Duke the Unicorn

@jessica-messica @glossylalia

Parrot enjoys getting salad tong rides

the funniest character headcanons are feral, homophobic and tax evader i dont accept constructive criticism and you cant change my mind

hates the irish, fucks to survive, war criminal

Top 10 posts on tumblr

KING JAMES, CAN YOU CHILL?

Local King Cannot Stop Promoting His Boyfriend

where’s the lush period drama about this series of events?

fun thing about king James, this guy was fairly public about his bf (more public than what was acceptable). He threw lots of extravagant parties with his man on his arm. It pissed off the church obviously so to get them off his back, he’s the one that ordered the third translation of the Bible from Hebrew to English (the King James Version aka the Authorized Version) so the Bible every hot blooded all American Christian reads today was literally just written so a very gay king could fuck his boyfriend in peace.

Recommended for me? But why

@centaurself

the nature of humanity is just that every so often someone accidentally invents ascii art again

BYE

Ahskajdksjdjsjwje

I will always reblog this because it makes me laugh so hard every time

the correct answer now i’m picturing Chris Pine three times widowed wearing his black veil and his fur coat

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo

If you’re doing this, it is because you, like the tiger, need enrichment and variety in your life. May I suggest cramming just a whole bunch of raw hamburger into a pumpkin and rolling it around your enclosure?

My friends, the full set has been revealed to us!

I love you Archbishop Frank.