store, both of you gripping the last Neoguri cup like itâs a trophy.
âYou gotta learn patience,â Jeonghan tuts, his lips upturned infuriatingly at one corner.Â
âNo, you should learn patience. ì ëčŒ, [Take your hand off,]â you demand, grasping the cup tighter.
âì«ìë°? [Donât wanna,]â he says in a sing-song voice, raising his chin in defiance.
The ramen cup creaks slightly under the pressure of your combined grip, and a terrible thought forms in your head. Your hand is sandwiched between his hand and the cup, making you feel the heat radiating from his body. Itâs something youâre afraid you could get used to.Â
You narrow your eyes, targeting his ridiculous, perfect lazy smile. âTake it off while Iâm being nice.â
âNah,â he replies immediately, smiling wider, his tongue sliding to the right.Â
Your heart lurches at the sight.Â
âìčìŹíêČ ì§ì§ ìŽëŽ ê±°ìŒ? [Youâre so petty, are you really going to be like this?]â You chew on your bottom lip, eyes flitting between his face and his hand.Â
Jeonghan tilts his head slightly, his dark eyes sharp and steady on yours. Heâs not really looking at the ramen anymore, and the intensity of his gaze makes your cheeks feel like theyâre on fire.
You press your lips together and jut your chin in defiance.Â
He sighs dramatically, shaking his head. His shaggy, dark hair flows with it, and you canât help but think that he looks princely like this, standing in the middle of this convenience store with his stupidly gorgeous face, and that dumb suit and tie.Â
âì볎íŽ. [Give it up.] Iâll give you whatever you want,â he says, his voice dipping lower. It feels less like an offer and more like a taunt, a challenge. His tone sends a small shiver through you, and for a second, youâre not sure if heâs teasing or serious.
You have to take a slow, deep breath to calm yourself down before even considering what to say next. Youâre grateful for the ride (and his company), of course, but that doesnât mean he can steal your rightful claim under your nose, in the same casual manner he has when letting one of his fans down.Â
Youâve always given into him. Because he means everything to you, of course.Â
But youâve had enough of letting him have his way so easily, not with your precious ramen at risk.
You boldly step closer to him, cutting the distance between the two of you in half. Youâre close enough to see your reflection in his eyes, now.Â
âIâm not letting go, íë [Hannie].â You firmly shake your head. You wouldnât let him win this time. âI donât want anything but this,â you add, stubbornly.
Tugging hard, you try to pull the cup toward you, but it frustratingly remains stuck on the shelf between the two of you. Looking back up, you see that he isnât even straining to keep the ramen in place! You frown, wondering when your best friend got so strong.
He leans in just a fraction closer. âKeep trying,â he murmurs, and heâs so close that you can feel his warm breath tickling your face.Â
The world narrows to Jeonghan, and the faint scent of the cologne he only wears on weekends. Itâs dizzying.
âìŒìì! [Hey!] I was here first!â you weakly defend, voice embarrassingly squeaky.
And then Jeonghan does something that completely short-circuits your brain.
His free hand lifts and brushes your hair away to your back, before resting on the divot between your neck and collarbone, where his thumb caresses the side of your neck. Feather-light, his touch is gentle, and his fingers are impossibly warm, a stark contrast to this slightly chilly convenience store. You just about choke on your surprise, your heart kicking into overdrive at the sheer intimacy of the gesture.Â
God, how is it that you never get a rest day with Jeonghan? How is it that heâs always flirting, always disregarding the boundaries of platonic and romantic love, always making you confused? And how is it that you just let it happen, that you just take whatever affection he gives you? How is it that youâre drawn into his dangerous touch like a moth to a flame? Except that analogy doesnât really work, because at least moths donât know that theyâre in danger when they reach fireâyou know what youâre getting into, and you know all too well that Jeonghan will never be yours.Â
âPlease?â he whispers.
Your breath hitches, suddenly aware that even for your overly-touchy friend, this level of skinship is extreme.Â
Does he know? Has he found out that youâre in love with him, that youâve been keeping this ungodly secret from him for far too long? Does he know that every time he lets someone down, that every time he complains to you about people confessing and crying over him, you give him superficial laughs as you swallow your own feelings?Â
Does he know that you feel like sinking into the ground every time he entertains a random girl flirting with him, and that every time he crosses boundaries with you, it hammers in the fact that he thinks youâre a joke?Â
Does he know that youâve spent over a year trying to convince yourself that you donât have feelings for him, only to fail miserably, because there is no such thing as cutting Yoon Jeonghan out of your life, because he makes you feel so, so alive?Â
He must know. He must be making fun of you, now.
Your eyes widen, frantically searching his face for an ounce of malice. And you expect to see the look he always has when shredding the hearts of the brave people who confess to him, the face he makes when he casually tells someone that he doesnât feel the same way. You expect to see an almost-cruel, blank stare paired with apologetic lips pressed together.Â
You expect him to crush your heart.Â
But instead, heâs staring at you with a gaze so, so, very soft, you wonder if youâve hallucinated it. Shining eyes, raised eyebrows, mouth partedâhe looks devastatingly beautiful.Â
You canât even bring yourself to blink, afraid that it might disappear before you can commit it to memory.
Technically, heâs looked like this beforeâyouâve seen it a handful of times on movie nights when you leaned against his shoulder, sleepily rambling about the bad decisions the main character had made. Youâve always figured that it was just the face he made when he was running on eight percent battery, tired and only half-registering the words coming out of your mouth.Â
But now, seeing this version of Jeonghan out of its usual context, your heart stops.Â
Your grip slackens.
In an instant, Jeonghan takes advantage of your daze. He snatches the ramen, links his arm through yours, and drags you to the counter. Your feet stumble, but his hold on you is firm, keeping you stable throughout the entire sudden exchange. He sets a bill on the counter, and then youâre being ushered out of the convenience store.Â
The freezing cold bites at your cheeks as you stand in a haze of confusion by the passenger seat of Jeonghanâs car, unable to do anything but just watch as he starts the engine and unlocks the door. He stares at you through the window, waiting.Â
If you could move a muscle on your face, youâd furrow your brows, wondering what heâs waiting for. But youâre still frozen, and before you can really think about it, Jeonghan gets tired of waiting.Â
He gets out of the car and walks over to you, squeezing your shoulders as he shifts you a little to the left. Withdrawing one of his hands from your shoulders, he opens the door, and then maneuvers you inside, using the same hand to cover the top frame of the door. You bump your forehead slightly against it, and he buckles you into the passenger seatâall without a word.
When you blink owlishly at him, he just ruffles your hair and shuts the door carefully, then walks over to the driverâs side.Â
Dazed, you literally have nothing to say.Â
When Jeonghan gets back into the car, he looks over at you with an unreadable gaze, then reaches his hand over the console to you, this time holding an object out. Your eyes flicker downward, then shoot up at him immediately.
The ramen?
You squint at his outstretched hand, eyebrows furrowed in disbelief.Â
Jeonghan never yields.Â
âTake it,â he says simply, airily, as if his giving up was obvious all along.
You hesitate, finger lightly tracing the top of the cup.Â
âCome on,â he insists, his eyes still intensely trained on yours. âI⊠it was always yours.â
Your fingers close over the cup, brushing his hand. He exhales softly, the corners of his lips twitching.
Averting your eyes from him and his strange actions, you drop the ramen in your lap, then settle for staring outside the window at the night sky, finding it unbearable to look at him. Drumming your fingers against the border of the window, you get lost in thought. Youâre not sure you can handle it if Jeonghan tries to flirt with you again. Every time he does it, it just hammers in the crushing idea that youâre nothing but a friend to him. That youâre just someone to practice on while he waits for the goddess of his dreams to appear, or something.
And then a strange thought occurs to you. A silly thought, really. When Jeonghan said that the ramen was always yours, he didnât use the âihâ sound that the word âitâ has. No, he used the pronoun âIâ first, before correcting himself. A faint, pitiful smile makes its way to your lips as your heart pangs.Â
Just what would you give to hear him say âI was always yoursâ someday?
Oh, maybe everything.Â
ââââàšà§ââââ
The gentle hum of the car engine fills the silence from the lack of conversation between the two of you. The moon and the stars are beautiful tonight, and youâre content with staring at them instead of the man driving the car. You prop your head up with your elbow against the window, closing your eyes with every lull of the engine. If Jeonghan ever looked over at you at a red light, you wouldnât know, preoccupied with pretending to be asleep.Â
When you feel the car come to a complete stop, youâre still feigning sleep, but you canât help but furrow your eyebrows slightly. Surely, 40 minutes havenât already passed? It seems way too soon. Had you actually dozed off at some point between staring out the window and faking sleep?
You peek one eye open, only to startle at Jeonghanâs gaze trained on you already, immediately opening the other. He seems completely at ease, with one hand gripping the steering wheel and the other resting on the gear shift. He stretches his fingers, accentuating the veins on his forearms, and you have to avert your eyes for a moment.Â
âì ì€ë? [Sleep well?]â he asks casually.Â
You look back at him, and see a strand of his dark hair fall into his eyes. Fingers twitching, you fight the urge to brush it behind his ear.Â
You answer him with a nod and flush, wondering if he could tell you were acting the entire time. Hands itching for something to do, you fiddle with your seatbelt.
âìŒ, ë ìą ëłŽêł ë§íŽëŽ, ì? [Hey, canât you look at me and talk, hmm?]â
You glance at Jeonghan out of the corner of your eye, then shy away again. He looks too good right now, too much like a doting boyfriend. You pick at a loose thread from the bottom hem of your shirt.
âì꟞ ë넌 ì 볎ëêč ììíë€. [You keep not looking at me, Iâm sad.]â
You faintly laugh. In all your years of knowing the man, youâve yet to see Yoon Jeonghan truly sad. Heâs always, always composed. He never says anything without thinking about it first, and he doesnât have to lift a single finger that he doesnât want to, because he knows that people will jump just to fall at his feet. Itâs funny that Jeonghan now just assumes that with a few pretty words, heâll get his way.Â
But your resentment is growing. It started with the ramen, and built up with how he won at the end of the fight. And it peaked when he gloated under the guise of kindly yielding the cup to you, leaving you stranded in your confusion, leaving you to sort out your racing mind and heart. Whatâs worse is, he has a history of doing this to you. But you never learn. Because he also has a history of giving the best, warmest, longest hugs. And he tells you all the time that he wants to be with you forever, that even when youâre 80 and wrinkly, heâll come over every day to sing duets using your karaoke machine. And he has a bad habit of staring into your eyes with so much adoration, that you mistake it for real love.Â
He has a history of making you think that his flirting might actually mean something real to him. But he never confesses any feelings, because they donât exist, and you feel the pain of being used as romantic practice all the same.Â
Youâve tried to convince yourself to just accept his affections as platonic love, but it has become increasingly more difficult to ignore it. How can you, when you get a rush of serotonin from seeing how bright his smile is when he whispers an inside joke to you in the middle of your fatally boring math discussion? How can you, when Jeonghan insists on picking you up from work even though itâs a waste of time and gas for him to make the far drive here and back? Your heart has grown to accommodate, and even expect, the constant fluttering it feels in his presence.Â
So, to be exact, itâs not that you feel resentment toward himâitâs resentment for your lack of a backbone when it comes to all things Yoon Jeonghan. It happens all the time; you get mad at him, and the consequences last for all of five seconds before your will caves.Â
âê·Œë, ì ììíìì, [Youâre not sad, though],â you softly say, eyes now tracing the glow of the crescent moon.Â
Jeonghan shifts in his seat, questioning your words. âWhat? Why would you say that?â
âìëìŒ, [No,] forget it.â You sigh, eyes falling to your hands again. Picking at a hangnail, you inhale deeply.Â
âWhy wouldnât I be sad? I love talking to you.â He removes his hands from the wheel and gear shift, then reaches out for yours.
You flinch, and he freezes.Â
âHey, did I⊠do something wrong?â His voice shakes, suddenly sounding strained. Itâs the complete opposite of how he was just three seconds ago.
You swallow thickly. No, he didnât do anything wrong. âìë, [No,] itâs my fault.â
He frowns. âWhat did I do? Please, tell me. Iâm sorry, whatever it is, I can fix it, I promise.â He looks at you so earnestly, your heart sinks.Â
â귞걎 ë¶ê°ë„íŽ, ì íì. [Thatâs not possible, Jeonghan.]â The words come out slowly and breathily, as if itâs taken you half of your life force to say them. You stare out the window again, this time at the stars, and add, âWe should really get back, now. Whyâd you stop here, anyway?â
âI figured you didnât eat yet,â he says carefully. âI thought youâd want to get Thai. When youâre hangry, you yell at the TV more, and I get complaints from my neighbors.â
You blink, turning your attention down to the stores lining the street rather than the night sky. Jeonghan really had driven to your favorite Thai restaurant. âOh. I didnât know I did that, sorry.â
âItâs okay,â he replies softly. âI never liked my neighbors anyway.â
Your eyes close, remembering when one of your classmates, who happened to be his neighbor, confessed to him. He had vented to you about friends needing to understand when not to cross lines. The memory makes you smile weakly again, acknowledging how strong youâve been for managing not to confess so far.Â
Jeonghan continues, âBut hey, your neighbors donât like me, either. Remember when they banged on your door because we were singing too loud?â
You laugh this time, and itâs fleeting but itâs not forced. âìžì ìŻ€ ìêž°ìŒ? [How long ago was that?] That was like two years ago.â
Jeonghan smiles. âYou were wearing those teddy bear pajama pants, and I had my Cookie Monster pants on. They were like 70, and told us to stop being childish and grow up.â
âMaybe they had a point,â you say with a sigh, running a hand through your hair. âI didnât know that you paid attention to those things,â you add offhandedly.Â
âPay attention to what?â
âYou know, just⊠the stuff I wear, the random shit I do,â you say, picking at your split ends.Â
Jeonghanâs wide eyes narrow, and you feel too hot under his intense gaze.
âWhy wouldnât I?â he asks, voice deep and tinged with something you canât quite put a finger on. The question feels strangely charged. With what, you donât know.Â
You gnaw on your lip.Â
âAnswer me. Why shouldnât I?âÂ
âI donât know,â you shrug, feeling put on the spot. âIâm just your friend. Shouldnât you be spending your energy remembering weird stuff about a girlfriend? Like a serious romantic partner, or something?â
Jeonghan groans, running a hand through his hair, before it comes down on the console with a light thud. Your eyes widen at his unexpected physical display of emotion, taking in his clenched fists and heaving chest.Â
âíë? [Hannie?]â you say softly, concerned. He doesnât normally resort to physical exertions when frustrated, probably because he doesnât get frustrated very often at all.
Your hand reaches out to his right bicep, where you rub the muscle soothingly.Â
âNow youâre calling me íë [Hannie] again,â he says with a marginally more relieved, deep sigh.Â
You furrow your brows. âWhat?â
âNow youâre calling me íë [Hannie] again,â he repeats. âPlease, donât call me ì í [Jeonghan]. Only íë [Hannie].â
âOkay?â you say tentatively, unsure where this is going.
âYou know I love you, right?â he says suddenly, staring at his hands.Â
You blink rapidly. âOf course. I love you, too.â Heâs your best friend, but youâre probably not his best friend.Â
Jeonghan jolts, looking at you directly in the eyes now. âYou know I love you more, right?â
He looks a bit crazed like this, his frantic chocolate brown eyes searching deeply for something in your face. At a loss for words, you gape your mouth at him like a fish out of water.Â
âIâm not sure thatâs possible,â you manage to say. âI bet I love you a lot more.âÂ
The statement is accompanied by a rather self-deprecating laugh from you, the kind that digs deep into your heart even as you try your best to seem casual.Â
âNo, no,â he says, reaching with his left hand to grasp the hand youâve been patting his right bicep with. This time, you donât pull away. âYou donât get it. I love you.âÂ
What?
Your heartbeat begins to beat so loudly that the sound of it pumping overwhelms your thoughts. Your chest tightens, and youâre half-sure that you just hallucinated it.
âëëŒêł ? [What did you just say?]â
âìŹëíë€êł , [That I love you,]â he chokes out, his voice thick with the one emotion youâve been dreaming of him reciprocating.Â
You gasp.
âPlease,â he whispers. âPlease donât be mad at me.â
Oh.
Crestfallen, your heart drops. You pull your hand away from him.Â
This must be his new way to get you to relieve your âanger.â He doesnât actually love you romantically, he just wants you to go back to acting like you normally do. Heâll never feel the same way that you do, in the crushing way that drives you insane every day, in the way thatâ
Is this real? A dream, maybe? The real Jeonghan would never say this. He would never, ever entertain the idea that you could ever be more thanâ
âëŽê° ìŹëíë€êł íëë°, ì ì돎 ë§ìŽ ììŽ? [I just said I love you, why wonât you say anything?]â Jeonghanâs voice quakes, and youâre taken aback by his pained, strained eyebrows and glittering eyes.Â
Jeonghanâs eyes well with tears. He swallows thickly, âë⊠ìëìŒ? [Am I⊠not it for you?]â
Your breath catches. Heâs crying. Yoon JeonghanâYoon Jeonghan is crying? Youâve never even seen him sad, let alone crying. Heâs always been untouchable, effortless in the way he teases and flirts with you, so sure of himself. So nonchalant and casual with his affection, that youâd always thought he never truly meant anything by it. But here he is, raw and vulnerable in front of you, holding his heart out with both handsâeyes rimmed red, voice breaking, mouth trembling. All because of you?Â
He really means it, huh? The realization slams into you so hard you feel like you canât breathe, let alone speak, your chest constricting like youâre having a heart attack. All those lingering touches, all these years. The way heâs always made you the center of his jokes, how he has the softest shifts in his voice when someone mentions your nameâit wasnât all a game to him? It was never just practice for someone else, for someone better?Â
It was love?
God, you had been so overwhelmed with self doubt and insecurity that youâd convinced yourself that you had no chance, all while he was giving you clues through his proud affections, every day.
The man in question looks at you like youâve just shattered his fragile heart, tears fully trailing down to his chin, now.
Feeling like your entire body has been engulfed in flames, you reach a trembling hand out past the gear shift. It trembles despite yourself as your arm extends to caress his cheek, where you carefully rub his tears away.Â
Jeonghan shudders when your hand touches him, and he shuts his eyes. More tears fall.
âíë, [Hannie],â you breathe shallowly, still feeling an immense pressure in your chest. âLook at me.â When he doesnât open his eyes, you swallow roughly. âíë, [Hannie], please?â
Stubbornly, Jeonghan keeps his eyes closed, and you shakily sigh. You want to tell himâno, you need to tell him that you love him with every fiber of your being, but you need to see his eyes to register whether he understands you. He needs to open those beautiful, brown eyes of his.Â
Youâve never told him that you love him in Korean before. Something about it always felt too intimate, while âI love youâ in English felt less charged. But you think he needs to hear it now.
Withdrawing your hand from his cheek, you unbuckle your seatbelt at last. Finally freed, you shift your legs until you're sitting on the back of your calves, facing the stunning, devastated man in the driverâs seat.
âíëìŒ, [Hannie],â you say softly, his name a prayer on your lips, your face coming near his.Â
You raise your hands up to tenderly brush the tears away from the soft tissue right under his eyes. Trembling, your right hand brushes a strand of hair out of his face, then rests on the back of his neck.Â
Heart threatening to jump out of your chest, you hesitantly move closer, and closer, until your lips gently meet his forehead in a kiss so light, you foolishly wonder if he even feels your lips there at all.
âíëìŒ, ìŹëíŽ. [Hannie, I love you.]âÂ
Jeonghan stills immediately. You can feel his hot breath catch against your neck, and you feel a shiver come down your spine.Â
âI donât want anyone else. Just you,â you say choppily, each word spilling out before you can think about what you really just said.Â
When you retreat an inch or two back from his forehead, you can see that he has finally opened his eyes.Â
âYou mean it?â he asks, voice high-pitched in disbelief.Â
Not trusting your voice, you nod three times.Â
âSay it again,â he begs, his red-rimmed eyes downturned.
âìŹëíŽ, íëìŒ [I love you, Hannie]. I tried so hard not to. ëŽ ë§ìì ì êł ë€ë„ž ìŹëì ë°ëŒëłŽêł ì¶ììŽ. ì¶ìëë°âŠ [I wanted to let go of my feelings for you and search for someone else. Thatâs what I wanted, butâŠ]â
Jeonghan inhales sharply. Distressed, his Adam's apple bobs up and down. Your heart aches at the sight of him so exposed, and your thumb moves to rub soothing circles by his collarbone.Â
You assure him, âê·Œë° ê·žêČ ì§ì§ ê·žë„ ì ëê±°ìŒ. ëì í ë넌 íŹêž°í ì ìììŽ. [But that really just didnât work. There was no way I could bring myself to give you up.]â
Your fingers close to his neck, you feel Jeonghanâs pulse racing. Trying to help his heart settle down, you press another light kiss to his forehead, cradling the back of his head with your other hand. His breath shudders against your cheek.Â
âYouâre it for me, íë [Hannie]. Okay?â Sheepish, you feel a bit embarrassed at having been so honest.Â
Now that youâve bared your heart and soul to him, you take the opportunity to really look at him, since you were distracted with telling your part for the past few minutesâand, oh.Â
His pupils are so dilated, his eyes look almost black. His breathing has slowed down compared to earlier, but his fists are still clenched, like heâs holding something back.Â
In a low voice, so deep that it wouldnât have been audible if you werenât practically pressed against him, Jeonghan finally responds to your confession.Â
âYou love me,â he says hesitantly, like heâs asking to confirm.Â
The corners up your lip turn up, and he grins. âYou love me,â he says again, only louder this time, and then heâs leaning forward into you.Â
His hands find you first, clinging to your neck and waist sweetly yet firmly, like heâs afraid to let you go now that he finally has you.
When his lips meet yours, you melt into the kiss. His lips are warm, softer than you expected, moving against yours with an aching tenderness. Your fingers curl into the fabric of his shirt as his hands tighten around your waist, pulling you in like heâs afraid youâll slip away.
He tilts his head slightly, deepening the kiss, and a shiver runs down your spine when his thumb brushes along the curve of your jaw. The touch is so careful, so reverent, like heâs memorizing every part of you.
Then, he pulls back just an inchâjust enough for his breath to fan across your lips, his forehead resting against yours. His eyes, dark and unreadable, search yours as if needing confirmation.
"You love me? ì§ìŹìŽì§? [Youâre serious, right?]" His voice is barely above a whisper.
Your chest tightens at the sheer vulnerability in his expression. You cup his cheek, brushing your thumb against his damp skin, and nod. "ìŹëíŽ, íëìŒ. [I love you, Hannie.] ì§ì§, [Really,] I always have."
A sound escapes himâsomewhere between a laugh and a sigh of reliefâbefore he leans in again, kissing you with more urgency this time. His hands tangle into your hair, fingers curling at the nape of your neck as he presses you impossibly closer. The kiss is deeper now, more certain. He parts his lips slightly, and you do the same, the heat between you growing into something undeniable.
Your hands wanderâone slipping into his hair, the other trailing down his shoulder. He shudders under your touch, and you feel the tension slowly unraveling from his body, like heâs finally letting himself believe this is real.
When you finally part for air, he lets out a shaky laugh, thumb ghosting over your kiss-swollen lips. "You have no idea how long Iâve waited for this," he murmurs, his voice husky.
Your heart swells at the confession. "Actually, I think I do," you whisper back before pulling him into another kiss, this time knowingâwithout a doubtâthat neither of you are going anywhere.
ââââàšà§ââââÂ
âíë, [Hannie,]â you say, leaning against him on the sofa in your apartment, drawing random shapes on his chest with your right hand. âWe should go on a drive again.â
âMm, a drive?â he says, distracted by his fascination with observing your left hand, holding it like a precious gem.Â
âYeah, ë°ë ìą ìì [letâs get some air]. A night drive.â
His hands stall, lips curling up at the corners. âOh, a night drive, huh? ììŹì ìž ê±°ë€. [How historic.]â
You bury your face in his chest. âMmh,â you say to his shirt.
âYou know, you said ìŹëíŽ [I love you] to me for the first time on a night drive,â he says casually. His hands let go of your left hand, then make their way to your head, patting your hair gently.Â
You prop your chin up on his stomach, expecting to see Jeonghanâs pure smile. But instead, heâs smirking at you.Â
âYou wanted me so bad.â He sighs dramatically. âWhat else could I do, but accept your love?â
You canât help but smile. âI think youâre misremembering things a little, íë [Hannie].â
âOh, am I?â he gasps, wide-eyed and open-mouthed.Â
If he were anyone else, heâd look stupid feigning ignorance. Fortunately for you, though, he isnât anyone elseâheâs the love of your life, and he makes everything look good.Â
âUgh,â you say, eyes shining. âYou look dumb, stop it.â
âYou love it,â he says cheekily, arms falling from your head to wrap around you in a big hug.Â
âMmfph,â you say in response, relishing in the warmth radiating from his body.Â
âNot denying it, I see,â he says. âOverwhelmed by your love for me, you dove at my poor, innocent self in the car, kissing me all over!â
âPfft,â you laugh. âNo, that was you!â
âNo,â Jeonghan pouts.
âI happen to remember a little crybaby confessing first,â you say with an upside down smile, hugging him tighter.
Jeonghanâs eyes look up at the ceiling. âëŹŽìš ë§ìžì§âŠ [I donât know what youâre talking aboutâŠ]â
âìŒì! [Hey!]â your hand slaps his chest lightly. âë ìą ëŽëŽ, ì? [Look at me, hmm?]â
âì«ìë°? [Donât wanna,]â he says, pouting.Â
Jeonghan laughs, âê°êžŽ ìŽëê°, ìŹêž° ëë€ ì§ìŽìì. [Leave? What do you mean, leave? This is your house.]âÂ
Jeonghan hugs you tighter, then suddenly sits up, taking you with him.Â
âìŹëíŽ, [I love you,]â he says earnestly, staring deeply into your eyes, as if he wants to dive into the depths of your iris. Your name leaves his lips fervently, like a prayer.
âìŹëíŽ, íëìŒ, [I love you, Hannie,]â you say back, and you mean it.Â
Because Yoon Jeonghan is simultaneously the funniest, weirdest, kindest, most devastatingly handsome man youâve ever met. And heâs yours.
