the spider
*barry wakes up and sees a spider at the edge of his pillow*
barry: is that a fucking spider..?
spider: no, im a fucking ferret.
barry: did that ferret just talk..?
spider: (laughs) holy fucking shit you really believed that im a ferret.
barry: HOLY SHIT, YOU'RE ACTUALLY TALKI-
spider: (laughs uncontrollably) you're a fucking goofball!
barry: how about i fucking kill you mr. spider.
spider: hey how bout you shut up with your bushy ass eyebrows. THOSE SHITS FORREALLY LOOK LIKE FERRETS!
barry: you think i have bushy eyebro-
spider: OH MY GOD! MY MANS! STOP TALKING! YOUR DRAGON BREATH IS GIVING ME A STROKE!
barry: you know wha-
spider: MY MANS WHAT I JUST SAY!? YOUR SHIT DEAD ASS FUCKING ME UP, MY EYES ARE FUCKING WATERI-
*barry flicks the spider off the pillow and turns to lay on his other side*
spider: (from the distance) YOU PUSSY! YOU SNUCK MY SHIT, ONE OF MY LEGS IS FUCKED UP! RUN ME A FAIR ONE!
barry: you're annoying, go away.
*barry falls back asleep while the spider constantly talks shit until it dies*















