WHITE ROSES, BLACK DOVES.

MARY JANES

"My body's not a temple, more a bachelorette pad."

"My skin isn't thick, yeah, that shit made me cry."

"I'm not the coolest or the greatest in the club."

"I hope they represent us when the aliens invade."

"They'll ask me if I'm special, I'll say just to you."

"My lover likes me best with nothing on at all."

"I am healthy, I am yours and that's enough."

AUDREY HEPBURN

"I wanted to be immortal."

"I want forests, I want fires."

"I wanted to be immortal, now I'm fine with growing old."

"I was chasing phantoms."

"Where there was push, now there is pull."

"I am drawn to your bones."

"Love, when it's the right kind, well, it always points you home."

"Love was a myth, now it's my morning coffee."

"I don't need accolades or everyone to want me."

"You want me and that's as good as it gets."

SAY MY NAME IN YOUR SLEEP

"Does my memory kill or is it letting you live?"

"I'd rather be hated than forgotten."

"You can change the lock, but I will never quite leave you."

"I know it's done, I know it's over."

"You're better far away from me."

"You're happy, I'm happy for you."

"I hope you say my name in your sleep."

"If these walls could talk, I swear they'd scream."

"It was love, don't lie to me, babe."

"It's the least I deserve and the thanks I get."

"Can't gimme the world, so give me my name under your breath."

OLD FASHIONED

"I lived on your razor's edge for about a year or so."

"I came out seeing things, I came out barely alive."

"She thinks you're so magic, it's fucking barbaric."

"I wish you'd never happened."

"I kept your promises until they all grew teeth."

"It's all just one pathetic, devastating lie."

"I wish your awful hands had never had me at all."

"You are a false prophet and a fool's promise."

HOUSES

"I can see it, the life I could've lived."

"If I'd listened a little closer, if I'd loved you a little less."

"I can see it, like a nightmare, like a vision."

"The signal's bad, that's why the phone never rings."

"No white dress in a frame 'cause you cheated on her."

KINGMAKER

"I called in every favor."

"Give a man one sword, he thinks that he's a savior."

"Once you got what you want, you didn't want me."

"Let you in my home, let you in. my pictures."

"You love a strong woman, until it makes you bitter."

"Now you say you're self-made, guess your memory's fuzzy."

"Did you get off going to bed with the kingmaker?"

VAMPIRE TIME

"Your life, I dreamed about it."

"We had a moment, had an opening, had an almost first kiss."

"I had to see about it, I had to see about you."

"Heaven knows that you're still on my mind."

"Does your telephone still talk 'bout me sometimes?"

"I let go but I'm ready, I'm ready now."

"I love you, I promise, and I will till I die."

"So what are you doing tomorrow, and for the rest of your life?"

MY REGARDS

"This love's got me possessive."

"If you lay a hand on him/her/them, we're both getting arrested."

"Sorry, your kisses make me cocky."

"If I saw him/her/them in this light, I'd want him/her/them too."

"They can look, but they can't ever touch."

"Ride or die, I said it and I meant it."

YOU YOU YOU

"Your name lives in my chest."

"I can't go back, and I can't go home, and I can't move forward."

"I'm the scene of the crime, and the bore of the bar, and a memory hoarder."

"It was black and white, but I see it in color."

"You keep your distance, but not your word."

"You said you loved me, how can that be true?"

"I care about you, knowing you couldn't care less."

IF YOU LET ME

"My heart's a ticking bomb, you set it off."

"I'll be alright, if you let me."

"Loving you is evergreen."

"If you wanna call, oh, please don't."

"It will sink me if you're holding on."

"So please be a stranger, be gone."

FLAT EARTHER

"You were something more than mortal."

"God, there's nothing like a girl and her favorite conspiracy."

"It sure was something, believing like that."

"You were something more than mortal, and you were in love with me."

"I just don't believe in you anymore."

"Tryna make a man out of you, impossible."

"I still believe in miracles and prophecies, I just don't believe in you anymore."

QUESTIONS

"Do you think about me?"

"Do you think about us?"