Masterlist
Author's Note: hereâs a big literary hug <3
Disclaimer: nothing i write is representative of how svt acts off camera, take their names as stand-ins for oc's!!
⟠stay alive // c.yj - @fairybinie - (yeonjun and gn!reader are targets for their powers and theyâre running out of solutions. all yeonjun wants is for y/n to stay alive, yet everything always comes with a price and secrets always come out. )
⟠BUSTED! - @pr0dbeomgyu (bumping into her shitty ex out of nowhere while hanging out with her friends, y/n was determined to show that she was way better off without him. desperate enough, she paid choi yeonjun, a cheapskate stranger she met 5 seconds ago, to act as her rich, classy boyfriend. y/n thought it was fine to change some things about her life to yeonjun (read: everything), cause heck, they donât even know each other! but why is it that after the incident, yeonjun kept on appearing in her life, finding out the truth about her one by one, in the worst possible way?)
⟠[ áŽ.ÊᎠ] | đ¶đ»đ°đŒđ»đđœđ¶đ°đđŒđđ - @gyuslvrr (yeonjun wants you, but all you can see is how tired he is)
⟠[12:17AM] - @iknowyuu (drunk!reader tries to chase away the man following them, not realizing itâs their boyfriend.)
⟠â JACK FROST NIPPING AT YOUR NOSE â boyfriend!choi yeonjun. - @theynchapter
⟠â dinner plans đ€ choi yeonjun - @dearlyjun (you and yeonjunâs dinner plans quickly change into something else.)
⟠storage room smooch - @soobszzn (you want to show your super sporty and athletic boyfriend yeonjun just how supportive you can be.)
⟠a bouquet of flower - choi yeonjun - @p0ckykiss (yeonjun always keeps one flower to himself from your bouquet and you can't figure out why.)
⟠â my girl (c.yj) ⥠- @taegimood
⟠TAKE ME ON A DATE â CHOI YEONJUN - @yuoniz (you realise your best friend's feelings for you when you try to play matchmaker)
⟠đ§đš đšđ§đ đđźđ đČđšđź ⥠choi yeonjun. - @yeonboy (If you had known that a fun night out eating junk food with your best friend that you have always harbored a crush on would turn this sour because he misunderstood your words, you would have kept your mouth shut. Now Yeonjun has gone radio silent on you and if you want to salvage your friendship, you will have to get over your feelings first because he will never forgive you if he finds out. Right?)
⟠just the tip - @seoulzie (yeonjun cant hold himself back & begs reader for "just the tip")
summary: Yeonjunâs got a lot on his plate. Not only does he have to worry about being a star student, but he also has to be the cityâs web-slinging hero. And a lab intern. And a semi-decent roommate. And a little bit in love with you.
pairings: yeonjun x fem!reader
word count: 18.9k
tags: fluff, smut (mdni), some angst, spiderman!yeonjun, his webs shoot from his actual wrists like tobey maguireâs spiderman, college au, yeonjun is a cute awkward charming nerd, inaccurate science stuff sorry, blood, physical violence, lots of spidey shenanigans, campy weird action scene teehee, small arguments
smut tags: making out, heavy petting, webs as cuffs LOLLL, thigh riding, edging, fingering, praise, unprotected sex, cum eating, oral (f rec.), yeonjun is so playful and such a tease
notes: omg sheâs finally here!!! i am so excited to get this out to u guys hehe<3 tysm for all the love on the teaser, i hope spideyjjun steals ur heart. enjoy the fic !!!
Saving the city can suck sometimes. Homework sucks significantly more. If Yeonjun had the option to zip through the city chasing some bad guys instead of sitting here trying to finish his calculus assignment, heâd be flying out his window in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, responsibility is a virtue, and Yeonjun cannot swing through the city for no good reason.
The one good thing about this tedious, awful calculus homework is that if itâs hard enough, he always gets a text from you. His body springs to life when he hears his phone buzz, rushing to pick it up and check the notification.
[you] have u done the calc homework
[you] how do you solve #4 :(
Do most of your conversations revolve around your shared class? Yes. Does Yeonjun ever get tired of teaching you the concepts? No, never. In fact, he stretches out his explanations as long as possible to keep you talking to him longer. Yeonjun never knew before that math talk could make his heart flutter.
âSo, does that make sense?â he asks after a long-winded explanation. Heâs almost out of breath after spewing out so much math jargon, but being on a call with you for ten minutes has similarly breathtaking effects.
âYeah. Thanks, Yeonjun.â He bites back a giggle upon hearing your words. âYou should seriously be teaching this class,â you say with a laugh.
âOh, no, I wouldnâtâI mean, IâmâIâm more of a science guy,â he stammers out, lips tightening into a thin line at the embarrassment of stumbling over his own sentence. âOur professorâs pretty cool, too,â he adds as if that saves him at all.
âIs he? Maybe I should start going to his office hours,â you muse.
Oh. Well in that case, your professor sucks. Yeonjun canât have you stop coming to him for math help; youâd never talk to him at all if it came to that!
âHeâs not that cool,â Yeonjun says. You laugh, and he huffs out a short chuckle too.
âNoted. Iâm gonna go now, but thanks for helping me. Youâre the best.â Your praise goes straight to Yeonjunâs head, making him feel like the greatest man to ever live. He doesnât even feel this accomplished after going out on his little spidey-missions.
Heâs a beat too late to say goodbye or good night to you, the call already hanging up as he opens his mouth to speak. He melts into a puddle over his desk, sighing out as he plays back his conversation with you in his head. He thinks you have the prettiest voice heâs ever heard. Youâre so smart, too. He never has to over exert himself to get you to understand, though he would happily do that for you.
He jolts up as his roommate walks into his dorm. Yeonjun glances at him quickly as he straightens out his posture, picking his pencil back up and returning to his homework.
âHey,â his roommate, Soobin, greets quietly. Yeonjun didnât know Soobin prior to this semester, but heâs been pretty nice. Heâs very quiet, but very respectful of Yeonjunâs space. Itâs much appreciated, considering Yeonjunâs hiding a few of his red and blue spandex suits in his closet.
âHey. How was your day?â Yeonjun asks, only half-interested in the conversation.
He watches Soobin shrug from his peripheral as he slides off his shoes. âNormal,â he answers.
Yeonjun nods. âCool.â The conversation kind of dies after that, which is fine. Soobin isnât the most extroverted person, and Yeonjun doesnât push him to talk more than heâs willing to. He sometimes forgets he even has a roommate with how quiet it gets in the room.
Yeonjun regains his focus a minute into the silence. His eyes widen when he realizes that thereâs now a doodle of your face on his calculus homeworkâwhen did that get there..? His face heats up as he grabs an eraser from his deskâs drawer. Thank god he didnât do this assignment in pen.
Yeonjunâs not really paying attention to the professor, finding more interest in taking quick glances at you. Youâre wearing a different bracelet today. Itâs really prettyâmaybe he should compliment you on it. Is it weird to lean in and tell you that? Are you close enough where he can compliment you without looking weird and creepy?
He rests his head in his hand and starts doodling in his notebook, mindlessly scribbling on the page while he waits for the lecture to end. He thinks of quick conversational things to say, something to discuss in a few minutes when itâs time to pack your bags and leave. Interesting class, right? Who wouldâve thoughtâYeonjun looks up at the projector to see the professorâs notesâthe shell method⊠would be so cool⊠Maybe he shouldnât say that, actually.
Heâs honestly better off not trying to strike up a conversation with you at all; the chances of it leading to total and utter embarrassment lean greatly towards one hundred percent. He just wishes he had a little more spine, or that he was naturally a little cooler. The only interesting thing about him is something he canât even talk to you about, or with anyone at all.
Yeonjun barely registers it when the professor dismisses class. He steals one last glance toward you, lips parting like he finally built up the courage to speak, but the words build up in his throat and die on his tongue. He seals his lips and focuses his gaze back on his own things, closing his notebook and shoving it in his bag. Itâs not worth it. He decides heâll just keep his mouth shut.
âHey Yeonjun?â
Yeonjun almost jumps out of his seat, and he has to fight away his nerves as he turns to you. Youâre packing your things back into your bag, not even looking at him. A part of him thinks he might be hearing things until your eyes meet his, waiting for an answer.
âYeah?â he responds, voice coming out strained. He clears his throat.
âWeâre friends, right?â you ask. He blinks, feeling like this is some kind of trick. He analyzes your face, making sure thereâs nothing snide or teasing hidden in your question. You look honest enough, which puts him at ease.
âYeah, for sure.â
âI hope thatâs not sarcasm,â you say, getting up from your seat and adjusting your bag over your shoulders.
âItâs not! Really, weâre friends,â he reassures. You walk past him and he follows, leaving the classroom and entering the busy hallway.
âWell, good. I wanted you to go with me somewhere.â Your statement is wildly cryptic, and it leaves Yeonjunâs mind whirling with the possibilities of what you might offer.
âRight now?â he asks. âI-I have classâŠâ As much as he likes you, he really canât risk dropping his grade due to missed attendance.
You laugh, âNo, tonight. Thereâs this party, and Iââyou keep talking, but Yeonjun barely registers it. Heâs never partied in college before. What would he even do at a party? He canât handle his drinks well, and heâs not sure how well heâd blend into that kind of environment. Heâs scared heâd make a fool of himself.
As you leave the academic building, you turn to Yeonjun, raising a brow in question. You must have asked him for his confirmation. Yeonjun forces his brain to rack up a response.
âCould you text me the details..?â Yeonjun asks. You relax a little at his words, nodding happily. You pull out your phone, ready to text him now. Yeonjun feels his heart pounding. He catches sight of the time on your phone, noticing heâs only got five minutes until his next class. The hall heâs supposed to be in is at least a three minute walk from here.
âThere,â you say, awarding Yeonjun with a grin so bright that being late to class might just be worth it. âI really hope to see you there.â You tilt your head a little, and Yeonjun feels starstruck.
Yeonjun feared he mightâve been in trouble when his professor asked him to stay after class. Turns out, itâs something much worse.
âYeonjun, do you think you could help in the lab later today?â
Yeonjun doesnât think much before he nods. âYeah, of course, how much later?â
âAround 6 this evening,â his professor answers. Yeonjunâs heart drops. That would be perfectly fine any other day, but he promised to go out with you today. Of course the party would start at the same time Yeonjunâs professor wants him to stop by the lab.
âIâm not sure I have the time,â Yeonjun says quickly, suddenly fidgety and feeling antsy to leave the room. âIâve got this⊠thing to do.â His professor doesnât look too convinced. Yeonjun wants to facepalm himself. Yeah, great excuse.
The professor sighs, but Yeonjun starts up again before his professor can say anything. âI can come in earlier! Iâm free right now, so I could just go over after this.â
âThe cells weâre working with need a full 24 hours in culture for the sake of our research. Are you sure you canât push your plans forward? Or back?â he asks.
Yeonjunâs stomach twists with guilt. He knows he shouldnât let his professor down. Yeonjunâs kind of counting on him to write his recommendation letter for a graduate program, too.
âIâll push the plans back,â Yeonjun says, giving in. He hopes the dejection isnât too evident in his voice. His professor smiles and pats Yeonjunâs shoulder in thanks. He half-listens as his professor gives him the usual rundown of what to do during and after the process, nodding along and holding back the frown that tries to tug at his lips.
When Yeonjun finally leaves the building, he lets out the heaviest sigh of his life. His shoulders sag, and he feels like he might be the unluckiest person in the world. You finally give him attention outside of just asking for homework help, and the universe just had to intervene. This is laughable. Itâs also stupid. Annoying. Frustrating.
Thereâs a pout etched onto Yeonjunâs face as he walks back to his dorm. Heâs got a couple hours until he needs to go to the lab, so maybe he can take a nap or tidy up his room a little. His head hangs low, gaze transfixed on the sidewalk, kicking along a small pebble that keeps him company on the way.
He only picks his head back up as he walks past a certain field of grass, one he often finds you sitting in. Sometimes youâre on your laptop, sometimes youâre taking notes in a textbook, but most of the time youâre just lounging and doing nothing. Itâs almost inspiring. Yeonjun would probably benefit from relaxing and decompressing more.
Youâre there, sitting cross-legged on the grass, peaceful and silent. You look up suddenly, making eye contact with Yeonjun. His face flushes, but before he can turn his head in embarrassment, you raise your hand and wave. Yeonjun almost stops in his tracks. Youâre waving at him, acknowledging his existence yet again.
He smiles and waves back, failing to tame his heartbeat as he takes the sight of you in. Heâs forced to look away when he nearly stumbles over the pebble heâs been kicking aroundââOh, shit!â he utters, quietly enough to not draw attention to himself.
He glances back at you casually, making sure you didnât witness him tripping. Fortunately, youâre on your phone, no longer paying him any mind.
Back at his dorm, Yeonjun stands by his closet, contemplating what exactly to wear tonight. He also has to make sure his outfit is lab-friendly, so the loose sweater heâd been eyeing is a no-go. He sighs, looking at himself in the mirror. Maybe the t-shirt and jeans heâs wearing now will suffice.
Time passes slowly, slow enough for Yeonjun to clean his half of the room, make himself a small meal in the communal kitchen, and even read a chapter ahead in his calculus textbook. He almost feels relieved when his alarm sets off to go to the lab, eager to get his work over with.
Heâs determined to get this done quickly enough to still see you tonight. The thought of letting you down the one time you ask him to hang out is almost painful. He imagines the frown youâd wear next time he sits next to you in class. He canât let that happen; he has to make sure he gets to you.
He throws on his lab coat and adjusts the goggles to fit onto his face. He sighs as he grabs containers of various chemical compounds from the cabinet, leaving them on the counter as he fetches the other materials he needs. With everything set out in front of him, he grabs the petri dish of cells and glances at the procedural note his professor left.
Yeonjunâs done this enough times to get into the swing of things, so heâs not too concerned with double checking his every move. His bigger priority is getting this done as fast as possible so that he can get to you. Lab work is never particularly fun or interesting, so he passes the time thinking about you.
The smell of the chemicals burns Yeonjunâs nose a little, and he wonders for a second if heâd been zoning out too much. He picks up the procedural note and glances over the measurements again, making sure heâs been adding the right amounts of everything. If he does something wrong and messes with the cell culture, he risks not being allowed back in the lab. He should probably slow down a bit, even if it means making you wait longer.
Heâs more careful throughout the rest of the process, pushing back the worries that he mightâve messed something up. He continues to reassure himself that everythingâs okay as he finishes up his work, placing the lid back on the petri dish and storing it away. He writes the date and time on a piece of tape that he sticks onto the lid, then finally lets his body relax as he steps back.
He cracks his knuckles to alleviate the stiffness that had been building there and rolls his shoulders back, groaning at the soreness of his muscles. All the fine motor movements from working in a lab does a number on his arms and fingers.
He hears a rattle, and he turns quickly to make sure he didnât knock anything over in his haste. His eyes scan the room, but nothing looks amiss. He shakes the feeling and sheds himself of his lab gear, eager to head to you at the party already.
Itâs been over an hour, and the thought of you waiting so long for Yeonjunâs arrival strikes guilt inside his chest. He opens his phone to find the path he needs to walk to get to the house the partyâs being held in, eyes bugging out when he sees that itâs a twenty minute walk from the lab. Shit, by then youâll have been waiting an hour and a half for him to show up!
He groans, trying to think if thereâs a better way to get to you. The buses around campus donât stop at the street he needs to get to, and itâs not like he has one of those electric bicycles or scooters that everyone seems to love. He wonders now if it might be a worthy investment. He pouts and throws his head back, totally drained from everything happening today. His eyes land on the tops of the academic buildings and the tall trees overhead. Maybe there is another way to get there after all.
No, he shouldnât. That would be way too reckless. Heâs already gone through the whole power and responsibility spiel, and heâs not in the mood to get himself in trouble for acting rashly. But if no one seesâŠ
He turns his head and scans for people in each direction. No oneâs around. No one would know, and he really needs to get to the party before he makes himself look like an asshole. He checks for anyone one last time, then aims his wrist towards the sky.
âYeonjun! Whatâs up!â
Yeonjun startles and brings his arm back to his side hastily. He whips around to see whoâs talking to him and lets out a breath when he sees his friend who had just exited the lab building. âTaehyun, hey man,â he says, ignoring the anxious pounding of his heart. That was way too close. Lesson learned.
âDidnât catch you at the physics meet last week. Everything alright?â Taehyun asks. Yeonjun really hopes this conversation doesnât take too long. The last thing he needs is another ten minutes piled on top of how late he already is.
âIâm good, I was justââcontrolling a fire set by some idiot arsonist, then trapping said arsonist with his webs until the cops arrivedââuh, kind of sick.â
Taehyun hums and nods. âWell, we missed you bro, hope youâre feeling better. Iâll see you around!â Yeonjun waves and returns the smile his friend gives him, then walks as fast as he can to the location you sent him. He manages to get there in fifteen minutes instead of twenty, only at the expense of heavy breathing like he just finished a marathon.
When he gets to the entrance, thereâs two men Yeonjun has never seen in his life guarding the door. He almost scoffs. What is this, some kind of nightclub?
âYou got the money?â one of the guys ask.
âWhat?â Yeonjun scrunches his brows and leans his head forward a little, thinking he might have misheard him.
âNo money, no entrance,â the other man says.
âDude, come on!â Yeonjun whines.
âHouse rules. Stop wasting our time and get out of line.â
âNo, no, IâllââYeonjun sighs, reaching into the back pocket of his pants to fetch out his wallet. âHow much?â he asks. The men tell him, and he bites back the complaints that almost push past his lips. Yeonjun slaps the bills into the guyâs open palm. They finally open the door for him, and Yeonjun steps inside.
Heâs taken aback by how many people are cramped into this place. The house is pretty big, but thereâs at least a hundred people mingling around, which makes space tight. He squeezes past the crowd with muttered apologies, but no one seems to pay him any mind. He scans every room for you, but itâs a little hard to do it efficiently when thereâs so many faces to check. A part of him fears you mightâve left already.
He pulls out his phone, ready to text you and ask, before he feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns at the action and smiles when heâs met with your pretty face. âHey, you!â you exclaim. âI thought you bailed on me.â Thereâs no real bite to your words, but it still makes Yeonjun frown.
âIâm sorry. I had to do this lab thing, andââ
âItâs alright, donât explain. Youâre here now!â you say. âDid you have anything to drink?â
Yeonjun shakes his head. âI donât drink much.â
âMe either,â you say. You look out the window, then grab onto Yeonjunâs hand. His brain short-circuits, and he has to stop his eyes from going all dumb and wide. âItâs kinda stuffy in here. Letâs go outside.â
Yeonjun puts up no fight as you lead him out the back door, walking out into the yard. Thereâs almost as many people out here as there are inside, but the lack of walls means thereâs more space to move. Itâs much more breathable.
He takes quick glances at your face, trying to decipher what youâre staring so hard at. Your gaze is fixed on a small group of people just sitting and laughing. All the guys have girls in their laps, and a few girls stand around them, sipping their drinks. They all look happy. And drunk.
âDid you want to join them?â Yeonjun asks. He doesnât know any of those people, but heâll go if thatâs what youâd like. Itâs not like thereâs much else to do when youâre not drinking or dancing.
The LED lights that line the house reflect in your eyes, making them dazzle extra bright. Your eyes dart to the group one last time before you shake your head. âNah. Letâs just sit down and talk.â Yeonjun gladly obliges.
You find an empty spot to sit at, looking up at Yeonjun after you situate yourself. He laughs a little, âYou really like sitting on the grass, huh?â
You smile at him and pat the ground next to you. âDonât act like youâre too good to connect with nature.â
âItâs more about getting grass stains on my pants,â Yeonjun says, but sits beside you anyways.
You turn your head to him, and something about seeing your face this close makes it hard for him to keep eye contact. Itâs quiet for a few seconds before you speak up, âSo how come you said yes to the party?â
Something about your question strikes fear inside Yeonjun. Did you find him out? Do you know he likes you? Maybe this is some kind of humiliation ritual youâve set him up for.
âCause you asked,â he answers, voice a little meek as he fidgets with his hands in his lap.
âAnd if it was someone else who asked?â
Yeonjun thinks for a second, but he canât come to an answer. âI donât know. Like who?â
You hum and look into the crowd of people. Your head turns back to him after a couple seconds. âLike Yerim,â you say.
Yeonjun laughs as if the scenario is ridiculous, mostly because it is. Yerim would never even give him the time of day. Sheâs notorious for being cold to anyone who she isnât interested in. Somehow, that seems to attract a bunch of guys to her. Not Yeonjun, though.
âNo chance Iâd go,â he says.
âSo what makes me different?â you ask.
A lot of things. Youâre nice, and youâre smart, and youâre down to earth, and youâre a beacon of warmth. Everything makes you different.
âCause weâre friends,â he says instead. He wants to punch himself after the words leave him. This was his chance to flirt with you, yet he couldnât even muster up the courage to give you a single compliment.
You nod. âIâm just asking cause⊠well, I guess Iâm just surprised you agreed to come.â Your eyes meet his, warm and kind. âThank you for that, by the way.â
Yeonjunâs stomach does flips when you look at him like that. âYouâre welcome.â It goes quiet for a moment, so he continues, âI think this was worth handing over the last of my cash for.â
You burst out laughing. âThey made you pay?! Why didnât you just say youâre here with me?â
âIâll keep that in mind for next time,â he says. He bites his tongue after the words leave him. Who is he to assume there will be a next time? He hopes you donât call him out on it.
âWe should just go somewhere else next time. Thereâs a lot of places downtown that I want to visit,â you suggest, bumping his shoulder with yours. Yeonjun almost explodes.
âWe should do that then,â he agrees. Heâs not sure what suddenly drew you to him as more than some kind of tutor, but he thanks the universe for bestowing him with all this luck.
âThereâs that bakery that opened a couple months ago,â you mention.
Yeonjun lights up. âOh my god, Iâve been wanting to go there too!â
You squeal in excitement and clasp your hands together. âLetâs do that next. Tell me youâre free on Sunday,â you say.
âI donât know, things come up last-minute sometimes. Iâll let you know.â Itâs hard to make plans when heâs basically living a double life. Then again, he did agree to going out with you tonight on a whim. Heâs not very consistent with his rules. He pushes the thought back.
Your eyes land back on the group of people hanging out and laughing. Yeonjun frowns, and he wonders if heâs not entertaining you enough. He doesnât want to keep you from having fun.
âWhy do you keep looking at them?â he asks, curious and soft. He hopes heâs not prying.
âTheyâre just some friends,â you answer.
âOh. Why donât we go say hi, then?â he offers.
You pull your lips into a tight line. âIâd rather not.â
âThatâs alright,â Yeonjun says. You give a small smile in appreciation.
âWhat about you?â you ask. He tilts his head, not knowing what you mean. You continue, âWhoâs in your friend group?â
Yeonjun laughs awkwardly and shrugs. âI mostly hang out with the physics honor society,â he admits.
âThatâs cool. You must have a good bond.â
âWe do,â he says. âHowâd you meet your friends?â
You smile at him, and something in your face tells Yeonjun that itâs a complicated story. You sigh dramatically and lean back a little, âI met them at parties. Does that surprise you?â
Yeonjunâs not sure if thatâs a rhetorical question. âNo. Youâre friendly. I can see why people come to you,â he answers.
âThanks,â you say, voice a little quieter.
âAre you friends with your roommate?â he asks.
âI donât have one. I live in a single dorm.â
Lucky. If Yeonjun had the extra money to spare, heâd be dorming alone too. It would definitely make heading out as Spider-man easier; heâd just be able to change in his room and jump out his window. Assuming no one is around to see, that is.
âThat must be nice,â he says.
You shrug. âItâs alright. What about you? You got a roommate?â
âYeah. WeâreâŠâ Yeonjun struggles to find a word to describe his relationship with Soobin. Theyâre not exactly friends, but theyâre peaceful with each other.
You laugh and finish the sentence for him, âRoommates and nothing more.â Thereâs a lilt to your voice when you say that, and you wiggle your eyebrows like thatâs supposed to suggest something.
âIgnoring your insinuations, yeah, pretty much.â
âIâm just kidding,â you say. Heâll let you make jokes at his expense all you want, it doesnât bother him. Especially not when it means he gets to see you all giggly and happy. He thinks that you look the prettiest like this. Yeonjun would stare at you smiling up at him forever if he could.
The sound of a guy calling your name pulls Yeonjun from his stupor. He blinks at the man standing before the two of you, then looks at you with scrunched brows as if to ask who is that?
His unspoken question is answered the next second. âHey, Kai,â you say. When Yeonjun gets a better look, he realizes that this is one of the dudes in the group you kept looking over at.
âWhoâs this guy?â Kai asks, jutting his chin toward him.
âIâm Yeonjun.â He goes to hold out his hand for Kai to shake, but quickly puts it back down upon realizing that might be weird.
âOh, Yeonjun from calculus. I know you,â he says.
âI didnât know youâre in that class too,â Yeonjun muses.
Kai laughs, âIâm not. Y/n just talks about you.â
Yeonjun nearly melts. You talk about him. This is the best day of his life.
âAnyway,â Kai continues, looking at you again. âI need a couple more people on my beer pong team. You guys down?â
Yeonjun turns to you to gauge your reaction. He canât really tell what you're feeling, not even when you face him as you contemplate your answer. Yeonjun shrugs, as if to tell you that heâs down for whatever you want to do.
âI think Iâm good,â you say.
âAh, alright, you bummer,â Kai jokes, stepping back and sending you a bright smile. âContinue your convo with the calc lord, I insist.â Heâs gone after that, jogging off to the rest of his friends, setting up the game.
âCalc lord?â Yeonjun repeats, amused.
Your laugh is accompanied by a roll of your eyes. âHe means it nicely, I swear.â
âWell, depending on how well he does in this game, I might start calling him beer pong lord,â Yeonjun says. You push at his shoulder as your laughter continues.
Yeonjun already knew he likes you a lot, but as the night goes on, he finds out that youâre even better than he thought. Conversation unfolds easily with you, even if Yeonjunâs answers are dorky and awkward at times. He feels exactly how he thinks you look when you sit in the grass alone: content and peaceful.
Heâs not sure how many minutes or hours have passed when you ask him to walk you back to your dorm. All he knows is that tonight could have stretched into infinity, and that wouldâve been fine. He follows you into the building, then into your room. Heâs not sure why. It just feels right.
