at the copacabana

ask not for whom the bell peppers

Today a very friendly Golden Retriever came up to me and I said "hey buddy :D" and the owner asked "do you know each other?" like his dog had a social life he didn't know about

i am nooooot locked the fuck in. im locked the fuck out. call the locksmith

Why Wayne got socks in the jacuzzi

those are his hooves you bitch

I just can’t believe some of u are soooo young u didn’t experience the early 2000s at all like even briefly . U were born and ur mother door dashed you home from the hospital

actually i was in the NICU for a couple weeks after being pieced together by surgeons but whatever lmao

That’s because she used klarna. To pay through 4 easy installments with no interest

No YOU'RE cooked. I'm caramelized