Remus is quite smitten with the new guy he's been dating, but as he clearly can't have nice things, he completely ruins it and now he can only wait for Sirius Black to break up with him. Sirius Black has a different interpretation.
“I called your father an ignorant idiot who should shove his prejudiced opinions up his arse!”
Sirius frowns, like he doesn’t understand why Remus would consider that an issue. “My father is an ignorant idiot who should shove his prejudiced opinions up his arse.”
Lily, my time has come. Please remember me fondly.
No, Lily. My life is genuinely over.
Remember that guy I’ve been dating?
Mmm, let me think. The tall, fit one with the long, soft, dark hair, pretty eyes and broad shoulders, whom you’ve told me about approximately ten thousand times a day?
Yeah, I believe that does ring a bell.
Well, you can forget about him again.
He’s on his way over here to dump me as we speak.
I met his parents yesterday...
Remmie! That’s a huge step!
I didn’t know things were so serious between you two?
Things were seriously serious with Sirius!
Ah, but I gather from your first message it didn’t go very well?
Oh, Remmie, you’re probably being too hard on yourself.
It’s always stressful to meet the parents. I’m sure they’ll understand if you were a bit awkward.
I called his father a narrow-minded bonehead whose imbecile opinions belong in the Middle Ages.
Yeah. Yeah, okay. That’s... That’s bad.
Because apparently I’m an idiot who has a good thing going and just has to find a way to ruin it for himself.
He drove me home and it was so awkward...
I was so embarrassed for causing such a scene at his bloody parents house, I fled inside as fast as I could, without really speaking to him (yes, I admit, I’m a coward).
I texted you right after I got a message from him just now, saying he’s on his way over, because ‘he needs to talk to me’...
Okay. Okay, maybe... If his family really is so narrow-minded, maybe you dogged the bullet?
He seems nothing like them, though. I really can’t believe those people raised him.
Well, you wouldn’t say me and my sister were raised by the same people, so I guess strange things happen.
Know that if he breaks up with you because you don’t get along with his stupid parents, he doesn’t deserve you anyway!
Normally, I’d agree. But I don’t know if that still goes when you call someone’s mother ‘a vicious old hag, whose arrogance is only equal to her stupidity’.
What the hell happened there?!
These are officially my last moments of dating a way out of my league-guy.
Well, I guess it was nice as long as it lasted. Might as well get it over with.
I’m so sorry, Remus. I know you really liked this one...
Stay strong! I’ll have the chocolate ready!
With a sigh, Remus tosses his phone to the side and stands to get the door. Might as well get it over with, right?
When he opens the door to reveal Sirius, the positive thing is that Sirius doesn’t immediately begin yelling at him. He doesn’t even look all that angry, really. He just gives Remus a small, uncertain smile.
The negative thing is that Sirius looks bloody gorgeous. He’s wearing an elegant coat, with a scarf loosely draped around his long neck and his hair is hanging loose. Before today, this would definitely be considered a positive thing, but not when Remus is just minutes away from getting dumped by this ridiculously handsome man. There should really be a rule against looking this good when you’re breaking up with someone, Remus thinks bitterly as he steps aside to let Sirius in his apartment.
As Sirius unbuttons his coat to reveal a fitted shirt showing off his lean, muscular form, Remus can only conclude that he has really been fooling himself by thinking this could ever last.
He shakes his head to stop himself from ogling his soon to be-ex-boyfriend. “Would you like something to drink?” He asks, trying to sound composed.
“No thank you,” Sirius replies. “I’d rather get this off my chest immediately.”
Remus doesn’t reply and stares at his feet to brace himself for the inevitable blow.
“I suppose you know why I’m here?” Sirius asks, sounding a bit nervous.
Remus wonders vaguely if Sirius is concerned about hurting his feelings, even after his horrible behaviour of yesterday. “Yeah,” he whispers. “I do.”
Sirius takes a deep breath. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come, but I just had to at least tell you how sorry I am, even if you want nothing to do with me anymore.”
Remus just stares at him, trying to puzzle together what Sirius just said. He’s sorry... about having to break up with Remus? But shouldn’t he lead with the break up? And why would it be up to Remus to want nothing to do with him? Remus is not in a state of mind to deal with this. Can’t Sirius just dump him already?
Sirius is getting more nervous as Remus continues to just stare at him. “So I guess I just... offer you my apologies, and it’s up to you whether you want to accept them.”
“You’re apologizing?” Remus asks.
“You are apologizing to me?”
“Yes, Remus,” Sirius says, sounding distraught. “But don’t worry, I don’t expect anything from you. I know I don’t have the right, after the situation I put you in.”
“I called your father an ignorant idiot who should shove his prejudiced opinions up his arse!”
Sirius frowns, like he doesn’t understand why Remus would consider that an issue. “My father is an ignorant idiot who should shove his prejudiced opinions up his arse.”
“No! I mean, well... yes, but I’m not supposed to say so, right?”
Sirius shrugs. “They had it coming, didn’t they? I’m not gonna make excuses for them. I was just hoping you might still want to give us a chance?”
“Your parents hate me!” Remus splutters.
Sirius lets out a laugh. “Thank God. If they’d liked you, I seriously had to reconsider our relationship.”
Sirius runs a hand through his hair. “Let me explain. My parents,” he speaks slowly now. “Are awful people. Like, really awful people. I shouldn’t have given in when they demanded to meet you, or I should have at least told you what they’re like. I’m so sorry I put you in that situation and exposed you to them without so much as a warning. I can understand if you hate me right now.”
“Why didn’t you warn me?” Remus asks, as he would’ve much rather been spared the anxiety he has been feeling all day.
Sirius shrugs again. “I suppose I wanted you to form you own opinion? As their son, I’m of course biased to hate them.”
Remus opens his mouth to say that is not how a parent-child relationship is supposed to work, but Sirius keeps talking.
“Look, Remus. You didn’t sign up for dealing with my horrible parents, and I’m sorry I dragged you into it. My family is... messed up, and I can understand if you want nothing to do with that whole mess. I won’t blame you if you just want to stay away from me and my family issues.”
I’ll do a whole lot more than deal with crappy parents if it means I get to be with you, Remus wants to say. I won’t judge you based on who your parents are, Remus wants to say. I won’t just abandon you, Remus wants to say.
What he says instead is “I purposely spilled a glass of red wine over your mother’s new couch!”
Sirius looks at him with a fond smile. “Yeah, just when I thought I couldn’t love you more.”
Sirius doesn’t seem to realise what he just said, but Remus’ eyes widen. “You... love me?”
Sirius flushes and starts stammering. “Oh God, I’m sorry! Not that I love you. I mean, look at you. How could I not? But that’s way too soon, isn’t it? And this is the worst timing! I mean, you’re probably super angry with me, and I don’t even know if you still want to see me...”
“I don’t mind!” Remus quickly says. “I mean, I think I rather like that you love me? I think I’m very much starting to feel the same way?”
Sirius looks at him with a hopeful expression. “You do?”
Remus chuckles. “Come here,” he says as he pulls Sirius towards him. “For you, I’d throw my wine over any piece of furniture your mother might own any day.”
Sirius smiles as he leans in to kiss Remus. “In that case, can’t wait till Christmas.”
Will regular milk do, or is this a triple chocolate with chocolate chips-type of situation?
Hates his parents, loves me, all good!