âThanks for bringing me back,â you say. Yeonjun smiles and nods. He leans against the wall and stares out the window. You live on the top floor of your building, so the viewâs pretty different from Yeonjunâs second story view. This would be a fun room to swing out of.
âDo you need anything else?â Yeonjun asks. A smile slowly takes over your face, and you cross the room to stand in front of him. You blink up at him, and something about it feels flirty. If he wasnât biting his tongue so hard, his thoughts would have slipped right past his lips: you look cute.
You break the short moment of silence with a giggle. âJust for you to promise me weâll hang out again,â you say, voice barely over a whisper.
Yeonjun has to remind himself to breathe and be normal. âI promise,â he says. He even holds out his pinky to seal the deal. You curl your pinky around his, accepting the playful gesture.
âDid you want to stay?â you ask. You look out the window, then back at him. âIâm okay with sharing my bed.â
That definitely flusters Yeonjun. âOh, no, IâmâI was gonna just walk back to my dorm or something. Or take a bus. I donât know. Thank you, though.â
You laugh. Hopefully not at his sputtering and rambling, but Yeonjun has a feeling that might be why. âAlright, then. Good night, Yeonjun.â
Your soft voice has Yeonjun wanting to backpedal and say heâll stay the night, but he swallows down the words. He smiles at you as he backs away toward your door. âGood night,â he says, standing in your doorway.
âYeonjun,â you call, stopping him before he could leave. He turns, waiting for your words. Heâs surprised to see that you look a little shy. âIâm really happy I asked you to come with me. Tonight was fun.â
Butterflies erupt in Yeonjunâs stomach, and he feels like he could float from how giddy he is. âIâm happy too,â he says.
He steps out into the hall, thoughts lingering on how overwhelmingly good his time with you was. His mind is clouded with rosy memories of his night with you, and he finds himself repressing the urge to twirl around and jump for joy. Heâll probably be skipping all the way home, imagining all the possibilities of what could come next between you.
Itâs Sunday, and Yeonjun knows exactly why youâre calling. He stares at his phone, then back at the man in front of him tangled up in webs. Yeonjun shoots another web over the guyâs mouth.
âSorry, gotta take this,â he says. âStay right here.â He slings himself onto a branch of a tall tree nearby, just to make sure no one can listen in as he accepts your call.
âHey Yeonjun!â Your voice is so cheerful that it makes Yeonjun giggle. He even swings his feet in the air as he sits on the branch.
âHi Y/n,â he greets, hoping his voice isnât too muffled through the mask of his suit.
âDid those last-minute plans end up showing, or are you down to try out that bakery?â you ask. Yeonjun frowns, hating to let you down when you sound so happy.
âIâm really busy today, Iâm sorry,â he says, shoulders sagging from how awful he feels. Heâs got a whole lab procedure to write once heâs done sorting out the crime scenes of today.
âNo worries, maybe we can go after class sometime.â
He frowns. âI wish I could, but I got another class right after ours. Let me check my schedule, I might be able toââ
âAre those sirens?â you interrupt, and Yeonjun looks out to the street. Heâs grown so accustomed to the sound of those things that it didnât even register. âWhere are you?â you ask.
âIâm⊠uh,â Yeonjun stammers, focusing on the cops getting out of the car and making their way towards the criminal.
He tunes into the copsâ conversation. âLooks like Spider-shitâs been here already,â one of them comments in a gruff voice.
The other cop huffs out a laugh. âHeâs always meddling in with petty crimes. What do you think this guy did?â
âJaywalking?â The cops chuckle.
âNot like he can explain with that over his mouth.â He points to the web Yeonjun placed on the man a minute ago.
Yeonjun scowls. Heâs not sure why the cops hold so much scorn for him, but if theyâd like to know, then the petty crime that Spider-shit helped stop was an armed robbery. If these guys were a little better at their jobs, he wouldnât have to meddle in all the time.
âHello?â you ask, and Yeonjun reels his attention back to his conversation with you.
âSorry,â he says. âIâm just coming back from the store. Crazy stuff going on today.â
âOh. Well, stay safe,â you say.
âThanks, I will.â He sees the cops looking around, probably trying to spot him, so he flattens his back against the tree and tries to talk a little quieter. âIâll see you in class, I gotta go.â
âSee you!â
Yeonjun sighs once the call ends. His suit doesnât even have pockets, he just carried his phone with him today in case you contacted him. Stupid? Mildly. Inconvenient? Very. He had one less hand to work with when dealing with todayâs crime culprits. To hear your voice, though? Worth it. He smiles like an idiot as he swings over to the next nearest building, making his way back to his dorm.
Yeonjunâs professor accompanies him to the lab today, overseeing the procedures for the day. The feeling of his professor watching over his shoulder is more nerve-wracking than any day spent fighting crime on the streets. Heâs usually careful with his work in the lab, but heâs extra, extra careful on these days.
He pauses when he retrieves the petri dish of cells. He briefly considers the possibility that heâs crazy and just seeing things, but Yeonjunâs pretty sure that the clump of cells just moved. Like, uncanny movement. He holds his breath.
He stares at the clump, trying to make sense of what heâs seeing. It doesnât jerk around anymore, so maybe it was just his imagination. Fear still creeps up his neck at the idea of the research going wrong. He remembers feeling like he messed up at some point last time he was here, and the realization is making his skin grow clammy.
âWhat is it?â his professor asks, taking a step closer to Yeonjun.
âNothing, I was just thinking,â he quickly responds, keeping his voice calm and steady. He brings the petri dish to the table and does his best to forget what he saw earlier. Yeonjun fears how his professor would react if he told him something unprecedented might be occurring. It happened so quickly that he canât even tell if his mind was just playing tricks on him. Maybe heâs just extra nervous today.
He wipes the sweat off his palms onto his lab coat, bringing the necessary materials to the table to continue the research. His professor reads off the instructions slowly, and Yeonjun pretends he doesnât feel his stomach twisting as he works with the cells.
He tries to calm down as he walks back to his dorm, but thereâs a permanent chill shooting down his spine. Thereâs no way the clump should have moved like thatâit shouldnât show any observable motion at all, not without some kind of electrical stimulation.
Maybe he just jerked the dish too harshly. He was pretty nervous, so it would make sense. He must have been shaking and just didnât realize. That would explain it. That would put Yeonjun at ease.
He can try to convince himself that everythingâs fine, but he canât stop the anxious thrum of his heart. Apparently the fear reads on his face, too, because Soobinâs quick to notice it when Yeonjun enters the dorm.
âAre you okay?â Soobin asks. Yeonjunâs not sure what must have given himself away. He pays more attention to breathing slowly and talking casually.
âIâm good,â he answers. He doesnât expect Soobin to push the subject considering how quiet he always is, but Soobinâs gaze isnât leaving Yeonjun. He must be really concerned.
âDid something happen?â Soobin asks. Yeonjun sinks into his desk chair, covering his face with his hands as he groans. âSorry,â his roommate apologizes, turning away from Yeonjun to look at his laptop instead.
âNo, youâre good, itâs justâŠâ Yeonjun sighs. He might as well get this off his chest. âSome lab thing.â
Soobin nods, not asking any further. Now that Yeonjunâs started though, he doesnât feel like stopping.
âI think I mightâve fucked up,â Yeonjun admits.
âHow?â Soobinâs playing some video game on his laptop as he talks, which actually puts Yeonjun at ease. It feels less pressing, less like an interrogation or a confession and more like a normal conversation.
âThe cells Iâm working with are being weird. I donât know. I donât even know if I saw it right. I just feel crazy now.â Yeonjun rubs his palms against his eyes in frustration and exhaustion, soothing the headache heâs got building up.
Soobin hums. The little shooting sounds and animated voices coming from Soobinâs game fill the room until Soobin speaks again, âDid anyone else see?â
âNo. My professor was there, but he didnât notice.â
Soobin shrugs. âYouâre probably fine then.â
Honestly, Soobinâs nonchalance to the situation eases Yeonjunâs worries a lot. He knows he can get in his head sometimes, especially when it comes to doing everything right, so to hear heâll be fine lifts a weight from his shoulders.
âYeah, probably,â he agrees. He basks in comfortable silence for a minute now that his heart isnât beating so hard.
âBy the way, have you bought more laundry detergent yet?â Soobin asks.
Being Spider-man is tasking, but itâs usually pretty cool. Not everyone gets to zip around the city and restore peace in peopleâs neighborhoods. Not everyone, however, has to worry about getting stabbed by a criminal in the middle of the night.
Yeonjun always stays until the cops arrive. It almost feels essential, just to make sure justice gets served. This time, he canât.
He has to stop himself from groaning too loud when he feels the knife pull out from his side. The man in front of Yeonjun is already stuck to the side of a building, held there with a thick layer of web, so there has to be someone else. He turns around to look at the perpetrator, but the world moves a lot slower than normal.
Yeonjun blinks hard, focusing on breathing and staying conscious. The coward who stabbed him is wearing a ski mask, and heâs running away quickly. Yeonjun canât let him leave. He moves forward and ignores the searing pain that sets his body alight. He straightens out his shaky arm and aims his wrist at the man, but the web that shoots out is just as weak as Yeonjun is.
Frustrated, Yeonjun growls and forces himself to move faster. It burns, heâs never felt any kind of pain like this, but he canât let this man walk free. He canât let this man stab another innocent person. Even with his staggered pace, limping as he tries his best to catch up to the man, he advances quickly.
He breathes hard and holds the air in his lungs as he aims again at the man, brows furrowed with angry determination beneath his mask. He lets out a loud grunt as he shoots his web out, and finally, it lands. The criminal falls as the web captures his ankle, keeping his leg stuck to the ground.
Yeonjun huffs as he traverses the rest of the way toward the man, nothing but fury in his veins as he shoots another web out. This oneâs bigger, covering the manâs back and securing him to the pavement. He picks up his head and looks at Yeonjun with fear in his eyes, but he doesnât care. He canât. All he feels is pain and anger and pain and pain and so much fucking pain.
Yeonjunâs not the vengeful type, but getting stabbed really tests a personâs limits. He shoots more webs over the guy, making sure he wonât be able to move a muscle until the cops arrive.
Yeonjun doesnât waste his breath making snide comments, though he does have a few choice words for him. He takes off the manâs ski mask and resists the urge to deck his face. Heâs got fear etched into his expression, but Yeonjun finds it hard to feel sorry for him. The man starts begging for his life, and Yeonjun scoffs. Of course heâs not going to kill this manâno matter what, he doesnât end peopleâs lives. A cityâs hero shouldnât get to decide who lives and dies.
Yeonjun stumbles away after finding a passerby to call the police. Now that the adrenalineâs gone, Yeonjun feels less mad and more scared. Heâs really bleeding now; his hand comes up soaked when it presses against the wound. What the hell does he do? He canât die like this.
He canât go to the hospital with a stab wound. Thereâs no way for him to make up some alibi that wouldnât just trace Spider-manâs identity back to him. He hisses through gritted teeth as he frantically scans his surroundings, looking for somewhere to go. The only thing thatâs coming to mind is you, and itâs aggravating. He could be dying right now, and all his useless mind can do is think of you. Maybe itâs all the blood loss, and heâs just getting delirious, or maybe itâs a sign. Itâs not like he has many good options right now.
Thereâs not enough time to think about it. He zips through the city and back onto campus as fast as he can, ignoring the splitting pain in his side that shoots up his body every time he moves. Itâs getting harder to breathe, suddenly feeling suffocated by his mask, but he has to hold on. Heâs not far away now.
He remembers the view from your window. He remembers exactly which room to shoot himself up to. He adheres himself to the wall outside your room and pulls his mask off, leaning his forehead onto the cold glass of your window with a sigh of relief. He catches his breath and knocks with a shaky fist. Heâs really sorry for having to wake you up at this hour, but he has a feeling youâll understand.
He doesnât wait long. You're trudging out of bed and making your way toward the window, tired eyes blinking slowly. You look really cute. Everything is spinning around him, but he focuses on you. Youâre still groggy and out of it until you meet Yeonjunâs eyes through the glass. As soon as you see him, itâs like you wake up immediately.
He watches your jaw drop, your frantic hands racing to open your window. His vision is nearly blacking out, and he tries to blink away the dizzy feeling in his head the best he can.
âYeonjun?!â you squeak as he drags himself through your window and into your room. He canât even hold himself up anymore, weak body collapsing to the floor. He groans and leans against the wall, clutching his side. He ignores the sickening feeling of blood dampening his hand, sticky and warm against his palm and between his digits.
You pick him up by the underarms, grunting as you heave him toward your bed. He notices how shaky your arms are, and he tries his best to pick up his own weight, even if it hurts like hell. Heâs burdening you enough as is coming here so late.
âIâm sorry, I didnât know who else to go to,â he says, catching his breath as you guide him to lay on your bed. Heâs half-aware of how bloody and dirty he is, but you seem fully ready to let him stain your sheets. Concern and confusion fill your wide eyes, and Yeonjun can hear every word that you donât say.
Luckily, you save the unnecessary questions for later. âWhat do I do?â you ask. Your hands tremble as they peel the shirt of his suit up, just enough to expose his midriff and the nasty damage to his side. You gasp upon seeing how bad it is, hardly able to stomach it, opting to look into his eyes instead.
He wants to respond to you, if not to answer your question then just to comfort you, but breathing is enough of a chore on its own right now; talking seems almost impossible. Watching you panic about this is shattering him. He makes an effort to move his arm out toward you, just to hold your hand and reassure you, but he doesnât have enough strength.
You lift from the bed and open up a bottle of water, pouring some of the cool liquid over his head. Itâs relieving against his burning skin and keeps him from losing consciousness. It also makes him realize how dehydrated he is.
âPlease sit up,â you beg, placing a hand underneath his head to lift it a bit. He comes up just enough to drink some of the water you feed to him, swallowing down the rest of the bottle. He collapses back against your pillow once heâs finished, feeling much better just from that.
You come back with another bottle of water and pour small bits at a time over the gash in his side. He hisses and tenses up each time it hits his skin, but he knows you have to do this. He doesnât want to make it harder by thrashing around and complaining, so he bites his tongue and keeps his body stiff.
The sheets soak beneath him as you continue emptying the water bottle over the wound. He should help you clean up after this; he doesnât want you dealing with his mess all alone. A few minutes pass before you discard the plastic bottle and grab a t-shirt from your dresser.
You press the bunched up cloth against his injured skin gently, and he holds back any grunts that threaten to slip out. Itâs like you can sense his pain despite his efforts to hide it, because you keep murmuring apologies to him.
âIâm okay, donât be sorry,â he reassures. He doesnât think you believe him, judging by the way lips stay tugged into a frown.
A quietness falls over the room. You pull your t-shirt away from his body and observe the wound, and your fingertips on his torso send electricity throughout his body. It doesnât hurt so much now.
âYouâre not bleeding anymore,â you point out.
He hums. âThatâs good.â Your hand grazes the skin just outside the gash. Thereâs a soothing effect in the way your fingers glide against him, pressure so light that itâs barely there.
âYou need stitches,â you say quietly, like you hate to break the news to him.
Yeonjun doesnât mind. âYou got a needle?â he asks. You fidget with the fabric of Yeonjunâs suit as you sigh and look away.
âI do,â you say. You donât sound too confident, though. He doesnât know what to do to make you feel better.
You grab his hand like itâs second nature to do so, and the action would be romantic if only you didnât have that nervous look on your face. He can practically feel your heart pounding, and heâs dying to let you know that everythingâs okay.
âI trust you,â he breathes out. He makes sure heâs looking you in the eye so you can see how much he means it. Heâs risking everything by trusting you, but heâs not scared. He feels safe even with his life in your hands, his secret identity in your knowledge. If there was something more sacred and dangerous to give up than that, heâs sure heâd be okay lending that to you too.
It feels much more real when you have your needle and thread in hand. Yeonjun canât contain his noises anymore, whimpering in pain when he feels the sharp tip pierce his skin.
âIâm sorry, Iâm sorry,â you say quickly and desperately. âIâll do it fast.â
He hisses as he feels the thread start to tug his wound shut. He throws an arm over his eyes, as if not watching you treat him will stop the piercing feeling. All his muscles are tensed up no matter how much he tries to relax, but he keeps his breathing steady and lets you do your work.
Itâs not too long before youâre tying off the final knot and discarding your needle onto your nightstand. You run your thumb over the stitch, gentle and slow. Yeonjun takes his arm off his face and fixes his gaze on you, watching you scrutinize your work with scrunched brows.
âIt feels fine. You did perfect,â he says, wanting to keep you from judging yourself too harshly. He wants to thank you, but the words feel so awkward building up in his throat.
âI donât have a big enough bandage to put over this,â you say, still fixated on his injury. Yeonjun tries to sit up, but your hand on his shoulder eases him back down. âDonât move too much.â
âY/nâŠâ he starts, but you give him a pointed look, and he decides to shut up and listen. He relaxes against your mattress.
âI wish I had some clothes to change you into,â you mutter after he pulls the shirt of his suit back down. The spandex isnât super comfortable against his fresh stitches, but itâs easy to ignore in comparison to the searing pain of the open wound. Heâll have to throw out this suit; itâs bloodied beyond repair, and he has plenty of back-ups anyway.
âItâs alright,â Yeonjun says. You shuffle on the mattress until youâre laying down beside him. âArenât the sheets wet?â he asks, surprised at how unfazed you seem.
You let out a small laugh, and that frown finally leaves your face. âI donât mind. I wanted to lay down.â
âIâll buy you new sheets,â Yeonjun promises. âAnd a new needle. And Iâll explain everything to you, I swear. Please donâtââ
âYeonjun,â you cut off. He shuts his mouth. âThat stuff doesnât matter. Are you okay now?â
He nods. âIâm okay.â
âThatâs all I care about.â
The room falls into a comfortable silence. Yeonjun stares at the ceiling and wonders how much this is going to change things between you. He has some hope that this will make you two even closer, but a small part of him fears that you wonât want to associate with him anymore. He wouldnât blame you; itâs not like being close to Spider-man isnât a riskless situation. He doesnât regret coming to you tonight, though.
He feels your eyes on him a moment later, and he can only bring himself to look at you for a second before returning his gaze to your ceiling. You must find that funny, because he hears you chuckling beside him.
âYou know, I wasnât expecting this when you said youâd hang out with me again.â Thereâs a softness in your voice that makes Yeonjun feel lightheaded. Not the losing-too-much-blood kind of lightheaded, but the oh-god-I-really-like-her kindâthis oneâs much more preferable and much more welcome than the former.
âIâll have to make it up to you,â he says.
âHow do you plan on doing that?â
He turns his head to face you, and something feels awfully domestic about getting to lay this close to you in your bed. Itâs hard to breathe when youâre smiling at him so eagerly, when thereâs a glint in your eyes that tells Yeonjun youâre having fun. Thereâs an itch all the way down to his bones that begs him to push forward and kiss you already, but he resists.
âIâll find a way,â he whispers.
The room gets quiet again, and Yeonjun supposes he should leave. Itâs not like he can wait for the sun to rise and walk out of your room in his bloodied Spidey-suit glory. Heâs not sure what time it is right now, but he knows that if he doesnât leave soon and get some sleep, heâll be passing out in his classes.
âThanks for fixing me up,â he says, pushing himself off your bed and stretching his limbs. He feels beyond sore, wincing at the pain that shoots through his body. You sit up immediately, scrambling to stop him.
âYouâre leaving? Are you crazy? Stay here!â you insist, trying to drag him back to the bed. He turns his head to you and smiles, and something about the silent plea in your eyes lights up his heart. He keeps his feet on the ground and resists your efforts, even though he wants nothing more than to spend the night with you. Itâs just not smart and not worth the risk.
âI canât,â he says. You pout and stand before him, blinking up at him so prettily that he almost changes his mind. âItâs dangerous.â
âI know. I just wanted to keep you.â That makes Yeonjun giggle.
âSorry. Maybe next time.â
You swat his chest. âDonât let there be a next time. You almost scared me to death.â
âIâll make sure to tell the next knife-bearer you said that,â Yeonjun jokes. It gets the laugh that he was hoping for out of you.
âWellâŠâ you start, eyes darting between his own. He barely has time to register it when you press a kiss against his lips, your movement so hesitant and shy. Itâs soft. Itâs sweet. Itâs over before he knows it. He blinks at you dumblyâitâs all he can do to not pass out like a dork in front of you. Your smile is just as soft and sweet as your kiss was. âJust stay out of trouble,â you finish, patting his chest gently.
âIâll try.â
âI guess Iâll see you in class, then,â you say.
âYeah,â he agrees. He should go now. He should make use of his feet and back away, but he stays planted in his spot. You sway girlishly in front of him, hands clasped behind your back.
âGood night,â you whisper. Yeonjun canât help itâhe pulls your face in so he can feel your lips on his again, more properly this time. Theyâre pillowy and dreamy, and Yeonjun could just melt into you. He doesnât linger longer than he has to, backing up just enough to see your face. You mirror the glee that he feels in his own expression.
âGood night,â he echoes. He backs away and grabs his mask, slipping it back on. He opens your window back up and slings himself to the nearest tree. Each time Yeonjun looks over his shoulder, he sees you leaning at your window smiling right back at him. His heart does a little flip. On second thought, maybe getting stabbed is kind of cool.
Despite how well last night went, Yeonjun wakes up with a heavy weight on his shoulders. Every ounce of confidence that his interaction with you last night might have given him is completely gone the moment he remembers it, and sheds away at itself further when he notices you skipped class. A dreadful thought creeps up his spine: are you avoiding him?
Maybe you woke up regretting it all. Maybe you realized how ridiculous and stupid getting involved with Spider-man is, and youâre just protecting yourself before you can be burdened further. The classroom feels hot and suffocating, and fresh air sounds really nice right now, but Yeonjun stays put in his seat. He doesnât want to make a scene and start freaking everyone out. To the best of his ability, he pushes his fears down and saves his panic for laterâpreferably for after he talks to you and gets some answers.
He doesnât even open his notebook in his last class of the day. He shows up just for attendance purposes, then zones out staring at his desk for the rest of the hour. Time passes far too slowly; Yeonjunâs itching for the lecture to end so he can talk to you already. Heâs practically running out of class as soon as itâs dismissed, but finds himself slowing down the moment heâs outside the building.
Heâs pretty sure he knows where to find you. The bigger issue is figuring out what the hell heâs going to say. Is there any way to start this conversation without being awkward? Hey, thanks for saving my life last night. Also I am indeed that hero or whatever taking care of criminals in the city, hope you donât mind! He feels so lame.
Itâs wishful thinking to hope that you wonât care about what happened last nightâwell, except for the kissing part, but thatâs probably not as important right now. Heâll push aside that conversation until the more important one happens.
He wants to run away the moment he sees your figure in the distance, sitting exactly where he thought youâd be. His tongue suddenly feels like lead, too heavy and useless to try talking to you. He gathers his breath and walks across the field, not letting himself back out now. You deserve to be given a little peace of mind. Heâs sure today must have been confusing for you, that clarity hit you like a train this morning the same way it did to him.
You look over your shoulder when he reaches you, staring up at him and squinting your eyes from the sun. âHowâd I know youâd come find me?â you ask, half-amused.
Yeonjun gives you a short laugh, unsure of himself as he sits on the grass beside you. It feels a little like heâs invading your space. Heâs seen you sitting alone on this field as if it was all yours so many times.
âI thought I should thank you again,â he says, a little shy. He feels like he owes you a lot for last night. The whole city probably owes you a lot for saving him, honestly.
You look at him with a small smile, leaning your head on your bent knees. âMhm. Shouldnât I be thanking you, Spider-man?â Thereâs a teasing quality to your voice, and it makes Yeonjun laugh nervously. He should probably address that.
âI really hope you wonât tell anybody.â
âI wonât. Iâm still finding it hard to believe anyway,â you say. Your sentences are all laced with a tiredness and exhaustion that Yeonjun canât help but to feel at fault for. âItâs just weird to know it now.â
Yeonjun hums. He can sympathize with you on thatâit must be really bewildering to know your classmate is the one swinging around town shooting webs at criminals. He just hopes you can forgive him for dragging you into this.
âSpider-manâs a little less cool now, huh?â he jokes, keeping his voice quiet even though no oneâs around.
Your smile is full and genuine, and Yeonjunâs heart skips a beat. âI always thought he was a little lame,â you answer. Yeonjunâs ego bruises at that. You continue, âBut I think heâs kind of interesting now.â
He can only hope that you donât see the blush that takes over his face. He looks away to hide it, but he feels your gaze on him. âI donât know if Iâm that interesting,â he says, acting all humble. Itâs clearly bait, and he hopes youâll catch it.
âI can be the judge of that. Let me get to know you more,â you offer. Yeonjun bites his cheek to stop himself from grinning at this massive win.
âWell, we still have that bakery to go to,â Yeonjun mentions, and judging by the way your eyes gain a new sparkle, you seem to like the idea.
âYou donât have any more classes today, do you?â You already look ready to go.
Yeonjun doesnât bother hiding his excitement anymore, letting his smile take over his face. âI donât.â Youâre standing up the next second, and Yeonjunâs quick to follow.
The bakery is a cute, cozy little place near some other restaurants downtown. Thereâs no seating inside due to the lack of space, but thatâs made up for by the giant row of sweet selections to choose from. Yeonjunâs stomach rumbles in anticipation as his eyes jump around to look at each confection.
After buying your treats, you lead Yeonjun to a nearby bench. You both open your pastry boxes and bite down on the baked goods eagerly. You hum in satisfaction, nodding at the taste. âWow, we should go here again,â you say, going in for another bite.
Yeonjun chose a sweet cheese bread, which he completely devours within a couple minutes. You donât eat as fast as him, but he doesnât mind waiting for you. He makes conversation in the meantime: âHow come you skipped class today?â
You laugh a little around your mouthful of food, swallowing before you answer, âI barely slept. There was no way I couldâve focused if I went.â
Yeonjun hums in understanding. âI barely slept too,â he says.
âBut you still went,â you add. âI guess youâre better than me.â
Oh god, he hopes you didnât take it that way. âNot at all!â he rushes to say.
You smile and pat his shoulder. âI know. Youâre just a star student, thatâs all.â
Is that a compliment? Yeonjun blushes anyway. âI like to do well,â he says.
âI mean, considering everything youâre balancing, yeah, you are doing pretty well.â
Yeonjun laughs awkwardly in response, barely able to take your praise. Heâs pretty sure youâre alluding to what you found out about him yesterday. âThanks,â he mutters, all humble.