"Do you miss my pretty, my funny, my touch?"

"Is it driving you mad?"

"Does she look like me? Course she does."

"Will you ever move on? Will we ever be done?"

"Holding on to memories won't keep you warm."

"Now you got a miserable life."

"But who am I kidding? You never listened."

GIRL'S JUST FLYING

"I used to think this town was taken by you."

"I don't miss you, it's like freedom."

"I'm not bitter, I'm not dying."

"I forget about you when I'm not even trying."

"Can't bait the girl if the girl's not biting."

"I know you loved me, yeah, the best that you could."

"Everything worked out like it should."

"I don't want you to come back."

YOU THEN ME NOW

"You'd walk in and light up a room."

"You were nothing worth crying for."

"My heart used to break, now it's all muscle."

"I believed ya, but to be fair, I didn't know ya."

NOTHING LIKE BEING IN LOVE

"Nothing like being in love with somebody honest, somebody kind."

"I know now what we had was nothing like being in love."

"Someone is making me smile now."

"Time was done with us."

"We weren't right, but God, we were good."

dialogue prompts from the seventh season of the wb's smallville.

redemption doesn't suit you.

loving someone is difficult. hate is so clean.

at first, you don't know how you'll ever make it through, but somehow, you do. just trust me on this one.

bravery is not something you can learn.

i thought you'd be happy to get rid of me.

i haven't killed anyone yet, but you're starting to tempt me.

with a gun pointed at your head, you'll say anything, won't you?

i always knew you were smart. i didn't know you were brilliant.

i guess i'm not used to being the one who needs to be protected.

i can't believe i ever worried you wouldn't understand.

i guess you don't know me as well as you thought you did.

don't sit down. you won't be staying long.

this isn't a conversation i've been looking forward to having.

you're not _____. no matter how much you want to be.

we've both made mistakes. this is our chance to start over.

i want us to wake up every morning and be there for each other.

is it a human thing to be so secretive and cautious, or what?

trust is a luxury you cannot afford.

i didn't know you had a secret plan to save the world.

if you want to save me, let me go.

you don't generally do things out of the kindness of your heart.

i don't think things will ever be normal between the two of us.

right now, fiction's a lot more appealing than reality.

don't you watch movies at all?

you looked so cute, i couldn't bear to wake you.

even heroes need their beauty sleep.

i guess people only see what they believe is possible.

you really think you're different?

i don't have any secrets left.

careful. you're starting to sound like you care about me.

after meeting you, i'm starting to believe that heroes really do exist.

this conversation is officially off the record.

we may be family, but i don't have to like you.

i said some terrible things to you. things that weren't true.

okay, i need a little explain-o.

what's churning in that head of yours?

have you ever really allowed yourself to take an honest look at ____?

revenge is like an addiction.

somebody needs to switch to decaf.

keep your wick in your candle, or however the saying goes.

if i lose any more patience, you won't be around to see it.

i won't let you hurt anyone else.

i have to take care of your unfinished business.

i was right. say i was right.

it's hard to face what you've created, isn't it?

i wish you wouldn't look at me like you hadn't seen me before.

i guess i'm just trying to find a part of you i recognize.

you can't tell me that you haven't crossed the moral line in order to save somebody.

i strayed into the minefield of misguided romance. again.

gossip spreads faster than a bad rash, and sooner or later, people are gonna start scratching.

if it weren't for me, you'd be nothing.

if this is the apocalypse, i'd better get my _____.

you look like you could use something warm.

we all make mistakes. it's how we come back from them that matters.

how do you come back when you feel like you're at the point of no return?

i'm keeping an eye on you so you don't get into trouble.

maybe being apart was good for us.

some feedback would be awesome right now.

i don't know where i'd be without you.

did i mention that i missed you?

you've fallen far from your ivory tower, haven't you?

i may have underestimated the power of the media.

what are you gonna do? lecture me to death?

you're so busy, you can't return my calls?

