d. santos

"I sat by the ocean and drank a potion, baby, to erase you"

I don't wanna feel like no one will love me back

I don't wanna feel that I don't deserve happiness

I don't wanna think that I'm the problem

That I was always the problem

I just wanna be okay

If you're not over someone

Don't get involved with someone else

If you're not sure of something

Don't act like you are

And the most important:

Talk!

Just talk!

A conversation could avoid a lot of pain.

Just be clear

Please

I thought

That everything was fine

But clearly

I was wrong

You and me

Side by side

I was feeling the tension

I was feeling the uncomfort

I thought

That everything was ok

That I moved on

That the felling wasn't so big

But when I saw you

I felt the pain

All over again

I remembered how much I like you

I'm not over it

In your house, probably

Watching a cult movie

(or not watching)

If I could choose, I'd be with you

As a couple

Without all this drama

Without all this sadness

If I could choose, I'd change

This crazy party night

For some happy months

By your side

But I can't choose

So I'll be okay with what I have

And that is:

Days without you.

I miss the phonecalls

(and it was only a few)

I miss you singing your songs

I miss your smell, your bed, your room

I miss your touch

I miss your beautiful eyes

I miss how was easy to talk to you about anything

I miss us making plans

I miss you holding my hand, hugging me

I miss our jokes

I miss you

With this

"I live in the moment" thing is:

You don't know

What this moment means

To the other one.

now I’m home, a little bit drunk and I ask myself: what if it’s not meant for me? love

1. Be clear (really clear)

About what you want

About how you're feeling

About where we're going to

2. There's no 2

There's no more

I just ask for one thing

Believe me,

If it was my choice,

I wouldn't choose to be so intense,

I wouldn't choose to feel what I'm feeling for you.

Now everything hurts.

Hurts because, at this moment,

I can't be your friend

And I also can't be

Whatever I was 2 weeks ago.

Hurts because

I have this fuckin good memory

And unfortunately

I can remember details

That I don't wanna remember right now.

Hurts because

I know you'll probably read this

And I don't wanna talk about it

But I won't stop writing about it.

Hurts because

You knew me.

You read my texts, my poems,

You knew I am an intense person,

You knew what I was just leaving behind,

You just had to leave everything as clear as possible

But you didn't.

I was ok until today,

Now everything is a mess.

And quoting Lorde:

"Bet you rue the day you kissed a writer in the dark