âDo you wanna talk about last night?â you ask, finishing your last bite.
âSure,â Yeonjun answers, feeling a smidge of nervousness returning to him. Itâs quiet for a few seconds. âDid you have any questions?â he asks. He feels more bashful than anything else, but itâs better than coming off as braggadocious.
You hum in thought, pouting your lips while you conjure up some ideas. âWas that your first kiss?â
Heâs completely taken aback by your questionâand a little embarrassed, quite franklyâand he scrambles to spit out a response. Youâre stifling your laughter before he can even get his defense out. âNo! I had my first kiss in, like, high school!â
âIâm just teasing,â you admit. âYouâre a good kisser.â The compliment goes to Yeonjunâs head, playing in a loop while he floats on cloud nine. You liked kissing him. He should do it again and again, just to keep you happy. And for more selfish reasons, too.
Your voice breaks through his thoughts when you speak again, âDo you feel better today? Are you healing alright?â The joking tone leaves your voice, replaced with genuinity and care.
âI feel fine,â he answers. He pulls up his shirt to show you the wound, all stitched up and starting to heal over.
You wince. âGood thing I finished my food already. That killed my appetite.â Yeonjun laughs at your grimace and releases his shirt, falling back into place. âYou should really put a bandage over that,â you suggest.
âI donât have any.â
You shake your head in disbelief, though your amusement reads on your face. âYou should be more prepared.â
Your concern is cute to Yeonjun. âI know,â he says.
âSo who stabbed you?â you ask.
He shrugs. âNo clue. Heâs probably in a cell now.â
âDid it hurt?â you ask, though the answer is obvious.
âLike hell,â he says.
âHowâd it even happen?â Honestly, Yeonjunâs not too sure about that either. He can usually sense imminent danger before it comes, but maybe he was too focused on the crimes heâd already been dealing with.
âHe came up behind me while I was handling another criminal,â he answers.
You hum, getting off the bench and tossing your trash in a bin nearby. You start walking off then, and Yeonjun follows mindlessly. âMust be tough being Spider-man,â you say.
âCareful how loud you say that.â Yeonjun tenses as someone walks past the two of you, praying they were out of earshot when you said that. He sighs in relief when he sees the person had headphones in.
âRight, sorry. Thereâs just so much I wanna know now.â You turn a corner, taking a path leading back to campus.
Your curiosity excites Yeonjun, and heâs ready to answer whatever question you come up with. Some of his stories have serious entertainment value to them.
âAsk me, then,â he invites. You twist your head to smile up at him for a second.
âHowâd you get like this? Were you just born this way?â
Yeonjun laughs at the idea. He swings his head around to make sure no oneâs around when he answers, âNo, a radioactive spider bit me.â
âWhen did that happen?â you ask. Yeonjun reminisces the first few weeks after the bite, thinking back to those initial feelings of fear and dread when he realized something had happened to him.
âIn high school,â he says. It was super bewildering back then to change so drastically, yet be forced to act so normal. Itâs much easier nowâheâs had years to adjustâbut he was a teenager when it first happened. Thatâs a lot for a kid to take on. He had to act like he was the same Choi Yeonjun his classmates had grown up with, and not some mutated superhuman dealing with the stresses of his new identity. Of course, he did that whole Spider-man thing to himself, but it was the right thing to do. He doesnât regret it.
âDoes anyone else know?â
âMy uncle did, but heâs gone, so now itâs just you.â He looks at you, lips twitching upward.
âIâm sorry to hear that,â you apologize, voice growing soft. He realizes that youâre in front of your dorm building now, and he supposes this is where he should leave. His eyes dart between yours, like heâs waiting for you to tell him to go. To ask him to stay.
âAre you doing anything today?â he asks. Maybe he sounds desperate. He doesnât really care.
âCatching up on some work,â you say.
âIâll give you my calculus notes.â
You smile. âThat would be nice.â
Yeonjun didnât even take notes in calculus today. He doesnât know what heâs saying.
âCan I stay?â Heâs teeming with hope and bravery today. You open the door to your building and signal him inside, and he has to hold back the victorious giggle that almost escapes him as he trails behind you.
The rest of the day passes in a blur of questions and answers. Yeonjunâs never talked so openly about being Spider-man before, and a part of it feels healing. You study hard while he rambles about stories of the little things heâs done throughout the years. Some are funny and make you cackle, and some draw your attention away from your textbook so you can look at him in shock. Itâs impossible for Yeonjun to wipe the grin off his faceânot when he bids you good night, not when he walks back to his dorm, not even when lays in bed to sleep. His heart never lets up on that jittery rush it has for you.
A quintessential part of the college experience, Yeonjunâs come to find out, is trying out all the different ramen brands to see which one is the best. Heâs a fan of whichever one heâs chowing down on right now, and a 5-pack of this barely puts a dent in his bank account. Seems like a winner.
He glances over at his dormâs door when it opens, curious to see that Soobin brought someone over. Yeonjun isnât bothered by that, though; if this guy is anything like Soobin, heâs not worried about getting annoyed.
âYou can remember to buy ramen but not detergent?â Soobin asks, chuckling. Yeonjun chooses to read that as a joke instead of a passive aggressive comment.
âUgh, dude, I keep forgetting, Iâm sorry,â he apologizes. Yeonjun points at Soobinâs friend and continues, âThis your friend?â
âYeah, Iâm Beomgyu,â the friend introduces. Something about him looks a little familiar.
âNice to meet you,â Yeonjun greets with a nod.
Soobin grabs some clothes from his closet then turns to the door. âIâm gonna go change and then we can head out,â he says to Beomgyu, then heads off to the bathroom.
When the door shuts, Yeonjun returns his attention to his ramen and ignores Beomgyuâs presence as best as he can. That doesnât last too long, though, cause soon enough, Beomgyuâs breaking the silence: âAre you still hanging out with Y/n?â
Yeonjun turns in his seat to face Beomgyu. Heâs not sure how Beomgyu would know that, but Yeonjun entertains the question nevertheless. âYeah. You know her?â he asks.
âSheâs my friend,â he says. âKind of.â
Yeonjun already feels something weird in the air. Heâs waiting for the turn that this conversation is bound to take. He finally pieces together why this guy looks so familiar; heâs one of the boys at the party in the group that you kept looking over at. Now Yeonjunâs really curious.
âWhy do you ask?â The question comes out a little hesitantly.
âIâm telling you this man-to-man, I think you might be getting played,â Beomgyu says.
Yeonjunâs immediate reaction is only confusion. How would you be playing him? Youâve been nothing but sincere with your feelingsâor, thatâs what it seemed like, at least. Now Yeonjunâs doubting himself. A part of him doesnât believe it and doesnât want to indulge in this conversation any further, but heâd start spiraling whether or not Beomgyu explains himself now. Worry swirls in Yeonjunâs stomach.
âWhy?â he asks despite himself.
âThis is just what Iâve heard, but apparently she had a thing with Kai, and he started talking to another girl, so she wanted to get back at him. I donât know, though.â
Kai. That boy who came up to you at the party. Yeonjun remembers him.
He doesnât want to show how much those words affect him, but shit. Hearing that hurts. His body feels weightless, like heâd be falling over if he wasnât sitting at his desk. He nods as he exhales slowly, keeping his heart from going haywire.
âHuh,â is all he says. Soobin comes back the next second, and Beomgyu heads out with him after that, and the world keeps spinning on, but Yeonjun feels trapped in that moment. He waits to wake up in a sweat, hoping this is all some nightmare thatâs going to end, but the wake never comes. Heâs forced to deal with his whirling thoughts instead.
None of this can be true. It wouldnât make sense. You kissed Yeonjun. You said you were interested in him. If this was all a lie, how will Yeonjun ever trust anyone again? When he came to you bleeding out, you saved his life. When you found out his secret identity, you kept it safe. Yeonjun miscalculated something that nightâthere is something more sacred and dangerous to trust you with than those things: his heart.
He doesnât even want to finish his ramen anymore. His fingers brush against the wound thatâs healing pretty well thanks to you, and a thought crosses his mind. The night that you kissed him was the night you found out he was Spider-man. An especially sickening question starts to haunt him. Did you only start liking him because of that?
Yeonjun feels played. Heâs always known that he was a fool, so he doesnât know why heâs so surprised, but really? Beer pong lord?
Five minutes is hardly enough to process the information Beomgyu dumped onto Yeonjun, but thatâs all he gets, because now his alarm is going off and telling him to go over to the lab. He drops his head to his desk with a groan. Itâs like an anchorâs been tied to his heart, sinking further and further until it makes him his stomach churn.
The fresh air feels good in Yeonjunâs lungs as he walks over to the lab. A permanent pout is etched onto his lips, unable to stop thinking about you. Good things. Bad things. Everything. Each memory hurts now.
He probably looks like some depressed college kid, walking around with his hood up and head down. He should be less pathetic, pick himself up and get himself together. Itâs not like you two were really anything anyway. A kiss doesn't always mean something to everyone. Maybe itâs his fault for assuming that for you, it did.
Itâs not just that, though. Yeah, kissing you made Yeonjun feel alive in a way that only swinging through the city could compare to, but thereâs so much more to you than that. Itâs the way you talked to him, the way you cared for him, the way you looked at him. How the hell do you fake that kind of connection? Hurt splits him at the seams like heâs being torn in two, but he keeps walking like nothingâs wrong.
âYeonjun!â He recognizes that voice immediately. He pulls his eyes off the sidewalk and catches sight of you walking up to him. He almost forgot that he walks past your little field on the way to his lab.
It feels like heâs the one keeping a secret, palms clamming up as you stand in front of him. He stops in his tracks to allow you the conversation. âHey,â he says.
âWhat are you up to?â you ask. He fidgets with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. Should he just act normal? Should he let you get away with using him? When he thinks about it like that, it puts a sour taste in his mouth.
âIâm headed to the lab. Got some stuff to do, and itâs time sensitive, soâŠâ he trails off awkwardly, looking off into the distance instead of at you.
âOh, okay,â you say, sounding a little dejected. Yeonjun shouldnât be feeling bad for you right now, but he canât help it. It makes his chest clench to hear the joy leave your voice. âMaybe we can hang out after? Just to study or something,â you offer.
Yeonjun sighs, âMaybe.â
Youâre quiet for a second as you assess him. âAre you okay?â Concern fills your voice, and when he brings his vision back to you, he can see it in your eyes too.
âIâll talk to you about it later,â he says.
You frown, taking in his flat expression. You must gain some insight from that, because then youâre asking, âDid I do something?â
He wants to hold his head, feeling defeated and frustrated and sad and a million other different things. Heâs not sure how to label it. Heâs never felt emotions this complex before, probably because heâs never liked anyone this much before.
âOh god, did I?â you repeat, more fear in your voice at Yeonjunâs lack of a response. It strikes him and deflates his will to be dismissive about it, not wanting you to sit here worrying for the rest of the day. Curse his soft heart.
âJust come with me,â Yeonjun says, continuing on the path to his lab building. You follow beside him, taking long strides to match his quick pace. He notices you struggling to keep up, so he slows down, even though it might make him a few minutes late.
âIâm sorry,â you apologize. He can feel you looking at him, but he keeps his eyes ahead.
âYou donât even know what youâre apologizing for,â he mumbles.
âTell me then,â you plead. The thought of having to talk about this with you makes him feel sick. He doesnât know if he can even choke up the words without getting nauseous.
âLet me clock into my lab first.â The rest of the walk is silent; you keep quiet even as you enter the room with him, watching him take off his sweatshirt and put on his lab coat. Youâre quiet even as he goes through the study procedure, not even lingering near him to see what heâs doing. He feels a little cruel for it, wondering if heâs just torturing you by forcing you to stand silently and worry about what he must be upset at you for.
He steals a glance at you. Youâre leaning against the wall by the door, so many steps away, keeping so much distance. He bites his lip and looks away, figuring itâs time to start the conversation.
âI want to talk to you, but I donât want you to lie to me,â Yeonjun says, breaking the long stretch of silence. He walks toward you, stopping before he gets too close.
âI wonât. Iâm not gonna hide anything from you.â Itâs funny you say that.
âDo you like Kai?â His question catches you off guard, your frown leaving your face.
âNo,â you answer.
âDonât lie.â
âIâm not.â
âOkay. So why did Beomgyu tell me you used me to get back at him?â
He watches you stiffen at the question. âHow do you know Beomgyu?â you ask.
âPlease just answer me,â Yeonjun says. He doesnât want to run around in circles, he just wants to hear the truth from you.
âI donât like Kai anymore.â Something about that sentence hits like a stab to the gut. Yeonjun would know the feeling.
He tsks and shakes his head, ready to walk away and end the conversation, but you continue, âPlease let me say the whole story.â Yeonjun sighs and meets your eyes. He decides to hear you out, only because a part of him is dying for you to make this right.
âGo ahead,â he says.
âI invited you to the party because youâre my friend, and I think youâre cute, but also for really petty, stupid revenge. It was so dumb and Iâm so sorry, I feel so fucking bad for that now,â you explain. Yeonjun thinks back to how excited he was when you asked him. He remembers the rush of butterflies, the nervousness that pooled in his stomach, the adrenaline through his veins when he realized he finally had your attention.
You continue, âBut I swear on my life, Yeonjun, the second we went outside at that party, I realized how unfair it was. I wanted to make Kai jealous, but when we were standing out there, I couldnât do it. Youâre a good person, and I felt fucking awful, and I didnât go through with anything, and Iâm glad I didnât. You gave me one of the best nights of my life that day. I mean that. Seriously.â
Thereâs sincerity in your eyes, so Yeonjun knows youâre not lying. The ache in his chest is dull now, but still there. He canât believe you planned to use him as some pawn to get back at Kai.
âWhyâd I have to hear it from someone else? Why couldnât you tell me yourself?â he asks. Itâs pathetic how his voice carries more heartbreak than anger.
âCause I didnât want you to misunderstand and leave!â you explain, desperate. âYeonjun, please. I donât care about Kai anymore. I havenât even talked to him since the party.â
Yeonjun wishes he could feel comforted by your words, but all he feels is hurt. He has this terrible thing where he canât stop asking questions that will only batter him worse. âSo you didnât really like me?â
You take a step closer to him, placing both hands over your heart. Yeonjunâs not blind; he can see the fear in your eyes, the worry that he might walk away. He doesnât have it in him to relieve your stress right now.
âI always liked you. I like you more every day,â you answer. Thereâs honesty in your words, which Yeonjun appreciates. It doesnât quite melt away his insecurities, though.
Yeonjun canât bear looking at you any longer, dropping his gaze to the floor and stepping back. Heâs ready to leave, thinking he needs the night to himself to stare at the ceiling and contemplate this whole situation.
You stop him before he can get too far. Your hand hooks onto the sleeve of his lab coat, shaking as you cling to him. Itâs so pitiful that it ruins the monstrous image Yeonjunâs trying to fit you into in his mind. Against his better judgment, his eyes meet yours again.
Heâs about to speakâmaybe to console you, to get some of that sadness out of your eyesâbut the sound of glass breaking behind him makes him turn with wide eyes, searching for the damage. Heâll be the one stuck replacing any broken equipment; he can only pray that it wasnât a more expensive piece.
His eyes flit across the room, but he finds nothing. Is he seriously losing his mind? Every time heâs in this lab, thereâs something new giving him a mini heart attack. He brushes this off as some kind of paranoia. He considers talking to his professor about taking a break from the lab, just until he can restore his sanity.
âLetâs just head out of here,â Yeonjun says, unable to rid himself of the chill down his spine.
âDo you still like me?â you ask, unable to move on from the conversation. You stay planted in your spot as Yeonjun takes off his lab gear. He groans internally at your questionâof course he still likes you. Do you think his feelings are so malleable? His adoration for you feels like an immovable boulder. He canât even stay mad at you for as long as he wanted to, though he tries not to let you win too easily.
He sighs out your name instead of answering. He waits for you at the door as he throws his sweatshirt back on, and you trudge forward with a pout. Once his sweatshirt is slipped over his head, he catches sight of something behind you, heart stopping entirely.
âWhat the hellâ?!â he emits, eyes growing wide as the cell clump heâd been working with expands out past its storage spot, spilling out onto the floor. The broken glass earlier mustâve been from the petri dishâshit, he shouldâve checked. Itâs discolored now, so dark itâs nearly black, and growing more rapidly than it should be able to.
You spin on your feet to see what Yeonjunâs looking at, yelping when you see the growth. You back up quickly and bump into Yeonjunâs chest. âWhatâs happening?â you ask, turning your head back to look up at him.
âI donât know,â he answers. He has to think fast, because it doesnât look like the cell replication is stopping any time soonâif anything, it looks like itâs growing exponentially. The clump is a goo-like substance, slowly spilling out further and further onto the floor, looking something like tar as it expands out. âWeâll have to trigger rapid apoptosis,â he says.
âHow do we do that?â you ask. Yeonjunâs not sure either, so he doesnât bother to answer. He opens one of the cabinets and pulls out all the different liquid chemicals he can find. One of these is bound to do something.
You hold yourself and watch him carefully, still looking shy and desperate and nervous from your argument. Yeonjunâs not sure why you seem to be more bothered by him not reassuring you that he likes you than by the clump that grows behind you. Your attention remains on him the whole time.
âAre you mad at me?â you ask.
âNo,â he answers sharply and quickly. He has bigger issues to be worried about than staying mad at you.
âI promise I wasnât lying. I wonât talk to Kai ever again.â
âWhy are we having this conversation right now?!â Yeonjun asks, frustrated.
âBecause itâs important to me that you know!â
He ignores you in favor of unscrewing the lid to one of the acids, hoping it could digest the cells. When he pours it onto the clump, a loud hiss rings through the room and smoke comes up from the mass. It doesnât seem to dissolve the cells, though.
He emits an exasperated groan, opening the lid to another chemical substance, and you rush to do the same. He canât stop to think about how dangerous this is, too focused on controlling the problem before it gets irreparable. You and Yeonjun pour chemicals onto it at the same time, and it seems to react. The tar-like blob thickens now, erecting itself up from the floor languidly.
You and Yeonjun back up, watching with fearful eyes as it stands. It moves like itâs alive, like itâs a living organism. Itâs eerily silent for a room as you two stare at the mass in shock. Then, rapidly, it comes charging at you, attaching itself to your cardigan as you shriek. Yeonjun acts fast, running to you and grabbing your waist, adhering his feet to the floor to keep you from getting dragged any more. You shed your cardigan quickly before tugging it back from the blob. It tears from how harsh you pull it, but you donât seem to care, chucking it to the opposite side of the room.
This is an unfortunate time to see you in a tight-fitting tank top. Your chest heaves from the panic of being grabbed by the organism, rising and falling as you start to steady your breath. You look over at him, and he finds himself blushing and removing his gaze from you in embarrassment. God, now heâs the one struggling to focus on the bigger problem.
Yeonjun directs his wrist at the blob, shooting a web at it to keep it from charging at you again. The web sends the mass flying back until it collides with the wall. Though it canât remove itself from the confines of the web, it still slowly grows, and it will be able to expand enough to attack again soon. Still, this should buy you two some more time.
âYou should leave,â Yeonjun says, coming to you and cupping your face. His eyes beg you to go, strung up on the possibility of you getting hurt.
âI wonât,â you say, grabbing onto his wrists.
âPlease. Youâre too important.â His hand strokes through your hair like youâre something precious.
You take his hand and kiss it. âYou are too. I wonât leave.â
He sighs. He knows heâs not winning this, thereâs too much determination in your words. Before he removes his focus from you, he thinks he should tell you one last thing. âJust so you know, I like you too.â
Youâre barely able to hold back your smile, but Yeonjun canât stay and watch your reaction. The mass continues to grow over the confines of the web, and he has to find a way to control it before it overcomes the binds. He opens the binder that holds the descriptions of all the lab materials, hoping he can find something useful in there. His eyes flit across the words, scanning for the chemicals that will be his saving grace.
He stops when he reads the description for nitric acid. The words digest and dissolve kick his body to life, hope stirring inside of him. âCome here with the nitric acid!â he shouts over his shoulder.
âWhich one is that?â you ask hurriedly, scanning through the different bottles of chemicals.
âItâs in a brown translucent bottle. Quick!â Before he can panic further, youâre racing to his side with a bottle of the acid. Yeonjun quickly pours it over the mass, watching it shrivel when the liquid hits its surface. A weight lifts off Yeonjunâs shoulders when he realizes he finally found something that works. The bottle doesnât hold nearly enough, though, because Yeonjun empties it out before he can melt the organism completely.
He turns to you expectantly, and youâre rushing back to the counter where all the chemical substances are held. Youâre turning each to read the labels, growing more aggravated as you fail to find another container of nitric acid. You curse as you swing the cabinet doors open, checking if thereâs any stored away in there.
You pull out a bottle from the cabinet, reading it quickly. âWould sulfuric acid work?â you ask, looking at Yeonjun like you need him to say yes.
âIt would react with the nitric acid,â he answers. You groan.
âYou think I know any of this stuff?!â You go back to searching through the cabinet.
âYes! Youâre, like, the smartest girl I know!â Yeonjun exclaims, equally as frustrated.
âYou must not know a lot of girls then,â you huff. You finally pull out a bottle that seems to match, running over to Yeonjun. He takes it from your hands and pours the liquid over what remains of the clump, watching it dissolve until all thatâs left is a murky puddle on the floor. He plops the nitric acid onto a table, finally letting himself take a full breath. He tastes the chemicals swirling in the air, but he canât bring himself to care about any toxins filling his lungs. Heâs worn out, crouching down in exhaustion with a groan.
When he picks his head up from between his arms, he searches for you. Youâre bent over one of the tables, head tucked between your arms as half your body rests over the surface. You must be just as drained as him. He stretches his body out as he stands back up, then approaches you at the opposite side of the table. He rests his elbows onto the tabletop, leaning forward to be closer to you.
âYou get feisty when youâre working under pressure,â Yeonjun teases, breathless laugh escaping him. You lift your head to look at him, and he can see how you hold back your amusement.
âI could say the same about you,â you respond. You seem winded, still breathing hard as you push yourself off the table and pick up your cardigan from the floor. You hold up your cardigan and examine the damage. Itâs stained and ripped and looks disgusting. You pout. âThis was my favorite oneâŠâ
âDonât worry, youâre pretty good at stitching things back up,â Yeonjun says, coming up to you and taking the cardigan from your hands to tie it around your waist. You look up at him, something fond shining in your eyes.
âI guess I am,â you say, tugging on Yeonjunâs sweatshirt to pull him closer to you. You wear a dopey smile as you stare at him, hands resting on his shoulders, and Yeonjun really hopes that you do what he knows youâre both thinking about right now.
You donât leave him waiting long; your hand comes to his jaw to bring his face to yours, and the next second, Yeonjunâs having the best kiss of his life. It feels like a reward after the shitshow that todayâs been. For it to come to this, heâd relive it a dozen more times.
âWait,â Yeonjun says, pulling back. âAre we dating now?â
âHavenât we been dating?â You look at him like heâs a fool, and it endears Yeonjun endlessly.
âOh, Iâve already told, like, three people that youâre my boyfriend.â There might be real hearts in Yeonjunâs eyes right now.
âGood,â he says, coming in for another quick kiss. âIâm all yours.â His words are uttered against your lips, since he canât seem to pull himself away from you.
You gladly accept his kisses, and he has to keep himself from getting too drunk off your taste. He has to remember heâs still in a lab with a bunch of chemicals filling the airâitâs probably a good idea to get out. Even though he doesnât want to, Yeonjun steps back and looks around at the mess throughout the room. Given everything that happened, itâs not awful. A mop would take care of ninety percent of the problem.
âWe should clean this up,â he sighs.
âYeah,â you agree. Neither of you make a move. You start laughing after a few seconds, and Yeonjun returns his attention to you with a cheeky grin.
âNo, letâs just leave,â he suggests. Heâs exhausted. Heâll explain everything to his professor tomorrow, he canât take any more of this today.
âShould we go back to my place then?â you ask. Yeonjun does a very poor job of hiding his excitement. He wants more than anything to hold you to his chest and zip across campus to get to your dorm, but alas, he does the smart thing instead. A ten minute walk has never felt more like ten hours in his life, and seeing your dorm building finally come into view has his heart racing in anticipation.
Yeonjunâs all over you the minute your door closes behind him. He doesnât let your lips disconnect for a secondânot to talk, not to breathe, because nothingâs more important than tasting your lips on his.
Your back falls to your mattress, and Yeonjunâs mind briefly wanders to the last time you two were here. Having you sprawled out beneath him is quite different than you patching him up above him. In a way, that moment felt like the start of something bigger between you. The initial spark came long before it, but that night is what caused fire to catch. He feeds the flame now, fingers untying the cardigan at your waist and throwing it to the floor. Your shirtâs the next thing to go, and he only pulls away long enough to shed the cloth off of you.
His mouth on yours is ravenous and unwilling to waste any more time. He feels up your stomach, cherishing the warm flesh with eager fingers. He trails his hands up to your chest, feeling your breasts over your bra. You gasp when he squeezes experimentally, and it encourages him to continue, movements growing hungry.
You break away from the kiss, panting for air while Yeonjun latches onto your jaw. Heâs insatiable, sucking your skin and placing kitten licks over the mark after. He hovers his face over yours, biting back his grin when he sees how hazy your eyes have become.
You catch his face in your hand, cupping his jaw and thumbing his cheek. The action makes his heart soar, and he leans into your warm touch. Your smile turns from soft to wicked when you push your thumb between his lips, and he engulfs the digit without a fight.
âI like you,â you say as he sucks your thumb, blinking up at him adoringly like heâs not doing some lewd act right now. He swirls his tongue around you before popping it out of his mouth, kissing your fingertip then taking your hand in his own.
âI like you too.â His free hand goes behind your back to search for your bra clasp, fumbling with it clumsily until he gets it to disconnect. You pull the material off, and Yeonjunâs cock twitches in his pants when he takes in the sight of you. A part of him feels wrong for doing this, like this is too dirty, but a larger part of him canât wait to indulge in you. Heâll just make sure to take you out for dinner after.
Yeonjun throws his sweatshirt and shirt to the floor, pride swirling inside him when he sees the way you ogle at his skin. You lay your hand over his chest, trailing your fingers over the expanse teasingly. He takes your wrist and drags your hand away.