little girl, little girl why are you crying? inside your 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋 your heart is 𝐃𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆. little one, little one, your 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋 𝐈𝐒 𝐏𝐔𝐑𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐆. of 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 & 𝐑𝐀𝐙𝐎𝐑 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐒, your blood is surging. run away from the river to the street, and find yourself with 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐔𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑. you're a stray for the salvation army; there is no place like HOME when you're got no place to go . . .

his question at least was a fair one - what were the motivations of her employers? "there are a lot of times i ask myself the same thing." it's not the confidence that he wants, is it? but at the least, no one could accuse ada of SUGAR COATING a bitter pill to be swallowed. "but i can say that should things prove to be moving in a direction that i feel is... untenable..." there's a number in her head, where if the death toll rises above it, it's become something that no longer allows her to sleep at night, to feel herself justified. and once that number had been crossed, that perhaps it wasn't always going to be about the money. sometimes it meant that life had placed her in a unique position to knock off course the worst kind of plans that could have poisoned an already changed world any further. "then that's when i have my own discretion to do what i feel is right. i think that proves itself the correct formula for any free thinking person."

and that, of course, meant luis as well. as much as she liked to think him a certain way, it'd always been years since they'd seen each other last. ada had feigned her death, or at least hadn't bothered to clear up the facts, at least thrice now, and the version of her that he'd known best at lab 6, perhaps ,had been the one that most felt like her. but too much had happened between then, and now. he likely felt the weight of all that guilt as SHE DID watching the results of her work at the arklay lab claim a city. he carried the destruction of every tyrant on his own back. "but what i do know that for you... you're working out of a backwater lab in the middle of nowhere. without air conditioning." the sort of things a typical lab would have in place, if only to preserve their samples correctly. how long could he do this on a shoestring budget? "you can only get so far on your own, luis, before it gets dangerous. there's too many stories of researchers who don't know when to step back, or get help." oh, she's shot down those same men who'd commit to the bit. like dr william birkin. another once upon a time.

but they're stories, with lessons wrapped about them that luis likely was well and proper aware of. the realization that dawns on luis' face isn't a pretty one... and ada let him cycle through his emotions on it rapidly, idly pressed at the glass of her lukewarm drink. "there's always another option, which is run. you could spend your whole life running, luis, and never know peace." perhaps that's the best that any of them DESERVE for what's been done. ada's gaze flickering to meet his own with a sanguine smile to match. "you may not see it now, but something has to change for you. living the way you do now..." well. it's not meant to be her business. and still, she finds it wasteful, of him, his talent, even his personhood. how he'd become someone who was once so full of life, and now, confined himself to a jail of his own making, as if it might serve as repentance in his obsession.

oh luis, he doesn't want his research to become twisted in the wrong people's hands. but the better means to do that was to simply not participate at all, because a brilliant mind was rarely a match for a person with WICKED intent. "the organization isn't looking for another threat to the right to exist. but will that stand the test of time? it wouldn't be the first time either of us have found disappointment in our employers. but while you might doubt my motivations, i'd rather keep you alive. i'd rather see you happy. and i don't know if either of those things will remain true if you stay your current path."

he hates how right she is, how she seems to see right through him even though it's been a good chunk of time since they have met.   it's a side effect of who ada is, and it's also a side effect of who luis himself is.    there's the need to lash out and bite at the hand that feeds, but he refuses to do so; pushes down the foolish instinct because she's only speaking the truth.    how many have worked for umbrella and are still running?    still looking over their shoulders and hoping that they'll be forgotten?    tongue presses against the backs of his teeth; does he want to be the type that has something like nemesis sent after him?    he remembers reading the reports and the horror and dread that had filled his stomach; those agents had merely stumbled into the wrong moment and then they were hunted down like prey.   the feeling leaves a horrid taste on his tongue and he looks away from her.    it would be kinder if ada had been sent to take him out  ——  at least it would be a beautiful face, a kind face, that was his demise.    but one of those mutated creatures that were created for nothing more than destruction?    

luis shuddered in the heat and he knows that the sweat against the back of his neck has nothing to do with it.