âYou donât deserve to touch me. Iâm still upset about Kai,â he says. Itâs a lie, but heâs in a playful mood. Your hand makes its way back to his chest despite that, so he grabs it and brings it to the bed, shooting a web over your wrist so you canât move it. He giggles. The whole web-slinging thing comes with some perks.
âOh, come on,â you sulk as he does the same to your other wrist. He leans back for a moment, looking down at you all proud. A few different sights flash through his mind, endless possibilities of how he could make the most of your hands being restrained. Maybe he should punish you for ever liking Kai in the first place, keep you on the edge until youâre chanting apologies into the air. He could also just indulge in your body greedily, taste every inch of you without your hands pulling him away. The ache in his pants grows at the thought.
You sigh in satisfaction when his hand meets your clothed core. Your hips grind against his hand, and he allows you to use him to find your pleasure. Your hands close into fists as Yeonjun lets you ride his open palm, still fighting against your restraints.
âHow much do you like me?â Yeonjun asks. His free hand holds your waist, fingers brushing against your skin gently.
âSo much,â you answer, never abandoning your rhythm. âYouâre so smart, and handsome, and funny, andânnghâand good to meâŠâ Yeonjunâs hand travels from your waist to your chest in reward, thumb rolling over one of your nipples.
âYeah, I am good to you. I stay with you even though youâre mean to me.â
You shake your head at his statement. âIâm not mean to you,â you say.
He laughs at how you try to control yourself, how serious your tone gets. Your hips slow, so he takes measures into his own hands and moves his palm against your cunt instead. If he presses down hard enough, he can feel how wet you are even through your pants.
âYou are,â he says. âYou use me to get other men.â He knows thatâs not true now, but a part of him is still a little bruised by the idea. He figures that airing out his insecurities like this might help him, and it makes him feel less vulnerable.
âNo! Thatâs not true!â Yeonjun ignores you and takes off your pants, letting them join the other articles of clothing on your floor. He short circuits when he sees the wet patch on your panties. A sense of shame must fill you then, because your legs clamp shut to block his view.
âHey, be nice,â he says, opening your legs back up. He holds you open as he presses his knee to your folds, and he can feel your arousal even through the fabric of his sweatpants. Heâs squealing internally, overjoyed to have you soaking for him, but he keeps his calm on the outside.
Your hands push against the webs again, shaking the mattress a little. You pout at him. âI want to touch you,â you whine.
âSorry about that,â he says. He matches your pout as his hands smooth down your legs, lazily exploring your flesh. He grabs your hips and positions them up a little so that youâre pressing into his thigh. He hears the moan that gets caught in your throat as he drags your cunt against him, holding back a satisfied smirk.
âShould I tell you what I like about you?â Yeonjun asks, something silky and smooth in his voice. You nod, rolling your hips over his thigh. âSay pleaseeeee,â he prompts.
âPlease,â you echo. He giggles.
âAgain.â Heâs having fun.
âPlease, Yeonjun,â you beg, sweet voice dripping with need.
He releases your hips so he can pull off your panties, tugging you back onto him once you kick the cloth off your ankles. He can really feel how wet you are now, and it makes a knot form in his stomach. He wants you more than anything.
âI like how pretty you are,â he starts, leaning over you to press kisses against your neck. âAnd I like how cool you are.â His mouth travels a little lower, sucking at your collarbone. âAnd I like how I can talk to you for hours and never get bored.â His lips smother your chest, just above your tits, familiarizing himself with every inch of your skin. Your hips buck against him when he presses his thigh more firmly between your legs. âAnd I like how wet you get,â he laughs.
His mouth finds your breasts then, tongue swirling teasingly around one of your buds. Your nipples perk up, begging for his attention. He drags his tongue over to your other mound, sucking at the swell of flesh, moaning against you. The taste of your skin in his mouth makes him feel high.
You whine, hips rolling more fervently against him, chasing your approaching high. Yeonjun busies himself with delivering kitten licks to your nipples, watching the way they glisten with his saliva after he runs his tongue across them a few times. He peels himself off of you when your rhythm gets unsteady, not wanting you to cum yet. Thereâs a look of betrayal on your face as he disconnects from you, not touching you at all anymore.
âYeonjun,â you moan, wrapping your legs around his waist and pulling him in. âI need to cum.â Your needy cunt grinds against the tent in his boxers, hungrily trying to get yourself off. He lets you have your fun for a minute, enjoying the feel of your warm, wet slit coating his clothed cock, before holding your hips still and keeping you from moving. That doesnât stop you from digging your heels into his back, pushing him harder against you.
He removes your legs from him, holding you open as he plunges two fingers into your cunt. Your heat takes him in so nicely, the slide of his digits inside you made so easy from how slick your cunt is. You arch your back, moaning out as he curls his fingers inside you.
âTight girl, gotta stretch you out,â he says, scissoring his digits to prepare you. Your arousal pools out of you, dripping onto the mattress as Yeonjun fucks you on his fingers. âNeed to get you ready for me.â
âMhm, need your dick,â you say. You look so helpless like this, laying back and letting Yeonjun fuck his fingers into you however he wants. He increases his speed just because he can, knowing you canât pry his hand away, grinning when you emit a surprised gasp. Your walls start tightening around his fingers, a warning of your orgasm, and Yeonjun pulls his hand away before you can get there.
Youâre whining his name again, thighs clamping shut to relieve the pressure. He shushes you as he tugs his boxers out of the way, stroking his cock as he watches the way you tremble. Poor thing.
âYou want me to fuck you?â he asks. Your legs spread open immediately in invitation. He watches as a glob of arousal drips out from your core.
âYes,â you breathe out. He pumps his shaft a few more times before bringing it to your folds, letting your wetness coat his tip. âPut it in,â you beg, jerking your hips up. He ignores your plea, bringing the head of his cock to your clit to tap on it a few times. The stimulation sends a buzz through you, and Yeonjun coos at you sweetly.
âWant you to feel so good,â he says, aligning his tip to your hole and starts pushing in. You throw your head back and groan, and he gives your neck a wet kiss. âWanna be the best youâve had.â He sinks in slowly, letting your walls adjust to him inch by inch. You feel like heaven around him, and his fingers dig into your hips to keep himself from losing his mind. He wants to meld himself into you.
He grinds his pelvis against you when he bottoms out, steadying his breaths so he doesnât lose himself too quickly. His moans are deep and airy, while yours are whiny and pathetic. He trails a hand up your body until heâs cupping your face, bringing your attention to him. You look dazed, and he wants to watch you fall apart. He needs to see your perfect face scrunched up with pleasure, eyes glassy and mouth open, going stupid from how fucked out you are.
He presses a light kiss against your lips, then leans his face into the crook of your neck. He finally starts pulling back, slamming back into you with a whimper. Your cunt takes him so readily despite how tight you are, your arousal making him glide in and out of you so easily.
âGonna be perfect for you,â Yeonjun promises. âBe a good boyfriend. Fuck you every day. Keep you happy.â He lifts himself up to watch your mouth fall open as he thrusts into you. He presses against your stomach to feel himself inside you, moaning whorishly when he does. It makes him fuck you harder, desperation coursing through his system.
You can barely speak from how far gone you are, stuttering out curses and whimpers of his name. He brings his thumb to your clit, rubbing at the swollen bud to get you clenching around him. He groans at how tight you get, sucking him in like your body was meant to take him.
âNeed you to cum now,â Yeonjun says, feeling his high looming over. âGotta feel you milking my cock, let me see it.â
âKiss me,â you say breathlessly, mouth hanging open as you wait for him to take it. He obliges eagerly, shoving his tongue into your mouth with a needy whine. He licks into you as if this will coax your orgasm out, and it does. Your walls clamp around him, and heâs barely able to move from how tight you get. He circles your clit diligently, only letting up when your body jolts in overstimulation.
He pulls out soon after, only having to stroke himself a few times before heâs spilling his seed onto your stomach. He groans as he milks himself for every last drop, hand shaking as he releases the last of it. You look hot painted with his cum; he bites his lip and squeezes your thighs, needing more and more of you.
âYouâre so gorgeous,â he says, making you turn your head away shyly.
âThanks. You are too.â His stomach flips, feeling proud that he earned your praise. He lowers himself to your torso, lapping at the milky strands of his cum. He cleans you nicely, swallowing down his own release until your stomachâs coated in only his saliva. He brings himself to your slit to lap at it languidly, loving the little whines you emit at the sensation.
âDid so good for me, thank you,â he murmurs into your cunt. He pushes his tongue into your entrance, slowly fucking the muscle inside you. You sigh and roll your hips against his face, relaxed and melting into the feeling.
âY-youâre good too,â you praise. He licks his way up to your clit, taking it into his mouth and letting his tongue roll over the bud. He likes to hear that heâs being good for you, it makes him feel like heâs worthy of you. He thrives off your happiness, so he feels content as he pleases you with his mouth.
He never wants to let you go. He wants you in his arms forever, he wants to stay in this room and live the rest of his life with just you by his side. This much is enough for him. He glides his hands down your thighs, letting his fingers lightly drag along your skin. He opens his mouth a little more to taste more of you, to kiss your folds more hungrily. He presses the tip of his tongue to your bud, focusing the pressure right against it until he hears you mewl.
âRight there!â you gasp out, pressing yourself further into Yeonjunâs face. He hooks his arms around your thighs to keep you in place, making sure you donât jolt away when your orgasm creeps up on you. He flicks his tongue over your clit repeatedly, feeling your thighs shake in his grasp. He doesnât stop until youâre releasing on his face, coating his mouth and chin with your essence.
He detaches himself after a minute, licking his lips and letting go of your legs. He sits up and smiles at you, taking in how pretty you look. He holds your jaw so he can kiss you, and he canât help but to giggle into the kiss. This is so surreal. He would have fainted if he knew one month ago that this would be happening to him.
âHi,â you say when he finally pulls his face from yours. This feels like a dream.
âHi,â he echoes, butterflies fluttering in his stomach. He cherishes the smile you give him.
âSo when does this dissolve?â you ask, tugging at the webs holding your arms in place. Yeonjun scratches his neck bashfully. That's enough of an answer for you. âYeonjunâŠâ you sigh, body deflating.
âLess than two hours!â he rushes to say.
âTwo hours?!â
âItâs not that bad. I think we can pass the time,â he says, failing to hold back his smile.
Your eyes flit down to his stirring cock. âI guess I have nothing better to do,â you give in. Yeonjun sees right through your nonchalant act, but he lets you get away with it. He has better things to busy himself with than arguing about that.
You bring Yeonjun to the market after learning about the laundry detergent debacle. You place the item in your basket, shaking your head at him as you do. âI canât believe your roommate had to tell me to get you to buy this.â
Yeonjun raises his hands in defense. âI get busy sometimes,â he says.
âWith coming to my dorm every other night?â you ask with a raised brow, walking into the next aisle.
Yeonjun drops a candy bar into the basket alongside the detergent. âNo, with lab stuff, and class stuff, and Spidey stuff,â he corrects. He picks up a bottle of your favorite drink as he passes by it on the shelf. âAnd with girlfriend stuff,â he adds sweetly.
âRight,â you say unconvincingly, smiling as you nod your head.
Yeonjun grabs a pair of sunglasses off a rack, placing them on his face and turning to you with a grin. âHow cool are these?â he asks, pointing at himself.
You laugh and lift the sunglasses up so they rest on his head. âSo cool,â you answer. You tilt your head to check the price on them. âYou should totally spend the last of your money on them.â
He pulls the glasses off his face to check the price tag, eyebrows raising in reaction. He puts them back on the rack. He canât get rid of the smile on his face as he watches you shop, endeared and swooned by every little thing you do. Itâs small moments like these that make him feel like the luckiest guy on earth.
âWe should get bandages. I canât believe you donât have any,â you say, looking for where the item would be in the store.
âThereâs a lot of things I donât have. Iâm operating on a limited budget,â he explains. Itâs not like he can tackle a job on top of everything else he does. Heâs grown accustomed to his ways of living, accepting that heâs become the male college student stereotype.
âIâm glad I stepped into your life then,â you say, throwing a box of bandages into your basket. âIâm actually scared youâd die without me.â
Yeonjun canât help but to laugh at that. âI would die without you,â he agrees. He follows you as you continue walking around the store, aimlessly searching for anything you might need. You stop when you feel your phone buzz, pulling out your phone upon receiving a notification, checking it curiously. He reads the message over your shoulder; itâs an alert from your local news station about some rescue mission for a bunch of dogs that ran loose from their shelter just now. You turn to him with a knowing smile.
âThatâs your cue, Spider-man.â
notes: god i loved writing this so muchâŠ. i hope u like spideyjjun just as much as i do<3 i would love to hear ur thoughts if u have anyyy!!! tysm for reading hehe
synopsis: the guy of your dreams finally asks you on a date. the problem? you've barely had your first kissâand he looks like he definitely knows what he's doing. panicking, you ask the campus resident playboy, choi yeonjun, for lessons. strictly practical. no feelings. no strings. except yeonjun isn't as experienced as everyone thinks.
â§ pairing: playboy student!choi yeonjun x student!reader
â§ genre/warnings: explicit sexual content (smut with plot, 18+ mdni), rom-com, college au, sexual exploration, coming of age, fwb, teaching trope, sexual themes & sexting, clumsy intimacy, love triangle-ish, smoking, alcohol/party settings, in chapter warnings to apply
â§ status: coming soon!
â§ playlist | series masterlist | main masterlist
soobin texts you like youâre not about to be exposed by your own mouth.
back next month.
wanna go for dinner?
iâve missed you.
and you have missed him. you have. youâve missed him in the quiet, private ways you miss someone you were never allowed to have. youâve missed him in the way you can only miss a boy who stayed just out of reachâgirlfriend in highschool, distance in college, switzerland, timing.
the problem is you werenât missing him like this.
not like the last few months. not like the midnight calls, the flirtation and sexting that kept escalating until it stopped being flirting and started being⊠language you should not be allowed to speak if youâre this inexperienced.
because you lied to soobin.
you lied about your body count. you lied about what youâve done. you lied about what you can doâlike confidence is something you can type into existence and then become later.
and now later has arrived.
now soobin will be back in the same country as you, and suddenly all those filthy little messages donât feel like jokes anymore. they feel like expectations. like a script you wrote for yourself and canât remember the lines to.
you try to practise in your mirror. you try to research. you try to breathe. you keep coming back to the same thought, spiralling tighter every timeâwhat happens when he kisses me and i donât know how to kiss him back?
your friends know the truth. theyâve always known. theyâre also enjoying your suffering like itâs a netflix series with weekly episodes. beomgyu especially. beomgyu is thriving. beomgyu will die happy if you die embarrassed.
you go to a party because they drag you there, and you last long enough to laugh like youâre fine. then you step outside for air. and you see him.
choi yeonjunâcampus rumour, cigarette between his fingers, laughing like heâs never once had to second-guess himself. like confidence comes naturally. like it doesnât take effort. like it isnât an act.
people say heâs done everything. people say heâs been with everyone. people say it like itâs fact.
you donât know him. you donât even like him. you just look at him and think, with the most humiliating clarityâhe would know what to do.
and thatâs how your plan begins.
yeonjun notices you on the second day.
not because youâre subtleâbecause youâre not. but because youâre staring at him like youâre trying to memorise his face for a test. because you keep appearing in places you have no reason to be.
lecture hall. cafeteria. outside while he smokes. near the menâs bathroomâ
heâs not stupid. heâs also not flattered. at first.
then it keeps happening, and something shifts from annoyance to curiosity to the slow, crawling suspicion that you might actually be insane.
his friends would laugh if they knew. theyâd say, oi, playboy, youâve got a stalker. theyâd say it like heâs supposed to enjoy it.
they donât know what itâs like to have a reputation that walks ahead of you into every room. they donât know what itâs like to be treated like a rumour instead of a person. they donât know what itâs like to have girls look at you like youâre experienced, effortless, easyâlike youâve already done everything.
yeonjun lets them believe it, because correcting people is exhausting. because itâs easier to act like you belong in the story theyâve written for you than admit you donât know how to play the role.
and youâwho keep staring at him like heâs an answerâare starting to make him nervous in a way that feels stupid.
so by the fifth day, he decides heâs done.Â
he catches you half-hidden behind a lamppost like itâs doing anything. walks right up. tilts his head. âare you,â he says, slow and flat, âfollowing me?â
you blink at him. innocent. sweaty. guilty. âwhat? no.â
he waits. the silence stretches.
you crack, messy and breathless, words tripping over each other until the truth spills out in the most ridiculous shapeâyouâve got a date. youâve said things you canât back up. youâve lied your way into expectations you canât meet.
and you want him to help you.
yeonjun stares at you for a long second. because this is insane. because youâre looking at him like heâs confident enough to save you. because the worst part isâ
âhe says yes before he can stop himself.
âfine,â he hears himself say. like itâs casual. like itâs nothing. like he isnât about to ruin his life. then he adds, too quickly, âbut you canât tell anyone.â
you nod so fast you nearly snap your neck.
you agree to rules. boundaries. three lessons. no feelings. no strings. no emotions.
and yeonjun smiles like heâs got this. like heâs done this a hundred times. like he isnât going to go home and search how to kiss someone with shaking hands. like he isnât thinking, with absolute terrorâwhat the hell have i just agreed to?
â§ next | series masterlist | main masterlist
a/n: hii my loves! i contemplated a lot whether to post this or not but this has been circling my head for days and i couldn't stop thinking about it and i have already mapped out the entire storyline and i can't stop writing it!! its also a new genre i'm exploring and definitely walking into territory i am not too familiar with but i love love yeonjun and his new album and i just need to get this story off my chest. my other fics will continue as normal and this is most likely to be posted as soon as i finish terms & conditions and unfortunately yours!! so no worries that it will affect my current works. much love all and cannot wait to share the first chapter with you <3
taglist: drop me an ask or comment below if you'd like to be added
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â¶ soo i've been really wanting to do this for a while already but i didn't really have the time to do it⊠soo here you have all the fics that I deeply loved & that i sometimes still read again đ«¶đŒthose fics are really amazing & thanks a lot to the writers for those masterpieces! đ
sweet | ksj @oddinary4bts
‷ Drabble of idol Jin coming back from the military and trying to sort out his situationship with the girl he left behind when he went into the military
idol!au, a bit of angst, fluff and smut
meraki | jjk @taegularities
‷ Jungkook finds you irritating; far too energetic and insistent. But his perception of you changes bit by bit, minute by minute, when he's persuaded into spending an entire night with you at places he doesn't know.
e2l, grumpy!jk (+ photographer!jk) x sunshine!reader; fluff, smut
motherfuckin' train wreck | jjk @lovieku
‷ when renowned fuckboy jeon jeongguk catches feelings, he loses his mind. only when it comes to you, though.
fwb au
new guy | knj @kithtaehyung
‷ all you want to do is have a successful meeting after experiencing dwindling attendance, but the new guy is completing disrupting things... or is he?
smut ; university au ; enemies to lovers?
into it | pjm @xpeachesncream
‷ helping your bestfriend out with his research project happens to come with more than what you bargained for.Â
grad school au, idiots to lovers au, strangers to lovers au, angst, smut
bands | jjk @xpeachesncream
‷ jeon jungkook has it all: the looks, the fame, the money, the women. being considered the sexiest man in the industry, he finds no complaints about the way his life is going nor does he find any reason to apologize for the way he approaches it. he is a force to be reckoned with - until he meets you.Â
strip club/nightlife au, post grad au, fluff, angst, smut
lowkey | jjk @xpeachesncream
‷ in order to pass organic chemistry and pay off your car damages from an accident, all you have to do is help the nerd, jeon jungkook, with a few things: pretend to be his girlfriend and teach him the ways of dating.
college au, fake dating au, friends to lovers au | fluff, angst, smut
saudade | kth @chateautae
‷ a demanding idol lifestyle was something taehyung and yourself were all too familiar with. it wasnât so hard when considering your unconditional love for one another, but lately, taehyung wasnât the same anymore; and you decide itâs time to find out why.
angst, smut, fluff (the holy trinity), idol!au, established relationship!au
100 km/hour | pjm @chateautae
‷ what exactly happens when you and your friends have to pile into one car for the ride home after an insane halloween party, and you find yourself sitting in park jiminâs lap? especially when heâs dressed as an angel, and youâre in the sluttiest devil costume ever?
‷ where you sort of hooked up with one of the schoolâs biggest fuckboys but end up leaving him hanging and never contacting him becauseâŠwellâŠwhy not? somehow the universe brought you two together and now youâre left with dealing with him because he apparently caught feelings for you.
smut, pwp
before we shatter | jjk @caramelkoo
‷ dating an idol is fun, they said. having a family with one is fun, they said. Until you're falling face forward because of your reality. A reality where Jungkook dreams of a future and a reality where your own future is collapsed.
established relationship, idol!jungkook
warm nighs & clear lines | jjk @awrkive
‷ there haven't been a lot of people who have come into your life that became important to you â and you didnât expect jeon jungkook to be one if it â not at all. but what started as a casual relationship turned into more than that, and now you find yourself deeply in love with him â and happily so.
or; your first "i love you" comes out completely wrong.
SMUT, fluff
all your fault | jhs @minisugakoobies
‷ Itâs all Hobiâs fault!
smut, drabble, PWP, established relationship, non-Idol!AU
muscle memory | knj @taegularities
‷ the weather outside might be trying to chill you to your bones, but watching Namjoon's seething hot presence work out is enough to melt every little piece of you - and he sees the longing in your eyes all too soon.
establish relationship; some fluff, mostly smut
magic stick | jjk @badbtssmut
‷ Jungkook is kinda sad because he has never been with a girl who could take him balls deep because of his size, reader doesn't believe him and she wants to see, but he tells her that he can't atm bc he's not hard. She is wearing this kinda halter top style with no bra so she looses the top and shows her tits to him and let's him touch them. After he's hard he shows her his dick and she says she's willing to try to take it all and she rides him into the sunset
Wild & Free đČ - [completed two-shot] BF2L, coworkers. permission to dance era. revolves around the infamous "Yoongi Marry Me" catchphrase. Jimin thinks he is cupid. đâĄâ
>> Young & Dumb (Prequel) â
Terms & Conditions đČ - [completed series] office romance set during yoongiâs alternative military service. slowburn and suddenly they fuck a lot. glimpse into what it could be like as an idol's gf. Jungkook is into MC's army bestie. đâĄâ
Love & Lullabies â - [ongoing series] DILF Yoongi. MC is Namjoon's BFF who enlists her help to be the nanny of yoongi's son with lee sung kyung. mental health themes. yoongi is down baddd and attempts to rizz up MC many times before she gives in. đâĄâ
Honey & Citrus - [ongoing series] strangers to lovers. coffee shop meet-cute. for all my corporate girlies. basically revolves around a caffeine-induced war of who pays first. valentine's day first date. đ
Watermelon & Suga - [completed one-shot] Boat Sex! Inspired by the d-day tour in phuket vlog, yoongi meets, you the island girl of his dreams. Did I mention Boat sex? Filthiest thing on this masterlist, but also surprisingly sweet. đâĄ
Pigments & Playlists â - [completed two-shot] strangers to coworkers to lovers. MC is their new makeup noona. đâĄ
ì ëŹ (Moonlight) - [completed one-shot] Producer!reader. Kind of a song fic. Sex on the beach and I don't mean the drink. đâĄ
NON-IDOL AUs
Friends & Fools â - [completed one-shot] BFF idiots to lovers. set all in the night of their HS reunion. everyone knows they're perfect for each other, except them apparently. đâż
A Christmas Encore - [completed two-shot] estranged friends almost lovers to lovers. hobi as MC's fuck buddy. super hallmark movie inspired. small snow covered town + a concert to save the cultural center! đâĄâ
That Trickey Hickey - [completed one-shot] F2L. yoongi gets drunk and gives MC a hickey. honestly that's it. oh yeah, cameo from the maknaes who are literal clowns. đâżă·
Magic & Mayhem - [ongoing series] strangers to lovers. MC buys Yoongi from a sex shop. Yoongi is a labubu/Sonny Angel (kind of). I promise this is as chaotic as it sounds! đâĄă·â
Hot & Bothered đČ - [ongoing series] Horny MC meets sexually reserved Yoongi through a dating app. đâĄ
CROSSOVER
Nerd & Nerdier đČ - [completed series] love triangle situation with MC + jeon wonwoo of SVT. roommates who both decide they want you. there's a rap battle. plus lots of cute dates. self-indulgent to the max. if you love both these dudes, you just found your fic and you're welcome. đâĄă·â
hey love,, iâm absolutely obsessed e the fic all over you by zibermuda do you have any recs similar to that??
so sorry for leaving this unanswered for so long!! off the top of my head, here are a few popular!oc & shy/nerdy!jk fics iâve read (and love!)
lemon sherbet by @extravaguk (angst, smut, fluff) slight frenemies to lovers! oc was popular back in highschool and jk wasnât. he confessed to her and she rejected him, but they meet again a few years later when heâs piercing her nipple :DD
lunchbox lovers by @jiminrings <33 (fluff, angst) oc is a jock, we love her and so does jk :)) jk is a shy guy & oc leaves lunchboxes on his desk anonymously cause sheâs also pretty shy too skjals and it just spirals from there!
chasing butterflies by @ddaengtae (fluff, smut) jock!oc (volleyball player) and weeb!jk. MUTAL PINING!! :â))
cancelled by @zibermuda (smut) sci-blogger!jk and fashion-blogger!oc this is soOoooO HAWTT!
hopefully these will satisfy to what youâre looking for my love!đ
if anyone has any other recs for this trope, feel free to comment!
glimpse: you're associated to yoongi through six different connections, and you're just hoping that he loves you back in atleast one.
alternatively, you believe in the six degrees of separation, and yoongi's just kind of sick of always coincidentally seeing you.
[ fluff, angst, mutual pining except yoongi's avoidant so He's An Ass At First, initial unrequited love, jealousy, not really a soulmate au (but looks like it w the way yoongi crashes out every time u ignore him (except u are jus reciprocating what he'd normally do!!), reverse cards aka the turns have tabled yippeeee, redemption ]
notes: now #that it think abt it, this is a relatively light fic amongst ALLLLL my yoongis (both tumblr n patreon)!! enjoy :P
as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!!
Yoongi doesnât believe in connections.