besides, he's already paranoid enough whenever he manages to go into the village to observe those that he had known for years.    their faces are much more blurred now; he doesn't recognize them beyond whatever is happening and he feels the pang of horrid longing when they don't recognize him.    as much as luis has attempted to escape from the backwoods of it all, there is still part of him that wants their approval.    it's a horrible habit that he hasn't managed to shake with age.    but she's right in the way that he has hit a wall in his research  ——  there's only so much he can do from the ramshackle place that he has holed himself up in.    to do more, it requires him to push further into the village, to no longer blend and to stand out, and the prospect of doing that alone is terrifying.

he needs the reassurances of extraction if mendez comes for him, if saddler decides that he is something to be dealt with.    whoever ada is, whatever secrets she holds, she is the key to something like that.   if he wants to help them all, he has to sell his soul again.   something that he had sworn to himself that he wouldn't do, but the inevitable is hanging over his head like a noose.    saving the people who have raised him is the important part  ——  it shouldn't matter what he has to give up in response.    that part of him is still selfish, but he has to learn when to swallow his pride.

"you think i'm not happy here?"   the question is asked sarcastically, lighter flicking on to ignite another cigarette.     he takes a long drag, thumb pressing into his temple as he exhales the smoke between them.     his chest feels heavy and his stomach heavier; there are so many things that he doesn't want to agree to, so many paths that he wants to run to instead of backing down another familiar one.     but as much as he wants to argue with ada, he knows that there isn't going to be a way out of this.    she has him cornered, and no matter how he wishes it were different, he is a rat that is scurrying straight to his master.

it was probably... fucked up that she could sleep. but this was, unfortunately, nothing new. more intense? more concentrated? not just a TRAINING? well, of course -- but it was what she was meant to do. made to do. she slept like a baby, like the DEAD. maybe the nightmares would come later, maybe her nervous system would finally awake and kick in and she wouldn't sleep for the next six months or years. as it was, her eyelids were heavy with sleep. sleep that she HAD managed to get.

if she had any wounds, they'd long healed by now courtesy of her genetic makeup. all that was left were the pink markings of new scars and the dried, caked blood and grime. there might be some shrapnel stuck in her, might be some shit she would have to take care of later with a knife and a belt that she would bite down on to keep quiet. but for now... she wasn't worried about it. couldn't be. she had bigger fish to fry.

like this boy she was now absolutely trauma bonded with who was looking her in the eye and making her feel. things. hm. didn't like that. nevertheless, his words garnered a laugh from her even if it was soft and weak. "good thing you ARE the cops. saves you a phone call." she shouldn't be giving into it, the teasing and how easy it was and how NICE it was. she's never had that before. which was probably one of the biggest reasons WHY she needed to shut it down. the fond smile on her face fell slightly as she shifted awkwardly, moving to sit up completely as she looked down at her filthy hands. jesus christ.

"i don't think the water pressure is anywhere near strong enough to get all this off." dark eyes glancing down at the sheets as her mouth managed a frown. "i feel really bad for whoever's gotta wash all this. should we just burn it? would that be more merciful?" sounded like a tease, but eris was DEADLY serious. at the mention of questioning, she let out a deep sigh and went to try (and fail) to run fingers through her hair before they snagged on a knot and she grimaced.

"i don't know what i should tell them." the truth of the night, obviously. that was a given. but... what about before? a nervousness grew in the pit of her stomach as her gaze found the window. focused on the light. real, PEACEFUL sunlight. she'd never seen that before. "if i tell them everything, they're just going to take me and lock me in another room. another lab. another doctor. another lifetime of tests and prodding and..." the fear rose inside of her like bile, but she was DESPERATE not to completely break in front of leon. that was the last thing he needed right now.

she has a point.    technically, he's the cops; he should have some sort of supervisor that he can reach out to, someone back home that will pick up the phone and guide him through the next procedures.    hell, this town will have its own set of rules to play by as well and people that he will need to go through.    but for some reason….he doesn't want to contact any of them.     he doesn't want to hand over eris, even if it's the right thing to do.    she needs to get to a hospital and get checked out, maybe get some blood and tissue samples; if they can do that, there might be a way to ensure that this will never happen with umbrella again.     but the thought of even doing that, of allowing that to happen to her when she had looked almost terrified at the prospect…

leon swallows hard and runs his fingers through his hair.    he gets up from the mattress that is far too worn in for his own tastes and begins to remove the bedding, piling it up in the corner.    really, it should probably be burned for contamination right away, but he'll leave it to the staff to know if they want to take that route.      tongue presses against the backs of his teeth as he tries to keep himself from pacing, tries to keep himself steady from the guilt that is gnawing at his stomach.