He neither believes the power and the convenience of the supposed connections he has, not because he worries about the ethical parameters of pulling some strings (he literally could not care less if someone talks shit behind his back), but because Yoongiâs never found any real use for them.
His dad says that he has a friend who works as the head of security in the newly-opened outlet mall in the city, and unless Yoongiâs planning on shoplifting a pair of authentic, luxury cargo shorts (thatâs in either a hideous color or has an outrageous factory defect like the zipper being stitched on backwards), heâs not really scrambling at the offer, if it even sounds like one to his dad, with his hands outstretched for the car keys.
Yoongi has also heard from his mom that she has a second cousin whoâs a dean in this one university thatâs hard to get into. Nevermind the fact that the department sheâs heading has something to do with numeracy (and the other glaring fact that Yoongi has to whip out a calculator to make sure he knows what heâs doing with the numbers on the microwave) â his aversion towards even considering the offer of being directly enrolled stems from the fact that the said uni is literally hard to get into because the buildingâs two hundred years old and he doesnât want to give himself the stress of having to talk to the walls.
Itâs not to say exactly that Yoongiâs turning his back on the entirety of connections his family has and the opportunities they could offer. Heâs not saying never to the chance of being able to enter a flagship frozen yogurt store three hours away from his house, thirty minutes early (he doesnât even know for what reason) or shaking his head at the prospect of one day renting a comically large bounce house and rock wall bundle for a party free of charge.
Itâs just that Yoongi has no will to exercise his connections, nor believe in them in the first place, because thereâs not one thatâs ever really benefitted him yet.
Itâs to your understanding, however, that Yoongiâs your momâs best friendâs son, and that fact alone makes you believe in the sheer beauty and providence of having connections.
The first time your momâs best friendâs son, Min Yoongi, properly interacts with youâ outside of seeing him in passing during compulsory family photos in reunions (where you had to take over for your mom multiple times in taking pictures because she just does not seem to ever grasp the concept of taking a photo without her thumb on the way) and video calls between your moms (where the two of you had no choice but to take over because they just kept making the mistake of calling the wrong people) â is at your familyâs dinner table.
Yoongi thinks your familyâs a hoot to be with, really, even with the way your dadâs dry sense of humor is rubbing off on his own and the way the wallpaper in their bathroom just keeps changing with every Pinterest board your mom could conjure.Â
He doesnât mind that much; he doesnât mind the closeness nor the rapidly growing amounts of teasing, because although Yoongiâs always known that you and him basically grew up together without being around each other that much at all, he figures that itâs harmless.
Itâs harmless for the both of you to know far too much about each other without having even been left together alone in a room, because he figures that itâs just what moms do. Itâs harmless for your moms to keep telling the other random details about their lives and their children specifically, because while you know that Yoongi had once mistyped 40 seconds for 4 minutes in the microwave and almost gave their kitchen a very, very bad day, you donât know if his eyelashes are short or how many piercings he has on each ear.
Now that Yoongiâs here though, right next to you at your familyâs dinner table, because your parents are engaged in a heated debate about whether carrots are better eaten in their original or in their miniature form and youâre the only children here for this, you realize three things.
First, Yoongiâs lashes are long and dense that point downwards, and second, is that he has two piercings on each ear.
Third, is that you thank every auspicious thread in your life because Yoongi happens to be your momâs best friendâs son, and youâve never seen someone so charming and enigmatic up close.Â
 "You could feed them to the dog so it's not as obvious," he leans down to whisper, eyes pointedly lingering at the way youâve basically scooted all of your vegetables to the side.
"We don't have a dog," you mutter defeatedly, voice fading to a chuckle when you look up and realize that heâs too close; like heâs too familiar with you to the point that he doesnât see any issue in having his face just inches away from you in attempt to be discreet, when really, it would take an earthquake and a half to even pull your parents out of their debate.
âYou don't?" he tilts his head, scrunching his nose in confusion. "Why's there a collar and a leash in your coat rack then?"
"Because I thought buying them would pressure my parents into letting me adopt one.â
Yoongi chuckles softly, the amused smile that settles on his face making you blink once, twice, the weight of his lazy, comfortable expression almost distracting you from the way his hand moves to your plate.
"Here. That's my share," he nudges his head to your vegetables, chewing and swallowing the noticeable dent he had made on your plate without even flinching. âRest is yours."
"But it tastes horrible," you frown. "You only want it because you're from a granola household," you murmur, the slip of your tongue making you purse your lips immediately. "No offense. Love your mom, by the way."
"What kind of example would I be if I don't force you to eat your veggies?" Yoongi rolls his eyes, resting his cheek on his palm with an almost bored (and slightly entertained, you hope) look to his face.
You should be grateful that he even considered helping you out, but it just doesnât hit you yet. You donât want to count your blessings immediately because Yoongi doesnât look like heâs going to stop being gratuitous anytime soon.
Almost as if you donât see him leaving your thread of connections within the future.
"Fine. Just one more spoonful,â he yields, mistaking the wistful, dazed, and slightly unhinged expression behind your eyes (you wonder if Yoongi knows about the sidewalk rule, or what side of the bed does he sleep on, and whether or not heâs the type to jump to your family plan or the other way around) for genuine distraught over him not helping you.
You canât help but feel a little too fulfilled; a little too prideful of being connected to Yoongi, whoâd clear the mountain of vegetables on your plate when your momâs in a crazy, nutty health kick, even if youâve never gotten the opportunity growing up to ask him what flavor of scented erasers he liked nibbling on or when his first kiss was.
You like Yoongi.
You like him and his ginger hair and the undercut thatâs working really well for him, even more than your older sisterâs best friendâs cousin who sells imported factory overruns of your favorite jeans (read: the Japanese selvedge denim that youâd never tell anyone where you got it from when they react to your pictures).
You like him and his habit of chewing on nothing when your conversation dwindles and youâre still racking your brain for tangents to continue it, even more than your uncleâs ex-wifeâs (who always had you as her favorite) new husbandâs food truck that sells your favorite baked potatoes.
You know you would like Yoongi, whether or not heâs your momâs best friendâs son â itâs that simple.
Itâs not so simple, however, when he lingers by the edge of the living room when he hears the telltale patter of your parents ramping up to say their goodbyes, right after decimating each otherâs Letterboxd reviews. You didnât want him to go just yet; you wanted to hear more of his stupid opinions and see his stupidly handsome face even longer.
"You know, it wouldn't be so bad if you just bring home a dog and then ask for permission later," he hums. âIt's not like they can do anything about it."
"And have me and the dog brought back to the shelter?"
"I can convince my mom to have your mom go easy on you," Yoongi shrugs.
"But she's a cat person and mom's justâ she's a person, alright. She doesn't even want to have a pet fish."
"Who do you think made her a cat person?" Yoongi snorts, slightly struggling to put his coat on which makes you have the knee-jerk reaction of scrambling to help him, the sincerity (and almost rabid eagerness) of your hands making his eyes widen momentarily. âI brought in a stray, then she made me sleep out in the porch for a night, but now? She literally cradles Miso to sleep."
It should just be another tidbit about Yoongi that youâre supposed to forget.
It should just be another seemingly insignificant nugget of information that would awe you, but never endear you to the point that you find yourself thinking about him and your red thread (one that you keep tugging on telepathically because although you exchanged numbers and socials, heâs not doing⊠anything) â something that wouldnât keep you up at night.
Yoongi and his horrible, godforsaken influence donât leave you at all.
Yoongi, your momâs best friendâs son, and the stupid, detailed facts you know about him linger in your system like a red thread stands out on the pink linen runner in your familyâs dining table.
You text Yoongi, late in the night, just once, with a picture of a comically large, skrunkly, and funky-looking dog on your lap, whom you could finally call your own.
her nameâs veggie :]
Yoongi sends just one text back in the morning, attached with a picture of Miso sprawled out, sleeping on his shoulder with remnants of cardboard in her mouth.Â
yippee!!!!!!!
( ⥠)Â
Yoongiâs your ear seeding guyâs roommate.Â
Jin whoâs not really a licensed auriculotherapist, but whoâs your age and Just Happens to be fond of sticking little tiny beads on his ears and his clients (three including you and himself), doesnât have an actual shop he could call his own yet.
To have one, it would mean he actually needs to get a certification for what heâs doing instead of practicing his self-taught degree from Reddit University, with his esteemed professors being his grandparents, his parents on a good day (when theyâre not being undermined by their parents), and some person aliased Jay M. Rings on Etsy who not only sells him his equipment, but keeps answering his questions.
More importantly, Jin (whom you only knew of because he was sat next to you in the library and flicked your conch when he heard your stomach audibly grumble) would need to rent out a place that would bleed him dry, assuming nobody would pay the ideal 400% upcharge to your existing payment so he could keep the spot.
It doesnât bother you at all that Jin keeps the ear beads next to the orange juice in his fridge. It doesnât make your brows draw knowing that he forgets to ask you atleast 75% of the time what you were in for before he starts working. It doesnât even perplex you when you hear Jin hum for two solid minutes right after you ask him what could possibly happen to you if said beads were to fall right into your ear canal.
The only singular time that Jin, your uncertified but family-trained auriculotherapist, actually makes you perk up into attention is when he leaves you momentarily in the living room of his shared dorm, muttering how you might see his roommate but youâve got nothing to worry about because âhe could be an ass sometimes, but heâs polite to strangersâ â is that heâs never really told you that he lives with Yoongi.
Jin, bless his heart, who had no reason to ever assume that you know Yoongi in the first place, was right to leave you momentarily in the presence of his friend whoâs just as confused to see you sitting on his stool in the counter.
âWeâve got to stop meeting like this,â he mutters, the supposed playful thrum of his voice sounding far too real towards the end.
Yoongiâs not even dressed for class or work by the looks of it. Instead, he looks every bit the other paying half of the dorm youâre in. From his ginger hair thatâs toned down and a little longer than the last time you saw him (read: itâs much longer judging by his roots, but you canât even think about that right now), all the way to how his sleep shirt features the silhouette of an actor for a superhero thatâs long been cancelled before, you have no doubt that itâs your momâs best friendâs son staring you down.
âYoongi,â you smile, voice a little breathless despite having done nothing at all prior to seeing him in the flesh. âWhy are you here?â you ask, the lump in your throat making it impossibly discreet that youâve long connected the dots even before you could utter a response to him.
âI live here,â he snorts, running a hand through his hair in an attempt to make himself look a little more presentable (but not that he cares or anything). âAre you here⊠for me?â
You have no doubt that itâs your ear seeding guyâs roommate whoâs making your brain fuzzy.
âI want to say so,â you chuckle, nibbling on your bottom lip. âBut I donât think you do ear seeding like your roommate does.â
âYou know that Jin only has three patients right? Me, himself, and I donât know who the third one is, but he told me that itâs his first client ever.â
âThat would be me.â
âOh,â Yoongi deadpans, narrowing his eyes. âYou know heâs not certified, right?â
âI know,â you nod, trailing off as you look down at the floor to try and not to look like an utter fool in front of Yoongi who looks way too lax about your unexpected meeting. âAnd he doesnât even charge that much for someone who canât legally do this, but am I crazy?â you murmur, fading into a whisper as Yoongi stalks towards you on the counter, working around your figure as he fishes for the orange juice. âAm I crazy for feeling that Jin⊠makes it work?â
âIâve been in denial about it for as long as I could, if that helps,â Yoongi whispers back, surprisingly not weirded out with the way your voice had dropped as he gives you your own glass wordlessly. âI pay him to do it, but I donât want it to get into his head that he might actually be onto something.â
âRight? I think itâs a-âŠâ
âWhat are we whispering about?âÂ
Jin comes out of nowhere and you practically jump out of your skin at his interruption, your ass just seconds away from dropping to the floor if not for the very glaring realization that Yoongiâs here; that your bodyâs split-second response could possibly dictate your entire future with Yoongi, and that your embarrassment would seal the horrid fate of both your threads.
âYou guys know each other or something?â
âSort of,â Yoongi answers for the both of you, looking at you with his eyes thinking out loud as he ignores Jinâs muttering of why he wasnât poured a glass of orange juice. âY/Nâs my⊠momâs best friendâs daughter.â
âYeah,â you affirm, testing the words on your tongue. âAnd Yoongiâs⊠my friend?â
He only shrugs.
âThat works too.â
It could and it would work for you, because the way Yoongi lingers around you as Jin works on your ears gives you a different type of constipation that not one cold, tiny bead could fix.
It should work for you, because youâve never been this ecstatic over incidental connections in your lifetime; not when you learned that you can get 20% off your breakfast muffin orders from this famous joint in the city because your great-grandpa was the first cashier for it maybe a hundred years ago (you do not have a grasp on time past your parentsâ ages), nor when you found out that the librarian is the stepmom of the kid you used to babysit and sheâd let you bring home anything you want.
âStop talking to Y/N, Yoongi,â Jin grumbles at some point, exhaling more pointedly than usual when he doesnât get to stick the bead at the exact pressure point that he needed to. âHer ears are too warm right now.â
âNo, theyâre not,â you immediately retort, the sharp flit of your gaze to him making him mockingly curl his upper lip at you, rolling his eyes at your denial.
It must work for you, because even Jin, your ear seeding guy, could tell that whatever crush or admiration you have for Yoongi would be devastating â itâd be only endearing, if and only if, it was requited.
Yoongi texts you sometime in the evening, a few too many hours later after you left his apartment. You werenât necessarily expecting for him to holler at you by the doorframe, asking you to give him a call to let him know you made it back safe; Yoongi didnât require that of you, and it should be okay.
Youâre only friends.Â
Youâre only a friend who unknowingly drank from his favorite, always-washed-and-dried mug, and heâs only a friend who had texted you at 8 in the evening with a picture of Miso on his momâs lapÂ
one time i woke up with two less beads on my ear and i never questioned it
Youâre only a friend who rapid-fire texts your dad for a picture of Veggie just to immediately reply to Yoongi, even if said image you receive is a live photo of her snoring with the flash going off on her snout.
there would be No Answers either :D
( ⥠)Â
Yoongiâs your little brotherâs dentistâs godson.Â
In an attempt at self-preservation (read: working a job wherein he doesnât feel the need to brawl when faced with a customer with a phone whipped out), Yoongi finally relents to trying one of his connections over the break.
Itâs fairly easy, really. He doesnât have to spend his day looking down on other peopleâs mouths nor hold the suction for the dentist on duty or anything at all; Yoongiâs not exactly making bank, but all he has to do is be a pretty face in the reception area, schedule appointments here and there, type out a few Excel sheets, and his godmother swears thatâs it.
You only wish those were the actual things in his job description, because as soon as you walk in through the double doors, you convince yourself through hell and back that Yoongiâs here for every other reason besides working his summer job.
You wait for the other shoe to drop, for him to telepathically communicate to you (without even making eye contact), that heâs been significantly older than you all this time and that he has a DMD degree and heâs only been humoring you during all your previous interactions, and all the aforementioned is a nudge to letting you down slowly.
You wait for it to hit you that perhaps itâs not really Yoongi-Yoongi whose side profile is facing you, but instead some random guy that has one of those faces, while your little brother waits for you to resume functioning again.
Heâs dressed in scrubs, but Yoongi has one of those faces which you could tell have never worn scrubs before. It doesnât look natural in his frame with the way he looks too foreign and polished in them, almost as if heâs never even stretched upward to pick up something from a cupboard or twisted his arms laterally to get rid of the aches in them.Â
Yoongi looks like he doesnât belong in the dentistâs office thirty minutes away from your childhood home, until he blurts out your name in equal confusion.
"Y/N?" he tilts his head, the unsure tone that coats his words making you snap into attention, walking towards him with a renewed purpose in your steps. âWhat are you... doing here?"
"I'm here to hold his hand," you answer as if itâs the most obvious thing in the world, waving your occupied hand proudly (when just awhile ago you were complaining how clammy your brotherâs hand was) with a hesitant smile. "What are you doing here?"
Yoongiâs lips part in astonishment, almost as if he didnât count on you returning the question to him. He loosely points to the framed picture of the dentist behind him, the chuckle that leaves him making you nod eagerly even before the words could leave him, making it painfully obvious that you already connected the dots to some sort of degree, but you still want to hear him speak nonetheless.
"She's uh, she's my godmom and I'm putting in some hours.â
"Are you getting paid?" you blurt out, eyes later widening when it registers to you that your desperation to keep your conversation going knows no bounds as long as it involves Yoongi, making you swallow your own shame with a cough. âSorry. I'm just a little nosy.â
Yoongi clears his throat at that, pursing his lips in genuine thought at the (valid) question. âUhm, not exactly, I think? I get handed money at the end of the day but really, it's not-..."
You wanted nothing more than to retract your question even before Yoongi could muster finishing his train of thought.
You wanted nothing more than the ground to swallow you whole when Yoongi canât even finish answering your question, to which you already seemingly crossed a line with, because heâs preoccupied.
Yoongiâs not preoccupied with the way your brotherâs started drifting away from you, even with his hand still clasped to yours, except this time heâs treading closer to the reception desk where he stands in, body language glaringly evident that if you were to even loosen your hold on him for a split second, heâll hide behind Yoongiâs feet to avoid getting his routine cleaning.
Heâs not distracted either with the way you keep blinking up at him as if you were communicating your admiration for him in Morse code, nor with the way your lips are still parted with the next awaiting conversation greaser if he were to stall.
Yoongi does stall, not because of you, but because of the woman that strolls into the clinic and past him, her manicured hand grazing past his midsection in the process.
"Hi, Yoongs.â
"Hey, Jisun,â Yoongi immediately replies with a sheepish smile, his hand buffering by his side to return the touch with a gentle pat as his eyes follow her, the flustered lump on his throat making him cough sharply.
Oh.
Itâs not Yoongi who doesnât belong here â itâs you.
"It's more for the experience, then? Not the pay?" you try to finish his thought for him, your voice on the verge of fading if not for the little drops of self-preservation in your throat that keep you standing upright.
Yoongi doesnât look embarrassed over you seeing the interaction unfold, and heâs not uneasy either. He just looks sheepish⊠almost pitiful that you had to see something so unnervingly warm and intimate without even meaning to.
âThat's one way to put it."
Without another word, you nod firmly and he takes that as his signal to actually do his job.
Without another glance, you do your job and hold your little brotherâs hand throughout his appointment, steeling your nerves every time you hear the door to his room open because it would be pointless to look back. Thereâs no way itâs Yoongi finding an apt reason to linger near you, and thereâs no way either for you to come back for conjuring such an expectation.
Yoongi rings you up with no discounts (he's not sure if he's even allowed to) yet he leans in just enough to ruffle your brotherâs hair, gaze fixed on him before it flits to you briefly.
"Good job, buddy. Go pester your sister for some ice cream,â he hums, the almost-customary, dry-humored, and slightly playful goodbye rekindling a little bit of hope in you, enough to make you look up from your shoes without worrying if you have to see Yoongiâs midsection grazed by a hand that isnât yours, again. âSay hi to Veggie for me."
You nod tightly in obligation.
"I hope Miso's well."
( ⥠)Â
Yoongiâs sister is the amateur hairdresser who gave you a bad haircut for free in cosmetology school.
For the record, you werenât searching up Yoongiâs family name and making up a family tree as you went in order to find ways to be closer to him. That wasnât the case at all.
The only pressing situation you had last night on-hand was that your mind was plagued with the saying that hair apparently holds memories, and after a few barely-passing major exams here and there that hours of doom-scrolling and back-to-back partying couldnât fix, and you decided then and there that youâd get a haircut first thing in the morning.
Your budget wasnât that of a pressing issue (itâs no match to the marks on your university portal you could only blankly stare at), but itâs truly up there. You couldnât afford to go to your usual salon, which although may not be the most expensive salon there is in the city (but they did serve iced drinks in-house so that atleast counts for something), would still set you back a few good meals throughout the next two weeks if you were to book an appointment.
You had no choice but to suck it up. You wanted change and you wanted it quick for a fraction of the usual cost, and thatâs why you ended up in the cosmetology school just a few blocks away from your dorm. You only knew five minutes prior to walking there, thanks to a classmate, that they offer services for cheap and that most of the time they end up being actually really good, and you didnât need to hear any more after that.
In hindsight, however, you shouldâve stuck around to hear more.
You shouldâve stuck around to hear that getting A+ (maybe even C-) treatment at a cosmetology school is basically entering the lottery, and that you shouldnât have had a perk in your step walking to there because a higher power, whether itâs up in heaven or just a few blocks away, would mistake it for you being too confident in what you thought you deserved.
You didnât think too much about the way the woman named Eunji, who happily sat you on her chair with a nervous smile and familiar eyes, kept glancing to the back of your head and to the reference picture on your phone.
You didnât think too much when she engaged you in conversation and something about the way she laughed made you squint your eyes as you rack your brain on why she both looks and sounds familiar, nor the way your hair kept getting into your eyes as she blowdried you and how she made no move in moving it the last minute.
Itâs a little bit funny that the one time you didnât think too much is the exact moment when you should have, and the whole vignette stops being funny as soon as you turn your head sideways.
The whole bit goes sideways, just like your haircut, when Yoongi walks towards your hairdresser whoâs not earned her actual license yet.
"Here you go, princess," he scoffs, handing her a cup of iced coffee. "Had the time of my life explaining your order to the barista in the drive-thru booth."
Yoongi takes off his sunglasses, ready to rip her a new one and detail how he had never been more embarrassed knowing the difference between the concepts (concepts, not actualities) of white chocolate and white mocha somehow, but he suddenly stills.
He knew there was someone sitting on his sisterâs chair, and he wasnât really bothered lecturing her in front of a stranger.
Except youâre not a stranger â youâre you, sat on Eunjiâs chair, and youâve physically never looked this unrecognizable to him.
"Y/N?" Yoongi mutters, unwilling to even wait for your acknowledgement before he snaps his heads towards his sister. âWhy's she in your chair?"
"Being supportive," you answer clippedly, only looking at Yoongiâs reflection in the mirror instead of the very real, and very solid him beside you so you wouldnât have to turn your head and see your haircut in a whole new sense. "Also saving my allowance and I needed to get a trim, so I-I figured... why not go to Eunji?"
Yoongi doesnât want to beat a horse when itâs down.
He really, really doesnât want to laugh at you, but with the way youâre blinking at him like youâre held at gunpoint (except the gun is his sisterâs shears), he canât help but put a hand over his mouth.
Heâs not laughing, but he is smiling. Yoongiâs thoroughly amused and deeply pitiful for you all at the same time, and he doesnât know how his smile figures into the scheme of your haircut just yet.
"I could think of a few reasons."
"What do you think?" Eunji cuts in, asking with a nerve-wracking grin on her face with her hands clasped together, the watery gaze she has set on you tugging at your heartstrings in a much different way than when she had tugged at your ends.
"I love it," you answer breathlessly, tears pricking at the corner of your eyes as you try to ignore how much length has been cut off and how the layers she gave you are more of an emotional, haircut-related crashout kind. âOh my god, I love it so, so, so bad."
Eunji breathes a deep sigh of relief at that, her shoulder sagging before she picks herself up and gives you a hug from behind, dashing off to get her camera from her locker instead of her supervisor.
You love the Min family.
You love their warmth and their constant presence, no matter how incidental or fixed.
Youâre trying to love the existing skills of their third-born, however, but you canât tell if your love is that unconditional for a family thatâs always treated you like their own.
"Do you need a hat?" Yoongi asks, his upper lip tucked in between his teeth as he continues to stand behind you. "You look like you need a hat."
"N-no. I really, really..." you hesitate, your exhale far too slow for someone whoâs genuine, but far too stable for someone whoâs pretending to keep it together. "...love the change."
Yoongi gets a full-body shudder.
"I don't," he quips. "I don't think anyone but Eunji would love it."
"Yoongi.â
Itâs simple.Â
Itâs just a simple utterance of his name and yet Yoongi stops cold in his tracks. He reels back the emotion thatâs clear on his face, and he lets go of the money he has crumpled in his fists inside his pockets for you to get another haircut at a salon you actually want to go to, because he doesnât want you to mistake his genuine pity for you as patronization.
Youâre on the verge of crying, but Yoongi doesn't wipe your tears. Instead, he just hovers; heâs still there, whether you like it or not, and he could only hope that his striking resemblance to his sister doesnât further set you off.
"You need a hat," he quietly murmurs, removing his cap from his head and putting it on yours seamlessly. "You don't have to give it back.â
Yoongi leaves it at that, watching you walk out with gas as soon as Eunji finishes taking photos of your hair, before turning his attention to his sister. Her coffee order isnât the biggest issue they have for the day, instead, itâs her shitty hairdressing skills and how youâre far too kind.
Itâs close to midnight, right after you reschedule your ear seeding appointment with Jin for another day because you couldnât bear seeing anyone with your fuckass haircut (he unfortunately doesnât know any pressure points that would make your hair grow back longer, and he did research on that after being suspiciously silent when you sent him a picture of your hair), when Yoongi texts you.
He doesnât talk about The Incident. He doesnât apologize and go on a rant about how he couldâve reacted better awhile ago.
He just sends a picture of his cat sleeping snugly in a Dutch oven that he got from a blind box and drove to another city for.
sometimes miso throws up orange fur
she is white btw
You reply not a minute later before locking your phone.
good night miso
( ⥠)Â
Yoongiâs your best friendâs best friend other than you.
Youâre not one to gatekeep. In fact, youâre the number one hater for every creator who washes up in your feed and suggests for you to go manually type up and search a link or press another button to know the follow-up to the already lengthy, chatty video you already watched.
You know youâre not privy to most things; youâre not even privy to anything at all.
Itâs not a conundrum with a tight space for it to be debated upon; itâs just the truth.Â
The very idea of everyone in the world being connected to each other within six degrees of separation was shaky in itself. If you were asked to, you canât exactly place the most far-fetched celebrity in the media and trace back the six or less people that would serve as the bridge for you to be acquainted to them.Â
You believe, both in a pipe dream and the innate hope you harbor, that you can be connected to said celebrity or anyone just as significant (maybe even notorious), yet itâs the semantics of trying to pinpoint your exact link that you canât be bothered to do so in your free time. Youâre in no rush to discern how many degrees separated you are from the mayor of the city, and youâre not jumping at the opportunity to know how many handshakes away you are from the executive producer of your favorite show.