eyes glance over as the sound of the shower drones on against the cheap bathroom tiling.    if the past night has taught him anything, it's the fact that not everything is what it seems and that trusting people should never be a given, it has to be earned.    if he allows them to poke and prod at eris and take her away, would she ever emerge again?     or would he just be signing her over to umbrella all over again, another pretty prize to detonate when it's convenient for them to do so?    but if he keeps her, is he putting humanity in jeopardy?    is there things that could be done, prevented by studying her?

he lets out a shaky breath and realizes belatedly that his hands are shaking as well.     he also realizes that he's taken too many steps forward and now he's at the bathroom door, his hand pressed lightly against the wood as he feels his heart racing.      sometimes the right thing and the right thing aren't the same.     he has to decide the choice that he can live with, and he doesn't know if he can live with eris being torn apart like another lab rat once more.

the water turns off and he jumps slightly, then lets out a frustrated breath as he presses his forehead against the wood.     following his instincts has gotten him this far  ————   it goes against everything that he's been taught, everything that he has been working for.     but he thinks he could live with a setback or two.

"hey, eris?    when you're done in there, do you want to get some breakfast?"     his voice is far more timid than he wants it to be, but he feels like he's choking on a decision.    he feels like he's ready to scream  ————  every part of him wants to call someone else to deal with this.     but it's his responsibility now, and her life?     her life is far more important than anything else.     no matter who she works for or who has made her, she is worth more than what they've all given her.

there's a small bag on the rickety table in the corner of the room.     he had grabbed some clothes before they had tucked in for the night so that they wouldn't have to wear the bloodied and dirtied clothes that felt as if they were embedded in their skin any longer.     "then maybe we can get out of here.      i hear california's supposed to look nice." 

eyes watch the other woman closely —— she almost seems confused by the flower being offered up. it's nothing special; just a dandelion that had been growing in the weeds, but she's always found something special about them. then again, it's probably tied to a childhood, one where the soft puffs meant something far more innocent. there's no use in playing pretend now when they've both seen the horrors of the world, but maven can't exactly help herself if she's being honest.

teeth drag into her bottom lip and she lets out a soft laugh. "no, no i don't think it'll give you superpowers. people do eat them in salads though. the uh, stems at least." a shrug of her shoulders as her fingers fiddle with the edge of her sleeves. a nervous habit that she's never been able to break, lightly slotted into her dna without her permission.

but then grace speaks and her eyes soften, hands falling to her sides. "that's awful." that someone hasn't given grace the time of day. that the only time she's ever had flowers was a reminder of what she had lost. it doesn't seem fair; she's been wrapped up in so much of this and she has nothing to show for it. she's grown stronger, but what's the point if there's nothing at the end of the tunnel to make it worth it?

maven lets out a slow breath and steps closer, her fingers lightly wrapping around grace's. the motion in and of itself is delicate —— she doesn't want to disrupt the soft puffs that are threatening to fall at any second. "close your eyes, make a wish, and blow." there's a moment of hesitance, a feeling of being too vulnerable, of letting too much settle on the table when she should be keeping it close to her chest. "at least, that's what my sister and i used to do when we were kids."

have you ever told a story that at the time you don't think is super sad, and then it's only after you finish and see the listener's face that you realize it was SUPER fucking sad? yeah, that's grace right now. dammit. there was the smallest wince as she played back the last ten seconds. stupid, stupid, stupid -- why did she have to go and say that?