You believe in fortuity. You believe in the hope that contingency promises and how ridiculous your current chances could be. You believe in select customs when they serve you and you put your hands together to ward off what donât. You take what resonates with you, even if your belief in tomorrow comes from a long line of whatever came before you that you donât fully believe in or if it spawns from the clench of your chest that you get when you see something scribbled in a brick wall and you decide that itâll forever echo in your mind.
Youâre not privy to the general admiration you have for Yoongi, nor are you privy to all the connections you have with him.
You believe in fortuity and you believe in Yoongi, but the two arenât always synonymous.
"Yoongi?" you ask, the slip of his name from your mouth appearing out of habit rather than actual disbelief. âWhat are you doing here?â
He looks like he belongs here. He belongs here as much as you do and as much as youâve never questioned the specifics, he looks you up and down with a discreetness that doesnât belong in a party as big as this.
Yoongi makes Jiminâs party feel small to you. He zeroes in on you with a gaze that you canât begin to dissect because a grunt slips past his lips before you could even explain what you were doing in the same space as him, again.
"What are you doing here?" he purses his lips, exhaling sharply. "Y/N, it's great to see a familiar face and all, but please don't stand so close to me," Yoongi grunts through his teeth as if your proximity to him physically pierces through his clothes and sears his skin. "I'm seeing this new girl and she gets a little bit-..."
"Hey."
Before you could even try to recover from the recoil of stepping away from Yoongi immediately so he could entertain her, before you could even try to nurse the harshness of his words and his gaze that penetrated your belief in him â Yoongi gives you a further light nudge in panic before backtracking, his arm now across your shoulders.
"She's my cousin, baby," Yoongi breathlessly greets, the belated addition of your name never falling to your ears because you choose not to know her; because youâre rendered frozen anyway when you realize that Yoongi introduces you as someone far more personal to him, yet someone even more distant to anyone who could see you. âSay hi, Y/N."
You canât even be introduced as his friend.
At the back of your mind, you doubt if being introduced as one would even make a difference because the woman before you doesnât seem the least bit interested nor intimidated at however Yoongi introduces you as.
You werenât competition to her, nor did it feel like you were viable opposition to practically anyone in Yoongiâs life.
"Hi," you nod curtly, the clench of your jaw doing little to ease the migraine that blooms from the back of your head.
"Pleasure to meet a family member of my boyfriend, finally. He won't take me home for some reason," she jokes, her outstretched hand being taken by yours thatâs gone cold, making her raise a brow, yet she takes it in stride anyway.
Anything for Yoongiâs supposed family, it seems.
"What was Yoongi like growing up?"
"Oh. Yeah, we didn't see each other that much growing up," you swallow, the shallowness of your tone making Yoongiâs casual arm around your shoulders falter, the slyness of his gaze on you curving into something unidentifiable. âEvery time I see him, I still... learn something new."
Your voice tapers off, and both Yoongi and his girlfriend let you be. She only pushes for a little right after, when Yoongiâs hand is back snug to her waist and her head is pressed to his chest, yet you canât bring yourself to add to the conversation she so badly wants.
She should know that she has no reason to impress you. She should know that she doesnât have any reason to be afraid of letting you down, because neither does Yoongi.
Jimin, yours and Yoongiâs best friend, claps.Â
âIâm back! Got in this long-ass line and-..." he trails off, looking between you and Yoongi and his girlfriend. âOh? You've met each other then. Great!"
Her eyes only narrow in confusion for a split second, but she lets it be.
Yoongi lets it go, right after he sends a few glances your way and realizes that Jiminâs talking to you animatedly.
You only let go of it when you get home from the party far too early than anyone could account you for.
The grasp you have on fortuity is barely firm, just barely getting by, so much so that you donât even look at your phone when it vibrates on your nightstand.
jiminâs asking where you are
The grasp you have on Yoongi is barely solid, only enough to hold onto thread instead of cloth, that you donât reply to his text when you see it in the morning, nor bring up the very fact that it was Jimin himself who hailed a ride for you.
( ⥠)Â
Yoongiâs a familiar stranger to you.Â
Heâs basically a crow to you, and to him, you remain to be the pesky, overeager, and insanely optimistic human who wants to domesticate him.
Heâs a highly-intelligent, unforgetting, vindictive creature. He knows patterns when he sees them but never flukes, not because he thinks heâs too good for them, but because it felt impossible.
To you, the world had never felt smaller when Yoongi first sat next to you at the dining table.
To Yoongi, the world had never felt bigger since heâs first crossed paths with you. It wasnât the dining table for him. It wasnât every other interaction that came after â it was everything before.
As soon as his eyes lay on you from across the floor of the reception hall, the warmth that spreads across your chest is everything but welcome. It stings and it burns and it leaves marks in its wake because itâs Yoongi and itâs you and thereâs no other explanation.
Thereâs no other plausible, full-bodied explanation for the way Yoongi hates familiarity, other than the fact that itâs from you.
Thereâs no salve for his lack of need for you either.
âAre you a fucking stalker?âÂ
âW-what? No!â you stammer, eyebrows drawn together as you try to level with him. âThis is pure coincidence. I wasnât even trying toâ all the times before either, I swear! I never intended to bump into you.â
Yoongi rolls his eyes, the scoff that leaves his lips only adding to the uncomfortable warmth that burns your fingertips.
âSay that youâre right. That every interaction, every meeting, every discreet instance of you shooting your shot at me, which by the way is not discreet at all, is just pure coincidenceâ do you think Iâm happy about it?â
You want to correct him.
You want to point out every thread between you thatâs there yet you never pulled on. You want to write his name on a piece of blank paper and map out with yarn all the degrees youâre separated from him, and yet you donât. You canât focus on anything with regards to proving yourself right and him wrong when all you can zero in on is the little amount of self-preservation you have left.
âBut you donât hate me, Yoongi,â you murmur, shaking your head earnestly. âYou said it yourself. Y-you said itâs nice to see me and-âŠâ
âI said that in the past but I donât mean it now! Yes, youâre familiar, and that benefits me when I get put into situations and all I happen to know is you,â he snaps, throwing his head back. âI donât mean it now. Itâs not very nice to see you when everyone, including the girl I actually like, just assumes that weâre together because you kept looking at me!â
âB-but I donât-âŠ. I-I donât do so well in new-âŠâ the words die in your throat, the gentle yet firm tug he has on your wrist making you freeze in its inescapable warmth. It should be familiar. Yoongi should be familiar, but he feels everything besides that. âBut youâre the only one I know.â
âHere. Iâll introduce you to someone and then you can hang onto him.â
Yoongi wordlessly takes you across the hall, delivering you like youâre some misplaced package that ended up on his porch. He doesnât even look back at you despite his hand being wrapped around your wrist, whereas all you can do is burn holes at the back of his head with your gaze, ignoring the curious onlooking to your predicament as you swallow the lump in your throat.
âHey, Jungkook,â Yoongi makes his presence known as soon as he sees the familiar mop of hair within his eyeline, his holler effectively taking said guyâs attention.
âOh, hey-âŠâ
Yoongi, without sparing a second glance to you, nudges you gently to him.
âThis is Y/N. Someone I know. Can you watch over her for a second?â
Jungkook, the guy youâve known for a total of two seconds, hesitantly receives you with a pat to your arm, letting his hand linger there as the both of you look at the back of Yoongiâs retreating figure.
ââŠokay?â
Just two seconds ago, Jungkook was in a heated one-on-one with his friend Hoseok if it was ethical for one to let their hypothetical girlfriendâs hypothetical close friend sit in the front seat, if said hypothetical girlfriend was drunk and wanted to lay in the backseat (Jungkookâs on team not let close friend sit shotgun) â now, heâs in a silent one-on-one with you.
Itâs silent, of course, until you sniffle.
âOh my god, are you alright?â Jungkook panickedly asks, fishing out a handkerchief from his pocket. âDo the tears have to do something with how weird Yoongi was two seconds ago?â
âYeah.â
âI figured,â Jungkook, someone youâve known for less than five minutes, rubs comforting circles on your back.
You donât mind.
âIâm sorry. I drank from this awhile ago but I swear I didnât spit on it or anything,â he frowns, his hand outstretched invitingly enough for you to interpret it as friendly, but distant enough for you to have the chance to be wary. âOr do you hate drinking from a strangerâs water bottle thatâs already open?â
âIt hasnât happened before, but I donât think Iâll hate-hate it,â you mumble through broken sniffles, turning your head briefly, partly to wipe away your tears, but mostly to not look like a complete idiot. âAlso, youâre not a stranger.â
âRight! Iâm Jungkook again, by the way. I donât think Yoongi even said my name properly because of how fast he was dying to get out of here,â Jungkook laughs, the sincerity flowing out of him being easy. Uncomplicated.
You drift to your default silence, nursing your cries to yourself while trying not to make a sound, but itâs proven difficult when you see two large hands underneath your downturned head: one holding the water bottle, and the other cupped underneath it.
Jungkook thinks your questioning gaze is directed to the way his hands are positioned instead of his default kindness for you, and just maybe everyone else heâs ever encountered.
âBecause your hands are shaking.â
He lifts the bottle to your lips, being extra careful in tilting it and having his hand tuck right under your chin to ensure that not a single speck of water would drop to the elegant dress youâre wearing (that youâve only borrowed, unlike his assumption that you just have the number lying around).
Jungkook sheepishly excuses himself right after you tap him on the forearm to let you know youâve had your fill, the snort that leaves his lips almost disturbing his methodical pouring of the remaining water to the bottle cap.
âSorry. Iâm a little bit thirsty myself.â
âYou could just drink from your own bottle,â you find yourself genuinely laughing the first time into the night, shrugging playfully. âJust a thought.â
âBut I donât want you to think Iâm a weirdo for drinking from my bottle deliberately after you drank from it,â Jungkook frowns.
âOf course,â you nod eagerly, gesturing to the live image of a man as structured as him taking tiny little sips from an even tinier bottle cap. âThis isnât any weirder at all.â
âThank you, pretty girl,â Jungkook bows in the most regal way he could, the grin that graces his face easing the weight that Yoongi had left on your chest. âNot bad for a first impression, hm?â
.
.
.
Yoongi has a habit of mumbling.
Jimin has a habit of eavesdropping, especially when itâs Yoongi mumbling angrily to himself.
âWell thatâs fucking weird.â
âWhat?â Jimin clarifies, furrowing his brows at the annoyance thatâs plastered clearly on his friendâs face.
Yoongi doesnât explain. He just barks at him, arms crossed on his chest as he exhales slowly.
âGo bring Y/N a bottle of water. Donât tell her itâs from me.â
âA please would be nice,â Jimin mutters. âAnd no? Give it to her yourself.â
âSheâs your best friend.â
âSheâs your friend too.â
âSheâs not,â Yoongi corrects him, the adjustment falling short because Jimin doesnât even flinch at the attempt.
Itâs pure, utter bullshit. Itâs a propaganda that he wonât fall for and itâs a movement that even Yoongi himself isnât truly invested in.
âSheâs not?â Jimin echoes. âThe girl who hates driving in the dark and in the rain, who drove you to the airport in spite of all that because my car was in the shop last week, is not your friend?â
Yoongiâs breath hitches at the reminder.Â
His heart buckles at the way he didnât even know you were scared until now, because you only talked to him that day like normal. Like nothing bothered you.
Like warm, as always.
Like you.
( ⥠)Â
Yoongiâs not intentionally seeking punishment.
Frankly speaking, he doesnât even know exactly whatâs heâs asking from you. He doesnât know if thereâs a word for the hollow, all-consuming guilt thatâs planted in his chest and grows roots in the pit of his stomach and blooms in the back of his skull.
If Yoongi were to hear his own words repeated back to him, with even just a fraction of the amount of vitriol and misplaced frustration, he wouldâve called it then and there. He wouldâve hurt himself and ran for the hills right after to recuperate because thereâs no amount of distance that would ever stop the echoes of his own tirade.
You werenât Yoongi, however, and heâs never hated that fact more.
Itâs beyond good, maybe even immaculate that you werenât him, because you were far too better. Far too warm and too good, because even though Yoongi doesnât seek punishment from his own hands, you wouldnât deal him the same deck of cards if he were to explicitly ask you.
âIâm so sorry, Y/N. You didnâtâ fuck â you didnât deserve that at all and Iâve never been more stupid,â he apologized through the bedroom door of your childhood home. It was his parentsâ monthly catch-up with your own and although the invite wasnât really open for everyone (not one child from either families came with whenever it was this time of the month), Yoongi jumped at the opportunity to come over. You were still warm, although not for him, but not one second passed wherein you took out your anger for him to his parents who didnât know any better.
âI didnât mean any of it. I-I was angry, and I was frustrated, and I didnât know how to juggle everything â but Iâm not making excuses! Iâm being honest, and the truth was that I was an asshole and I took it out on you,â Yoongi had apologized to you in his dorm when it was time for your session with Jin. You didnât work your way around him to change your routines; you stayed rooted and despite being overwhelmed with guilt and the need to make himself better, itâs Yoongi who bended backwards by not fleeing at all. You didnât take it out on Jin, and you didnât even take it out on the apparently lucky succulent that Yoongi had slipped to your hands during one of your sessions.
âYou can push me away. Please. Y-you can cuss me out and everything, and I know Iâm asking for forgiveness and you can keep saying no, but I-Iâm not doing this to absolve myself, yâknow? I just donât want you to have my⊠my own words linger in your mind,â Yoongi pleaded to you during your little brotherâs return appointment at the dentist. It wasnât even summer. Heâs not even working for his godmother anymore, and yet Yoongi still came into the date he booked your sibling for. You didnât give him attitude; you didnât take it out on him in public.
What Yoongi seeks from you is indiscernable. Itâs neither penance or punishment. Itâs not forgiveness or absolution.
The only absolute thing that Yoongi knows he wants from you, even if itâs within his lowly means and that equates to being beneath you, is something akin to familiarity.
It hurts to see you there but not for him. It aches to see you everywhere and digest that the only times your gaze would land on him is when he makes himself painfully known for your anger and frustration to snag on, anything, really, just to be reminded that you know him enoughâ even if itâs just barely to get by â to be annoyed over.
Youâre everywhere and Yoongi doesnât complain, even if every single bone in his body is just yearning for the warmth that he took for granted when your shoulders would touch and your knees would brush and your eyes would meet.Â
Yoongiâs being burnt alive from your frigid avoidance towards him, even if youâre practically everywhere he goes, but he doesnât flee.
Heâs not avoiding you. Heâs taking the hurt and he keeps taking it, because although itâs not punishment enough, itâs close enough to warmth.
Itâs close enough to familiarity, even as he pulls desperately at all the threads that bind the two of you close but never together â because it had only been him who had delayed the latter from happening.
âIâm not making excuses. I-Iâm being honest and itâs ugly in hindsight, but itâs the truth,â Yoongi whispers, gnawing on his bottom lip as he stands outside of your dorm with no buffer this time; no other connection, no other degree of separation. âI-I wanted to be connected to you in every single way withoutâ w-without anyone else bridging the way for me.â
âThatâs stupid,â you mutter.
âI.. know. God, Y/N. You donât know how much I think of you and all these stupid, fucking ways I want to be your guy for everything,â Yoongi throws his head back, running a hand through his face as he tries to regain his footing. âI-I want to be the guy who fills up your wiper fluid and double checks if youâre being ripped off at the shop because youâre too pretty. Itâs stupid, and I know that, but I thought youâd have the tendency to be like your mom a-and be infatuated with wallpapers one day, and I want to be the guy who talks you down from sticking them to the granite your apartment came with-âŠâ
âYou sound like an idiot, Yoongi.â
âItâs idiotic. Itâs so, so stupid. I want to be your bootleg designer sunglasses guy. I-I want to know how to cut your cuticles and touch up your layers. God, I even have handwritten notes on how I could be the most annoying, present being in your life and-âŠâ
You slap Yoongi very, very lightly.
Itâs practically just a tap on his cheek that wouldnât even be enough to spook a bug off your arm, but itâs you. Itâs you and your touch and your warmth and Yoongi literally jolts with electricity, the words stopping right at the tip of his tongue as you stare him down.
âThatâs stupid, Yoongi.â
âI know. Itâs so stupid,â he shakily affirms, cheeks impossibly warm at your touch. At your proximity, even if your chest is far from touching his own and even if your hand that was on his cheek is now back on your side. âItâs stupid that I kept pulling down the collar of my shirt when I first sent you that picture of Miso, a-and how Iâm a grown man but hid behind my literal cat every time I felt that it was getting too real and I-I couldnât keep up.âÂ
Yoongi didnât always believe in connections, and you have no doubt about it.
You have no doubt about Yoongiâs stupidly honest and sincere outpouring either.
âStupidest thing I know,â you affirm with a whisper, nodding your head tightly.
Yoongi didnât always believe in fortuity.Â
He didnât believe in yearning and contingency until it dawned into his thick, stubborn skull that whatâ who â he wanted most is you.
âI want you in all the ways I already know you,â Yoongi relents, not out of surrender, but out of admission. Out of sincere, full-bodied truth. âI donât want to stop, sweetheart. I donât wanna stop thinking and being all the ways I could ever be connected to you.â
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I love you too. (Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jungkook One Shot)
Requested by @adsku
Summary: You donât want to love again, thanks to Kim Taehyung and your best friendâs little secrets but Jungkook doesnât want to give you up. Not when you always deny the three words he keeps telling you.
Pairing: JungkookĂReader, TaehyungĂReader
His heart beat rhythmically in his chest, your head resting on the expanse of his skin and your hands wrapped around his waist. His fingers drew circles on your back, a smile gracing your lips at how content you felt.Â
âI think we should get a seven tiered cake on our wedding.â Taehyung voiced, earning a chuckle from you as you looked up at him. His lips turned into a pout, eyebrows etched together in a frown. âI wasnât joking.âÂ
You shook your head, picking yourself up and straddling him. Taehyung rested his head on the headboard of the bed, his eyes raking over your body which was covered only in undergarments as an aftermath of the sexual activities you had engaged in, just moments ago. He placed his hands on your hips, smiling at the promise ring that glinted on his finger. "You havenât proposed to me, Taehyung, itâs only promise rings.â You replied, your voice soft and breathy in the dark room. Taehyung rolled his eyes, getting up and pushing you onto your back before hovering over you. His rubbed his nose against yours, his forehead resting upon yours.
âItâs a promise ring. Which means I promise to be with you forever. Iâve booked you for myself so someday, weâre definitely getting married.â He explained, holding your wrists in place on either side of your head. You bit your lips, your heart racing in your chest as you admired the man before you. Taehyung was simply beautiful. The charming personality was just a bonus. You couldnât bring yourself to believe that it had been three years since your relationship began, every day being something new with Taehyung by your side. All your friends always told you that he was a gem, especially Jane, your best friend since forever. You treasured your love, knowing that youâll never be so smitten with anyone else.Â
âOkay then, my future husband. What else do you have in mind?â You asked sweetly, laughing when Taehyungâs head fell to your shoulder, a soft groan escaping his lips at the nickname. âYou make me absolutely insane. I love you so much.â He mumbled, his lips leaving open mouthed kisses on your neck which had you fluttering your eyes shut. His lips trailed down your body, his hands letting go of your wrists and caressing your skin.
âI love you too.â
____________________________________________
You glanced at yourself in the mirror, running your fingers across the smooth material of the light blue dress you were wearing. Your silver stilettos glimmered in the lights, your hair neatly styled at the back of your head. Your make up was subtle, enough to hide all the flaws that tainted your face. You sighed, concluding that you finally looked perfect to be attending a wedding.Â
âAnd who gave you permission to look so gorgeous? Now Iâll have to fight every man who looks your way.â You rolled your eyes, a faint smile playing at your lips as you turned around to see your boyfriend standing by the door, clad in a dark grey suit. Your heart fluttered at the sight of him smiling fondly at you, a dimple digging into his cheek. âSays the man who has every patient of his swooning over him.â You teased, grinning as Jungkook walked towards you while laughing. It was ironic, actually, seeing as you used to be his patient too. The difference was that Jungkook was the one who started wanting something more from you.Â
glimpse: the good thing about professing your feelings to jungkook is that it'd be over with, whether or not he likes you back â the bad thing is that he rejects you, even if you haven't confessed.
alternatively, crushing on jungkook who's in your friend group is, has, and will never be a good idea.
[ push n pull fic YIPPPEEEEE, fluff, angst, So Much Yearning, friends to lovers trope, jealousy, dunking on a stewpid jk (as one does), arguments that kinda hit home, redemption!! ]
notes: WE R SO BACK!!!! thank u for waiting đ«đ€
as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!!
You will never tell Jungkook how desperately you want to be loved.
In your defense (much to Jungkookâs offence), you want to be loved as desperately as he acts on an everyday basis. Heâs not pathetic in the sense that heâs hopeless, but rather pathetic in the light that you want the entirety of him (stubbornness and occasional dimness included) to rub off on you.
You want to be loved pathetically in the same way that Jungkook never computes his expenses when it comes to self-indulgence yet always calculates when it comes to actual requirements. You want to be loved as wholly by the guy who can get by one DIY dorm dinner at a time by asking for scraps from the whole floor with a grin and his hands cupped in begging.
Jungkookâs one of your friends, if not the best youâve ever had, and itâs a miracle that you havenât jumped at each and every available chance to confess your growing feelings for him.
You bit your tongue that one time he bought you "one of those silly blind boxes you like" on a whim from a bookstore he only went inside to in the first place because he was dying outside in the heat, only to open it for you with your eyes closed and earn you an extra rare figure.
You had to physically restrain yourself (read: clasp your hands together in front of you) when Jungkook made you swap your counterfeit, barely-holding-on kitten heels for his trustworthy slides on the way home because your research presentation prior had you pacing nervously.
Every time that he gives you your tax of whatever he ordered (which always ends up being the best variant that your friend group could possibly order for a meal or a sweet treat), you have to etch into your head clearly, with ballpoint pen, that you will never tell Jungkook how desperately you want him to love you.
Every time that he gives you a one-on-one friend outing, just as he does with everyone else from your circle of ten people and counting (you lost count because you figure that all of you are about to outgrow the long table in the library that nobody else could fill), you convince yourself to never tell him how much you want it to be just you.
You figure that youâll tell Jungkook that you do hold a candle for him, despite not detailing the extent, in this lifetimeâ maybe even the next time you get a moment alone with him, but you figure you wonât do it now; now, when heâs berating you for just a tiny sacrifice you made thatâs minuscule for everything he does for you and everyone else.
âYouâre impossible!â he huffs, his annoyance for you being loud enough to stop his faux display of studying and gather attention from everyone else in the library who actually is. Jungkook holds up his phone for you to read, brows scrunched at your look of amusement. âJimin told me you were lactose intolerant!â
You canât figure how and why Jungkook and Jiminâs conversation even flitted towards you when you recall clearly that the lactose-filled meal in question was from two weeks ago. You donât question it because you already know that even giving it a second thought would already be too pompous of you, and you donât question either why Jungkook looks too devastated at the realization.
âI just tolerated it,â you snort, burying your nose back into your notes, missing the flash of regret in Jungkookâs features.
He doesnât know whether heâd feel more sorry over the fact that he didnât know you were lactose intolerant, or that you didnât speak up at all to preserve his excitement over eating at the restaurant he wanted to try out.
âBut why would you?â he sulks, completely foregoing the textbook he has opened on the same page for the last hour.
You know exactly why you did, but youâd rather not tell Jungkook now.Â
Youâll tell him some other time, that much youâre sure of, but not now â not now when heâs too devastated over your tummy issues, and not now when heâs just one revelation away from chewing you out over something he has to learn from someone else.
âYour broke ass bought it so I had to,â you murmur, rolling your eyes as you rest your chin on the palm of your hand.
âFoul,â Jungkook immediately chuckles, shaking his head at your retort even if he knows youâre just kidding around (he knows you wonât hurt him like that that), finally opening his laptop.
Jungkook, your friend, finally types on his laptop, yet itâs not for the contribution that he badly needs to put in for a group project.
Instead, he opens up the Google Doc and writes in a bullet point underneath your name, the words do not give cheese acquainted with three exclamation points â along with your name, is the names of your mutual friends and Jungkookâs observations that would come in handy for an outing, a gift, or both.
Jungkookâs that good of a friend, and thatâs why youâll never tell him how desperately you want to be loved by him.
( ⥠)Â
Getting gifts for someone who has a credit card and has no inhibitions when it comes to buying whatever they want is a difficult task.
Getting Jungkook for Secret Santa this year is even harder than the last, and that was when Jin snuck five strips of his name and left more than five of you (you donât even know how that happened) without gifts, all while he was laughing to himself after he successfully gaslit everyone into thinking that they were all drunk and made the mistake themselves.
You donât know what to give Jungkook that he doesnât already have. He doesnât have a girlfriend the last time you checked and while you canât exactly wrap yourself in ugly, recycled kraft paper (as opposed to Jiminâs dumb, all-knowing-about-your-hidden-feelings suggestion), youâd rather not drive Jungkook away, even if you donât know either how to drive him in.
You donât have the slightest clue to what his âsurprise me ;)â scribble underneath his name means and it makes you feel guilty, far more than he ever could have after Jiminâs revelation of your dietary restrictions.Â
Itâs not the dilemma of who would sit next to who in the large albeit crowded dining table in the cabin that you rented out, nor is it the cooking and wrapping duties that each of you are tasked with that stresses you out this holiday season.
You wish so badly that the largest champagne problem you have at the moment was wondering if your Christmas gift for your nitpicky mom and nonchalant dad back at home arrived in time. You pray that your biggest hurdle is either convincing Namjoon that his room is just cold and not haunted, or breaking off a fight between Eunwoo and Soomin because they keep fighting over whose overpriced film camera will be used for the picture by the tree, or even talking Mingyu down from smacking Jin in his sleep.
The largest champagne problem that you have, even if itâs actually between life and living said life in peace without minding your inevitable heartbreak, is worrying about Jungkookâs gift.
You hold your breath as soon as Hoseok gathers everyone into the living room, your nerves probably getting the best of you because you hear Jungkook hollering to whoeverâs closest to the thermostat to adjust it because your teeth kept chattering.
You have nothing to be nervous about, you convince yourself as Jungkook steps up into the middle and awaits with wide arms, your best friend being another victim of assuming that the comically large wrapped present is his (itâs not).
Jungkook doesnât have any expectations for you to meet, you convince yourself as he becomes even more hyper when he learns that itâs you, so much so that he takes a lap around the backyard with his hands clapping furiously.