before grace could allow herself to spiral further, however, she was saved by the sound of maven's gentle laugh. it took the edge off, pushed back the invisible forces that threatened to smother her with embarrassment. lips twitched, a quiet laugh echoing the other's. "i-i think i've been spending too much time with all of you bsaa and dsco people." she would never have dreamed of... well, doing a LOT of stuff before the events at wrenwood and the ARK -- herbs and plants have definitely been one of the more... amusing? positive? evolutions.

she also realized in this moment that she wasn't used to touch. not the gentle kind, the kind that wasn't violent or desperate. not a monster, not a child clinging to her for help, not a dying man leaning on her for support as she dragged his body around a facility. it was just... nice. and it almost made her JUMP. but grace managed to reign herself in, cheeks blooming pink as she stood as still as she would if a bee was flying too close.

it was going to sound stupid, but grace... didn't want to close her eyes. too busy studying maven's face, taking in the tiny micro expressions and unique bits. the slop of a nose, the rounding of the eyes. oh. she was staring. she gave a firm nod, shutting her eyes tight. and... she stood there. thinking. what could she wish for? what did she WANT?

she wanted to sleep through the night without waking up in a cold sweat, screaming her throat raw. she wanted emily to be released from the hospital. she wanted the adoption papers to go through. she wanted a two bedroom, one and a half bathroom home with a porch. but for now, she settled for something small.

she just wished that the weather would hold, that the sun would shine just a bit longer so that they might stay here.

gently, she exhaled through puckered lips, allowing her eyes to open and watch the bits of the dandelion begin to fly away. a smile grew on her lips, a small and slightly pathetic laugh leaving her. "i-i always wanted to do that. my mom... alyssa -- well, i had really bad allergies as a kid. just walking past a flower shop would have me sneezing for two days. she would never let me near one of these... f-for my own good, of course! i don't blame her at all." and honestly? this moment was... sweet. nice. something that she would cling to in her memory when the going gets tough again. because god only knows it ALWAYS gets tough.

blue eyes watch with far too much attention as lips pucker and then blow; the soft white puffs spread out happily into the grass and air around them.   it feels nice and mundane, two things that are rare for people like them, who have been through far too much and who have seen far too much death.    after everything with umbrella and ark, she sometimes forgets that there can be nice moments like this.    she's still adjusting to the new version of her, the kind that has to actively step into the gym, that has to find bandaids in her cabinets.     wounds that had once healed quickly now take a week or more to stitch themselves together.     

oddly enough, the only time she forgets her new weaknesses is when she's around grace, when she remembers that it had all been worth it because the other was a shining light.     she was the epitome of a ray of sunshine and she did not deserve to be dragged into the world that she was.     the underground is no place for her; there is far too much darkness that will happily smother out the light if it's given the chance.

"you seem like the type that would be allergic to them.   then again, flowers and pollen tend to make me sneeze as well."    maven's nose scrunches on instinct and she finally flicks her attention away from her.    it feels foolish to even mention herself in moments like this, when grace appears to finally be healing from what gideon and alyssa had put her through.    then again, maven's never liked to talk about herself period.     she's a shadow and she's meant to blend in, to creep where most others can't.     shadows don't  disclose their life stories.

the question surprises her and for a moment she tenses up.     anette is still a blurry part of her, no matter how much she tries to seek it out.     the memories sometimes come and go during dreams, but other than that, her sister feels like a far off memory, someone she has dreamed up as an imaginary friend.     she's debated finding her, but there's too much responsibility behind a motion like that.     she doesn't know who might still be looking for her, and leading that to her sister's front door feels unfair.

 a simple shrug of her shoulders.     "she liked to go on rides at carnivals with me.     and taking my cotton candy so i wouldn't eat myself sick."     her lips curve up in a slight smile, one that's sad at the edges.     it feels strange to say any of it out loud  ————  she hasn't known grace for too long, but she's already pulling information out of her that she has only kept written down in journals.     she makes her not want to blend anymore   ————  maybe it's time to step out of the shadows. 

"i can't remember much."    the admittance is quiet, her fingers reaching out to gingerly run along the top of a dandelion flower, feeling the soft velvet of the petals.    "some day when i'm sure that i'm not a target anymore, i'll know more."