You canât love Jungkook any more than you do now, you realize as you see Jungkook throw his head back in glee when he opens up your gift.
Itâs only a Himalayan salt lamp. Itâs only a lamp that you didnât buy for so much. Itâs only a thing that Jungkook said to you in passing one time, yet heâs beyond grateful â enough for him to carry you in his arms and take another lap around the backyard.
âGod, you love me soooo bad,â he lulls, teasing you mercilessly as he unceremoniously drops you so he could adore the lamp up close. âI always wanted to lick one!â
âYouâre so stupid,â you mutter, rolling your eyes at his excitement over something so simple; something so insignificant in the world of thoughtful, expensive gifts.
You affectionately think that Jungkookâs stupid, yet you canât tear your eyes away from him.
âI didnât hear a no,â Jungkook hums with his tongue out, eyes wide and flickering between you and the lamp. âShould I do it? Should I? Iâm doing-âŠ!â
You put a spoonful of cake into his mouth instead, the whine that escapes his throat still sounding like gratefulness to your ears.
Tonightâs not the night wherein you tell Jungkook how badly you want to be loved by him â not when heâs so preoccupied with his new salt lamp that he keeps daring people to take a lick of, not when heâs the one whoâs being convinced that thereâs a ghost in Namjoon's room and being bullied into sleeping in.
Not when Jungkookâs being the perfect, lovable friend that he is during the holidays and every other day.
( ⥠)Â
Youâre well-aware that Jungkookâs a catch.
You know that heâs a catch and heâll never live it down, and neither can you.
Youâre very painfully aware that Jungkookâs a catch because youâre reminded of it every single day whenever youâre with your friends. You know that atleast two of them were integrated into the group in the first place because they liked Jungkook, and that doesnât really bother you (more than it should, atleast) anymore.Â
Soraâs crush formed out of boredom on Jungkook disappeared as soon as she got a boyfriend, but you understand why her gaze lingered on him in the first place.
Eunjiâs crush on Jungkook already dissipated the moment she learned about his GPA, but you get why she had been attracted to his charm anyway.
You know that heâs a catch and that heâs not solely yours either, and the latter makes you humble.
âThereâs flowers on your desk again,â you point out, the arrangement irking you for more reasons than one. âWhy do you have to be so popular and handsome.. and lovable,â you mumble, the tail end of your mini rant barely being heard by Jungkook because he's too busy admiring his gift.
âWhatâs that now?â Jin piped up, eyebrows furrowed upon picking up your angry muttering. He's beyond confused, maybe just as much as you are, when you just snarl at him for his unintentional use of supersonic hearing.
âAnd why do I have to sit next to you even if I have allergies,â you redirect your attention to Jungkook who has to sweep the flowers to a beaten-up paper bag for safekeeping, the item in his backpack being the most used object for all of the admiration towards him.
âBecause youâre the best-est friend ever,â he rolls his eyes, the faux pout on his lips surprisingly softening you instead of the opposite. âAnd maybe Iâm the worst-est one to keep putting you through this.â
âYou sound so stupid,â you reply automatically, crossing your arms and keeping them there. âBut youâre right,â you exhale through your nose, conceding your defeat over willingly letting him put you through this, carrying the blame by yourself.
Jungkook doesnât only act like this with you anyway. Thereâs no special treatment, thereâs no false hopes being promised â itâs just you genuinely happening to fall for him.
âCome on, just tolerate it! Pinch your nose or something!â
âWhy should I? Find another seatmate,â you sulk, making a point to angle your back away from him and towards Jin whoâs at your right, doing his best at holding in a laugh over how ridiculous the both of you look.
âObviously youâre the one with the latest phone so you have to take pictures of me with the flowers!â Jungkook whines, punctuating his sentence with a hand on his hip. Heâs sulking because youâre sulking, and youâve never hated him more at the moment. âWhy else would I force you to sit with me?â
Jungkookâs stupid, and so are you, so youâd rather not tell him how desperately you want to be loved by him today.
( ⥠)Â
In all fairness, you thought you would lose nothing.
You thought you would lose nothing because in the first place, you barely expected anything out of Jungkook. Liking him didnât mean that you were indebted to him, and liking you back isnât something that he owed to you either.
You werenât expecting Jungkook to fall on his knees and say something stupid to hint at his mutual love for you (although you did think about it a couple of times), but you atleast expected a little bit of respect from him to try and see the strength it took you to even confess.
You planned it perfectly, even taking a page off his book and making a whole word document for it wherein you spent days typing whatever crossed your mind throughout the day and erasing what seemed the most impossible throughout the night.Â
In your word document, you and Jungkook would be out in the snow, skating in an outdoor rink even if neither of you know how to. You figure that you wonât attempt to drag (read: hobble with) him to the middle of the ice because in case he doesnât like you back, the waddle back to the exit wouldnât be as awkward; if Jungkook does like you back, youâll still be hobbling to the exit, albeit happily.
In your word document, thereâs a spine of a script that you would say when the day comes. Youâll skim along the lines of how youâve never been so enamored with someone in your entire life (with the internal note that youâll dial it back a bit if his expression turns sour), of how bright he makes your days for you, and how he doesnât have to be obligated to like you back.
In your word document, youâre set. Youâve planned a foolproof blueprint of what would turn out, whether or not Jungkook is set on loving you the way you desperately want to be â
Except now, Jungkook completely undoes everything youâve ever worked for.
Now, he looks at you with a glint in his eye that looks more apologetic than it is endearing. You donât even know what led to your heartbreak exactly because one minute, you were just studying, and by the next, Jungkookâs already letting you down even if you haven't had the chance to rise.
You swear on your life that you werenât giving any signals at all that you were actually about to confess. You were only silent, refusing to talk to him because you were too stressed over your task and that you were scared you would burst into tears if you tried mouthing the formula out loud, yet Jungkook mistakes it for your love.
Whatever you do on a daily basis, whatever you do based on your nature, Jungkook mistakes it for a confession that he wasnât even supposed to hear until the end of the week.
He wasnât wrong about the fact that you love him â what heâs wrong about is his assumption that your silence around him when itâs just the two of you, right now while you lose your mind over an assignment as youâre dressed in last weekâs sweater and last semesterâs horror, is your confession.
âIâm sorry, Y/N,â Jungkook winces, gently patting you on the shoulder as youâre yet to digest his rejection. âBut I just donât think weâll work out.â
( ⥠)Â
You theorized that getting over Jungkook would be fairly easy on the chance that he rejects you after your confession.
You figure that Jungkook himself as a concept would be drastically difficult to move on from because he was just so lovable. He doesnât know how to read a room and itâs one of his better quirks when youâre worrying over nothing. He doesnât know much about knowing when to let up, and it comes in clutch when heâs pushing you to wholeheartedly do an assignment even if youâre already burnt out from crying.
Jungkook, as a concept, is indestructible. Heâs the everyday variant of the goodness that some frat guys possess occasionally. Heâs the realistic, attainable version of a main lead in a manhwa thatâs only perfect 1/4 into the plot.Â
Heâs the manifestation of every good deed a stranger has done for you, except heâs someone you know with your heart and not just someone you could sketch from memory.Â
With that, you also figured that moving on from Jungkook canât be that hard because he was too out of reach despite being in the same friend group as you. Surely, it wouldnât be so catastrophically hard to move on from a guy who just gasps for air every five minutes when heâs in charge of cooking in the BBQ hangout (instead of using the exhaust like a normal person), or from a guy who thinks citing references for a paper is only a suggestion.
The funny thing about it all is that you never actually confessed to Jungkook.
Actually (and contrary to the assumptions of the other friends you have from your circle), youâve never said it to his face that you do have a crush on him. Youâre ultimately known to be the friendliest person to ever walk the campus, and while not the most confrontational, they atleast expected for you to confess to Jungkook in your own way.
What actually happened was that Jungkook read through you â he does happen to be right about your feelings for him! Heâs the second friendliest person right beneath you, and so the way he rejected you should never sting this much.
Jungkook thought it out meticulously. He read into the way you spent extra attention listening to him with your eyes practically gleaming. He read into the way youâd lag back behind him and hold him by his wrist whenever you were all crossing the street. Hell, he even read into the way you would take a shot at opening the extremely tight water bottle from the vending machine before everyone else.
The funny, tragic thing about it is that whilst Jungkook wasnât wrong about pinpointing your feelings for him â you never confessed.
Jeon Jungkook, the second, ultimate friendliest man that your university has ever known, rejected you without even hearing the actual words from you.
Heâs turned his back on you even before you could reach him, and the realization sinks in you unsettlingly. You never expected for him to like you back because it would be unfair of you, and you knew that; what just happened to hurt you most was that Jungkook didnât even think twice.
He hadnât given you the chance to pour your heart out at the very least.
He hadnât even given you the space to breathe right after the rejection, because he skips and puts a smile on before winking, telling you that heâll never speak of it again because you must probably be embarrassed.
The funniest thing about it all is that you arenât embarrassed â youâre actually devastated about it.
Itâs an odd event for Jungkook to feel lonely because with such a big friend group, he never thought heâd feel a little empty despite literally rubbing elbows in a circular table. He never thought heâd come to be a little annoyed at Jimin and his routine, playful, borderline offensive banter heâd always have with you at the top of the morning, and he never thought heâd even be more annoyed over the absence of it.
Thereâs one less laugh in the circle. One less bag strewn underneath the table, one less coffee order written on the notes app, and one less person to look for when hanging out.
Youâre missing from the friend group, and oddly enough, Jungkook seems to be the most devastated about it.
âWhy is Y/N not here?â he asks in the middle of Jin retelling his drunken fishing story, grabbing the attention of everyone in the table and maybe just about everyone elseâs in the common area with the way his voice is frantic. âAnd why is she there with the new kid instead?â
Everyone flits through separate conversations after Jungkookâs interruption, some even wincing to themselves because although they know about your admiration for the guy and not your confession-that-wasnât-one, they figure that nothing good could come out of Jungkook sucker-punching the new kid in his head.
âI donât know, man. Buddy system, maybe?â Jin shrugs, stealing his food because it was obvious that Jungkookâs attention is everywhere but himself and the table.
Jungkook snorts, crossing his arms tightly to the point that even he feels a little suffocated. His entire face is crumpled with hurt, eyebrows furrowed out of frustration when you still arenât looking at him; when youâre still not looking at him with confusion in your eyes, silently telling him off for glaring.
âBuddy system? Weâre in uni. Who the fuck would bully that guy?â
âBy the looks of it, probably you.â
âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â he huffs, refusing to unclench his fists on his thighs.
âWell, whatâs it to you that Y/Nâs hanging out with someone new? What are you so heated for?â Jin elaborates, eyes flitting to you again.
Jungkook could only glare at you.
âWhat are you so nosy for?â he asks defensively, leaning back on his chair in a faux display of relaxation when all he wants to do is to remove the stupid smile on the guyâs face as he watches you talk.
Unlike Jungkook, Yoongiâs not stupid at all â in fact, heâs been vigilantly aware of Jungkookâs glare on the side of his face ever since you sat in front of him.
Yoongiâs not stupid, so he angles himself in a way that Jungkook gets to see him more. He doesnât know the guy personally, but he does know of him and his âcharmâ that seems to make everyone go nuts for him.Â
If looks could kill, then Yoongi wouldâve already had mourners at his feet, but if provocation could poison, then Jungkook would already be frothing at the mouth.
The thing is, Yoongi doesnât even know about your admiration nor your foiled confession to Jungkook. The latter hasnât even done anything personally to him.Â
All he knows is that youâre in a big friend group and that you chose to sit with him, your friend whom you share a couple of advanced classes with but not a friend-friend like Jungkook is, and that youâre very easy on the eyes and admirable yourself if he thinks about it (he doesnât need much time to ponder over it) â and, that he doesnât really like being glared at.
âNo really, I insist!â he laughs, pulling out a handwritten reviewer from his backpack with a grin. âI donât know anybody else who likes making reviewers anymore by hand, so really, youâre just perfect to get them.â
âBut you worked so hard on them,â you gasp, eyes already widening in both surprise and awe at the thick stack of papers in front of you. Yoongiâs handwriting and formatting are perfect; thereâs no unnecessary calligraphy, the vividness of the highlighter is just right, and thereâs even sticky notes at the bottom for additional details and references you could cross-check. âI.. I donât want you to feel that Iâm taking advantage-âŠâ
âBut I offered! You didnât ask for reviewers from me shamelessly like every other opportunist does,â Yoongi laughs, throwing his head back as he slides the papers closer to you. âIâd be a really shitty senior not to give you any help. If anything, I think you deserve even better than-âŠâ
Jungkook canât resist.
Jungkook canât take any more of watching you and Yoongi push and pull over whatever topic he canât hear nor force Jin to eavesdrop on. He canât take another second of seeing you be so happy talking to a guy that he doesnât know, so much so that he comes up to you without a second thought.
âHey,â he greets, his body only turned to you, completely ignoring Yoongi and blocking him off from your sight. âYou didnât order any coffee.â
You angle your body slightly to excuse yourself, except Jungkook conveniently happens to mirror your every move, confusing you even more. âOh, I wasnât feeling like it,â you trail, looking up at him in confusion while Yoongi could see right through him.
âReally?â Jungkook replies, the smile on his face being far from amused, eyes narrowed as he tries to catch up with the own annoyance that he harbors. âBecause Iâm seeing two coffees right now, and oneâs in front of you, soâŠâ he trails, shrugging his shoulders exaggeratedly.
Jungkookâs jaw is still clenched, along with his fists by his sides. Heâs standing tall between you and Yoongi with his shoulders squared and his face steeled, the immovable forces that are him and the unnamed pit in his stomach starting to garner attention.
Namjoon has his phone out.Â
Hoseok only has one cheek remaining on the seat because heâs ready to stand up and collect bets.Â
Youâre still sitting, mostly confused, when you realize the attention thatâs starting to build towards the three of you.
âYes, Jungkook. Great observation,â you snicker, the discreet roll of your eyes making him take offense.
âOh okay, I see. So you were lying by saying that you werenât feeling it, and I donât get the hold-up of you-âŠâ
âWhat did you come here for now, Jungkook?â you angrily whisper, keeping your head down as you retain your gaze on him and lightly tap at the table to indicate to Yoongi for the both of you to move. âItâs a little far-fetched for you to come all over here to pick a fight about coffee.â
Jungkook huffs, turning his head back to Yoongi behind him because he most definitely saw your signal. The lazy, amused gaze of Yoongi is what sets him off even further, the anger in his eyes unmistakable, except you recognize it for only what it is and not jealousy, because Jungkook doesnât see you like that.
Or atleast thatâs what the both of you assume.
Jungkook, your best friend, scoffs loudly.
âYou sound so defensive right now.â
( ⥠)Â
You donât respond much to Jungkookâs calls.Â
As a matter of fact, you donât respond much to Jungkook at all.
You donât show up whenever heâs present, meaning that youâre only magically available whenever thereâs half of your friend group at the most because if thereâs more, then the search for the missing members would ensue, then youâd end up squished in a long table next to Jungkook again.
Itâs very much like him to form grudges, yet he canât even tell if heâs capable of having one towards you. Jungkook, with all his chest and afflictions, wants so badly to hate you because youâve been blowing him off ever since he literally and physically came between you and Yoongi.
He apologized to you for that (and not to Yoongi because he didnât really matter to him at all), and he doesnât know the answer for it yet because his messages still remain unread. Heâs enlisted the help of your mutual friends on various occasions by trying to get them to give all his little treats for you, yet you refuse them as soon as you catch wind that itâs from Jungkook.
He even tried studying for real in the library in hopes that reverse psychology (he thinks thatâs what itâs called) would work and that thinking he doesnât want you to come would make you do the opposite, yet it still doesnât work. Jungkookâs already mad that he studied for nothing (heâs more interested in getting you to notice him than to actually learn), but he becomes even more heated to realize that your anger for him is just directed at him alone.
You still talk to your best friends, with the exception of him, and Jungkook has never been more envious of people who are apparently of the same status as him.
Jungkook wants you to drag him like you drag Sora to the nail salon and have you whisper at his ear to tell the nail tech not to cut your cuticles because youâve been afraid of getting them done since that 1/34th part of a medical drama episode you watched on your phone.
Jungkook wants you to complain to him like you complain to Namjoon when youâre frustrated with a professor whom youâre convinced is only critical to you and no one else, later making him promise not to tell anyone else from your friend group because they like said professor.
Jungkook wants you to run to him as you always did, just because you feel like it. He wants to sit in silence with you again and put his hand on your knee when youâre in the verge of tears just looking at your schedule for the week.
He wants to stand guard again outside the bathroom door of the expensive coffee shop because itâs either the lock is broken or because Namjoon's managed to instill in you the existence of ghosts in cold spots.
He wants to be the Jungkook like youâve always known, again, because it seems like youâve forgotten him completely. You have the Yoongi now, it seems like â the smarter, more composed, and more charismatic variant of him that he wants to get rid of because Jungkook never predicted the existence of him.
Even more, Jungkook didnât even entertain the concept of him being replaced because it was always the two of you together, even in a sea of friends.Â
Heâs your best friend, your confidant even, but nothing more â all Jungkook feels is that heâs even less than the status the both of you are assigned to be.Â
Heâs angry and sad and disappointed all at the same time because he thought he had almost lost you since he rejected your confession. You were fine; you were as fine as you could be for someone rejected when it comes to yearning to be his, and yet the moment you let Yoongi in, Jungkook feels as if you threw everything the both of you had just for him.
âJust so you know, student-teacher relationships are illegal,â he corners you one morning in your dorm, two godforsaken weeks after chasing you around the campus yet turning up empty.
âWhat the fuck are you on about?â you immediately scrunch your nose at him, the accusation he throws at you being too farfetched to the point that you donât even think of shutting the door at him, ignoring Eunjiâs betrayal for you by pretending to come over.
âWhat am I on about?â Jungkook exasperates, the scoff that leaves him making you feel small in front of him. âYouâre literally the one whoâs getting chummy with fucking Yoongi of all people!"
"Yoongi's a teaching assistant! He's our senior! Do you not know that?"
"Do I look like I'm interested in any other people outside of our circle?" he retorts, lips turned up in a snarl. Jungkook provokes you with a sarcastic glare, the look on his face enough to make you throw your head back in irritation.
"Come on, even Jin and Jimin are friends with Yoongi and-..."
"This is not about them!"Â
"But you just-..." you stop as soon Jungkook interrupts you, losing your gaze on him for a single second to close your door and when you look back, you find that heâs already comfortable being vindictive on your bed, his arms crossed and his back straight.
"Also, teacher and teaching assistant both have the word teach so it's literally still illegal," he narrows his eyes sarcastically, the tone to his voice unclear despite his words suggesting otherwise. "You look so stupid right now."
"Jungkook can you stop?!" you burst, your temples stinging at the back and forth that Jungkookâs thrown the both of you in. âWhat the hell is going on with you?"
Jungkook had sworn to himself up and down that he has so much stuff to pick with you. He knows he has so much baggage to unpack and how much shit he has to bring up, even if itâs only been two weeks with you. Heâs partly relieved that youâre in front of him and you still havenât fled, yet a large part of him is beyond frustrated with you because you donât even look like as if your time apart has taken a toll on you.
Between the two of you, itâs only Jungkook who looks like his distraught has manned him completely beyond surrender. Even coming to see you by hatching a plan with a hesitant friend is something he considers an act beyond surrender â whatever the space is between surrender and demand is where Jungkook lies with you.
"No, what's going on with you!â he argues, standing to his feet to come face-to-face with you. âYou can't just spin this around when I've done nothing but be a good friend to you!"
"You think I'm not being a good friend to you just because I don't spend every single minute attached to you? I can still hang out outside of our friend group without being-..."
"This is not about our friend group!" Jungkook emphasizes once again, the tell-tale sting of tears behind his eyes coming up because he feels as if you canât hear him no matter how much he repeats himself. âThis is about us and how you abandoned me ever since I rejected you!"
"I didn't abandon you, Jungkook!" you spit, pushing at his chest lightly with your finger to get him to back up from your face yet he refuses to. Heâs still insistent at staring you down with his jaw clenched, eyes wide and unblinking because he knows that if he moves even just a millimeter askew, heâd cry. âYou didn't even give me the chance to confess to you! You rejected me without even hearing me out. Do you think I would still be able to talk to you, face to face like how you want so badly, as if nothing happened?"
"The answer would've been the same even if you confessed,â he grits with his chest heavy, not at the way he keeps holding his breath in order not to break down in front of you, but because you look at him with so much disdain that it makes him want to puke.
"Do you not think I know that?" you laugh humorlessly, gnawing on your bottom lip as you donât drop his gaze. âDo you think I didn't prepare for that possibility? I knew what could've happened if I confessed and I'd still be okay with it, Jungkook!" you raise your voice, throat already giving out at the slightest pressure because you know you lost the fight ever since you let him in. "What I'm not okay with is that you didn't even give me the chance.â
Itâs evil, really, with the way no amount of self-pity could ever pull you from the grave youâve dug up. You went for Jungkook, carrying all grief you knew you were bound to feel, and yet you still feel unprepared. You still feel unworthy even moping for someone like Jungkook because not even his rejection, nor anyone elseâs acceptance of your admiration by some sort of miracle, is enough to make you feel like youâd be missed.
Your two weeks without Jungkook is your rehearsal for the two months, then two years, then two forevers eventually without him by your side. You had still been able to live by yourself and with your friends, excluding him, and you thought you were fine because it feels as if nothing had changed.
You thought you were fine until Jungkook gets in your face to tell you that itâs not, and all over again, youâre reminded of how desperately you want to be loved by him to the point that youâd rather drown in your own pity to try and preserve whateverâs left of you.
"I told you the answer would-..."
"Shut up!" you cry, steeling your nerves when you realize that Jungkookâs angrily crying in front of you, wiping at his eyes hastily. âFor the love of god, shut up!"
Jungkook stays quiet, not because you told him to, but because nothing good comes to mind when he realizes that youâre crying because of him.
"See? You don't even get where I'm coming from because you're not even giving me the chance to explain myself without making it all about you,â you sob, finally pushing him away, to which he lets you. "That's the problem with you, Jungkook. You're too self-involved."
"Not true," Jungkook whispers, shaking his head earnestly even if he feels the stupidest he has ever did in his life in front of you.
He follows your steps out of routine even if his brain had convinced his system that he hates you just seconds ago, arms instinctively trying to crowd you when you almost trip on the flooring on your way to the coat rack.
"Since you keep insisting that I abandoned you," you chuckle dryly before grabbing your jacket, turning your back on Jungkook and on your own space, which had just been the default hangout place of the both of you for the longest time, in pursuit of your own quiet without him. "Let me follow through."
Jungkook doesnât want to tell you how desperately he wants you to want him again, to love him as you already did, and neither do you.
( ⥠)Â
The perks of having a big friend group is that the absence of several members wouldnât make that much of a difference when it comes to hanging out. It would still sustain itself without a few extra voices joining in on the chatter watching movies and the bullying when it comes to a forgotten birthday greeting here and there.
The downside of being in one, is that said big friend group doesnât matter at all to Jungkook when youâre not in it.
The lengths that your friend (read: a word that Jungkookâs come to abhor) has went through since your fight at your dorm are basically incomprehensible because heâs fully involved himself.
Heâs pining after you pathetically, just like how you had always dreamed of, yet seeing him take turn after turn just trying to gain your forgiveness for something youâve always pitied yourself for makes you feel guilty.
In Jungkookâs defense, he wants to be forgiven and loved (again) as desperately as he acts on an everyday basis. Not only is he pathetic in the sense that heâs hopeless, but also pathetic in the light that he wants the entirety of you (stubbornness and occasional sharpness included) to rub off on him.
âI know Iâm stupid. I-I.. I know that I was unfair for not even letting you confess your feelings because I felt like dying when you started to ignore me,â he mumbles to your bedsheets, his legs crossed on the ground and his head muffled by the fabric because he doesnât even want to sit next to you in fear of you revoking his chance to apologize in person, again, as if thatâs not what he had been doing the past weeks. âY/N, you donât deserve someone as stupid as me and I hate it so, so bad.â
The sound of Jungkook apologizing to you has already been repeated enough to the point youâve learned when to tune him out, but with the way his heart precedes his tone this time, you stop folding your clothes in favor of Jungkook whoâs just two seconds away from passing out on your bed by fabric conditioner-bathed quilt-induced suffocation, to which he couldnât pass up on because it was your scent and he missed hugging you.
âI canât catch up with you on anything that youâre talking about with Yoongi. The only times I open a book are when I want to look at you but I donât want you to see me. I canâtâ I can barely even talk to you without feeling like Iâm beneath you,â he admits lowly, the truth of his rejection finally springing up a little too much, and almost a little too late. âI thought, stupidly, that we wouldnât work because you deserve someone better.â
âI donât need you to catch up with me, Jungkook,â you murmur, lightly slapping his cheeks because he looks sleepy from all the sniffing heâs done on your quilt, but really, his eyes are only narrowed into slits because he feels like heâs about to cry. Again.
âBut I need to, b-because when we run out of things to talk about that youâre willingly to dumb down to my level, what else could we catch up on?âÂ
âYouâre not stupid. I just say-âŠâ
âNo. Donât make excuses for me,â he laughs lightly, still sat on your carpet obediently like a dog because he doesnât want to push your boundaries. âIâm beneath you and I didnât want to drag you down with me because I.. I didnât feel that you deserve me,â he confesses. âBut I want you so badly, Y/N. You have no idea.â
Jungkook wants you so badly, that in your insistence of self-pity, it was his self-preservation that led him to cry by himself when you finally left the library after not-confessing to him.
He wants you so badly, that in his fit of self-preservation disguised into stubbornness, he had tamped down his desperation for you.
âI want to catch up with you, not you to slow down for me,â Jungkook rests his chin on your thigh, his wide, pleading eyes looking up at you. âIâm so sorry, my baby. Iâm so, so, so sorry for being stupid enough to let you go the first time,â he tilts his head, resting his cheek on your awaiting hand. âPlease. Iâm just begging you to slow down for me this one time,â Jungkook swallows the lump in his throat, nudging your hand gently with his cheek. âPlease let me look stupid trying to earn you.â
Jungkook, without fail, tells you how desperately he wants to be loved by you.
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